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3

A related question is Teenage daughter and stepfather and reading that you can see that teenagers invoke similar emotions in the adults who have to deal with them, even when other things about the family are different. Let me suggest a few things for you to try: don't expect her to adore the new babies. You adore them, her father adores them, strangers on ...


4

You ask if she is a bad influence on your twins. The answer is no, not at this point, because their powers of observation are not so sharp that they will learn behaviors from her.


1

She is a child that has had her family torn apart, she may partly blame you, even if that is unfair. Ultimately the burden of responsibility for building a positive relationship is upon your shoulders, it probably won't be easy, even with out the cultural issues they are never easy, but it is going to be a lot harder if your primary concern is that her ...


2

I am a 13 year old as well. I have not learnt to control myself properly yet, and I am still trying to find ways, but I do have a few things that I want my parents to do when I get angry: When I go in my room it means I don't want my parents to come in and bother me. In other word it means I need my space. Sometimes (mostly after I calm down), I try to go ...


0

The answers and comments surrounding this question lead me to an answer that I will call the Dog Whisperer answer. Now I am not comparing my daughter to a dog, but when the Dog whisperer goes into troubled dog's home he usually fixes the owners. Usually the dog is just fine. I think it is possible that my anxiety about trying something new may have been ...


4

Yes, it is perfectly normal. I am over 30 and still have some chills walking at home alone in the dark of night. Children have problem separating fantasy and reality. By 11 this is almost gone, but the mileage is different for each person. Do not diminish those fears. Empathy is the keyword here. Tell him that it is ok to have fears, but we need to be brave ...


2

Eleven is not really all that old. I can remember being unnerved when I was alone in a dark room around that age and later. When she's home from college, my oldest daughter won't take the trash out after dark. I don't know how she gets around campus. I guess she travels with friends. You don't have to go back very far, a few hundred years some places, a few ...


6

If I were in her shoes, I would probably be wondering why do we have to have a "meeting"?! In fact, I find it hard to reconcile the two words together: "family" and "meeting". I am not commenting on your particular family, just expanding on the concept of the "family meeting". Families are supposed to have some cohesion and togetherness by default in ...


5

My first guess is she is expecting the worst. When people have good news they tend to tell it to you immediately. When they have bad news they call family meetings. My second guess is that she thinks you want something from her. If you didn't she wouldn't need to be there. Now no matter how trivial you think your request is you have to remember she is 13. ...


22

The problem isn't "family", it's "meeting". Meetings without an announced agenda are generally a Bad Thing in business, and not much better in a family. And anything called a "meeting" is an immediate turn-off. Heck, I don't know what you think a "family meeting" is, so I would be nervous about attending!


5

Your comment "define us with the word family" may be one of valid reasons. If she doesn't fully define you with the word 'family', then even the symbolic act of explicitly structuring and naming various things as 'family something' is confrontational - it can easily be emotionally felt as pushing her to openly accept the definition you want (contradicting ...


18

If you don't have family meetings very often, my guess is the previous two were announcing the divorce and the remarriage, even if they weren't called a family meeting. Aside from that, it's probably mostly a result of her not enjoying the anticipation, which is much more fun for the person in the know than it is for others. Next time, it's probably better ...


20

From the sounds of it you have kind of set her up to not see "family meetings" in a positive light. First, it sounds like family meetings aren't a common occurrence at you house. In your daughters mind this might translate into thoughts of "Ok, something serious is coming." Serious means something she will have to deal with, usually because it will be ...



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