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59

I'm an autistic adult, the parent of an autistic adult, and a teacher of autistic children. The reason your daughter laughs when you're really angry with her is because your anger is frightening her. This might seem counter-intuitive to the neurotypical mind, until one considers that neurotypical laughter is frequently in response to someone being hurt, ...


57

It's so hard for parents when their children start to pull away. We may be parents, but we are also human beings. It hurts, even when we try not to show it. We question ourselves and if we are doing things "right". I remember when my oldest boy (he is now 20) stopped wanting to go to the movies with me. I was very upset; it was "our thing". It was an ...


53

You are in a tough situation. Having to share parenting with someone you hate is very difficult. And whenever anyone upsets your child, it's natural to want to prevent that. Let me make some suggestions for you. first, no hitting - I am presuming that "pop our son top make him hush" means hitting. That has to stop. It doesn't work, it makes the crying ...


34

UPDATE: This is apparently affecting my dad so much that he's thinking about quitting work, and he's the only source of income. I need some step-by-step instructions on how to do this before it's too late. There is no step-by-step way to make someone feel better whom you've hurt. But here's some basic steps. Understand why what you said was unfair ...


22

As a male who previously worked customer service for feminine care products, I think I might be able to provide some advice here. Get familiar with the different feminine hygiene brands. Assuming you are in the US, that's Kotex, Always, Stayfree, Tampax, Playtex, etc. Don't just assume that having the talk is the end of it. There will be an adjustment ...


20

Mothers do what fathers do: love their children unconditionally and raise them to be independent, happy contributing members of society. My husband and I have different approaches towards the kids, but those are much more based on personality and background than gender. We both love our kids to death and show them that every day, and we both try to teach ...


20

I won't answer everything (short version - I think you're doing the right thing on most levels). Do NOT badmouth the ex in front of the son. You made a very wise choice! For one thing, it won't really help you long term. Second, it may cause damage to his own self-image as a man long term. For another, if you ever meet a man you want to be involved with ...


19

It is concerning that he said that, but it may or may not actually mean that he's depressed, let alone suicidal. It's safe to assume that your nephew is really bothered by something. How bothered isn't really clear at this point. Talk to him, but do not make a big deal about the suicide comment -- doing so could increase his tendency toward self-harm by ...


19

Anger is part of the grieving process, and everyone works through it in their own way and at their own pace. Specifically, the "suck it up" approach might work for you, but girls usually need someone to vent to who will listen, sympathize, not judge, and not try to tell them how to "fix it" until they get it all out. They are probably acting with more ...


18

You've done a very good thing by asking for help. There may be tough times ahead, but you are trying hard to do something about it, so whatever happens, remember that you did the best you could. There is a biological urge to break away from one's parents, that often occurs around your age. This is partly to allow them to focus their attention and resources ...


15

Stephen King wrote a description about this once. "You're one of those people that, when King Laugh knocks, you can't keep the door closed." I'm the same way: laughter overwhelms me at sometimes very inappropriate times, and especially when I'm emotionally overwrought or very fatigued. It's apparently fairly common with folks on the autism spectrum. And ...


15

It can seem very overwhelming, but with help from public services and by adjusting your expectations about having the new fancy gadgets that are on the "must have" lists, you can definitely budget for baby. First, find out about public services available for free Vaccines are given for free at clinics: http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/health/...


14

I would suggest the following strategy: Learn the facts. Do a bit of reading to make sure you know the whole story, perhaps by talking to female friends. Then give a frank and honest account of what will be going on in the girl's body and why. Make sure the girl has tampons or pads available for when the event happens, and make sure she know how to use ...


14

Laughter is a big emotional response. My son does this to me too. (And my body is also wired to laugh inappropriately in extremely high-tension situations, so I can relate on that level too.) Now the weird part and the part I don't understand is that she claims she cannot control the laughter. She says that she doesn't want to laugh but she can't help it....


13

How old are you and your sisters? What was your relationship with them like before you moved back in? How is your mom handling all this? Some general truths: Unless the age gap is big enough that your sisters saw you as an authority figure before your father left, they won't now. His actions won't change how they see you. Your sisters were just ...


12

It's just like anything else. You set limits and you enforce them. Being a video game enthusiast myself, I wanted to point out a few things you might want to consider in setting those limits. Some games are very easy to set down at any time, and some aren't. Some games can only be saved at fixed checkpoints. Some have cut scenes that can't be paused or ...


11

The most important thing you need to homeschool your child is an adult who can spend the hours of 9am-3pm with the child. This is also the requirement with the longest lead time. Some of the ways people are able to arrange this include: be a 2-adult family, one works for income and the other homeschools the children be a 2-adult family, one works days and ...


11

I have no idea what any kind of "best" action could possibly be. What I would want to make sure of is that no matter what interaction I have with my kids about the death of their other parent I want to be clear what is happening inside me (and deal with that) from what is happening inside them (and help them deal with that). They are two different aspects of ...


11

Here's a summary of social welfare payments available to support families and specifically children, in Ireland. The ones which sound as though they might be relevant to you are: Child Benefit: €135 per month for each child from January 2015 Maternity Benefit: from 6 January 2014 a standard rate of €230.00 per week is paid. One-Parent Family Payment: €188 ...


10

I am not a parent so this isn't a complete answer, just a perspective from dealing with people. In any interaction between two mammals, one is reactive and the other has the power. If you want to win an argument, make the other person lose their mind with anger. It doesn't even have to be an anger reaction. Social power falls to the person the least ...


9

I am not an expert, but would like to supply some resources that you might find helpful at the website of the American Association of Suicidology. It has: a Suicide Loss Survivors page with a lot of great resources on it. links to support groups in each State (not sure if you are in the States) a monthly newsletter (which may help you feel not so alone ...


9

The reason this is a struggle for me is because I realize that I am not a perfect parent. FYI: There is no such thing. I got teary-eyed when I read your post. For 2 reasons: 1) I was raised in a household where my father was unbelievably violent and abusive, and 2) I, too, have had to balance a hard decision as my daughter's mother is not one who ...


8

First, just let me say, I know how devastating a brain tumor is because one of my childhood best friends has one. It has been removed and she is still there but communication is difficult and she gets really frustrated and sad frequently. It looks as though it is on the re-bound unfortunately too. So, the communication abilities she has regained are ...


8

I am not an attorney so I can't give legal advice, but this is a topic near and dear to my heart and I think she can do more than she realizes and I think there are organizations that could help her and she just doesn't know it. First, if he has her state ID and her SSN, he has effectively stolen her identity. And if he's used it (like he did to get ...


8

You're a gamer with relationship problems? Hey, I was a gamer with relationship problems too. I get it. (I even met my wife on an online game. Right after I killed her. What a noob... Sorry, what was I saying?) You have a lot of things going for you. The biggest one is that he's trying. The next biggest one is that you told him the truth. Right there, I can ...


7

The child is 7, so the parent should still assert a strong influence on him. Assuming you are talking about home video games (xbox and such) or handhelp (DS and such): If the child can play a game and stop after half an hour, I do not think they have a problem. If they are asked to stop after half an hour and refuse to or throws a tantrum, then there ...


7

While unemployment stress may be contributing, don't blame a rebellious phase entirely on that- your daughter is in the prime rebellion years, you would probably be facing some of these challenges anyway. My suggestion is to drop the angry face and immediately put on a sad face, and say seriously, it's not nice to laugh at people who are having problems. ...


7

And then when I start to look noticeably angry and start to raise my voice, she laughs at me. I have Asperger's, and this is something I have dealt with all my life. I initially noticed this when I was young: I would find myself involuntarily laughing when in situations where I was either subjected to physical pain (such as burns or blunt trauma), ...


7

As a parent who grew up in an abusive home-life situation, I can connect with your wife's perspective. Growing up, I never knew when the next blow was coming. I could say something "wrong", have an expression on my face that looked "disrespectful" and suddenly I was slammed up against a wall getting yelled at by a man who I didn't doubt was capable of ...



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