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30

When confronted with these issues for the first time, we asked ourselves these questions: Can we afford to have everything all our peers have? If not, when and how did we learn to not to let this bring us down? Do we calculate our self-esteem depending on whether we can buy the same things our peers do? Seeing some of the things their peers have, do we ...


20

Like the others, I disagree that you should buying your child "everything". But I feel there is an important distinction other answers don't bring to the point, although some skirt it. When your children asks for something "everybody has", ask yourself: is it a status symbol, or a tool prerequisite for participating in an activity common among its peers? ...


17

I think that money is not the most important factor here. I think that the reason the children usually have these costly toys (and I mean toys, since most kids do little more than play on them) like smartphones, laptops, tablets, PSPs, etc. is not because their parents care about them; it's often because they actually neglect them. The device is not ...


10

As a young adult (19) I think it would be good for me to input in this conversation as a child of this generation. I would first like to explain my background. My parents were/are pretty low income (£10,000 a year) so during school i often did not have a lot of what the other kids had. For example my trainers weren't the newest, it took 2 years after the ...


9

When I first read this question, the first word that came to my mind was bullying. You're in a kind of "damned if you do, damned if you don't" position here, and you need to choose 1) what's really best for your kids, and 2) what heartache you want to face. First, do you have the means, and live a lifestyle, that allows you to give your child everything ...


8

My brother and I share a birthday, 3 years apart (by coincidence, not by our parents' choice). With all due respect to those saying that neither child gets their "special day," I can attest that sharing a birthday with a sibling, particularly one close in age, does not make either birthday less valuable. Both kids will grow up accepting that their shared ...


4

My two boy's B-days are 3 days apart and my wife's & daughters's are 1 day apart. I recommend not using the same day. We make a big deal out of a B-day and the kids really enjoy having their own special day just for themselves. I think they wouldn't like to share this. Even one day apart works just fine. As other people said: Concerns for mother & ...


3

On the same day or within a week, odds are the birthday parties are going to be complicated in any event. How often will the nearest weekend be the same day? And then when you add in external activities it's even more likely they may have to be on/near each other (if it's in May, Soccer/etc. will often drive when you decide to hold the party). I think ...


3

Your child is going to learn how to face the world based on how you face the world. For example, did you buy an iPad because everyone else has one or because it was a tool to use? Do you buy a particular shirt because it has a logo on it or because that was an appropriate shirt? Do you buy a particular pair of shoes because they say "Nike" or because ...


3

The key is to make independent evaluations of the value to your child. What other parents are buying or giving in on shouldn't be your deciding factor at all. Marketing is driven by peer pressure and the attitude of "keeping up with the Joneses" will teach your children bad financial practices and set them up for an inability to succeed well in life as it ...


2

What did her doctor say? Selective Mutism is an anxiety disorder. It's not rare - about 1 in 150 children will have selective mutism. You need to see a doctor, and make sure that you persist in getting help even if the initial doctor says your daughter will grow out of it. Treatment should focus on behavioural therapies and cognitive behavioural therapy. ...


1

In the delivery room where I had my babies, there was a sign; "You don't need to rear kids, they just copy everything you do." (Without making a judgement on this) if you are the sort of person to whom possession of status symbols is important, then your kids will be too. Period. If you can say "I don't need a new X because the old X is still working", ...


1

First off congratulations for putting some thought into all the facets of the issue. I haven't read the other comments before offering this, so I am not sure of any other similar experiences. My late father and I shared the same birthday and my two children were born a calendar day apart, two years apart (i.e. our daughter's birthday 'gift' was a day old ...


1

If you haven't experienced a shared birthday, it's hard to reason or explain about it. Certainly having birthdays just a few days apart has most of the same problems, yet without the "cachet" of the exact same day. I know two pairs of children in this boat: one pair is 4 years apart and one is 7 years apart (and those two were both adopted, which makes it ...



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