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30

When confronted with these issues for the first time, we asked ourselves these questions: Can we afford to have everything all our peers have? If not, when and how did we learn to not to let this bring us down? Do we calculate our self-esteem depending on whether we can buy the same things our peers do? Seeing some of the things their peers have, do we ...


27

It's bizarre that the school would pay attention to the other parent, who probably had no clue what was going on. However, your issue is not with the other parent, it's with the school. The school's behavior sounds completely unreasonable, but presumably it does seem reasonable to them, based on their information and priorities. Most likely what happened ...


26

To me, this sounds like much ado about nothing. Your son needs to learn how to socialize and how to make friends; sounds like he's done that already, so that's not your problem. So what is your problem? The fact that some kids aren't coming to a birthday party? Sounds like a good opportunity for a conversation with your son about the real world. ...


20

There are at least 2 sides to every issue. There are also at least 2 sides in every war. By destroying what she considers hers b/c she did not comply with your orders, in her eyes, the "issue" has become a "war" and you launched the first nuclear weapon, but it was a dud. Did you change her mind? No. Did you adjust her clothing style? No. (She will find ...


20

Like the others, I disagree that you should buying your child "everything". But I feel there is an important distinction other answers don't bring to the point, although some skirt it. When your children asks for something "everybody has", ask yourself: is it a status symbol, or a tool prerequisite for participating in an activity common among its peers? ...


17

I think that money is not the most important factor here. I think that the reason the children usually have these costly toys (and I mean toys, since most kids do little more than play on them) like smartphones, laptops, tablets, PSPs, etc. is not because their parents care about them; it's often because they actually neglect them. The device is not ...


14

If you DO make an issue out of it, what will be the result? Will the other 10 families start to consider everyone else in their priorities and scheduling, or will they apologize and keep right on with what they're doing? It's apparent they feel that having their children participate in soccer is a higher priority than having their children participate in ...


10

There was an age where mini-skirts as in the image you posted were considered outrageous, and those who wore it would for sure go to hell. It turned out that it wasn't that dramatic, and nowadays parents even consider those a standard. Times change and so do clothes. You might want to have a look at the other girls in her class to check for yourself how ...


10

The next time he does that, remove him from the situation (eg leave the classroom and go into the hall; leave the hall and go outside; whatever.) As a parent, nobody will challenge you doing this; just say "Excuse us for a moment," and to the child say "Come out here with me for a moment." When you get out of earshot of everyone, stay calm and say: That ...


10

As a young adult (19) I think it would be good for me to input in this conversation as a child of this generation. I would first like to explain my background. My parents were/are pretty low income (£10,000 a year) so during school i often did not have a lot of what the other kids had. For example my trainers weren't the newest, it took 2 years after the ...


9

As a young adult who grew up with parents dictating to me what I could and could not wear, I'm begging you to go to your daughter, apologize for not respecting her as the adult that she is, and tell her that no matter what she wears you love her and you're so incredibly grateful and proud of the woman that she is. My parents forced me into wearing what ...


9

When I first read this question, the first word that came to my mind was bullying. You're in a kind of "damned if you do, damned if you don't" position here, and you need to choose 1) what's really best for your kids, and 2) what heartache you want to face. First, do you have the means, and live a lifestyle, that allows you to give your child everything ...


7

I've taught eighth grade (13-14 year-old kids) algebra for 28 years. The kids who arrive at middle school not knowing their basic multiplication facts are very unlikely to succeed in math in high school. Those facts are fundamental to everything from multiplication to division to fractions to factoring polynomials. They don't really understand any of these ...


6

At her age, your daughter is learning to make decisions for herself. She needs to know that you will listen to her thoughts and that you are not afraid to change your mind or moderate your stance on an issue if she can give you a good reason to. If you were to discuss the situation and the current punishment with her, investigate for yourselves what's ...


6

Unless there are special considerations that you neglected to mention, this sounds like a bad idea. You're essentially making the younger sibling skip a grade with no good reason. Furthermore, the younger sibling's work will be forevermore implicitly compared against the older sibling's work, no matter how hard you try to avoid making those judgements. The ...


5

I grew up with parents like you. Fundamentalists, right? "Modesty" culture? All you're doing is teaching your daughter that her body is something to be ashamed of. I guarantee you you're going to lose her, because you've screwed this up and there's nothing you can do about it now. My parents screwed it up and I was glad when they kicked me out at 16 years ...


5

Get some really short skirts for yourself and muscle shirts for your husband. If wearing that at home doesn't work, try the nuclear option and wear it to pick her up at school. One more serious point that wasn't clear from your question, but that you've probably addressed when you talked to her: "Our rules" is not a good argument, but you should explain ...


5

The biggest difference I see between 'formal' daycare with large classes of similar age kids and informal at-home daycare is being able to behave well in large groups with relatively little attention paid per child. I'm going to see this first hand to some extent; my first child is getting close to 3, and is leaving daycare to stay at home with mom (but ...


5

I would have been incandescant with rage if my patents had removed and destroyed my property. There is a difference between a short skirt and alcohol, or drugs, which are items that could legitimately be removed. 1) School Uniform. Explain that she must wear clothing that conforms to the school uniform. Does the school allow above the knee skirts? If so ...


5

There is no requirement to send your child to pre-school, that's a choice that's left up to you. Obviously, there are pros and cons for whether or not you send them, which can be discussed elsewhere. As for picking schools... you supply a list of three preferences to your local authority the year before your child is due to start school. Then, based on a ...


5

There we agreed to make sure that everybody prioritized class events in order to do our best to get a good class. No, you didn't agree. It is possible that no one spoke out against this suggestion when it was made, but that is probably mostly due to an intense social pressure in the situation. Can you imagine someone in the situation saying: "I don't ...


5

Your child has a disability. In England they would have to make reasonable adjustments under disability discrimination laws. I don't know what the laws are where you are. I'd suggest that you write a letter to the school with the plan -- inside when pollen is high, outside when pollen is low (and you can tell the school each day?) and remind them of their ...


4

I am 13 and have selective mutism. when I am pressured into doing things that I do not want to do in school I freeze up and do not move. Other times I get incredibly angry but as I do not talk in school I end up getting over whelmed and 'freezing' or breaking down crying. kids with selective mutism do not like to seem different from others and may not like ...


4

Even good gifted programs (which are relatively rare in the US) still typically put kids in desks and expect them to sit and work in a fairly traditional way (except that they are allowed discussion with their peers a little more). This style of learning may not be a match for your child. A certain part of the population needs movement to process ...


4

Well, don't discount the medical option, but it ought to be down the list, after you've investigated other options. In any case, that's a medical diagnosis only a doctor can make. I don't know how your son was labeled "gifted" or what that means in your locale, but it means nothing with respect to maturity, attention span, social skills, or any ADHD ...


4

Not sure where you are but have you escalated this up to the school's governing body? Gotten his physician involved? And if nothing else works, can you get the local media involved to shame the school into doing the right thing? "Local school refuses to help adorable kindergartner with illness" can be the headline that most schools will do anything to ...


4

A possible option, if you can manage to get it going on such short notice, is having the birthday party as an afterparty to the tournament. I don't know if you can find a place near the tournament grounds that can handle so many kids on such short notice though.


4

An obvious solution is to move the date or time of the party to not conflict with an event that is very important to a large portion of invitees (and which they do NOT have the option to reschedule). If you don't want to change the party time, then perhaps you should consider whether it's a priority for your son's party guest list to exactly coincide with ...


4

I feel bullets will work best here. Yes Establishment of routine Getting an education Socializing with same-aged peers Discovering social boundaries (romantic relationships, topics of discussion, trends) Discovering more of the world (geography or social studies courses) Learning respect and tact (dealing with teachers) Learning disrespect and ...


4

The purpose of Talented and Gifted programs is to provide extra opportunities to students with high levels of ability, talent, or potential. This is important to keep in mind, because the fact that your son was referred to as an "average student" is irrelevant to whether or not he would benefit from a TAG program. Many gifted children wind up being ...



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