Hot answers tagged

114

I'm from the UK too. Call the parents and check the message was actually sent by them, it seems rather stupid that they would volunteer that information for no reason. I have had my Facebook hacked around four times usually by friends but once by a complete idiot who messaged all my family and friends some mean stuff. If she has admitted it and you know it ...


69

First and foremost, that logic is not sound. The argument boils down to "bad things happen no matter what, so why should I try?" To give an analogous example, I can take meticulous care of my car and it could run for 10+ years. But all that care will not put a magic ward around my car to protect it from a storm causing a flood or knocking a tree on to ...


55

Sounds like a common problem for gifted children: they finally reach a level where sitting back and coasting isn't enough, and having to actually put in some effort comes as a serious shock. Often the more gifted the child the worse this is, because greater talents merely put off the evil day and the resulting flameout is all the worse. At least this is ...


53

Since you're not thrilled about the depiction of violence in the book, but are reluctant to have your child singled out as different, maybe you could read it with him and discuss the violence and brutality. Use this as a teaching situation, where you can listen to his interpretation of the violent themes in the book and add in your own two cents.


42

There are at least 2 sides to every issue. There are also at least 2 sides in every war. By destroying what she considers hers b/c she did not comply with your orders, in her eyes, the "issue" has become a "war" and you launched the first nuclear weapon, but it was a dud. Did you change her mind? No. Did you adjust her clothing style? No. (She will find ...


36

I would like to supplement Paul's answer a little by abstracting a little bit. The reason gifted children may have this behavior is because the adults near them praise them for how smart they are, not for tackling a difficult task they have trouble doing--even if they failed. Mainly because most of the time in early life they do not fail :) At the moment, I ...


35

The Cons These must be considered, but please make sure to read the Pros as well. For us, they make the disadvantages well worth it. Restraints on Parents. Learning outside of a school environment can consume a lot of mom or dad's time. Most people probably picture that time being spent at the kitchen table with textbooks and worksheets, but from what I'...


34

To me, this sounds like much ado about nothing. Your son needs to learn how to socialize and how to make friends; sounds like he's done that already, so that's not your problem. So what is your problem? The fact that some kids aren't coming to a birthday party? Sounds like a good opportunity for a conversation with your son about the real world. ...


33

When confronted with these issues for the first time, we asked ourselves these questions: Can we afford to have everything all our peers have? If not, when and how did we learn to not to let this bring us down? Do we calculate our self-esteem depending on whether we can buy the same things our peers do? Seeing some of the things their peers have, do we ...


31

Give it time; time helps a lot. It's only been a few days, and this is quite a shock, especially to your daughter who probably worried for her friend's health/life. She's experienced a profound betrayal. It will be deeply disturbing for a while, but the intensity will fade with time. Whatever else this is, it's also an opportunity to talk to your daughter ...


30

You might consider that children are affected by violence differently than adults, especially violence in books. Their imagination isn't as horrible as ours. A lot of what makes the book impactful to adults will go right over a child's head, due to their inexperience and lack of maturity. If you've ever reread a book as an adult that you first read as a ...


29

Like the others, I disagree that you should buying your child "everything". But I feel there is an important distinction other answers don't bring to the point, although some skirt it. When your children asks for something "everybody has", ask yourself: is it a status symbol, or a tool prerequisite for participating in an activity common among its peers? ...


28

Could tell him it is the difference between having a chance and having no chance. People can work hard and do all the right things and still end up unemployed with a low standard of life, but on the whole it happens a lot less to educated hard working people than uneducated layabouts. Also there is more to education than just getting a job, it is far easier ...


27

It's bizarre that the school would pay attention to the other parent, who probably had no clue what was going on. However, your issue is not with the other parent, it's with the school. The school's behavior sounds completely unreasonable, but presumably it does seem reasonable to them, based on their information and priorities. Most likely what happened ...


27

I'm going to skip over the entire religious part of the question and answer what you should do about the much simpler part: If a teacher physically assaulted your son over a verbal debate, you should take legal steps. This person is unfit to be a teacher. You should talk to a lawyer.


24

Depending on their age, you may be able to use this to teach them about finances. Not everyone is paid the same. Not everyone has the same expenses. Also, you might give them an opportunity to earn a little more: Small payments for special housework (they still have chores that don't count here) Other jobs (selling candy/soda/etc. at a garage sale; odd ...


23

Everything ofcourse depends on the sort of pseudo-science and the amount of it your child is exposed to. If it is something that bothers you and keeps coming back. I would definitely talk about this with the teacher, the principal, etc. But when it's really part of the curriculum, it gets political fast and there probably isn't a lot you can change about it ...


23

As a former math tutor to children in middle and high school, and now a father, I can tell you a way to avoid the problem completely. Gain an understanding of the concept yourself, and make an equivalent problem that uses the same steps/ideas. Walk them through step by step, explaining as you go. One or two examples like that should be enough for them to ...


23

As a young adult who grew up with parents dictating to me what I could and could not wear, I'm begging you to go to your daughter, apologize for not respecting her as the adult that she is, and tell her that no matter what she wears you love her and you're so incredibly grateful and proud of the woman that she is. My parents forced me into wearing what ...


21

I'm 13 and I'm the same way. It's a medical condition called 'Selective Mutism'. I've been to several people and even been put on medicine and it hasn't helped. But my parents and I are trying. We've recently learned not to pressure them to talk or little things like that. My teachers would give me a mini whiteboard to write my answer down or I would write ...


21

There was an age where mini-skirts as in the image you posted were considered outrageous, and those who wore it would for sure go to hell. It turned out that it wasn't that dramatic, and nowadays parents even consider those a standard. Times change and so do clothes. You might want to have a look at the other girls in her class to check for yourself how ...


20

The son could be helped with examining whether he actually thinks that it's true that higher education is useless, or just that this argument happens to fit with his current desire to not do the work. The way you do that depends on the child's age. If he is indeed interested in whether education makes a difference, perhaps show/discuss some data (if he's ...


19

Hah this is a really good and old question. Let me tell you something else first... School for a bright kid is not about teaching. And not about learning because if he is as bright and vivid as you say he will learn everything himself. A school for a child like him, is about learning the hard way in life unfortunately. It is about learning discipline. ...


19

Honesty about a learning disability is important for helping the child cope with it. They know if their grades aren't as good, or they can't remember the words, or it's harder for them to read — absent any information to the contrary, they may simply conclude that they're stupid or worthless and therefore just stop trying. Parents and teachers can provide ...


19

Angela got message from her friend via Facebook with "Ha, Ha, I've scammed you." Who guarantees to you that the message is true and the cancer was all made up? Calm down. What do (did) you think about them? What do (did) Angela think about them? Who will profit from such message? If the cancer was faked; why confess when there is no doubt against you? If ...


18

I think that money is not the most important factor here. I think that the reason the children usually have these costly toys (and I mean toys, since most kids do little more than play on them) like smartphones, laptops, tablets, PSPs, etc. is not because their parents care about them; it's often because they actually neglect them. The device is not ...


18

It is unlikely the son concluded this after a calm and rational examination of his options, but rather was reacting in the heat of the moment. Establish in subsequent discussions that the son's logic isn't particularly sound. Advanced education provides a lot of opportunities. It does not guarantee permanent success (as the father has found), but it opens ...


17

I think that treating adoption like a "special" topic not treated by the same social rules as others may be a bad move. My son knows that if someone asks a question he isn't comfortable with, about anything, he doesn't have to answer it. If he tries it vs. a teacher, it's subject to my judgement when I get a phone call about it, but vs. peers it is 100% ...


16

When my daughter was in elementary (aka primary) school, we did BOTH. When the menu came out every month, we took 5 minutes and identified those days/items that were acceptable to us and to her, and on those days she bought lunch. The remaining days, a lunch was prepared and she took it with her. As she got older, she got more involved in the decision ...


16

Part of this answer depends on how much you teach, and trust, your child to question what he has been taught, and to allow him to arrive at his own conclusions. Leading by example is probably the most important factor in this. Your son likes the stories. Can you let him hear all the stories, i.e. take some time in Protestant, Jewish, and Muslim classes, as ...



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