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They should be rewarded for good behavior in the process of learning the good behavior. Then after a while when the child understands that the "good behavior task" is expected, you can gradually stop rewarding for that behavior. It is important that this kind of rewarding is just praising, and not giving gifts like toys or treats as rewarding. I don't ...

Rewarding good behavior has its place, but as I mention in this answer, I believe that children should not be generally rewarded for meeting basic expectations. We use positive feedback as a crude form of reward for my 21-month-old son; cheering and clapping when he does what we ask him to do. However, we don't bribe him with incentives (no "if you pick up ...

I don't think you're necessarily "backing out", or have to worry about him feeling he can just hold out until standards are lowered. You can simply say "this isn't working, since you aren't getting full weeks of 'greens'. Let's think of something else. We can still go to movies sometimes, when we all agree to go, but it won't be as often as if you were ...

There are those who feel that rewards are just as counter-productive as punishments. See "Punished by Rewards" by Alfie Kohn. He observes that both follow essentially the same pattern: "do this and you'll get A" is pretty much the same as "don't do this and you'll get B." He cites some research indicating that using extrinsic rewards can actually quash a ...

A problem with having an all-or-nothing reward (5/5 required) is that once he fails on one day there is no longer any incentive for the whole week. You want to be able to play the "you can still turn it around" card. One way to get around it is to have a medium level reward and a high level reward for the week. As others have mentioned it can be helpful ...

You're right you shouldn't reward for expected behavior but I've found when things need to get done if I ask and it's done right the first time I'll give something. Generally my rewards are with praise and appreciation. And then we talk about responsibility and such. I do give an allowance for getting their work done (basic chores) at the end of each ...

There's no need to back out in any special way. The strategy isn't working, so just discontinue it. I would also not replace it with another attempt at bribery. Instead, maybe you could consider taking away privileges when he misbehaves. If he doesn't get a green on a particular day, he might lose privileges (or a subset) for just the rest of that day. ...

I never really thought of a parent's role as creating consequences (good or bad), but as converting long term consequences into short term ones. Kids have the double handicap of both being naturally more short-sighted than adults and having more of their natural consequences be far in the future. For example, the natural consequences of not paying ...

Actually, I don't think you can operate a "successful" (with considerations for the long-term development of the child) star chart. Since you asked for "better ideas," I propose: connecting with your child by setting aside one-on-one time being kind (read connected, respectful, etc) and firm (known as authoritative parenting style, not to be confused with ...