Tag Info

Hot answers tagged

287

Firstly, I have to admit that while reading your question I was wondering if you're being serious. For me (as a hopeful future father with the same questions in mind), your solutions sound shocking and I would certainly advise against them. To reflect on some points... 1) "no TV ever, no movies, no pop music, no magazines" Does this also mean no friends? ...


62

For a different perspective: When I was in grade school, I had a friend that didn't have any type of TV service at home (they did have dial-up internet, but certainly no Netflix). I was completely unaware of this fact for a long time, until the first time I went to his house. There was a TV in the living room, but it was only used to watch home videos, and ...


54

Wow! Well, it sounds as though you want to be the perfect family, and the perfect parents. And it's easy to understand why. Who wouldn't want the best of everything for their children? I have a couple of general comments, I hope you'll find them useful. Oh and before I forget, congratulations on your soon-to-arrive new addition to the family! :) So... ...


47

We homeschool our kids, so perhaps I can provide a unique perspective. A lot of the other answers seem to be primarily worried about friends. People sparked friendships for millenia before television and public education, and they can do so today. It's hard to see when your own childhood friendships formed at school over common pop culture interests, but ...


36

While I think your intentions are good, I think that some of what you are doing will actually have negative effects. Dolls are a perfectly healthy toy - both my son and my daughters played with them. They also all played with toy shops, aeroplanes, racing cars, horses etc. My point is: they are toys. Whether they have any gender affiliation in your family ...


30

I have 3 daughters 7, 5, 3 years old. I didn't allow TV till 1 year ago when I was talked first into babysitting a large plasma while its' owner leaves the country for a year or two. Then it didn't take much to hook it up. I spend 1 hour in the last 6 months watching it. My daughters however deteriorated. Without TV it was possible to engage them, the two ...


30

You lack one key: To be wonderful, to be amazing, to be successful, she must not be locked in this overwhelming strategy. Sadly, you are contributing to "this sexist world". It seems the motivation behind her future micro-managed life is that she is female, and as such will require much more "equipment" in order to survive. This is false. Your daughter ...


26

There is sufficient reason, imo, to be concerned. Research findings to date might suggest a correlation between television viewing and developmental problems, but they cannot show causality. Enough, in fact, that the American Academy of Pediatrics has issued a policy statement suggesting that children 2 and older be restricted to no more than 1 to 2 hours ...


21

No scientific, but anecdotal answer: We don't have a cable either and are in a very similar situation – IT pros with fast Internet. Our kids are 6 and 9. Both go to school / preschool and interact with other kids. While there will always be a group of kids that has seen everything that was on TV (square babysitter, you know...), others won't because their ...


19

My daughter is about to turn 11, and I have similar hopes for her. Each of the paragraphs below is a category that her father and I have found to be influences on her in some way, and ways we try to approach them. Provide positive examples. This needs to be both men and women, of course: women who embody the values and confidence you hope for her to have, ...


17

Whether children get picked on has much less to do with the thing they are picked on for and much more to do with their social skills and general social standing. If your children asks to see something specific, make it available to them if it is appropriate for them to see, but concentrate on developing their social interaction skills. As a child I had ...


16

Beofett's answer is excellent, but I would like to add a few personal observations which were too long for a comment. Youtube, specifically, can be very hard to control. Our toddler (3.5 years) does get to watch stuff there, but you have to be vigilant. Examples: Looking at toys helicopters, easily browsed to real helicopters, then to some wartime ...


13

I think you're overthinking this a bit. It's great for brainstorming, but don't let little things like whether or not she gets to play with dolls distract you from your primary laudable goal of raising an amazing daughter. For instance, why wouldn't an intelligent and happy child be able to enjoy and possibly even benefit from a bit of TV? What's so ...


12

The biggest problem would be, as you state, the children not understanding the language and cultural references of their peers. I've even noticed this myself. I don't watch (or have) a TV, I don't care about or follow sports and I listen to music outside the norm. When I talk to colleagues or other parents, I have effectively nothing to have small talk ...


11

On the other hand ... I was making my living as a freelance graphic designer when my children were small (way pre-iPad), and was constantly reading warnings against letting children spend too much time on the computer. I read to them a great deal, and did other activities with them as a "stay-at-home mom." But since I was actually making my living at home, a ...


9

--- Disclaimer: Some might feel this answer to be hard to digest. --- Have you ever thought about what is happening in your kid's brains while they are watching TV? I mean, from a neuroscientistic perspective? Basically a fireworks of impressions without any chance to influence what is happening. A child in front of TV will absorb a flood of pictures, ...


9

Think about this: Born in 1988, I grew up with very limited access to TV, but full access to a computer in a common area that I sneakily used without permission or supervision. I went to a small private school with about 100 kids per grade until I was 18. The majority of casual conversation at school revolved around what kids had watched on television. ...


9

On top of the great answer from bmgh1985 (and I'd particularly second their recommendations of 'Something Special' and 'Balamory') here are some more suggestions: In the Night Garden: Very safe, very gentle stories for real littlies which sometimes star female characters, sometimes male (and sometimes ones where you can't tell). The DVDs have a special ...


8

I think we are spoiled in the UK as we have some great programming available. If you can find them, here are some to watch out for: Balamory - Lead is a scottish lady and there are diverse characters included from other races and also disabled characters (another thing i like about our shows). Something Special - there is one main guy in it but he works ...


7

In my (admittedly anecdotal) experience our children have not experienced any harm from not watching TV, and may have benefitted from not having a TV around. When my then-girlfriend and I moved into our first apartment together we had a TV and had it plugged in - but the only 'person' who watched it was our dog, because we'd turn the TV on to keep him ...


7

I like what you are hoping to do. However, be very careful with how you approach raising your child in this manner! I was raised much like this... For the first 13 years of my life. There are numerous opportunities that I missed, chances to do things that would have been very helpful to me now. Also, once your daughter leaves her seclusion (and trust me, she ...


6

Toddlers and pre-schoolers do not have terribly long attention spans, generally speaking. 21 minutes (roughly the time of a half-hour show, minus commercial breaks) can be a long time for a kid to sit and follow uninterrupted dialog. In order to appeal to parents, shows targeting that age range will frequently try to work some sort of "edutainment" ...


6

I don't think it's bad at all to not have cable or satellite. My wife and I deliberately raised our children (eldest is almost 14, youngest is 9) without broadcast and cable TV. We do of course have a TV and a blu-ray player, and Internet access. Why'd we do it this way? Put simply, there's too much on TV that runs counter to the values we want our children ...


5

It's unlikely your child will suffer negative social consequences due to not having broadcast TV in your home. TV is on the decline. At this point in time, cable/satellite television is not as big of a social influence as it would have been in yours or your husband's time. For instance, a survey found that 1/3rd of "Millennials" don't watch broadcast TV.1 ...


5

In addition to the answers already given, I'd also add My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Almost all the main characters are female, yet the plot lines are not all stereotypical girly-girly things. (My 4-year-old son likes it almost as much as my 5-year-old daughter.) Cupcakes and butterflies are balanced with action and adventure. The ponies are all ...


5

Some other options that might be worth taking a look at: Sid the Science Kid is more inclusive than some of the other PBS options. While the characters are Muppets, they've also got recognizable ethnicity. Ni Hao, Kai-Lan or Dora the Explorer from Nick Jr. -- while each has a non-white, female protagonist, there aren't a whole lot of other human characters ...


5

Most of the answers here appear to be about screen time, but it's also important to remember that YouTube is not designed to be a safe space for a child. For example, my son likes to watch Minecraft videos. Very often these have a very unsuitable adult voiceover, plus optional heavy metal soundtrack. Do you want some random teenager swearing and talking ...


5

I'd like to take your post and translate it into a list of one-word goals for qualities you'd like your daughter to have, let me know if I seem to have missed anything or misinterpreted: Confidence Perseverance Individuality Happy Intelligent Knowledgeable Ambitious Your goals for your daughter sound very well-thought out. You clearly want the best for ...


4

Play with your kid, read good book for him, talk with him, teach him! The first thing we did while planning kids - we've thrown TV away. At all. We don't have a similar device at home. My daughter (5 yrs now) watches cartoons and programs that I choose for 15-30 minutes per day WITH ME on the screen using my laptop and projector. We speak about what we are ...


4

First, I wouldn't call this excessive just yet. Without knowing what it is that frightens him, it's hard to say if its a "normal" reaction or not. Is he scared of Phineas' spiky hair? Or that what they're doing is super dangerous and somebody could get hurt? To begin, I would strong encourage deep probing to really understand what it is that scares him, ...



Only top voted, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible