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4

I am not really understanding why you had to tear them apart. As far as I can read from your text they never did anything "bad" to each other, so one could expect the 17 year old to not suddenly do something to your daughter just because she is older. I totally understand that you need to assist your daughter here, the difference between 13 and 17 is too ...


-3

I'm going to tell you flat-out: Your daughter's been turned out. I don't know your parenting style, some parents try to be their kids friend instead of their parent. That's not me, and I know you mentioned that you're aware that's not your job right now anyway. How you approach this will either drive your daughter closer to you, or to her lover. The ...


11

Oh, the pain of first heartbreak! Bless you for being there for your daughter through all of this. The maturity level between 13 and 17 is so vast and I'm very glad the other girl agreed to back off rather than messing with your daughter's emotions; she sounds like she'll be a good friend down the road, once the dust has a chance to settle. If you don't ...


2

It appears there has been a complete erosion of respect, on both sides of this relationship. I highly recommend seeking outside, trained (be it pastoral care or professional) assistance in rebuilding a foundation of trust & respect. 13 is tough age to start this process, but it is doable. It will take time. I also suggest learning collaborative ...


2

Whatever you are doing is clearly not working. Doing more of the same will give more of the same result. If you have already taken everything from your daughter then she now has nothing to lose; this puts you in a position of weakness and makes the situation even more difficult. Perhaps what you need to a "reset" in your relationship with your daughters. ...


3

Raising a child is not a game of chess. There is not a "next move." When I was 12 was the last time I was spanked. It was by my mother. I couldn't help but laugh at her attempt. My very strong timber-faller stepdad then assaulted me by kicking and punching me. Do you know what lesson I learned? Despise him. 25 years later, that is the sum of my memory ...


1

Some of these are slightly tongue-in-cheek but I suspect the essence of your problem is that he just doesn't want to leave because he is comfortable at home. So - obviously - you must make staying less attractive. Pick any or all of the following: Stop feeding him - let him get his own meals. Buy food he doesn't like - in case he decides not to buy his ...


0

Alcohols...you mean a vodka ? Is nice ! I like ! Not... My parents let me taste in front of them once and I did not like the taste. So, I never stole alcohol from an easily accessible and always open cabinet. I never really felt the need for it. Moreover, I like to be alert and in control of my senses all the time. But that is just me. Many kids end up ...


4

The main reason she's on Facebook and Tumblr is to interact with her friends. How often do you have people over, or take her to visit her friends? Have you started teaching her to drive? Does she have any extracurricular activities where she gets to see friends? Also, complaining isn't going to improve her grades. Just make her associate you with annoying ...


2

Right now, your son doesn't have the life skills to succeed in the world, and you know that. That's why you can't tell him to leave. You know he'll be homeless on a street corner in a week, so what you need to do is get him ready. Cancel his credit card Make him get his own prepay cell phone plan Do not pay for anything he wants Drop him off at the ...


3

My guess the core issue is you are unwilling to accept him failing. This allows him to manipulate you into taking over his responsibility to make healthy choices. However since they were your choices, not his, he feels no obligation to fulfill these choices. I do not recommend an abrupt change*, since I suspect the son does not have the life skills right ...


0

Failing all of the other good advice listed above, that there are always the time-honored passive aggressive methods. You could take up the habit of being around the house completely naked, playing music you love that he hates loudly, instituting internet black-out hours via taking the modem with you to work (make sure you have an excuse for this "a coworker ...


0

I consider that he has not an abnormal child and understands everything. He goes to college and does whatever he wants. I also consider that you have already tried zillions of ways to make him understand and responsible. And I consider that all has ended in vain. Am I right? Well, if I'm right, there's only one way - separate him legally. Give him some ...


2

This sounds like a difficult situation, and indeed getting a psychologist (or similar) on board would help. However, I would suggest that you go yourself, instead of sending your son - and ask them the same question you asked here. A lot of counselling centers around how to assertively state your wishes and stay by them in a situation of disrupted family ...


7

I can understand that you want your son to leave, because he is not contributing to his own life or to your household. It sounds like he needs to grow up and accept some responsibilities! But I also think that your wanting him to leave seems to be only the tip of the iceberg. If he behaves as poorly as you suggest then I would guess that there are other ...


3

I agree with Shadow Wizard that talking is important. I think it is also important to let your boy know that porn, even in its more harmless variants, is not what making love looks like (and explain how it differs). Even I as a female accept that watching at porn is something what some people do, and (in my opinion) it's not necessarily bad, as long as ...


2

My son is only year old these days, but I can't deny I think about "those discussions" I'll have to make with him at some point, in the years to come. So here is what I would probably do. First of all, in the beginning of his puberty I will have "that discussion" with him, explaining about many things and probably mention porn as well. I don't think that ...


1

You need to talk to him, not just once, about the importance of respecting his own intimacy and otherĀ“s. Also, take some practical actions like not allowing computers or TVs in the bedrooms. Computers at home should be in places where everybody can watch over.


-1

You gotta talk to him. You won't be able to just outright block it - he'll find a way around it. The dangers of pornography on the teenage mind(and any mind for that matter) are well-documented. Pornography addiction is going to be a big issue for kids growing up now with the internet. Like you said, your son isn't addicted, but being aware of how addictive ...


2

Why do you want her to wear skirts of a certain length? That's very important for you to examine in this. You need to explain it to her (probably yet again) and then ask her what she thinks of your reasons and discuss why she feel they're not valid. She's 15, not 5 and should be able to articulate her thoughts or at least should start practicing doing so. ...


-2

Now I do self-emplyment IT jobs over the country. On my 19 I was already living on my own in another city and planning overseas work which I did for couple of months. In High School I had to earn my own money for parties, clothes etc. In my early years I had to save all money from relatives to buy a toy. Tell your son he's a sisy and boot him out of ...


3

19 years old ! This "kid" really needs a reality check. Some suggestions - Try to find out why he needs more. To impress girls, to fit in with the rich crowd etc. ? If those are the reasons behind his behavior, then explain why he should not spend money on those things. Tell him to get a job as short-term experiment and see how money does not literally ...


3

Get some really short skirts for yourself and muscle shirts for your husband. If wearing that at home doesn't work, try the nuclear option and wear it to pick her up at school. One more serious point that wasn't clear from your question, but that you've probably addressed when you talked to her: "Our rules" is not a good argument, but you should explain ...



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