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71

I can't see that it's healthy for the kids. I absolutely agree. This is a major problem, as your kids need to look up to you as an authority figure, and that will be very difficult if she's constantly undercutting your authority. Is this simply my total lack of understanding of what grandparents are for (as mine were distant to say the least) or ...


52

Welcome to the "Terrible Two's"! Your son behaves typically for his age. At 2 he starts to assert himself and express his demands. It's likely that he has also learned that he gets his way when he throws a tantrum. For a 2-year old screaming, hitting or even biting is a normal way to express his anger - at least he will try and every success reinforces ...


31

Whether she realises it consciously or not, she is directly undermining and interfering with your ability to parent your children. She is not their parent, nor their legal guardian, and has no right to do that. How you handle this depends on whether it's just you and the kids, or you and your wife with the kids, when she is present. When you're with your ...


27

Luckily young children get something of a "pass" when it comes to social awkwardness since the world by-and-large understands what it's like to be a child. I wouldn't go out of my way to downplay the situation. As a parent, your primary responsibility is in teaching the kid, not distracting him or otherwise quashing the social embarrassment. Most people ...


25

To directly answer your question: if the topic comes up a potentially good answer would be "well my father/husband passed away a long time ago". The "a long time ago" basically indicates that this is in the past and has no immediate bearing on the present. It also indicates that the case is closed and you don't want to discuss this further. Most people will ...


22

In a related question, a user linked this article. It might be relevant to your concerns about the social implications of home schooling. However, if your child enjoys his current school, then I would suggest simply adding in in-home supplemental education. Allow your child to pick subjects (or suggest a list of possible subjects, if you'd like), and do ...


20

In summary, research findings to date might suggest a correlation between television viewing and developmental problems, but they cannot show causality. There is no evidence that television, even educational programming, has any positive effect on children younger than 2 years old. In fact, some studies suggest it may be harmful. According to the above ...


18

First of all, recognize there is a difference between having a favorite, and engaging in favoritism. I think having a favorite is somewhat unavoidable, unless your children all happen to have personalities that mesh equally well with yours. When having a favorite becomes problematic is when you let it affect your words and actions toward your children. ...


17

Mothers do what fathers do: love their children unconditionally and raise them to be independent, happy contributing members of society. My husband and I have different approaches towards the kids, but those are much more based on personality and background than gender. We both love our kids to death and show them that every day, and we both try to teach ...


17

shouts at me in front of them... Ask her to leave. Don't even wait for your wife to get home. It's healthy for your children to see how you're able to handle such situations with cool and determination. And of course, you can let her stay if she apologizes and if you feel she is genuinely remorseful. That being said, I have feeling you're not telling ...


16

I was a "gifted" kid growing up in a place where there wasn't much for me. I made it my mission for awhile after that to learn as much about gifted education as I could. There's only so much that traditional formal education can do for a really bright kid: traditional educational models are heavily rote, which is anathema to the active gifted mind. To ...


15

When all else fails, they can fall back on a version of Miss Manner's timeless response, "I'm sorry, that's just not possible." In this case, something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I don't want to talk about it," or "This subject is still painful for me, can we talk about something else?" might be useful. Don't expect everyone to have manners and not ...


15

You recognize already that this is a developmental issue. It takes time, work, and maturity to develop. In addition, I think what you are describing is more than an appreciation issue. It can also be about control. A five-year-old has very little control in her life - she doesn't get to choose how the money is spent, what time she goes to bed, what she ...


14

When you are talking about babies and toddlers, bullying is a lot simpler than it can be with older children. At this age, it's pretty much one of three scenarios: Someone taught the child bullying behavior. If the child's parents encourage the behavior, it's unlikely you'll be able to un-teach it. Better to just stop spending time with that family. If ...


14

Definitely don't let it slide, but also don't overreact. We used a consistent timeout policy (warning, ultimatum, timeout) with our teenager when he was younger, and despite the fact that he cusses like there is no tomorrow with his friends now, he will almost never cuss in front of us. With our four younger kids, all under 6yo, we also use a consistent ...


13

The biggest problem with the whole system is that it's categorized as two opposing sides, when, in reality, most people agree with some points on both sides. I would simply explain specific issues in as neutral a way as possible: "Some people believe X for these reasons, and other people believe Y for these other reasons." If you try to cover the ...


13

It sounds like you are trying to provide an objective definition to a subjective characterization. In point of fact, your definition as-is seems rather bias-heavy, simply because the meaning of "left" and "right" are so subjective. For example, you characterize "right" as believing that the government should stay out of people's lives as much as possible, ...


13

Disclaimer: I have a daughter, so I usually refer to "the child" as a she. I don't mean to offend anyone, I just think typing "he or she" everywhere is silly. Teaching Politics to a Ten-Year Old: Define Politics I would say the first thing is to explain what "politics" is. You have a set of issues, and a set of people who have an opinion on those issues. ...


13

Well, formally speaking, I'm not in a parenting role but am gifted myself (16 y/o, from Israel). Just thought I'd give some input from my experience in that age. In the third grade I was accepted into a special program for gifted children at my school, where we learned all the subjects at a quicker pace but that wasn't the great part. The great part was that ...


13

I think its also proper to set expectations, many 2 year olds while they "play" tend to do so in parallel not with a lot of interaction. So you may want to be careful in what you expect, so you don't see something that is not there. Significant change is also something to aware of, as Torben notes, and will definitely influence young children who have ...


13

I hear a couple different things here, so I will approach them 1 at a time. First, your girl... News flash: ready? She's 3. 3 year olds don't know much about anything, let alone how to effectively defend themselves to a bully. So that's where parents come in. Most adults don't even know how to effectively handle a bully. She likely can't even remember ...


11

Some of the main proponents of attachment theory, which is a theory of how children develop a relationship with their primary caregiver and how that impacts their relationships throughout the rest of their life, are generally opposed to daycare, as described in this article. If you look into attachment theory and daycare you will find more information from ...


9

For me, the answer depends on the age of the child. Younger Children For a child who is, say, 3 years old or under, just ignoring it is a best practice. At that point, if they don't get a reaction, they probably won't use those words again. Another technique at that age is to morph what they've said into a different word. If they say "fuck" for example, ...


9

From my own experience moving 6 times as a child, and talking to others about their childhood moves, I would say the earlier you relocate, the better. Socially, in general other children are less accepting of outsiders the older they get. This is especially true if you're moving somewhere with a visibly different culture or accent. My wife moved from ...


9

I can imagine that he's feeling uneasy at being moved from his grandma and dropped into full-time daycare that abruptly. Usually, you'd start daycare just a few hours a day and gradually increase to full time. I understand that with evebody working full-time as well, it's hard or impossible to provide a transition phase. I think two weeks is not enough ...


9

As an adult you may be comfortable saying, "It's not something I like to talk about," but this will be a harder line for your children to say and stick to when pressed. You might suggest to them to say, "He had some health issues I don't really understand." This is the truth, as someone who commits suicide has serious mental health issues and no one can ...


9

First of all, I would act in this conflict and not let it be. The reason is this truth: If your Mother In Law came to any other house, she would behave like a guest and not as if she owned the place. So, she chooses to behave differently with you, and it is her judgement that she has a right to behave like this. I'd act because I disagree with that ...


8

The simple answer to your question is to only give and allow gifts to be given on special occasions. However, there is a reason we give gifts: it strengthens our relationships (this link is interesting commentary on the subject). There is much pleasure to be gained in the giving, probably more than in the receiving. Why would we want to restrict spreading ...


8

First, just let me say, I know how devastating a brain tumor is because one of my childhood best friends has one. It has been removed and she is still there but communication is difficult and she gets really frustrated and sad frequently. It looks as though it is on the re-bound unfortunately too. So, the communication abilities she has regained are ...


8

In psychology we were taught that imaginary friends are very common from ages 3 through 7, and they occur in ~65% cases (both for boys and girls), so that is nothing extraordinary that one should worry about. However, we were also taught it is important for the child to distinguish between the reality and their imaginary friends. It is healthy if those ...



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