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27

The simple answer, although I suspect it is the answer you don't want to hear, is that you need to limit your son's exposure to your friend's daughter, and make sure that the interactions are supervised (by you, not just your friend!). I have to admit I'm not familiar with the "Conscious and Peaceful Parenting Approach", but this has all the earmarks of ...


18

As a general rule of thumb, if there is a parent / baby sitter / caregiver present I try and let them take care of matters, using the lower end of my interpretation of generally accepted behavior as the yard stick for when to interfere. If I do think I have to interfere I'll address the child, not the parent. This usually helps. If that rubs the parent the ...


15

My daughter is 16 months (the "terrible twos" begin in the second year of life, remember) and we've always been conscious about discouraging, politely but firmly, any behaviors that cause physical injury. She may not understand all of the words we say, but a firm "no" is pretty well-ingrained as a signal that she's about to get plunked in her crib for 15 ...


13

I've found that children generally are deferential to adults who aren't their relatives or friends. So be friendly and don't be scared to engage with them. I've found if children are hogging stuff, if you say: "Hey there can my kid have a go on this, it looks cool?" will usually result in them moving along to something else, or showing you and your kid how ...


12

I hear a couple different things here, so I will approach them 1 at a time. First, your girl... News flash: ready? She's 3. 3 year olds don't know much about anything, let alone how to effectively defend themselves to a bully. So that's where parents come in. Most adults don't even know how to effectively handle a bully. She likely can't even remember ...


11

Your friend is being inconsistent. Her daughter doesn't like having her hand restrained? Does she think perhaps your son enjoys being hit? Talk about "violates bodily boundaries"! It's true that toddlers will naturally hit and bite. One of the roles of a parent is to intervene and to teach other ways of expressing feelings. Without that help, a toddler can ...


10

Honestly, in my opinion, get a babysitter for things like a theater outing. Or give up theater night. A theater is no place for a child, much less one of such a young age. Children at that age don't understand reasoning and logic yet, so they can't understand why they need to be quiet, despite their extreme boredom and frustration. Children need attention ...


9

If you don't feel comfortable interfering here, either because you think you're going to rage out or because you don't see any possible positive outcome, then avoid the place altogether. Instead, I would find similar places that have more supervision, or if wherever you live has limited children's activities, go with a bunch of friends who have kids about ...


7

My view is that it is my responsibility to protect and to teach my child. I have been in the situation you've described, faced with the results of the rather permissive parenting style of your friend. I stopped the younger child hitting my son, saying out loud that hitting is wrong and saying to my child that to respond with violence is also wrong. ...


7

I agree with Beofett. This particular parenting style seems to be the latest fad among some groups of parents--one of my sisters-in-law happens to be one of those parents. She makes excuses for her sons' behaviors explaining them as "developmentally appropriate" and making little to no attempt to discipline her kids even when their behavior is obviously ...


7

The following portions of this answer are aimed at helping mom get some social time too(this helps to set a good example, plus even homebody's such as myself need time away from time to time anyway): You might try determining a night or two each month for her to endeavor in an area she would like to "try." She has her career in hand, but has there ever ...


6

Life's most difficult choices aren't between something good and something bad, but between something good and something better. Being able to decide which good activities to say no to is a useful skill to impart to your daughter. There are always good reasons to add one more thing to your plate. The trick is to look at the big picture and recognize when ...


6

We did this for my son on his 3rd birthday and most recently for his 4th birthday and he definitely had a blast. My son goes to childcare 4 days a week and he had a great time playing with his friends. On his second birthday we only had close friends and family and he was definitely too small to have close social bonds with his friends to have a large ...


4

Somewhere we read this guideline for small kids' parties, and we've found it a pretty good rule of thumb: Limit the party to one friend per year of age. A child turning one can have fun with one friend and a few parents/relatives, but they aren't social enough to appreciate or enjoy a larger group, and things can get overwhelming. As kids get older it's ...


4

As the extremely asocial mom of the most socially capable ten year old in town, I will expand on one particular part of what balanced mama said: join a local playgroup, preferably one that meets once a week. See if your town has a family association that sponsors one; ask at the library; ask moms you see at the playground. Having a once a week play date ...


3

I had great success taking my kids to the local park. As regular visitors to the park, we would see some families repeatedly. I watched for kids who had a similar temperament to my children, and as our kids played together or side-by-side, I would chat with the mother. There was no commitment to make - unlike with a mothers' group - or expense involved. Over ...


3

The mum of this child blames my son such as stating that he should learn to assert and defend himself. (...) This is why I suggested to my son that he should gently hold the girl’s hand and firmly say “NO”/“STOP”. My friend is not happy with this and has told him to stop it as this then violates her daughter’s bodily boundaries (...) Then what on ...


3

It is very hard to deal with undisciplined children, especially when they have disciplining parents. A few suggestions: Speak to the parent privately and give suggestions. Demonstrate good parenting at all times. Teach your child to remove themselves from the situation. Teach your child, and this is a big one in our family, that different children have ...


2

Different approaches may apply in different cultures. But is there any reason not to have a small party and a fuss starting with the 1st birthday? Family will definitely want to be involved and most infants will enjoy the attention and they will enjoy observing the excitement in the faces of the adults around them. Not so many adults that the child is made ...


2

First of all, as a former teacher, in regard to the chaperoning situation I would say, When you are the chaperone your rule rules. Before going, everyone should be clear about what the rules and expectations are, but "when in Rome" applies here. If you use corporal punishment (which, based on other postings here I doubt, but if you do, make sure other ...


2

We just had my son's third birthday party at a Little-Gym-type place, with his friends from school and family. He had a great time, but certainly wouldn't have noticed the difference if we baked him a cake and sang "Happy Birthday" in the house. Four or five is probably a better age to throw a party that will make an impact. Any younger, it's really more ...


2

It's hard to give a definite solution. If you can subtly get on to the subject (maybe she'll bring it up) of this problem, perhaps advise your daughter to shout 'go away' when someone does something like that. I did advise my son to do that, and admittedly he got a little carried away with it, but I found it better than not doing anything. As for ...


2

Toddlers Throw Tantrums and Are Just Noisy The kid's 1.5yo, of course he's noisy, even on a good day. They speak loudly, they interrupt people, and they want to share what they think at what adults would consider inappropriate moments. He doesn't know yet all the social boundaries that adults would consider "normal". Plus at this age, of course they'll ...


2

My inclination is no. Her schedule seems extremely busy and it makes me wonder: Does she have any free time to play? Does she have any time to be a kid? Team sports are incredibly important for social skills, as you indicate, but something would gave to be dropped. I must say that dropping swimming before she can swim doesn't seem all that smart – I come ...


1

Play dates and church activities are one way to go. Both parents and children get to mix and play dates are good if you'll aren't very social in groups. Enrolling them in a regular activity like sports or drama or a craft class might be a good idea too and fun for your kids. Organizing a carpool would also be useful. Generally when you have kids its easy ...


1

For my kids, who are also multilingual, it helped having a Wii. Other kids that age didn't have one (actually the Wii was ours), so it was pretty cool to come and play with them. After a little while, everybody is happy to move on and play outside or with other toys. From what you say, it looks like your kid is still learning english. Be patient, it takes ...


1

Why should a toddler remain quiet all day? They are learning to use their mouths and explore the world. They have little need/understanding of social norms to keep quiet in the theater - see @ChristopherW's answer for how to handle that. It's kind of worrying when you see someone asking "how can I make a child to do what I want them to do instead of what ...


1

I've never been shy about "helping" other parents out when what they're doing (or more often what they're not doing) isn't working. I've found that typically if you get on to another parents child, one of two things will happen: The child will run off and whine to their parents about you chastising them. The parent will come over, give you dirty looks, and ...


1

I'd leave and find somewhere else and other groups of people to play with. We're lucky to have places to go where we meat other conscious and reasonable parents so we don't experience this sort of thing often, but when we do we stay close and leave as soon as we can basically. However fun it seems, it's not worth it. A side effect of "depriving" your ...


1

For the first three years we did family parties, with a large extended family there are fewer chances of boredom as there is usually someone to play with. After we got to pre-school and started having playdates the birthday parties started and these were often kid only affairs, separate from a family party. Now we do the kid's party and then the family ...



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