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41

First and foremost, that logic is not sound. The argument boils down to "bad things happen no matter what, so why should I try?" To give an analogous example, I can take meticulous care of my car and it could run for 10+ years. But all that care will not put a magic ward around my car to protect it from a storm causing a flood or knocking a tree on to ...


32

When confronted with these issues for the first time, we asked ourselves these questions: Can we afford to have everything all our peers have? If not, when and how did we learn to not to let this bring us down? Do we calculate our self-esteem depending on whether we can buy the same things our peers do? Seeing some of the things their peers have, do we ...


23

Like the others, I disagree that you should buying your child "everything". But I feel there is an important distinction other answers don't bring to the point, although some skirt it. When your children asks for something "everybody has", ask yourself: is it a status symbol, or a tool prerequisite for participating in an activity common among its peers? ...


22

Could tell him it is the difference between having a chance and having no chance. People can work hard and do all the right things and still end up unemployed with a low standard of life, but on the whole it happens a lot less to educated hard working people than uneducated layabouts. Also there is more to education than just getting a job, it is far easier ...


18

I think that money is not the most important factor here. I think that the reason the children usually have these costly toys (and I mean toys, since most kids do little more than play on them) like smartphones, laptops, tablets, PSPs, etc. is not because their parents care about them; it's often because they actually neglect them. The device is not ...


16

Part of this answer depends on how much you teach, and trust, your child to question what he has been taught, and to allow him to arrive at his own conclusions. Leading by example is probably the most important factor in this. Your son likes the stories. Can you let him hear all the stories, i.e. take some time in Protestant, Jewish, and Muslim classes, as ...


14

It is unlikely the son concluded this after a calm and rational examination of his options, but rather was reacting in the heat of the moment. Establish in subsequent discussions that the son's logic isn't particularly sound. Advanced education provides a lot of opportunities. It does not guarantee permanent success (as the father has found), but it opens ...


13

There is a very simple reason why you should not do your son's homework: The results of homework assignments show the teachers whether what he taught was understood. Think of the following scenario: Teacher teaches subject A. Homework covers subject A. Most homework is returned mainly correct. ->Teacher assumes it to be understood and moves on to ...


11

As a young adult (19) I think it would be good for me to input in this conversation as a child of this generation. I would first like to explain my background. My parents were/are pretty low income (£10,000 a year) so during school i often did not have a lot of what the other kids had. For example my trainers weren't the newest, it took 2 years after the ...


11

I think the key question to ask is, Is your son capable of not believing what he's told in his Religion class? If he's capable of disbelieving it, then he's not being brainwashed, and there's no great crisis. You would do well to discuss with him that the facts in religion are less settled than they are in most of the subjects he's learning at that ...


11

The son could be helped with examining whether he actually thinks that it's true that higher education is useless, or just that this argument happens to fit with his current desire to not do the work. The way you do that depends on the child's age. If he is indeed interested in whether education makes a difference, perhaps show/discuss some data (if he's ...


10

When I first read this question, the first word that came to my mind was bullying. You're in a kind of "damned if you do, damned if you don't" position here, and you need to choose 1) what's really best for your kids, and 2) what heartache you want to face. First, do you have the means, and live a lifestyle, that allows you to give your child everything ...


9

I grew up relatively poor and went to one of the worst high schools in my city, with a large minority population. I didn't realize it at the time, because I enjoyed the essence of white privilege, which is that it didn't occur to anyone to tell me my economic and educational circumstances would hold me back. My advice is to act like you belong, because you ...


9

DISCLAIMER: I consider myself an agnostic, and have recently been leaning toward the atheist end of the agnostic spectrum, but I think I'm significantly more inclined toward the possibility of God's existence than you are, and I happen to know a decent amount about the Catholic Church and to have a pretty healthy respect for it (though I have never ...


9

I agree with the points in Stephie's answer. The first step is to stop doing his assignment for him: not only is it cheating, he simply isn't learning. The entire purpose of schoolwork, whether at school or at home, is to educate him through practice. However, that does not mean completely disconnect from his homework. Especially if you have always been ...


9

This is something of a challenge to answer objectively. I'm going to try instead just throwing a random assortment of advice out there. See if slacks are an option. When I was in a school with a uniform, I had a friend who hated skirts and she wore slacks instead. (A polite question to the school can answer that easily.) However, I actually found skirts to ...


8

I've taught eighth grade (13-14 year-old kids) algebra for 28 years. The kids who arrive at middle school not knowing their basic multiplication facts are very unlikely to succeed in math in high school. Those facts are fundamental to everything from multiplication to division to fractions to factoring polynomials. They don't really understand any of these ...


8

Ultimately, this is a decision you and your family need to make. There's no right answer. How you feel is fairly common; the feeling that the churches are 'taking advantage' of children to indoctrinate them is from one point of view a logical one. My family isn't all that different, though I would say my wife and I are closer to being "agnostic" (I use ...


8

Aliel, this is obviously very painful for you and for your son, but I think you might be over-reacting to the situation. From what you've written above, these are some of the assumptions you seem to be making, which I think may not be justified: That your 5-year-old son's perception that his teacher is victimising him means that the teacher actually is ...


7

What I can't seem to get across is that while she has the right to express herself she needs to care about how she looks and dress appropriately. You're basically saying that she has the right to express herself, as long as you explicitly agree with how she expresses herself. That's worse than simply saying that she doesn't have the right to ...


7

The way I handled this situation worked really well for me, perhaps it would for you... I explained that a job is just a job, and sometimes jobs suck, sometimes they are great, and sometimes both for different people. But in job loss, there is a great deal that is NOT lost. You lose your particular income arrangement and role in whatever operation you ...


6

Unless there are special considerations that you neglected to mention, this sounds like a bad idea. You're essentially making the younger sibling skip a grade with no good reason. Furthermore, the younger sibling's work will be forevermore implicitly compared against the older sibling's work, no matter how hard you try to avoid making those judgements. The ...


6

Disclaimer: I live in germany, so i had my religious education in german schools, but i'm 47 right now, so my experience is 30-40 years old and might be a bit outdated. However, i don't think that very much has changed since then. Also, i was baptized as a (protestant) christian, had 13 years of religion at school, and consider myself an agnostic now. So, ...


5

I don't believe in changing or removing clothes in front of others, with a few exceptions. This caused me problems in high school, because my physical education (gym) classes required a specific PE uniform (school branded shorts and T-shirt, not just a dress code). I refused to undress in order to change clothes, and there were no private places to change ...


5

Talk to the school. They should have an anti-bullying policy. Get it and insist that they apply it in this case. Write to the teachers. Identify the specific hurtful behaviours being used and insist that they are stamped on. The only way to stop this is to make it clear to the bullies that their behaviour will not be tolerated. Bullying is child abuse, no ...


5

It sounds like you might be leaning toward homeschooling. If that's the case, bear in mind that you don't have wait for the end of the year. For our son, we didn't even wait out the week, let alone the semester. We had been pondering homeschooling for a while, but one Wednesday he had a particularly bad day with a substitute teacher, and that Friday was ...


5

You are not going to get an accurate report on the day's activities in the classroom from a five year old. In fact most 13 year olds don't report accurately on what's going on. I arranged to spend two full days in my child's classroom. I sat at the back, and had a laptop, and tried to work, although I actually found the noise and chaos made working ...


5

"If I were not educated, we would not have all the things we currently have. Sure, today I don't have a job - but if I had not had a job for the last X years can you imagine where we would be and what kind of life we would be living?" "This joblessness is a bump in the road. Lots of people don't have jobs. Half of them don't have degrees - but I do. ...


4

The purpose of Talented and Gifted programs is to provide extra opportunities to students with high levels of ability, talent, or potential. This is important to keep in mind, because the fact that your son was referred to as an "average student" is irrelevant to whether or not he would benefit from a TAG program. Many gifted children wind up being ...


4

It's unclear to me based on the question whether this is a defined religious belief (as would be explicitly protected by the first amendment and federal law), or if this is a belief that is not so protected. Jurisdiction (including country of course) would have a lot to say exactly where the line there is. If this is based on a religious belief, or ...



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