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-7

It is not too late - the good news The bad news is that pedophilia is not good understood. What he needs most is confidence and self-esteem. He has to get out of the house and participate in extra-curricula activity, something that will prepare him for the future. He should also do some activities with children, so he sees them as persons with their own ...


8

First, I want to commend your son for his bravery in telling you about his attraction to young boys. Trust me, it takes a lot of courage to do something like that. I also want to congratulate you for having built this amount of trust that he felt he could tell you something so difficult to confess. I discovered I was sexually attracted to boys when I was ...


-3

If your son is a pedophile that's simply part of who he is. There's not much to really do, other than give him the emotional support he needs. Just know that this isn't something that can be "fixed". A person's pedophilia is unchangeable as far as modern science is aware. Also know that he is no ticking time bomb that is destined to hurt people. I strongly ...


2

Well I'm glad that he told you. I wish I had taken the same action as him. Since I was 13 years old I was attracted to kids my age and younger boys. I knew I was gay, but as I got older and older and still felt an attraction to younger kids I saw that it was a problem, but I never told anyone about it because of the fear of being rejected and the way ...


6

Pedophilia is a problematic sexual orientation, but at the age of 15 I don't think it's so straight forward. Being attracted to people 5 years younger than you when you're a 15 year old kid is alot different from liking 13 year olds as a 20 year old. I remember a stage around the age of 15 of feeling like I was attracted to younger (10-13 year old) girls, ...


26

Pedophilia is a sexual orientation. He is not a bad person just for having this orientation (any more than any other orientation), and that needs to be made clear to him. Not all pedophiles are child molesters and not all child molesters are pedophiles. Your candor, love, and support are going to be incredibly important to him, and his courage in facing this ...


26

I deeply admire your son for facing his feelings and for seeking help. You must have a very close and special relationship if he can trust you with this. I strongly recommend that you all talk to a good psychatrist, preferably someone with experience in this field. If these feelings persist - and they may - he will need help developing coping strategies ...


11

Speaking from experience here. At 16 years old, I confessed to my parents that I was addicted to pornography and had been for 5 years. I hid my browsing history and the like. First, make sure he knows that you love him. It does not matter that he is interested in younger children or that he did anything wrong, you still love him. Make sure he knows this. He ...


4

Perhaps your son would be impacted by the true story of my 13-year-old cousin who experienced a 15-year-old boy who "loved" her in the same way. She had a baby when she was 14. Then she had an abortion as a result of someone else when she was 15. She became drug addicted, then a prostitute. Please tell your boy that if he does this to her, even if no child ...


3

First let me say the following. There is no moral law (religious laws) and no "law of men" that can do anything at all to prevent teenagers from attempting to have sex. There is only one law that controls teenage sexual behavior and that is biology (the law of the jungle). I would bet a lot of money that, if you allow these two kids to be alone, they will ...


6

Contraception You don't want to make this situation worse, so make sure your son has access to condoms and knows how to use them. That includes showing him how to put one on (ususally done with a banana) and making him practise, making sure he understands that — contrary to the common misconception — a girl can get pregnant on her first time, ...


3

Things you might want to say: That he will possibly ruining his life: not only by going to jail (and not finishing high school, and having problems with college), but also by getting a 'sex offender' label that will follow him through his life That he will possibily ruin her life: with unwanted pregnancy, with a judicial procedure that inevitably breaks ...


8

I agree with your concerns for the girl. There are some great suggestions in the other answers, so I'll limit myself mostly to consequences for the girl. Let's assume you can't stop them from having sex, which doesn't mean the discussion shouldn't take place; they can still be in a relationship with each other that doesn’t involve sex. Discussions with ...


5

You're in an unenviable position with your 15-year old right now. He's very close to the age where he's been told that he'll legally be allowed to participate in sex, but his girlfriend is still very far away from that age. He may, however, be at an age that he will understand this somewhat complex situation - so you should definitely first consider just ...


3

English Law: http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/contents Your son is 16 and thus would count as a child offender under the law. (Once he's 18 the law becomes much more serious, although it is serious for under 18s). Note that he has already broken the law. He touched a child; the touching was sexual; he knew she was under 16. This offence ...


6

A quicker response in order to cover something I view as an important point: teens have a much higher tendency towards risk-taking behaviors. Thus, while the legal aspects may be the most concerning to you, to your son the legal ramifications only apply "if we get caught." And of course, he'll NEVER get caught again. I agree with the above posters that the ...


20

Your son is nearly sixteen, and that means he's clearly beyond the point where you can 'make' him do things - and it seems like you agree based on your question. So what that means, to me, is the important thing is to help him understand the consequences of his actions. Teenagers are of ten able to make good choices when they understand the full ...


24

You can no longer micromanage your son's activity You have probably noticed that your can't control your son's actions by force or persuasion anymore, if you ever could. He's old enough now to be self directed, which is scary. The only thing you can do is to give him a moral framework in which to live. Provide a credible moral framework Can you explain to ...


6

There are two textbook definitions of adulthood. One is legal adulthood, where we've set dates from birth at which point you're entitled to certain privileges, and there's physical adulthood which is, quite simply, sexual maturity. Your son is quickly approaching both of these milestones in his life. If your son is going to be engaging in adult behaviors, ...


15

You need to bring some other adults into the equation. The first people I'd talk to is her parents. Yes, part of the problem might be that she doesn't have great parents but that's why you need to talk them, even more than if her parents are good. The second type of person to talk to is a trusted teacher, or maybe neighbor, who has dealt with both your son, ...



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