Hot answers tagged

10

I am so sorry to read this. You have my sympathy. First (I hope you've done this already), hire a lawyer. Does your wife have the legal right to withhold visitation from you? Find out. If she doesn't want to see you, maybe she can drop your children off at a friend's so you could see them without fear of confrontation. Second, is there an equivalent to ...


5

This is a frustrating problem, and I have no quick fixes to offer. I'm also sorry to hear about your son's bad winter. Thinking of the longer haul, have you discussed with your husband the possibility that he (and only he) get up and bring your son to you (in bed or wherever) to nurse, then take him back to settle him in? This might help your son to ...


5

Ironically, something that often really helps is giving them a couple nights without the possibility of Mommy coming to the rescue. It may not be consciously expressed, but the idea of needing someone else to intervene really undermines a Dad's confidence, and babies can sense that. Leaving them alone will help them find their own unique way of working ...


4

I had something very similar with both of my daughters. As a father, pretty much like clockwork, I remember these points: 7 months: they knew I existed and seemed somewhat happy to see me. 1 1/2 years: I truly enjoyed hanging out with them, for short bursts of time. 2 years: The pendulum started swinging, and they wanted to be more involved in the things I ...


3

With both of our little guys, we went through phases like you describe, where my wife was sometimes the only person who could comfort them. To some extent this is 'just a phase' and will pass in time - there will be weeks where only Daddy will comfort them effectively (once you stop breastfeeding, anyway, as that always seems to work). I don't believe ...


3

Your maturity, sensitivity and common sense are very evident, and your daughter is fortunate to have such a giving and loving mom. Kudos to you. You're absolutely right: you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. So, what to do? Legally, you can't just decide to end his visitation. To do that, you have to go to court and get a ruling to ...


3

In this situation, I think the best thing is to get her used to the idea in stages. You come over and all three of you (niece, mom, and you) have a good time playing together. You come over and all play together, but mom gets up for a few minutes to do a chore nearby (within the child's sight). You come over and mom does things for a little longer and a ...


2

Separation anxiety is common in children of this age, and if her mom hasn't worked on it substantially then it's not particularly surprising to me that she have these fears. Our three and a half year old still hates going anywhere that he isn't with mom/dad, and while he will go to daycare/preschool now without crying most of the time, it took a long time ...


2

The good news is you have a couple weeks to prepare. As Karl said, a couple nights without the possibility is probably the way to go. It's not too dissimilar from the process of ferberizing in that you have a small amount of time with radical change to open a much more comfortable situation in the long run. Many disagree with this process, but they may not ...


2

I'm not meaning to put you down in any way, you suffered abuse and are the victim. However, it's going to take time for your children to come to understand that as well. Understand also that until they do, in their eyes, you abandoned them. I was abandoned by my mother for a time under very similar circumstances. I knew my step father was a piece of a ...


1

I have 3 Children , a 6 year old daughter , and 8 year old daughter and a 7 year old son . he 6 year old holds the anxiety towards mommy leaving . I find that letting her know whats happening hours before she leaves ( Gymnastics with my other 2 children , she has a class by herself a different day ) is the best way to soften the blow . She still cries when ...


1

Two weeks is an eternity, but it is also a blip in time. If you had the power, I am 100% sure you'd alter time so that those weeks would be only seconds! A loving parent's absence is devastation no matter the duration! First, assuming your ethics are as mine, do not lie! The truth told without regard to the listener, though, can be harmful. "Oh, ...


1

Ericka, thanks for your question. I am a father of four, with three boys: 7, 12, 15 years old. I definitely see this separation anxiety as a real problem. While "normal" can be hard to define, if my 7 year old did this to me, I would certainly want counsel myself. What kind of relationship does he have with his Dad? Was there recently a traumatic event ...



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