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12

To me, the most complicated part of this is explaining a) why you don't want to forgive, or trust (or both) your uncle, and b) why you don't trust your mother's judgement on the matter enough to allow her to see your son. (Not that I'm questioning either element - you know the situation - but explaining the above to your child.) Presumably your child has ...


10

I would provide much less information to your children than you have listed here. It would go something like this. Uncle Joe has a problem in his head and he hurts people on purpose. Not just people, but children like you. I won't allow him near you in case he decides to hurt you. (Optionally: it's a very small chance, but even a small chance is too ...


8

Crying at drop-off and pick-up is more of a separation anxiety issue, and it's totally normal. It has nothing to do with whether she likes daycare. What you really need to know is whether she cries throughout the day, or if the crying is limited to a brief period at drop off and pick up. I used to sneak in to daycare at the end of the day and see my son ...


7

What a horrible dilemma! As I see it, your problem comprises three distinct elements: Your mother has little or no sense of what reasonable boundaries consist of. She also lies when it suits her purposes, and for some reason has prioritized her relationship with her son over the safety of her grandchildren Your uncle has even less sense of boundaries than ...


5

Short answer: tell the the truth Long answer: My father went to jail... twice for the same offence, one time for a short period, 6 months in which my mom told us nothing, and one time for 2 years, and my mother spoke openly about it towards me and my older sister, we also visited regularly and my dad always had writings to give to us or nice drawings. ...


5

I would suggest to tell him in advance, and then just remind him the day before the other kid is actually leaving. In my experience, drawing something nice for the other kid, or drawing a cartoon on where he's going helps. I did some cartooning when we were moving, and my kids loved it. They wanted to see the adventure, and sometimes, they wanted to see the ...


4

Please forgive my posting anonymously, but I think I might be in a unique position to answer this. Without going into too many gory details about my family history, my mother found out she was married to A Very Bad Man and, immediately, left him, taking my sister, her three-year-old daughter, with her. I was born later, in her second marriage, and growing ...


3

The clear answer is illness. Even a 9 yr old understands sickness. This sickness is one that can cause harm to others because ability for self-control is damaged. Until the illness can be cured, it's simply too dangerous for the person to be around. The idea of illness in others can be very important in these circumstances. It's especially important as ...


2

You should definitely tell your son before the last day. Probably the morning on the first day you know they will meet, in good time before you leave home. Talk to him about it, and encourage him to talk to his friend about it. It is surprising how well kids are able to handle such things in their own way, if they just have some time to process it. The 3 ...


2

Some very good answers here, but I thought I had some value to add. My ex-wife's father was a serial molester and we took great care that he never interacted with our daughter. Before talking to the kids, explain very clearly the situation to all adults involved. Make a policy and write it down. (Understand the legal rules as well, and incorporate those.) ...


1

In my observation, separation anxiety is age dependent. At six months of age, babies tend to be relatively happy being left with a babysitter. At nine months, they have definitely formed attachments and will protest strongly when dropped off. Unfortunately, there is not much to be done about crying at drop-off time, other than to say a few reassuring words ...


1

Honestly, get a restraining order using the letters that covers both your own house and your mother's. These letters demonstrate risk and possibly intent, and he should be (for his own sake as well as the safety of your children) restrained from being within (say): 500m of the children's usual residence 500m of the children's school(s) 500m of the location ...



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