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140

Let's start with: how do i discipline her You don't. What would you be disciplining her for? Because she said she loves a boy? That's perfectly normal for a child her age to have a crush, and while children that age don't understand romantic love enough to know the difference between a crush and love, that's not a reason to seek to discipline them. ...


39

How do I deal with the situation? How do I discipline her? I think a lot of people are equating "discipline" to "punishment", when that isn't necessarily the case. Unfortunately your question doesn't tell us much about your values or parenting style, so I can only provide a few comments and possible directions you might go in. Summary She doesn't ...


31

I just found out that my daughter wrote in her diary... How did you find that out? Did she tell you it was written in there? Did you read it when she expects it to not be read? If you allow your child to have a diary and tell her that these are her private thoughts, and then you invade her private thoughts without telling her, you are giving her the ...


30

I would say that teaching children about a healthy diet is a great first step. But on the same note, some of the foods that are really healthy (whole grains, deep green vegetables) are gassy foods. As for gas sneaking out during practice. I (late 20s) take an adult (mom-grandma ages) yoga class and sometimes during those stretches gas sneaks out. I ...


29

My unpopular opinion is it's not your call to make. Your child is definitely old enough to know if he wants to see his father or not. If he's not in any actual danger, I think a parent has every right to see their child. If you're concerned about a negative impact, then supervised visits may be best. I can say that I personally had a father that was in and ...


27

If she's asking you which bits need work and why, that's a sign she's open to criticism, and that she trusts you to provide it. The thing about criticizing creative work is you want to be as specific as possible. "This part needs rewriting" is a completely useless criticism. If she knew how to rewrite it better, chances are she would have already done it. ...


24

The key to getting a reluctant practiser to practise anything (a musical instrument, reading, physical exercise, whatever) is to change from: Time for you to go practise X! to OK, time for us to do your X! I don't mean stand over him with a timer and glare to ensure he doesn't stop at 9 minutes 30 seconds. I mean you show your enthusiasm for the ...


22

There is not very much detail here and so it makes it difficult to know exactly why you're worried about this situation. In general, I would not worry. [If it turns out that the boy in question is (a) significantly older or (b) pressuring/forcing her into the idea of being in love, then do be concerned (but don't blame her).] My daughter (also 10) has had ...


19

I think perhaps you should re-assess what your expectations should be for an 8 year old both in writing quality and in capacity for taking criticism. I know few, if any 8 year olds who can take criticism in the way some adults can, and fewer still who have any self-criticism at all. There can be a significant difference in quality between what kids produce ...


14

I think you're being wise here. Acknowledge your son's true feelings of love and admiration for his playmate. But to have him express these feelings might cause some discomfort in someone in whom the feelings aren't reciprocated. As he has asked what he should do, you are giving him good advice. I would explain the consequences you mention in a gentle and ...


13

To me, the most complicated part of this is explaining a) why you don't want to forgive, or trust (or both) your uncle, and b) why you don't trust your mother's judgement on the matter enough to allow her to see your son. (Not that I'm questioning either element - you know the situation - but explaining the above to your child.) Presumably your child has ...


12

Without more information about your legal status, we won't be able to give a fitting answer. However, I will try based on the given information. "We need not destroy the past. It is gone." - John Cage If there is no indication the father has had a bad influence on him or might expose him to the wrong people, I can't find any cause for your son not ...


11

I would provide much less information to your children than you have listed here. It would go something like this. Uncle Joe has a problem in his head and he hurts people on purpose. Not just people, but children like you. I won't allow him near you in case he decides to hurt you. (Optionally: it's a very small chance, but even a small chance is too ...


11

Insisting, forcing him to do something will most likely not work in the long term. Yes, he may improve, but it'd be much much better if he wanted to improve. You should talk to your son, ask him whether he wants to learn to play well or not. If he doesn't - I think you shouldn't force him. I admit that he will eventually learn, but it'll cost him much and ...


11

It's possible that she is just being dramatic and doesn't actually intend to hurt herself. If so, great, but there's likely still some truth to what she said: she feels like she isn't getting attention, and/or she feels like she isn't valued and loved. The fact that she's been increasingly sensitive to criticism indicates this if nothing else. However, it's ...


11

Is this a problem? My personal feeling is that, yes it is. The issue here is one potentially of child abuse -- not your children, but of M. I would question whether M has been subjected to inappropriate requests, or even subject to CSE. It could actually be nothing, but if M is being abused at home or elsewhere it could save M years of hurt if things were ...


10

I would get him to play more on days when he is does not have sport or late finishes, and get him just to do a couple of scales or something on days when he has more on. As he starts playing for longer he'll also start enjoying it more as he'll start becoming more creative.


10

Without exception, every adult I know who took piano as a kid but no longer plays, including some who were quite talented, had it turned into a chore by their parents. It is absolutely essential to find a way to keep it fun. So I would make your busiest days fun days, where you still expect him to play, but let him play whatever he wants. It might ...


9

I think the question needs to be asked... what is the purpose of these letters? I honestly have a hard time imagining a situation where this could be justified for such trivial purposes as you mentioned. There is a psychotherapy technique that involves a similar method, but that's a different question entirely... and such things should probably involve ...


8

What a horrible dilemma! As I see it, your problem comprises three distinct elements: Your mother has little or no sense of what reasonable boundaries consist of. She also lies when it suits her purposes, and for some reason has prioritized her relationship with her son over the safety of her grandchildren Your uncle has even less sense of boundaries than ...


8

Aliel, this is obviously very painful for you and for your son, but I think you might be over-reacting to the situation. From what you've written above, these are some of the assumptions you seem to be making, which I think may not be justified: That your 5-year-old son's perception that his teacher is victimising him means that the teacher actually is ...


7

First of all, keep in mind that many if not most children are not really developmentally ready for formal academics until age 7 or so. I don't know where you're located, but here in the U.S., recent academic standards are set mostly by politicians, and don't always line up very well with early childhood research. It used to be that schools didn't even ...


7

This sort of thing is really common. My 8 year old has been training at half marathon distance (walking, jogging and running) for 6 months now. Her idea - she's raising money for a charity helping one of her friends. My eldest two have been doing triathlons since the age of 9 or so, and again, all their own idea. They were given the option of full training ...


7

keeping your children physically active will greatly help their ability to sit still and concentrate. This has been shown scientifically in study after study. "Regular exercise releases brain chemicals key for memory, concentration, and mental sharpness [...] exercise also stimulates brain regions that are involved in memory function to release a chemical ...


7

I was a depressed child. I didn't like myself much until I was in college. Childhood depression is often ignored and marginalized but it is still real depression (people often minimize it- suggesting that children never have anything to feel depressed about as they have few responsibilities and are given a lot of indulgences). What I would do if I were in ...


6

The best defense is a good offense. This is a statement reflecting a trait called self preservation. I am not a psychologist, but a Family Physician, so please take everything I say as theory, not gospel. Your 6 year old son is dependent on his mother (and you) for a lot of very fundamental things: food, clothing, shelter, safety, alleviation of ...


6

Toilet timing? Would that help? You send him to the toilet at regular times when you think he has to do a poo. I can recognize when my daughter has to, for instance, but I can't see on my other kids, so maybe you wouldn't recognize the signs neither. In that case, maybe first during a week or so you would have to write on a paper the times when your boy ...


6

Anyone have any thoughts on this? My thoughts: Bella has gone through a lot and is facing more change. She is 6 years old. She needs some people to love her, to hear her, and to react lovingly. By lovingly, I don't mean ignoring her exaggerations, which are clearly an attempt to get attention. By lovingly, I mean doing the hard work of looking at our ...


6

I'm going to add a little contrast to the other answers. I think you should insist, but carefully. Focus on having your son set goals, encouraging your son / being there for him, setting a routine, and possibly finding a better teacher. I have been playing the piano for more than 10 years, and I never would have made it this far if my parents did not ...


5

Please forgive my posting anonymously, but I think I might be in a unique position to answer this. Without going into too many gory details about my family history, my mother found out she was married to A Very Bad Man and, immediately, left him, taking my sister, her three-year-old daughter, with her. I was born later, in her second marriage, and growing ...



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