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34

I'm an autistic adult, the parent of an autistic adult, and a teacher of autistic children. The reason your daughter laughs when you're really angry with her is because your anger is frightening her. This might seem counter-intuitive to the neurotypical mind, until one considers that neurotypical laughter is frequently in response to someone being hurt, ...


19

As a male who previously worked customer service for feminine care products, I think I might be able to provide some advice here. Get familiar with the different feminine hygiene brands. Assuming you are in the US, that's Kotex, Always, Stayfree, Tampax, Playtex, etc. Don't just assume that having the talk is the end of it. There will be an adjustment ...


19

It is concerning that he said that, but it may or may not actually mean that he's depressed, let alone suicidal. It's safe to assume that your nephew is really bothered by something. How bothered isn't really clear at this point. Talk to him, but do not make a big deal about the suicide comment -- doing so could increase his tendency toward self-harm by ...


17

Mothers do what fathers do: love their children unconditionally and raise them to be independent, happy contributing members of society. My husband and I have different approaches towards the kids, but those are much more based on personality and background than gender. We both love our kids to death and show them that every day, and we both try to teach ...


17

Anger is part of the grieving process, and everyone works through it in their own way and at their own pace. Specifically, the "suck it up" approach might work for you, but girls usually need someone to vent to who will listen, sympathize, not judge, and not try to tell them how to "fix it" until they get it all out. They are probably acting with more ...


16

I won't answer everything (short version - I think you're doing the right thing on most levels). Do NOT badmouth the ex in front of the son. You made a very wise choice! For one thing, it won't really help you long term. Second, it may cause damage to his own self-image as a man long term. For another, if you ever meet a man you want to be involved with ...


14

Stephen King wrote a description about this once. "You're one of those people that, when King Laugh knocks, you can't keep the door closed." I'm the same way: laughter overwhelms me at sometimes very inappropriate times, and especially when I'm emotionally overwrought or very fatigued. It's apparently fairly common with folks on the autism spectrum. And ...


12

How old are you and your sisters? What was your relationship with them like before you moved back in? How is your mom handling all this? Some general truths: Unless the age gap is big enough that your sisters saw you as an authority figure before your father left, they won't now. His actions won't change how they see you. Your sisters were just ...


12

I would suggest the following strategy: Learn the facts. Do a bit of reading to make sure you know the whole story, perhaps by talking to female friends. Then give a frank and honest account of what will be going on in the girl's body and why. Make sure the girl has tampons or pads available for when the event happens, and make sure she know how to use ...


10

It's just like anything else. You set limits and you enforce them. Being a video game enthusiast myself, I wanted to point out a few things you might want to consider in setting those limits. Some games are very easy to set down at any time, and some aren't. Some games can only be saved at fixed checkpoints. Some have cut scenes that can't be paused or ...


10

I have no idea what any kind of "best" action could possibly be. What I would want to make sure of is that no matter what interaction I have with my kids about the death of their other parent I want to be clear what is happening inside me (and deal with that) from what is happening inside them (and help them deal with that). They are two different aspects of ...


10

Laughter is a big emotional response. My son does this to me too. (And my body is also wired to laugh inappropriately in extremely high-tension situations, so I can relate on that level too.) Now the weird part and the part I don't understand is that she claims she cannot control the laughter. She says that she doesn't want to laugh but she can't help ...


9

I am not an expert, but would like to supply some resources that you might find helpful at the website of the American Association of Suicidology. It has: a Suicide Loss Survivors page with a lot of great resources on it. links to support groups in each State (not sure if you are in the States) a monthly newsletter (which may help you feel not so alone ...


9

The most important thing you need to homeschool your child is an adult who can spend the hours of 9am-3pm with the child. This is also the requirement with the longest lead time. Some of the ways people are able to arrange this include: be a 2-adult family, one works for income and the other homeschools the children be a 2-adult family, one works days and ...


8

First, just let me say, I know how devastating a brain tumor is because one of my childhood best friends has one. It has been removed and she is still there but communication is difficult and she gets really frustrated and sad frequently. It looks as though it is on the re-bound unfortunately too. So, the communication abilities she has regained are ...


7

The reason this is a struggle for me is because I realize that I am not a perfect parent. FYI: There is no such thing. I got teary-eyed when I read your post. For 2 reasons: 1) I was raised in a household where my father was unbelievably violent and abusive, and 2) I, too, have had to balance a hard decision as my daughter's mother is not one who ...


6

I am not an attorney so I can't give legal advice, but this is a topic near and dear to my heart and I think she can do more than she realizes and I think there are organizations that could help her and she just doesn't know it. First, if he has her state ID and her SSN, he has effectively stolen her identity. And if he's used it (like he did to get ...


6

The child is 7, so the parent should still assert a strong influence on him. Assuming you are talking about home video games (xbox and such) or handhelp (DS and such): If the child can play a game and stop after half an hour, I do not think they have a problem. If they are asked to stop after half an hour and refuse to or throws a tantrum, then there ...


6

Some (or even all) of these can be incredibly difficult to provide as a single dad but I would point out: Hugs - not the love you dad - love you son kind of hug but the sniff - thank you for helping me feel safe, warm and deeply loved kind of hugs. Not Dad - someone who will sympathise with the child's frustration with the restrictions that Dad imposes but ...


6

While unemployment stress may be contributing, don't blame a rebellious phase entirely on that- your daughter is in the prime rebellion years, you would probably be facing some of these challenges anyway. My suggestion is to drop the angry face and immediately put on a sad face, and say seriously, it's not nice to laugh at people who are having problems. ...


5

When you compare two groups, the differences within one group are bigger than the differences between those groups. So there will be women who exhibit more typical male behaviour than you. In some situations you will exhibit more typical female behaviour than other women. Nothing wrong with that. Be true, be honest to yourself, and don't want to be the ...


5

My advise would be to get her a book meant for children which teaches about menstruation. The book should be filled with non-frightening pictures of the human body with a simple-to-understand language. The reason is that she might feel embarrassed to ask questions about this to her father. The good book will answer her questions in her privacy. Moreover, ...


5

I taught Middle School health for a number of years and had to have these chats with boys and girls. In addition to Zoot's wonderful answer, I would suggest to this neighbor of yours, having a few extra resources on hand. The first of these would be a good "girl's stuff" book. The American Girl's company offers a number of wonderful "girl issue" books ...


5

And then when I start to look noticeably angry and start to raise my voice, she laughs at me. I have Asperger's, and this is something I have dealt with all my life. I initially noticed this when I was young: I would find myself involuntarily laughing when in situations where I was either subjected to physical pain (such as burns or blunt trauma), ...


4

First of all, I am sorry for your loss. Even tho it was a while ago, that doesn't change the value of the loss. I am an analytical parent. I ask questions and try to figure out why my kid did whatever they did. Sure they tell me they were hollering at their sibling because they did X, but the underlying reason is sometimes much stronger but goes ...


3

One of the most effective ways of learning, especially about life, is by doing it and making the mistake ourselves or by learning from the mistakes of others. In relationships where the partners are together for the duration of the childrens' growth, there is still relationship conflict which needs to be addressed -- and the children will learn from those ...


3

I have a 15 yr old daughter. My wife and I do not have stereotypical gender roles. We are both there for our daughter as parents. She'll go though a situation with me, seeking advice, and then go to her mother with the same story. At first, this struck me as odd, but then I understood, she needed to talk it out. Having two parents helps, but this is more ...


3

First, even this (more generally useful) question doesn't exactly fit your circumstances. Your son has a mother -- you do not need to be both mother and father. What you want to know is, are there social/emotional things he would normally learn from his mother because she is a mother, either explicitly or from his relationship with her, that are essential ...


3

Not all video games are bad per se, but playing them to the point of ignoring all other activities (addiction) is going to mean that the child's development and life experiences will suffer. The same problems can be seen with too much social media or texting. We countered this by planning ahead and arranging as many interesting/fun physical activities as ...



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