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-3

How about setting up supervised facetime/skype sessions once every 2 weeks for a year minimum before even entertaining the idea of a 14 year old traveling to hook up with anyone, known or unknown, regardless of sexual orientation (agree with others, too few details provided) If you try this approach you are telling your 14 year old you are listening and ...


1

The user "Matt" posts an argument that your children are not speaking German because they do not like to speak it, but rather that they are not completely fluent in it. I'd actually like to offer a counter argument to that: I myself was raised with four languages, and have since observed my mother raise another child with the same languages. I'm also raising ...


2

I think you have 3 separate issues here. Tidy appearance There are some near-universal assumptions that people make about others who exhibit poor hygiene. Hygienic, tidy appearance is separate completely from style. You can wear the exact same outfit, but still give different impressions about yourself based on how tidy you are. I believe it's important ...


0

From the lack of information it doesn't seem like you have all the information on what is really going on. I would first suggest that you go and do something Fun with your daughter and have a calm conversation about the whole thing and see what is going on, she is 14 and believes that she can make decisions on her own (assumption), so talk to her and make ...


0

There is really only one answer needed for this issue. Self esteem and personal appearance (in all ages, but more quickly in children) comes from only one factor. A sense of being valued by role models (or mates more commonly in women). Emulation (or 'pea-cocking') quickly follows because value is a diminishing property that when viewed internally ...


-4

There are several things going on here, but I'll address only the two most relevant concerns. The first and most important thing you should be aware of is that, yes, while she is a teenager, by our (current U.S. standards) she is still a child. Children do... childish things. They manipulate their own parents (biological or otherwise) in order to get what ...


4

Literally had exactly this situation myself at her age, excepting the sexuality component, which doesn't seem like an issue here (but it is critical to be clear that it is not an issue here, when communicating any decision to her!). Not a parent, but my parents' decision on this point was one that I found fair at the time, so she may as well. Is there ...


4

You can have it both ways. Teach that someone should have a style that is their own, because unlike fashion style is timeless, but that our appearance sends messages to other people so it is important to carefully consider what that style is. As a boy, I wish I had this advice while I was younger. Even though my family grew up fairly poor and shopped second ...


0

My brother-in-law is from Mauritius, his wife from Poland and they live in UK. His girls speak fluently Polish and English and understand some French. I've never heard them "refusing" to speak any of the parents' language. The eldest sometimes interpret for polish school mates. She looks quite happy to know more than one language, so your worries maybe for ...


7

Here are some thoughts that might help: Would you be ok with it if she was not a crush, but a normal good friend that she has not seen for a long time?! If so than her request is not unreasonable. (If not, it may still not be unreasonable) Is california less safe than your own environment?! If an adult accompanies her for the trip the travel should be a ...


10

There are many unanswered questions here which do matter. I presume this is not someone with whom she had a relationship, but someone she has never met in person (if I'm wrong, please correct me). Did she first make contact with the friend online? What is your general policy about a 14 year old meeting up with someone she met online? At what age do you (as ...


12

Not focusing on the sexuality and asking the father's view regardless of gender is great. This is an opinion question, though, so may be closed as too broad. That said, I'd suggest that it really ought not to have anything to do with the distance, cost, or 1st crush status, but the fact that because of her age, her safety is an issue. Also, you do not ...


4

I think you can keep it focused on the image she wants to portray. Ask her: What are you saying about yourself with that look? If what she thinks she's putting out there matches what other people think, and she's okay with that, so be it. If her perceptions are off, you can gently correct them: That outfit makes you feel comfortable, but that boy ...


3

disrespect is not acheived in a day. Neither is respect. By the time a child reaches the teen years, corporal punishment is no longer an option. The only thing you have as leverage at this point is the respect your child has for you. The history of caring, concerned, loving discipline that you have shown both to the child and other children. I do not ...


0

How you should handle comments like this will depend on the situation, and what language is used around it. There is a difference between: "You're not my father! I hate you!" And: "You can't tell me what to do, you're not my father!" There's also a difference between a flippant remark, meant just to irritate/hurt you, and an outburst used as a final ...



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