Hot answers tagged teen
40
When legally adult children continue to live with their parents, they implicitly accept to live by the rules of the house because they are legally free to choose to move out and live by their own rules.
The times you mention seem on the conservative side to me. I'm sure your parents mean well but if you want to change things then I would start by figuring ...
26
You don't have nearly enough evidence to accuse him. You're also beyond the point where you can forbid him from doing something. You need to persuade him, and performing a search won't help with that.
Badmouthing his friends is also likely to backfire. His selection of friends is highly personal and the largest part of his identity right now. It would ...
25
I was brought up by a stepdad, and yes, "You are not my real dad" is an "ultimate defense" used to hurt, and only to hurt, when you feel wronged, and you feel you have no more arguments left to why you should not be allowed to do something/forced to do something. It's the equivalent of saying "You are stupid". He will not change his mind about how he feels ...
24
Well, I went the carrot/condom route with my daughter when she was 12, along with discussing the following:
Condoms are only effective when used properly. This means, no baby oil for lube, no vaseline or anything petroleum - as it will rot the rubber and cause it to break.
Insist that a condom is used! If he's not willing to see to your safety and health ...
20
No, this is not child abuse, this is parenting. This is you having to deal with the direct consequences of your own poor actions and bad decisions.
If things really happened the way you describe, then you owe your mother a very sincere apology, and you need to learn to not allow a disagreement with your brother to escalate to a point where you throw food ...
18
I've typically seen condom use demonstrated on (unpeeled) bananas, but I think @MichaelF's suggestion of a carrot is a better one. I'd even consider purchasing a ("regular" size) realistic-looking dildo, since what you lose in giggle factor you more than make up for with realism.
As for storage precautions, I'd point out that carrying a condom in a wallet ...
18
I found the suggestions on this website to be helpful:
Be sure your child knows you love him or her.A parent’s first response
should be to remind their child that you are there for them, and love
them, and support them. “I love you, you’re my kid,”
Reaffirm your values. If you do not feel that teens should have sex with other
teens, this is ...
18
Ransacking his room and invading his personal space may come back to haunt you, especially if he is hiding something. TRUST me, he will notice if you've searched his room and that may cause him to distance himself even further from you.
I would just casually confront him about it via discussing something you "saw on the news" recently relating to drug-use ...
17
It depends on why they are taking so much time in the bathroom. It could be that they are just enjoying the shower. Or they could be practicing different looks in front of the mirror. Or they could be enjoying the privacy of the bathroom - most teenagers don't have anywhere else that provides complete privacy with a locked door. Make sure they have those ...
15
At around the same age as your daughter, I was sent to a bad dentist who wouldn't believe me that the novacaine hadn't take effect, that I was in pain, in terrible distress, et cetera. For the next ten years I dealt with terrible dental phobia, to the point that I couldn't smile at myself in a mirror because I'd see my teeth.
Naturally, then, I'm in favor ...
14
I think my input on this matter should be quite useful, as I'm currently 17 (on the verge of 18, but that's irrelevant), and have done some drinking over the past year or so. My parents have no idea, or at least I assume they don't, and I don't intend for them to find out anytime soon, as I know I'll be punished to some extent. My father is an alcoholic, and ...
13
Every family will need to decide the age for wearing make-up for themselves.
It seems that marketers target, younger and younger children with beauty/make-up toys and products including glamour make-up dolls, "play" make-up and glamor photo shoots for very young children, and glamor magazines for preteens.
Perhaps rather than set a precise age, parents ...
13
The thing to worry about most is poor performance at school, only because that has the possibility of really cutting off her options in the future. One question you might ask yourself is why she isn't interested in other things. Rather than complain--which clearly isn't helping--do what you can to start a dialog. What is she getting out of facebook? Do her ...
12
Adolescent behaviour (the official term for teenage years) can start as young as 10, so I wouldn't worry that this is more than that, especially as that's going to be enough to deal with over the next 6-15 years (yes, it'll happily keep going into the mid-late 20's).
There are millions of lines of text on how to deal with teenage misbehaviour, from the ...
11
An adult who has been assaulted should consider calling the police. If for some reason that is not possible they should consider getting in touch with a local domestic violence helpline.
A young adult who has been assaulted in a house where there are other younger children who are also at risk of violence should strongly consider calling either the police; ...
11
"My rules or get out" is not a good way to teach children to compromise (and we hear that rhetoric so often when being critical of how a country is run, where this is learned I see clearly now..) or negotiate with other adults. You risk casting your children to the wolves, and I've seen friends devoured.
In this case, you should be able to calmly sit down ...
11
Well... while publicly yelling might have been a bit harsh, I don't think it counts as child abuse per se.
She might even be somewhat justified. You got into a fight with your younger brother, threw ketchup around (really?), damaged other people's property, and publicly embarrassed your mother.
Try maintaining your cool next time, and act as a better role ...
11
Are they explicitly saying this, or are you assuming they're implying it, because you're in a 2 bedroom house?
I can only speak for the US, so YMMV, but legally speaking, housing supports up to two people per room. In your situation this means that they can give you a 2 bedroom place and tell you to deal with it, but they can't give you a 1 bedroom place. ...
10
You do not realize how lucky you are to have x box, iPod, and cell. Thank you mother for these.
There are people who cannot afford the ketchup.
You already made yourself look bad in public by throwing the ketchup. You need to rethink the incident and understand that you were at fault.
Your mother will be a better mother when she teaches both of you how ...
10
You might want to find a psychiatrist, rather than a straight general practitioner. They will be better equipped to determine if there's a chemical problem, an interaction issue, both, neither, etc. It sounds like you have about ten years of an established cycle of behavior that will be hard to break, and I'm not sure it can be solved as easily as a few ...
10
I don't think this is the "norm" per se. Neither of my prom dates ever asked my parents permission to take me to prom.
But I don't think that it's necessarily accurate to say you have no say in the matter whatsoever. I would be nervous about my 16-year-old daughter going to prom with some boy I had never met/didn't know. If you expect her would-be date ...
9
Ah, the arrogance of youth.
I remember going through a similar phase. My parents seemed like idiots when I was in high school. They just didn't get it. But as I got older, they got smarter.
I have some thoughts ...
Parents need to be clear about the difference between being a parent and being a friend. When the choice must be made, choose parent. ...
9
This sounds like fairly common behavior for a boy that age.
In fact, it sounds an awful lot like me at around 13-14.
It may just be that he is testing boundaries, or it may be that he genuinely has an issue with doing his homework.
The first step I'd suggest is finding out why he hasn't been doing his homework. Is he bored? Is it too tough? Does he ...
9
From my experience growing up bilingual, the problem won't be that your kids don't want you to speak the "foreign" language, but that they will refuse to speak the "foreign" language. (The fact that you will do uncool things is a given: you're the parent, anything you do is by definition uncool.)
The only way to counteract this is to build up a good ...
8
As someone who was adopted at four my advice is to ask why the child feels that way, does he feel you are treating him differently than any other child in your family? And then ask what exactly constitues being a "real father". Then I would explain the best you can that you are his real father, you are the one raising him, you took the legal and financial ...
8
Another approach is to ask why you wouldn't allow your daughter to wear make-up, as social stigmas around make-up use are largely generational. That also means that what worked for your mother, what worked for you, and what will work for your daughter don't have to be similar at all. Make-up has a number of different varieties and applications, and these ...
8
The primary thing here has to be your daughter's welfare. If you and the mother have an actively hostile relationship, then you need to shield her from it as much as possible. When you spend time with her, avoid all mention of her mother, except in a supportive context (e.g. if she's complaining about her mum, remind her that her mother loves her, and ...
8
In general, I would do the same thing to an 18 year old as any of my kids. They gradually get more freedom to set their own bed time, computer usage, etc, until they are sleeping in, not getting things done, etc. If they blow it, then they are on a tight schedule (For some time, I was sending them to bed at 1900, because they were having serious problems ...
8
What you describe sounds a lot like me when I was a teenager about a decade ago. Long story short, I've never done drugs.
I had a terrible sleep schedule, and I still do. It wasn't so much that I was doing anything important or bad as it was that I was on MSN talking to friends (some of whom lived in Japan), or playing Starcraft. As a result I'd often take ...
7
I just found a funny one :) i am 15 myself, so i know this one will be good :)
WHO'S NEXT DOOR?
If you are in a traffic queue making up stories about the people in the car nearby can be funny for a short while ie what their names are, what they do for a job, what their hobbies are, what pets they have, what their house is like etc etc. This tends to only ...
Only top voted, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible
