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47

Since you're not thrilled about the depiction of violence in the book, but are reluctant to have your child singled out as different, maybe you could read it with him and discuss the violence and brutality. Use this as a teaching situation, where you can listen to his interpretation of the violent themes in the book and add in your own two cents.


28

You might consider that children are affected by violence differently than adults, especially violence in books. Their imagination isn't as horrible as ours. A lot of what makes the book impactful to adults will go right over a child's head, due to their inexperience and lack of maturity. If you've ever reread a book as an adult that you first read as a ...


27

To me, this sounds like much ado about nothing. Your son needs to learn how to socialize and how to make friends; sounds like he's done that already, so that's not your problem. So what is your problem? The fact that some kids aren't coming to a birthday party? Sounds like a good opportunity for a conversation with your son about the real world. ...


27

It's bizarre that the school would pay attention to the other parent, who probably had no clue what was going on. However, your issue is not with the other parent, it's with the school. The school's behavior sounds completely unreasonable, but presumably it does seem reasonable to them, based on their information and priorities. Most likely what happened ...


19

There are at least 2 sides to every issue. There are also at least 2 sides in every war. By destroying what she considers hers b/c she did not comply with your orders, in her eyes, the "issue" has become a "war" and you launched the first nuclear weapon, but it was a dud. Did you change her mind? No. Did you adjust her clothing style? No. (She will find ...


15

(Warning: Spoilers) Whereas the Hunger Games is a violent book, it is probably one of the few that shows the consequences of that violence. The death of Rue, the moral dilemma of kill-or-be-killed and the sacrifice of Katniss taking her sister's place all offer something for a child to learn. Even the death of foxface (I forget the character's name) was a ...


14

I remember reading Lord of the Rings when I was 11. It opened my eyes to a whole world of wonderful literature that was genuinely interesting. Books with war and violence evoke strong emotions. While I agree that not every child is necessarily ready for dealing with those emotions at that age, I would say that it's up to parents and teachers to support ...


14

If you DO make an issue out of it, what will be the result? Will the other 10 families start to consider everyone else in their priorities and scheduling, or will they apologize and keep right on with what they're doing? It's apparent they feel that having their children participate in soccer is a higher priority than having their children participate in ...


11

Obviously, the first decision is to determine if the individual child is ready or not for the book in any one form of reading it - alone, with a teacher and class, and/or with a parent. That really is a personal and individual decision as the answer for any given child will depend upon that child's particular sensitivities, reading abilities and moral ...


10

If this is a new thing, I would start with trying to understand why. Refusing to go to school is not like deciding not to eat your carrots. It's a huge change in the daily routine. And what's more, it's not something he's doing sneakily, like setting off for school but not arriving and spending the day larking about, he's telling you he won't go. That's ...


10

His classmates are rewarded by the spectacle of his tantrums as well as the group feeling of having a common target. Unless he can control the tantrums and ignore all taunts, I fear the only option is to change his environment to a more welcoming one. That may mean changing schools or getting ALL the parents to make sure their children behave.


10

You know your kid best. I personally vote for trust every time, because it was a big deal to ME when I was a kid when my parents trusted me enough to confide something like this in me. "I know you are mature enough not to use this word in your everyday language, so I'll tell you what it is and why people use it, and why we choose NOT to use it." Also, you ...


10

There was an age where mini-skirts as in the image you posted were considered outrageous, and those who wore it would for sure go to hell. It turned out that it wasn't that dramatic, and nowadays parents even consider those a standard. Times change and so do clothes. You might want to have a look at the other girls in her class to check for yourself how ...


9

WWooowww... Mirror image of my own situation, see my post. I have no answer, but I have suggestions. I came to the conclusion that puberty, social trailblazing and the change in the properties of school all kind of combined to make this kind of "what the hell is going on in my life!" soup for my daughter. The thing that seems to have worked to a point ...


9

As a young adult who grew up with parents dictating to me what I could and could not wear, I'm begging you to go to your daughter, apologize for not respecting her as the adult that she is, and tell her that no matter what she wears you love her and you're so incredibly grateful and proud of the woman that she is. My parents forced me into wearing what ...


8

The next time he does that, remove him from the situation (eg leave the classroom and go into the hall; leave the hall and go outside; whatever.) As a parent, nobody will challenge you doing this; just say "Excuse us for a moment," and to the child say "Come out here with me for a moment." When you get out of earshot of everyone, stay calm and say: That ...


7

Sergio and Dave BOTH have good answers for general activities, but if you are simply looking for a signal to get them to quite down and look at you for transitioning to the next activity there are a number of things to try depending on the specifics of the situation. You have to teach them it will be a signal and then use it pretty often first, but there ...


6

Sometimes natural consequences are too long term. In those situations, I consider a parent's job to be converting long term consequences into short term ones. The long term natural consequence of not being educated is a diminished earning capacity. If you want the short term consequences to match, reducing the amount of money you spend on him is a good ...


6

I grew up with parents like you. Fundamentalists, right? "Modesty" culture? All you're doing is teaching your daughter that her body is something to be ashamed of. I guarantee you you're going to lose her, because you've screwed this up and there's nothing you can do about it now. My parents screwed it up and I was glad when they kicked me out at 16 years ...


6

At her age, your daughter is learning to make decisions for herself. She needs to know that you will listen to her thoughts and that you are not afraid to change your mind or moderate your stance on an issue if she can give you a good reason to. If you were to discuss the situation and the current punishment with her, investigate for yourselves what's ...


5

Violence is unfortunately a factor of life. It does no good to hide your child from life. I am a member of both Amnesty International and the Campaign against the arms trade (CAAT). My daughter (now 13) has been on a number of demonstrations with me and has done since she was 8. A much better approach is to accept the reality of life but read the book with ...


5

There is no requirement to send your child to pre-school, that's a choice that's left up to you. Obviously, there are pros and cons for whether or not you send them, which can be discussed elsewhere. As for picking schools... you supply a list of three preferences to your local authority the year before your child is due to start school. Then, based on a ...


5

The biggest difference I see between 'formal' daycare with large classes of similar age kids and informal at-home daycare is being able to behave well in large groups with relatively little attention paid per child. I'm going to see this first hand to some extent; my first child is getting close to 3, and is leaving daycare to stay at home with mom (but ...


5

I would have been incandescant with rage if my patents had removed and destroyed my property. There is a difference between a short skirt and alcohol, or drugs, which are items that could legitimately be removed. 1) School Uniform. Explain that she must wear clothing that conforms to the school uniform. Does the school allow above the knee skirts? If so ...


5

There we agreed to make sure that everybody prioritized class events in order to do our best to get a good class. No, you didn't agree. It is possible that no one spoke out against this suggestion when it was made, but that is probably mostly due to an intense social pressure in the situation. Can you imagine someone in the situation saying: "I don't ...


5

Your child has a disability. In England they would have to make reasonable adjustments under disability discrimination laws. I don't know what the laws are where you are. I'd suggest that you write a letter to the school with the plan -- inside when pollen is high, outside when pollen is low (and you can tell the school each day?) and remind them of their ...


4

In addition to Sergio's answer: Have frequent breaks. A four year old's concentration span is very limited. Read the situation, if the kids are getting bored then change your approach. Incorporate movement between lessons. Kids who have trouble concentrating should be at the front of the class so you can engage them. Try to keep the class quiet when they ...


4

Some loose suggestions: make sports or let them play in the playground. If they are physically tired they will be more calm in the class room. make it fun, find out what they like & let them take part in decisions but still be very keen of who takes the last decision. use their hands. 4 year olds like to create, let them use their hands to paint, ...


4

I am 13 and have selective mutism. when I am pressured into doing things that I do not want to do in school I freeze up and do not move. Other times I get incredibly angry but as I do not talk in school I end up getting over whelmed and 'freezing' or breaking down crying. kids with selective mutism do not like to seem different from others and may not like ...



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