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You absolutely need to seek professional help. The fact that he is forcing other children to perform sexual activities indicates that this is a VERY serious problem that you need to address immediately. Try to find a psychologist, councilor, or social worker who specializes in working with children. If they feel they aren't the right people to help you, ...

There's a sliding scale It starts out with verbal warning and ends up with being sent to their room, with a whole spectrum of other measures in between. What you can do depends on logistics (are you at home or out and about), whether you have other children to manage at the same time, and energy levels. Here's the scale we use: Verbal Warning. So the ...

Our kids push boundaries, alot! My husband and I have tried everything for punishment and have settled on this: bad behavior = corner...immediately Simple rules and simple fast consequences help us be consistent. It starts with 1 min and increases by another minute if: they refuse, they don't stand still, they look around, they talk, they anything. If ...

The major reason is because you say they do. Our brains are powerful and the placebo effect is real. Some doctors are even prescribing placebos, telling the patients "a number of studies have shown that this pill will help you" (which is true.) If a parent says something will work, it will work. When my daughter was a preschooler her body reacted a lot to ...

To quote from The Future of Play Theory: A Multidisciplinary Inquiry into the Contributions of Brian Sutton-Smith: Findings from studies of war toys are diverse, if sparse. War toys have been found to enhance aggression (Sanson and Di Muccio, 1993; Turner and Goldsmith, 1976; Watson and Peng, 1992) reduce aggression (Bonte and Musgrove, ...

My wife is religious. I am atheist. Our kids seem fine. They go to church with her and learn bible stories. If they ask me questions, I answer honestly. Usually "well, some people think that, some people don't" I'd say there is little to worry about psychologically. Having MORE religious point of views in a household seems less harmful than only one ...

In the following, I'll answer from my perspective as a son of a nonreligious father, and as a nonreligious father myself. Summary: Mixing a Christian and a strong nonbeliever will cause significant tension. Is it that ridiculous to request data to support conclusions one way or the other? Possibly yes. We'd all like to have more solid evidence ...

but there are other moments though were I think that we should not be so strict, and just let him.. throw these books Absolutely not. If those books are off limits, then they're always off limits. Not sometimes, whenever you're feeling up to dealing with it. Always. Consistency is key when dealing with children, especially toddlers that are just ...

Well, it came from somewhere. Someone, at some point, showed him those things in the best case or did such things to him in the worst case. Can't throw accusations around and it doesn't really matter now - the damage has been done, and must be fixed as soon as possible by professional help as Beofett suggested. What I wanted to add is that in such age this ...

To be honest I have some problems with these labels. From what I can tell, we are doing attachment parenting, without having ever heard of it, by just doing what feels right and is easy. It's a natural thing to do. So why attach a label to it? It turns it into some sort of movement, means you have to do it "Just the right way", as described in the books. ...

I handle this simply. When the older child complains about work that the younger child doesn't have to do, I tell her that her younger sister does the same work that she did when she was her younger sisters age. If complaints continue after that, I remind her that she also has privileges that her younger sister doesn't, and if she would like to be "fair", ...

My baby's 14 mo. I think it's crucial to divide behavior issues into "danger" and "preference" situations. "Danger" situations Danger gets the most severe reaction. I reserve yelling for truly bad situations (sticking a hand into a fire, trying to get delicious-looking coins out of mommy's purse, etc.). Danger means taking the kid away from the ...

Apart from the psychological benefits that Chrys mentions (and I believe they are the most powerful part), it does actually reduce the pain response, because you're sending a competing signal (touch) to the same brain area which is processing pain. Rubbing the area helps too, also in adults (there was some research about this, I vaguely remember).

When my four-year-old daughter is pushing a boundary, I try to find a penalty that relates to the boundary and that I'm willing to enforce. I then explicitly give her the power to make a choice. For example, "if you use a toy to hit, you are telling me you can't play with that toy anymore." Often this takes some very quick and creative thinking (and ...

First an foremost, we ask our children leading questions to get them to think about what they're doing: Me: "What are you doing?" Child: "I don't know." Me: "Your talking about poop at the table. Do you think that its appropriate to talk about that while we're trying to eat dinner?" Child: "No" Or Me: "What are you doing?" Child: "Talking meanly to my ...

I think you are reading far too much into this. In fact, I was struggling to see what the problem was. You helped the young kid go potty. He needed help. If he'd poo-ed himself, you would have changed him, right? If he'd fallen down, you'd clean the blood off his knee, right? If you feel uncomfortable about it, you could mention it casually to the parents, ...

I would add to Kevin's answer about the younger child complaining about the older child's privileges. We have 'rules' in our house, for example when you are 8 you get an email, after 4 you may not ride in a stroller, when you are in first grade you get... They are happy to know that the rules are the same for all of them, and are age based, so everyone is ...

Penny Holland, who lectures in Early Childhood Studies at the University of North London, authored a 2000 study on the effects of a zero tolerance policy for war, weapon, and superhero play. Finding that studies that sought to find a causal connection between war and weapon play and aggression in children and later adulthood were unable to prove such a link ...

Children will actively explore any boundaries that you give them. This can feel like a constant battle if you let it, but I think it's mostly a way to establish certainty—which I think they crave. They'll explore thier parameters, but you have to remember that they don't start off very smart. Which means that early on, they'll try a forbidden behavior ...

Your friend's case is unusual, maybe the result of something like obsessive compulsive disorder. In general, kids are much more resilient and adaptable than adults usually give them credit for. When you change something on them, they explore their boundaries under the new set of circumstances in an almost methodical way if you stop to observe. This can ...

Ouch! Tough scenario. You're right that it's indicative of low self-esteem, or at least a desire for asserting control and power. I know that some schools have done very well with bullies by simply giving them responsibility, if they are in charge of taking care of the school pet or a similar small responsibility, their motives are directed towards the ...

I have a five year old and a three year old, and the five year old is starting with the "That's not fair" routine. This is unorthodox, but I don't actually respond to this with a privilege/responsibility thing. I'm pretty clear with my 5 year old that life is almost never fair or just. What I tend to say is "It still needs to be done." As in "She made the ...

Piaget's developmental stage theory, despite its wide-ranging impact on education, is highly questionable today in many respects. His research methods were erroneous, and there is plenty of evidence that his overly rigid stage concept is wrong. Milestones based on the theory are also questionable, and in any event general milestones cannot be used to ...

It sounds as though he may be playing off of your reactions, to a degree. When kids have something serious happen to them, they take their cue from the adults around them-like when they fall... if you tell them to dust off (while checking to make sure everything's ok) and then have them go play they will react differently than if you say... be careful, ...

In addition to the answers given above, bear in mind that one of the reasons they are crying in the first place is because they want attention. When you give them the kiss they are receiving the attention they are seeking, so stop crying. You can see evidence of this by watching kids playing in playgrounds. Often a child who has bumped themselves will check ...

I think you're right to discuss things and not avoid the topic. Just as with adults, children can find it easier to deal with situations if they understand what is happening and why. When my 2-year-old was throwing up and had to have an exam and x-rays, we explained that the doctor was going to help. We used age-appropriate explanations. During the exam and ...

As Dave said, this shouldn't be seen as embarrassing or awkward. To a child that age it isn't- they know they need some help and you are someone who can help, so they don't read anything else into it. As they get older you can see their bodily awareness grow until all of a sudden they stop doing things like this, but at this age just accept that you have ...

Boundaries on behavior are important at any age after infancy. Set them and stick to them. Children are very keen on parents giving in. Even though it is easier to give in sometimes, it will only make things more difficult later. Note that boundaries are not the same as expectations. Boundaries are the minimum requirements for behavior in your child's ...

Like you, our son reacted to time out (naughty step) as if it was fun. I don't think he did enjoy it, I think he was pushing back at us - indicating that he didn't accept the power we were exerting. It made me think about punishment. The book 'How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk' says that punishment can distract from learning ...

Abstract thinking requires practice. While Piaget's theories about child development are somewhat reliable for young children, the wheels tend to come off the Piaget bus when it comes to abstract thinking and when different people acquire abstract thinking skills. New research now tells us that the adult brain is not really fully developed until well into a ...