Hot answers tagged primary-schooler
43
You absolutely need to seek professional help.
The fact that he is forcing other children to perform sexual activities indicates that this is a VERY serious problem that you need to address immediately.
Try to find a psychologist, councilor, or social worker who specializes in working with children. If they feel they aren't the right people to help you, ...
30
Encourage her! Ask her, What do you think is the reason?
I think it's a sign of excellent perception that she realizes that other people do things that she would not do, or that she would do differently. She is trying to understand her world, and she wants your help to make her able to "read others' minds" (make her understand their way of thought).
Let ...
14
It is important to recognize that even though we, as adults, know that there are no such things as ghosts, to the child they are real. And no amount of logic will convince them otherwise. You have to accept, for a while, that what they think is real, is actually real, and then you can deal with making it not scary.
So rather than trying to reverse their ...
14
There is nothing wrong with his mind. The first time I fell in love was before my 4th birthday. I fell in love all the time in the following years, both with girls I hadn't previously known and with girls I had known for some time.
There is nothing wrong with him telling you about this experience, either. On the contrary.
The only thing that slightly ...
12
Well, it came from somewhere. Someone, at some point, showed him those things in the best case or did such things to him in the worst case.
Can't throw accusations around and it doesn't really matter now - the damage has been done, and must be fixed as soon as possible by professional help as Beofett suggested.
What I wanted to add is that in such age this ...
11
There are many reasons for prioritizing social development over academics. Just letting kids be kids-- learning social skills in an environment where they feel accepted-- is a critical part of development.
If your child is happy at their current school, and their friends are nice kids - easy going, well mannered, the type of personalities that you don't ...
10
Oh gosh. You want your son to be motivated by rewards, rather by the intrinsic value of something? (Basically, your child has a stronger sense of dignity than he has an interest in whatever rewards you are offering. I'd be thanking my lucky stars.) Besides, What happens when he is an adult? How will he keep his room clean if no one is there to give him ...
9
Kids go through periods where sleep is hard to come by from time to time.
I would suggest taking a few steps with him.
First. Does he have a routine for bed-time still? They still need a calming ritual. My own daughter is allowed to read to herself for about twenty minutes and then she has to turn the light out to try sleeping.
Next,
Ask him what ...
7
These kind of stories are meant to scare children - the child collector from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the wicked witch, Grimm fairy tales, Doctor Who - we have a rich history of scary stories for kids.
The problem isn't the being scared - it's actually a good healthy part of growing up. The thing to do is not try to persuade your child that they shouldn't ...
7
From moving various schools myself when I was younger I would say that changing schools is a very big upset to learning - the child takes time to make new friends, settle in, understand the new curriculum etc.
If you can supplement their learning at home I would recommend doing that - being a teacher you will probably be in a good place here to see what ...
7
@Cara, this is not a problem with him, it's a problem with your parenting style. It sounds like you are trying to control every aspect of his life and smothering him with advice, demands, rewards, and punishments. He is confused and frustrated at not being able to control anything about his life, so he does the one thing that gives him control: he refuses to ...
7
I would start out by handling primary-schooler tantrums the same way as toddler tantrums -- basically, don't let his tantrums succeed.
Immediate and natural consequence. Deny him whatever it was he threw the tantrum over, end your current activity, abort your planned activity, or whatever else is appropriate.
Don't give in, ever. A tantrum never wins. He ...
7
I think StyxRiver's answer is spot-on, but I wanted to add a couple of things:
You need to have him tested. You've obviously had him tested for intelligence or something of that matter, but even the most intelligent people can have learning disabilities. You can't begin to help him until you get to the root of his problem. He may have ADD or ADHD or he ...
7
This may be a combination of enjoying being at home (which isn't a bad thing!), and not particularly enjoying something about preschool. I don't think that trying to reduce her home fun time is necessarily going to help (it could increase her overall anxiety level). Try having some conversations about what her preschool experiences are like. Does she feel ...
6
This is an interesting question and one I have pondered off and on even though my oldest is only 4 and a few years off before we even start the cell phone discussion. An interesting article here talks about it.
Most moms surveyed for the article indicated that the primary reasons for getting their kids cell phones were: safety, security, and convenience, ...
6
Punishing him for not not sleeping is entirely the wrong way to go! If he's not sleeping maybe he's not tired, or he's being woken by something in his environment. Punishing him will a) (if done on the spot at the time he's not sleeping) reinforce the behavior by giving him attention, b) make him feel like something is wrong, making it harder for him to ...
6
(As a preliminary matter, we don't do Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, etc. in our house, but I don't see anything wrong with them.)
Fostering myths about make-believe creatures like the tooth fairy is a form of lying, traditional and cute though it may be at the time. I understand your question to be based on worrying that the more in-depth lie involved in ...
6
My own opinion is that there's a big gulf between "don't maliciously spoil a young child's magical beliefs" and "actively manufacture false evidence for an older child." I consider good critical thinking skills important, and 8 is not too young to start flexing those cognitive muscles. I want my son to always know that for anything he asks me, he can count ...
6
It is my belief that facts are only memorized when there is a motivation to do so, and that by far the best motivation is relevance to something the individual cares about. Thus memorizing facts on their own is hard, but doing interesting problems which require those facts will lead to natural memorization through repetition.
Therefore I would recommend ...
6
My son had similar issues, we tried everything during the school year. We have extremely helpful teachers, staff, administration, the best group of people I could've asked for. Nothing helped get him on track for longer than a few hours. He was also suspended multiple times his kindergarten year. Eventually we had him diagnosed with ADHD.
He was put on a ...
5
Answer the questions to the best of your ability. Model empathy. Guess what the people are thinking. Explain why they might be doing something that is against your family's values. Use it as a teachable moment. Reflect the question back at your daughter. Get her to guess first and compare your guesses.
It is only through experience and practice that a ...
5
We're struggling with similar questions ourselves. Our children are still in grade school and we made a cross country move this year. One of our kids adopted wonderfully and is happy both academically and socially. The other has been struggling with both. We're fortunate to have a few school options (albeit at a cost given they are private schools).
What I ...
5
I have to agree with Rory. I am 31 years old and I cannot watch horror films (seriously, the last horror film I watched was Thirteen Ghosts which many horror enthusiasts assure me is one of the absolute worst horror films ever made, but after I watched that movie I swore off of them altogether because I didn't sleep for days--and I was probably 25 when I ...
5
I have the same basic criteria for everything like that:
Did they ask?
Have they demonstrated an ability to handle the responsibility?
For a phone, the second point would be demonstrated by showing they can take care of other prized possessions, i.e. not leaving them where my daughter can run them over with her wheelchair, etc.
The other factor to ...
5
The tried and tested method that seems to have been the standard amongst all my friends when they were kids is that the pet has gone to a farm out in the country where they have a great time chasing animals etc.
This is all very well, and simple when the child is young, but once they get up to 7 or 8, I am of the opinion that it is better to start being ...
5
Questions like this come up all the time, and my general approach once they are at this sort of age is to have a fairly adult conversation with them to discuss:
All the chores that need doing
How many my things wife and I have to do - including things like working 10 hours a day to pay for house, education, cars etc... as well as chores like tidying the ...
5
What kind of practice are you trying? One of the key components of techniques like the Suzuki method is to have one parent sit down with the child during practice sessions. The point is that the child will want to do it if the parent shows some interest in the child's activity. If you just tell then to practice, turn on an egg timer, and then walk away ...
5
I also have an 8-year old boy. Though he doesn't behave as extremely as yours, I can certainly extrapolate.
bed wetting: Get a good mattress protector and don't worry about it. It already affects him with natural consequences (both in discomfort and embarrassment) so you should just love and support him. If he's doing it to "punish" you, not letting it ...
5
I would just follow through more and not accept the "I'll remember next time" as an answer.
"Well, clearly that's not working. So let's try something new. What would help you remember?"
You could offer up some solutions, and let her pick one. Try it for a week. If it's not working, back to the drawing board.
And, when she's agreed to do something, like if ...
5
My 5-year-old son was expelled from kindergarden after about a month this last Fall. Our pediatrician advised us to get a free psychological exam from the district. The doctor diagnosed him with Oppositional Defiance Disorder or ODD. We were loath to medicate him.
The most effective advice we've gotten for dealing with ODD has been from this book. The ...
Only top voted, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible
