Hot answers tagged

67

First and foremost, that logic is not sound. The argument boils down to "bad things happen no matter what, so why should I try?" To give an analogous example, I can take meticulous care of my car and it could run for 10+ years. But all that care will not put a magic ward around my car to protect it from a storm causing a flood or knocking a tree on to ...


28

Could tell him it is the difference between having a chance and having no chance. People can work hard and do all the right things and still end up unemployed with a low standard of life, but on the whole it happens a lot less to educated hard working people than uneducated layabouts. Also there is more to education than just getting a job, it is far easier ...


25

I'm going to skip over the entire religious part of the question and answer what you should do about the much simpler part: If a teacher physically assaulted your son over a verbal debate, you should take legal steps. This person is unfit to be a teacher. You should talk to a lawyer.


20

The son could be helped with examining whether he actually thinks that it's true that higher education is useless, or just that this argument happens to fit with his current desire to not do the work. The way you do that depends on the child's age. If he is indeed interested in whether education makes a difference, perhaps show/discuss some data (if he's ...


19

Honesty about a learning disability is important for helping the child cope with it. They know if their grades aren't as good, or they can't remember the words, or it's harder for them to read — absent any information to the contrary, they may simply conclude that they're stupid or worthless and therefore just stop trying. Parents and teachers can provide ...


18

It is unlikely the son concluded this after a calm and rational examination of his options, but rather was reacting in the heat of the moment. Establish in subsequent discussions that the son's logic isn't particularly sound. Advanced education provides a lot of opportunities. It does not guarantee permanent success (as the father has found), but it opens ...


16

Part of this answer depends on how much you teach, and trust, your child to question what he has been taught, and to allow him to arrive at his own conclusions. Leading by example is probably the most important factor in this. Your son likes the stories. Can you let him hear all the stories, i.e. take some time in Protestant, Jewish, and Muslim classes, as ...


13

I grew up relatively poor and went to one of the worst high schools in my city, with a large minority population. I didn't realize it at the time, because I enjoyed the essence of white privilege, which is that it didn't occur to anyone to tell me my economic and educational circumstances would hold me back. My advice is to act like you belong, because you ...


13

There is a very simple reason why you should not do your son's homework: The results of homework assignments show the teachers whether what he taught was understood. Think of the following scenario: Teacher teaches subject A. Homework covers subject A. Most homework is returned mainly correct. ->Teacher assumes it to be understood and moves on to ...


11

I think the key question to ask is, Is your son capable of not believing what he's told in his Religion class? If he's capable of disbelieving it, then he's not being brainwashed, and there's no great crisis. You would do well to discuss with him that the facts in religion are less settled than they are in most of the subjects he's learning at that ...


9

DISCLAIMER: I consider myself an agnostic, and have recently been leaning toward the atheist end of the agnostic spectrum, but I think I'm significantly more inclined toward the possibility of God's existence than you are, and I happen to know a decent amount about the Catholic Church and to have a pretty healthy respect for it (though I have never ...


9

I agree with the points in Stephie's answer. The first step is to stop doing his assignment for him: not only is it cheating, he simply isn't learning. The entire purpose of schoolwork, whether at school or at home, is to educate him through practice. However, that does not mean completely disconnect from his homework. Especially if you have always been ...


9

This is something of a challenge to answer objectively. I'm going to try instead just throwing a random assortment of advice out there. See if slacks are an option. When I was in a school with a uniform, I had a friend who hated skirts and she wore slacks instead. (A polite question to the school can answer that easily.) However, I actually found skirts to ...


9

The son is not asking a "rational" question. This is his feelings talking. Feelings need to be understood, and feelings need help to be converted to words. This is not a question to be answerd with logic. The son is saying "I have a bunch of weird feeling going on, I don't know how to express myself! Help!". Try to understand him, empathise with him and ...


8

Aliel, this is obviously very painful for you and for your son, but I think you might be over-reacting to the situation. From what you've written above, these are some of the assumptions you seem to be making, which I think may not be justified: That your 5-year-old son's perception that his teacher is victimising him means that the teacher actually is ...


8

Ultimately, this is a decision you and your family need to make. There's no right answer. How you feel is fairly common; the feeling that the churches are 'taking advantage' of children to indoctrinate them is from one point of view a logical one. My family isn't all that different, though I would say my wife and I are closer to being "agnostic" (I use ...


8

The way I handled this situation worked really well for me, perhaps it would for you... I explained that a job is just a job, and sometimes jobs suck, sometimes they are great, and sometimes both for different people. But in job loss, there is a great deal that is NOT lost. You lose your particular income arrangement and role in whatever operation you ...


7

I think it's high time she is told, but read this first: Having a whole bunch of children, I can tell you that each child is special in its own ways – which includes that each one has their own set of problems. One is good at math, but horrifically bad at remembering even a dozen country's capitals. One is very well aware of what the people around feel, ...


7

Both are valid options, but reading your post carefully I'd suggest finishing the school year at the old school. A list of pro's (in somewhat random order): Finishing at his old school should give him some sense of closure - this phase ends for all the current kids next summer. So I can understand that he doesn't want to leave prematurely but (perhaps ...


6

Disclaimer: I live in germany, so i had my religious education in german schools, but i'm 47 right now, so my experience is 30-40 years old and might be a bit outdated. However, i don't think that very much has changed since then. Also, i was baptized as a (protestant) christian, had 13 years of religion at school, and consider myself an agnostic now. So, ...


6

"If I were not educated, we would not have all the things we currently have. Sure, today I don't have a job - but if I had not had a job for the last X years can you imagine where we would be and what kind of life we would be living?" "This joblessness is a bump in the road. Lots of people don't have jobs. Half of them don't have degrees - but I do. ...


6

Daring to kick father XXX in the pants in an attempt to try to assist in rising above the humiliation: Is father XXX now forever crippled and broken, never again to dare reach for greatness? Or is father XXX just currently jobless and humiliated for a spell while busily learning from this lesson how to become a stronger better person, and then forging a ...


6

The healthiest way is to encourage your daughter to do her best to reach the fullness of her own potential, without regard to her peers. That means "average success and mediocrity" isn't defined by what my typical peer can do today, it's defined by what I can do today. If I'm not better tomorrow than I was yesterday, by whatever measures I personally ...


5

It sounds like you might be leaning toward homeschooling. If that's the case, bear in mind that you don't have wait for the end of the year. For our son, we didn't even wait out the week, let alone the semester. We had been pondering homeschooling for a while, but one Wednesday he had a particularly bad day with a substitute teacher, and that Friday was ...


5

Talk to the school. They should have an anti-bullying policy. Get it and insist that they apply it in this case. Write to the teachers. Identify the specific hurtful behaviours being used and insist that they are stamped on. The only way to stop this is to make it clear to the bullies that their behaviour will not be tolerated. Bullying is child abuse, no ...


5

I don't believe in changing or removing clothes in front of others, with a few exceptions. This caused me problems in high school, because my physical education (gym) classes required a specific PE uniform (school branded shorts and T-shirt, not just a dress code). I refused to undress in order to change clothes, and there were no private places to change ...


5

You are not going to get an accurate report on the day's activities in the classroom from a five year old. In fact most 13 year olds don't report accurately on what's going on. I arranged to spend two full days in my child's classroom. I sat at the back, and had a laptop, and tried to work, although I actually found the noise and chaos made working ...


5

There are a lot of answers already. Most (all?) of them are good. But there's one important piece of this that none of them address: how do you feel about your situation? It sounds to me from the wording of your question like you have some lingering doubts about your own life choices. You need to sort that out or you will lack credibility when attempting to ...


5

Of course you could go the "drop all assistance" route that has been suggested here, but I personally wouldn't. Especially as you don't mention you child's age I suggest a more gradual approach: You are correct in assuming that a child / teenager needs to be thought about "how everyday life works". But this is not the responsibility of schools, but of you ...


5

For the immediate problem: Have you tried just covering half the lines with a piece of paper? It may really just be the 8 line looking horribly much, and if she can see that it really just is 4 lines, and then another 4 lines, just as before, it may help. Segmenting big problems into small ones can be a challenge eve for an adult, so imagine how hard it ...



Only top voted, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible