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3

An obvious solution is to move the date or time of the party to not conflict with an event that is very important to a large portion of invitees (and which they do NOT have the option to reschedule). If you don't want to change the party time, then perhaps you should consider whether it's a priority for your son's party guest list to exactly coincide with ...


2

I would think it much better to plan for a birthday party on a weekend when there isn't a big tournament to play in or watch. Does it really matter if the birthday is celebrated on the exact day? Give the kid a choice. Perhaps he would rather have four of his closest friends and some family at a time when it is good for all than be responsible for ...


4

There we agreed to make sure that everybody prioritized class events in order to do our best to get a good class. No, you didn't agree. It is possible that no one spoke out against this suggestion when it was made, but that is probably mostly due to an intense social pressure in the situation. Can you imagine someone in the situation saying: "I don't ...


26

To me, this sounds like much ado about nothing. Your son needs to learn how to socialize and how to make friends; sounds like he's done that already, so that's not your problem. So what is your problem? The fact that some kids aren't coming to a birthday party? Sounds like a good opportunity for a conversation with your son about the real world. ...


4

A possible option, if you can manage to get it going on such short notice, is having the birthday party as an afterparty to the tournament. I don't know if you can find a place near the tournament grounds that can handle so many kids on such short notice though.


14

If you DO make an issue out of it, what will be the result? Will the other 10 families start to consider everyone else in their priorities and scheduling, or will they apologize and keep right on with what they're doing? It's apparent they feel that having their children participate in soccer is a higher priority than having their children participate in ...


2

Which notice came first? Did parents know about the tournament before the birthday party or vice-versa? If the tournament was known about first, it should have priority. If the opposite, then it's iffy. If you do make a big deal about it and the kids are, in a sense, forced to give up watching soccer, a sport they enjoy, they may end up resenting your son. ...


0

There are lots of great answers here about alternative activities and I agree that those should be explored. Just to provide a different perspective, I'm definitely a nerd and I love team sports, mostly because I get great exercise without thinking about all the running I'm doing :) I can also geek out on basketball because I know it from all the angles ...


8

Speaking as a former teen-aged geek, here's a few things that have worked for (and on me - thanks Mom and Dad! :) ) Organized sports are kinda hit-and-miss for a geek (esp. if it's not their interest). Teen years are rough to start with. And some people don't get "runner's high", so they lose the reinforcement that keeps some of those solo sports going. ...


0

If you are noticing those changes in his chest, first you should check out for something called 'gynecomastia' and make sure that it is NOT that. That's to rule out something which is very necessary. Now the 'activeness' problem. Well, if a kid does not like any sport, they won't play it for sure. If you force, it'll make no sense. Also, remember that not ...


3

As your goal is physical activity and he seems averse to sport, perhaps you should consider non-sport things that you could do together. Doing things as a family activity takes away the competitive element and also the need to excel or get better at something. Go camping or fishing. Go hiking. Go to nerdy conventions and scour the exhibit hall (miles of ...


5

As a former nerdy kid, I'd say that group sports, with their tendency to be full of cliques and popularity contests, were very hard for me. I've always been more at ease with biking, hiking and cross-country skiing - activities that did not depend so much on skill, that were pretty much individual in nature, and that weren't overly competitive. Many geeks I ...


2

Even if he's a beginner, you should be able to find him a way to ramp up his skills and learn the sport. Maybe check with your local gym to see if there's a coach that can get him started on the basics before the upcoming season. Also, this isn't a DIRECT answer to your question, but giving his proclivities it popped in my head: what if you game-ify his ...



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