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70

You absolutely need to seek professional help. The fact that he is forcing other children to perform sexual activities indicates that this is a VERY serious problem that you need to address immediately. Try to find a psychologist, councilor, or social worker who specializes in working with children. If they feel they aren't the right people to help you, ...


32

Overly sexual behavior for kids is abnormal and often a sign of sexual abuse. You must seek professional help, and based on its conclusions, you may have to involve the law.


30

There's a sliding scale It starts out with verbal warning and ends up with being sent to their room, with a whole spectrum of other measures in between. What you can do depends on logistics (are you at home or out and about), whether you have other children to manage at the same time, and energy levels. Here's the scale we use: Verbal Warning. So the ...


20

Our kids push boundaries, alot! My husband and I have tried everything for punishment and have settled on this: bad behavior = corner...immediately Simple rules and simple fast consequences help us be consistent. It starts with 1 min and increases by another minute if: they refuse, they don't stand still, they look around, they talk, they anything. If ...


20

Well, it came from somewhere. Someone, at some point, showed him those things in the best case or did such things to him in the worst case. Can't throw accusations around and it doesn't really matter now - the damage has been done, and must be fixed as soon as possible by professional help as Beofett suggested. What I wanted to add is that in such age this ...


18

The major reason is because you say they do. Our brains are powerful and the placebo effect is real. Some doctors are even prescribing placebos, telling the patients "a number of studies have shown that this pill will help you" (which is true.) If a parent says something will work, it will work. When my daughter was a preschooler her body reacted a lot to ...


18

"Porn" runs a wide gamut of idealized or fantasy scenarios. Many, if not most, of pornographic materials, portray intimate relations in a way that is not typical. I would imagine a pornographic movie that depicts the awkward "getting to know each other" phase, dating, and the social and emotional intimacy that most parents would hope their children would ...


18

First of all, recognize there is a difference between having a favorite, and engaging in favoritism. I think having a favorite is somewhat unavoidable, unless your children all happen to have personalities that mesh equally well with yours. When having a favorite becomes problematic is when you let it affect your words and actions toward your children. ...


17

To quote from The Future of Play Theory: A Multidisciplinary Inquiry into the Contributions of Brian Sutton-Smith: Findings from studies of war toys are diverse, if sparse. War toys have been found to enhance aggression (Sanson and Di Muccio, 1993; Turner and Goldsmith, 1976; Watson and Peng, 1992) reduce aggression (Bonte and Musgrove, ...


16

My wife is religious. I am atheist. Our kids seem fine. They go to church with her and learn bible stories. If they ask me questions, I answer honestly. Usually "well, some people think that, some people don't" I'd say there is little to worry about psychologically. Having MORE religious point of views in a household seems less harmful than only one ...


15

In the following, I'll answer from my perspective as a son of a nonreligious father, and as a nonreligious father myself. Summary: Mixing a Christian and a strong nonbeliever will cause significant tension. Is it that ridiculous to request data to support conclusions one way or the other? Possibly yes. We'd all like to have more solid evidence ...


14

but there are other moments though were I think that we should not be so strict, and just let him.. throw these books Absolutely not. If those books are off limits, then they're always off limits. Not sometimes, whenever you're feeling up to dealing with it. Always. Consistency is key when dealing with children, especially toddlers that are just ...


13

At 10 months some children begin to understand the word no, but many child development theorists, parenting coaches, and other "experts" in the field of caring for and raising children recommend limiting it's use. Here is one perspective on not saying no which suggests common techniques to use instead. A major tactic to use is rephrasing. For example ...


11

My baby's 14 mo. I think it's crucial to divide behavior issues into "danger" and "preference" situations. "Danger" situations Danger gets the most severe reaction. I reserve yelling for truly bad situations (sticking a hand into a fire, trying to get delicious-looking coins out of mommy's purse, etc.). Danger means taking the kid away from the ...


11

To be honest I have some problems with these labels. From what I can tell, we are doing attachment parenting, without having ever heard of it, by just doing what feels right and is easy. It's a natural thing to do. So why attach a label to it? It turns it into some sort of movement, means you have to do it "Just the right way", as described in the books. ...


11

Your daughter is in pain and is expressing that pain the best she can, but usually that's not enough. Sexual assault has psychological repercussions that can last much, much longer than the physical repercussions. Help her contact RAINN or her local rape crisis center, a psychotherapist who specializes in trauma issues, or both. And do it FAST. Do not ...


11

Personally, I find this indicative of a great imagination. I may be totally wrong here, but here goes. I think that your 7 year old son may have come to realize that life in some capacity is finite, that existence can be tenuous, and that what we have can be "taken from us" at any time. This is called "existential anxiety", and everybody goes through it. A ...


10

I handle this simply. When the older child complains about work that the younger child doesn't have to do, I tell her that her younger sister does the same work that she did when she was her younger sisters age. If complaints continue after that, I remind her that she also has privileges that her younger sister doesn't, and if she would like to be "fair", ...


10

First an foremost, we ask our children leading questions to get them to think about what they're doing: Me: "What are you doing?" Child: "I don't know." Me: "Your talking about poop at the table. Do you think that its appropriate to talk about that while we're trying to eat dinner?" Child: "No" Or Me: "What are you doing?" Child: "Talking meanly to my ...


10

A 10-month-old is limited in his understanding of "no" and I would tend to agree with you that hearing it used loudly is probably negative and hearing it often is probably confusing. You might try a softer approach - when he reaches for something he should not, say No in a gentle but firm voice, and pick him up and move him to a more appropriate spot or hand ...


9

When my four-year-old daughter is pushing a boundary, I try to find a penalty that relates to the boundary and that I'm willing to enforce. I then explicitly give her the power to make a choice. For example, "if you use a toy to hit, you are telling me you can't play with that toy anymore." Often this takes some very quick and creative thinking (and ...


9

I think you are reading far too much into this. In fact, I was struggling to see what the problem was. You helped the young kid go potty. He needed help. If he'd poo-ed himself, you would have changed him, right? If he'd fallen down, you'd clean the blood off his knee, right? If you feel uncomfortable about it, you could mention it casually to the parents, ...


9

Apart from the psychological benefits that Chrys mentions (and I believe they are the most powerful part), it does actually reduce the pain response, because you're sending a competing signal (touch) to the same brain area which is processing pain. Rubbing the area helps too, also in adults (there was some research about this, I vaguely remember).


8

Penny Holland, who lectures in Early Childhood Studies at the University of North London, authored a 2000 study on the effects of a zero tolerance policy for war, weapon, and superhero play. Finding that studies that sought to find a causal connection between war and weapon play and aggression in children and later adulthood were unable to prove such a link ...


8

The research referred to on the program was a study out of the Universty of Toronto (by Esme Fuller-Thomson and Angela Dalton) published in Psychiatry Research which "examined gender specific differences among a sample of 6,647 adults, of whom 695 had experienced parental divorce before the age of 18." So they were talking to adults about whether they had ...


8

Porn is, even to adults, the junk food of sex; it is a complete fantasy, and while some of it may be plausible, the primary reason to watch porn is to see something you're not getting in your everyday life. While a certain amount of such escapism is normal and even healthy, it depicts activities that are typically more fun to do than to watch. A few genres ...


8

Regarding the second point, the idea is that it teaches the child to do things in an appropriate setting. Instead of spitting inside, we go outside into the garden and have a game there. It's about positive reinforcement of what you wanted to say anyway. If our kids start chucking stuff around, we tell them that they can go outside and do that which is fine ...


8

I would laugh. Obviously, none of those things are going to happen. It's possible that he's expressing a real concern, but you know that the probability of those occurrences are so low as to be non-existent. Laughing at this concern - or smiling or showing humor in other ways - will show him that he doesn't need to be concerned that terrible things will ...


7

Things you can do right now: get the dogs away from him. Don't tell him you're doing so, don't tell him it's because of how he treated them, but no more access to the dogs stop hitting him. Start to learn how to get through in other ways (it will take a while to learn this and it's hard.) tell the school you want an IEP - Individualized Education Plan - ...



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