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22

It seems you're having difficulty expressing the idea of "not sharing" in positive terms. If you call it "taking turns" it's a lot easier to encourage in a positive way. "It's his turn to play with the legos now. It's your turn to play with these velcro stars if you want." Kids that age really glom onto the concept, because it reconciles the need to ...


9

I have three kids. The way we handle this is that if it is in your room, it's off limits and the others have to ask before they can come in your room and play with it. If it is in a common area, then it is fair game and it's strictly first come first server. We also have a "new toy" rule. The first two days you have a toy, you get first priority of ...


9

He can't share nicely with Elmo as Elmo won't take turns or offer an instrument when he is done with it. Instead, explain to your son every time he does it that Elmo is a toy and might break if you treat him this way. It is not about teaching sharing it is about teaching him to take care of his toys.


8

This situation is going to recur for years. Develop a long-term strategy for dealing with it based on what is best for your son, not necessarily what is fair. At this age, he's not going to learn any significant lesson from any behavior you choose as long as it's not frightening to him. There are plenty of reasons to stop someone from snatching a toy: value ...


7

I think it's a valid concern, but not very serious at this stage. One thing it's difficult to tell from the question is if your son's focused on Elmo when he's moving him out the way, or if he's focused on the instrument. If the latter, then over-excited grabbing at things is pretty normal and harmless for what is basically a bundle of instincts wrapped in ...


7

Alone time is tough, perhaps sharing specific time for each one with another parent so both get a chance to do a task/craft with each child. My wife and I take time with the older one, I will watch the younger and she and he will do something they like to do together. I sometimes will take the older out for baseball or do some work outside and my wife will ...


7

We had our daughter in our room until she was 6 months, our son until he as 9 months. The benefits we found were: Night time feeds are a lot easier - it is a lot easier to get the baby when they are a few feet away. You only have to heat one room. If the missus needs help for some reason, you are already there. You can hear you child breathing, thus tend ...


6

I don't really think this is a good idea. Not with that kind of age gap, and particularly not with step-siblings. There are no laws preventing this. The laws only apply to siblings of different sex. The reason I believe it's just not ideal though, is that an 18 year is basically a full grown man, and may be into all sorts of things that may not be ...


6

This is a good question. We have a 5yo, 3yo, and 20 month old twins who often have toy ownership confrontations. Dealing with ownership issues is a constant task for us. Generally, in our house it is a free-for-all, meaning that anybody can play with any toy, even if it was a gift given to one child specifically. Our reason for this choice is that with four ...


5

Developmentally they're at the age where sharing is an alien thing, so what you're seeing isn't necessarily a bellweather for problems down the road. That being said, the best luck we've had teaching our 21-month-old to share is modelling the desired behavior. When he picks up something that's interesting to him but that we'd rather he didn't play with ...


5

In combination with the concept of "taking turns" you can also talk to your little one about "projects." What I mean by that is best illustrated by giving you an example from home first, and they I'll explain how it applies out in the world. The home example is also a way to "practice" the idea. First, he'll need to know to offer help rather than just ...


4

The other parent seems to have taken a cue from you.* You didn't say anything and let the her deal with it, which sends the message that it doesn't bother you on behalf of your son. And when that happens repeatedly, the simpler path for her to take was just let her child have the toy -- that way, it doesn't get stolen anymore and she doesn't have to ...


4

Why should he have to share with Elmo anyway? In his little play world, your son is president, king and dictator for life. Bossing his toys about provides a useful outlet. --- EDIT --- In response to this comment and downvote: I don't think this is a constructive answer. Can you expand further to explain why you think this is a useful learning premise? An ...


4

I have twins who are 2.5 years old. At 18 months consider having the kids take turns with a toy and not play with it at the same time (another form of sharing). First it's Sam's turn and then it's Alex's. You can use a timer so after 2 minutes they have to switch toys. Be very encouraging, thanking them for sharing and playing nicely together. At this ...


2

Crafts can often be done on two levels: one kid working on a different project than the other kid. That way, both children can have a reasonably challenging project. This can also help when the older kid wants to play with an 'older' toy: have one kid work on a project which challenges him, which the other would find boring; that way they will both be ...


2

My little one is only 1 year old and so doesn't do structured activities well, but when this situation arises I try to find a similar substitute for him so that his older sister can do her thing. For example, if she is painting he might be colouring with crayons.


2

We were perhaps a bit too conservative in our approach - we encouraged our lot from the start to come and ask us if they could go and play with another child, which gave us the opportunity to say, "No - that boy is busy," or, "You're a bit too big to play with her." On reflection, this probably made our kids, well, at least our eldest, a bit reticent to go ...


2

First of all, I love the fact that I get to tell one of the forum mods "YOR DOIN IT RONG!!!11" IMO wait till the move. If it's planned and it's in the pretty near future (couple months), there's no reason not to wait. Every routine you have is going to be restarted anyway, and you'll even have to start some new ones. Regardless of how you try to plan it, ...


2

This is pretty normal for siblings, and there are a lot of factors in play. The toy somebody plays with always seems more interesting. There is a book Siblings without Rivalry which discusses it in details. I would suggest to do the following: Establish ownership. Each kid does not have to share his toy (of course, they can be asked, but don't insist). If ...


2

In my opinion this is very common behavior. He probably wants to both be part of what B does, and maybe to retaliate. Our 3 year old does this quite common to his little brother, 13 months old. He still love his little brother, I and I bet A loves B a lot still. Does A share well with kids his own age? At 4, he is probably used to having some 'discussion' ...


2

I am in my 50s, and sometimes I struggle with the same thing! Some things I find helpful: Leaving a light on in the next room Running a fan Sitting up and reading until I am really sleepy Music or television on with really low volume A lot of people find sleeping with a pet helpful. Maybe that is an option for you? Good luck.


2

I firmly believe that when a parent brings their child to a shared play area or play group, then they confer to the rest of the attending guardians the right to interact with that child. (I also believe that each attending guardian has a shared responsibility to ensure the safety of the children and the surrounding property.) In this case, if another child ...


2

This is purely a cultural issue. It is not illegal in the UK (although in England and Wales there is specific prohibition for opposite sexes sharing a room) Historically, everyone in a family slept in the same room - as houses were only one room. In fact, the animals tended to sleep in the same room as well. In some cultures, sharing a room with extended ...


1

One of the most important concerns for a young child is to not have the things they are using taken away from them. Allowing another kid to take your child's toy is not sending the message you need to share it sends the message you cannot be confident that I will protect your right to keep using the toy. You need to take the toy back from the other child ...


1

We have a similar set of boys (3 and 15 months), and the way we dealt with it, in addition to largely following Ida's advice above, was to emphasize to the older boy that the younger boy needs toys, also. Largely this comes in two flavors: The older boy is playing with a large set of toys (cars, trains, etc.), where there are numerous individual elements. ...


1

Learning to share is very important, but so is learning to take turns. In this situation I would just gently hold my child back and remind him that he needs to wait for his turn, or ask the other child if he can join in the game. Regarding wanting to play with older children. You need to be careful to avoid saying things like "you can't play that game ...


1

Have you considered co sleeping? This way you dont have to worry about A hurting your younger baby B. Once your younger kid attains 3 years of age, you can shift him.in the same bedroom of A. So this way, they will have a playroom and a bedroom.


1

A lot of parenting at this age comes from just making your best call and teaching the child the "way it is" for them. If you look around the world, kids just learn to adapt to whatever, from the richest mansion to the poorest village -- what they are given is what is normal. It is your job to choose what is best for them. I wouldn't worry about it. ...


1

Given the new information you've offered, it takes a while for the oldest to fully grasp how fragile baby really is, as well as the ramifications of new baby, accept those and grow into being the trusted and helpful older sibling (in my case, I went back and forth between my "evil side" and my "good side" right up until I left for college). All joking ...


1

I agree with Valkyrie. To add a technique, tho, you could also try sitting and playing with one or the both of them a few times. Emphasize when you're giving stuff to them. Emphasize when you don't want them taking the knives that you're playing with at that particular moment, especially when there's other knives on the floor between you just itching to be ...



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