Tag Info

Hot answers tagged

29

The simple answer, although I suspect it is the answer you don't want to hear, is that you need to limit your son's exposure to your friend's daughter, and make sure that the interactions are supervised (by you, not just your friend!). I have to admit I'm not familiar with the "Conscious and Peaceful Parenting Approach", but this has all the earmarks of ...


18

As a general rule of thumb, if there is a parent / baby sitter / caregiver present I try and let them take care of matters, using the lower end of my interpretation of generally accepted behavior as the yard stick for when to interfere. If I do think I have to interfere I'll address the child, not the parent. This usually helps. If that rubs the parent the ...


15

My daughter is 16 months (the "terrible twos" begin in the second year of life, remember) and we've always been conscious about discouraging, politely but firmly, any behaviors that cause physical injury. She may not understand all of the words we say, but a firm "no" is pretty well-ingrained as a signal that she's about to get plunked in her crib for 15 ...


14

I've found that children generally are deferential to adults who aren't their relatives or friends. So be friendly and don't be scared to engage with them. I've found if children are hogging stuff, if you say: "Hey there can my kid have a go on this, it looks cool?" will usually result in them moving along to something else, or showing you and your kid how ...


13

I hear a couple different things here, so I will approach them 1 at a time. First, your girl... News flash: ready? She's 3. 3 year olds don't know much about anything, let alone how to effectively defend themselves to a bully. So that's where parents come in. Most adults don't even know how to effectively handle a bully. She likely can't even remember ...


12

Your friend is being inconsistent. Her daughter doesn't like having her hand restrained? Does she think perhaps your son enjoys being hit? Talk about "violates bodily boundaries"! It's true that toddlers will naturally hit and bite. One of the roles of a parent is to intervene and to teach other ways of expressing feelings. Without that help, a toddler can ...


10

Honestly, in my opinion, get a babysitter for things like a theater outing. Or give up theater night. A theater is no place for a child, much less one of such a young age. Children at that age don't understand reasoning and logic yet, so they can't understand why they need to be quiet, despite their extreme boredom and frustration. Children need attention ...


9

If you don't feel comfortable interfering here, either because you think you're going to rage out or because you don't see any possible positive outcome, then avoid the place altogether. Instead, I would find similar places that have more supervision, or if wherever you live has limited children's activities, go with a bunch of friends who have kids about ...


8

The following portions of this answer are aimed at helping mom get some social time too(this helps to set a good example, plus even homebody's such as myself need time away from time to time anyway): You might try determining a night or two each month for her to endeavor in an area she would like to "try." She has her career in hand, but has there ever ...


8

My view is that it is my responsibility to protect and to teach my child. I have been in the situation you've described, faced with the results of the rather permissive parenting style of your friend. I stopped the younger child hitting my son, saying out loud that hitting is wrong and saying to my child that to respond with violence is also wrong. ...


8

I agree with Beofett. This particular parenting style seems to be the latest fad among some groups of parents--one of my sisters-in-law happens to be one of those parents. She makes excuses for her sons' behaviors explaining them as "developmentally appropriate" and making little to no attempt to discipline her kids even when their behavior is obviously ...


8

I'd say when he's able to answer questions like "Who are your friends?", "Who do you like to play with?", "Who would you like to invite to your birthday party?".


7

The fears you mention create a high-pressure situation for a teen, so your first goal should be to reduce pressure. Many young men do not socialize easily with girls until they are in their 20s. Make sure your son realizes that he will gradually get more comfortable with it in his own time. There is such a huge difference between the high school social scene ...


6

We did this for my son on his 3rd birthday and most recently for his 4th birthday and he definitely had a blast. My son goes to childcare 4 days a week and he had a great time playing with his friends. On his second birthday we only had close friends and family and he was definitely too small to have close social bonds with his friends to have a large ...


6

Life's most difficult choices aren't between something good and something bad, but between something good and something better. Being able to decide which good activities to say no to is a useful skill to impart to your daughter. There are always good reasons to add one more thing to your plate. The trick is to look at the big picture and recognize when ...


5

As the extremely asocial mom of the most socially capable ten year old in town, I will expand on one particular part of what balanced mama said: join a local playgroup, preferably one that meets once a week. See if your town has a family association that sponsors one; ask at the library; ask moms you see at the playground. Having a once a week play date ...


5

The thing to do is not teach him to be wary of people, but of behaviors. Most of the bad things that happen to children are perpetrated by people they know. Children and adults both benefit from interactions with each other. It's a shame that this rich source of learning is so often stifled. What we teach our children to watch out for is adults who: ...


4

Somewhere we read this guideline for small kids' parties, and we've found it a pretty good rule of thumb: Limit the party to one friend per year of age. A child turning one can have fun with one friend and a few parents/relatives, but they aren't social enough to appreciate or enjoy a larger group, and things can get overwhelming. As kids get older it's ...


3

It's hard to give a definite solution. If you can subtly get on to the subject (maybe she'll bring it up) of this problem, perhaps advise your daughter to shout 'go away' when someone does something like that. I did advise my son to do that, and admittedly he got a little carried away with it, but I found it better than not doing anything. As for ...


3

The mum of this child blames my son such as stating that he should learn to assert and defend himself. (...) This is why I suggested to my son that he should gently hold the girl’s hand and firmly say “NO”/“STOP”. My friend is not happy with this and has told him to stop it as this then violates her daughter’s bodily boundaries (...) Then what on ...


3

I had great success taking my kids to the local park. As regular visitors to the park, we would see some families repeatedly. I watched for kids who had a similar temperament to my children, and as our kids played together or side-by-side, I would chat with the mother. There was no commitment to make - unlike with a mothers' group - or expense involved. Over ...


3

It is very hard to deal with undisciplined children, especially when they have disciplining parents. A few suggestions: Speak to the parent privately and give suggestions. Demonstrate good parenting at all times. Teach your child to remove themselves from the situation. Teach your child, and this is a big one in our family, that different children have ...


3

First of all, as a former teacher, in regard to the chaperoning situation I would say, When you are the chaperone your rule rules. Before going, everyone should be clear about what the rules and expectations are, but "when in Rome" applies here. If you use corporal punishment (which, based on other postings here I doubt, but if you do, make sure other ...


2

Different approaches may apply in different cultures. But is there any reason not to have a small party and a fuss starting with the 1st birthday? Family will definitely want to be involved and most infants will enjoy the attention and they will enjoy observing the excitement in the faces of the adults around them. Not so many adults that the child is made ...


2

We just had my son's third birthday party at a Little-Gym-type place, with his friends from school and family. He had a great time, but certainly wouldn't have noticed the difference if we baked him a cake and sang "Happy Birthday" in the house. Four or five is probably a better age to throw a party that will make an impact. Any younger, it's really more ...


2

I've never been shy about "helping" other parents out when what they're doing (or more often what they're not doing) isn't working. I've found that typically if you get on to another parents child, one of two things will happen: The child will run off and whine to their parents about you chastising them. The parent will come over, give you dirty looks, and ...


2

Toddlers Throw Tantrums and Are Just Noisy The kid's 1.5yo, of course he's noisy, even on a good day. They speak loudly, they interrupt people, and they want to share what they think at what adults would consider inappropriate moments. He doesn't know yet all the social boundaries that adults would consider "normal". Plus at this age, of course they'll ...


2

My inclination is no. Her schedule seems extremely busy and it makes me wonder: Does she have any free time to play? Does she have any time to be a kid? Team sports are incredibly important for social skills, as you indicate, but something would gave to be dropped. I must say that dropping swimming before she can swim doesn't seem all that smart – I come ...


2

There are more than a few studies done on the growth of grade school children in terms of their impact on social and academic success. Just a quick google brought these up: "The Influence of Social Networking Participation on Student Academic Performance Across Gender Lines" "Is Growing Up in the Digital Age Preparing Elementary School Children for ...


1

I find iPhone to be quite indispensable with kids sometimes. There are great picture book apps that a toddler would enjoy



Only top voted, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible