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34

How about trampolining? It's very similar to gymnastics so he can probably use many of the skills he's picked up there. It involves lots of bouncing up and falling back down again as well as moves which involve falling on the front or back. Also a good variation on swimming that might appeal more to his love of falling down is diving. He can do this from ...


28

Experiencing failure at something (or even success but not being the best) and finding that it's OK, and even something can help him find ways to improve and be better in the future, would help. Rock climbing, with appropriate safety measures, can teach a lot here (as can some other sports). Reframing not even trying as failure might help too. If he ...


28

I've got a hard time explaining the motives of the terrorists. I don't know whether this is the best article on the subject (it's near the top of this Google search) but for example What Motivates Terrorists? starts with, One of the most frequently asked questions about terrorism is also the most intractable. Why? Why do they do it? Why do people ...


27

I would recommend without hesitation Judo. Not only would he fall often, he would learn to fall properly.


26

I'm going to skip over the entire religious part of the question and answer what you should do about the much simpler part: If a teacher physically assaulted your son over a verbal debate, you should take legal steps. This person is unfit to be a teacher. You should talk to a lawyer.


21

Yeah, normal. Some things that work in our family: Appreciate that they're tired straight after school and might need some quiet time and space. Ask them specific questions about things that you already know a bit about, e.g. "What did Ms Smith think of your cat drawing?" (instead of "What did your teacher tell you today?") "Did you play with Johnny ...


15

Diving is all about falling with style. If he finds the activities you listed boring, I suspect that he will enjoy the adrenaline rush from the height.


15

Your child needs professional help. He's caused severe injury to two other children and nearly murdered a third. Talk to your pediatrician immediately and get a referral for a psychiatric evaluation before he causes more harm.


14

We all sometimes think that a kid will be more happy with things like gaming consoles and free time and no curfew and junk food. But I have a nagging suspicion that this is a classic example of what is far more important to a kid for their emotional well-being. It seems like expressing love comes readily to you. Even expressing to your step-son that his ...


14

A mistake a lot of parents make is saying "Stop that. I said stop that. Stop that at once. If you don't stop that we're going home now. Stop it. I said stop that ...." on and on infinitum without actually doing anything. As far as the child is concerned its just meaningless background noise. Does this sound familiar? If so, then you are right in ...


14

This is the line I've taken, for better or worse... Like in school we trust teachers to be telling the truth about things in lessons. The people who attacked France, were told lies by their teachers but they really, really believe them - they think that we're bad people and they're good. So they want us to live their way. The way they were taught tells ...


14

Speaking as a Dad to two children, of which only one shares my DNA: The can of worms is now open, so you best get to putting a real and honest spin on things to your boy. And do it in a way that he won't ever feel like he was lied to. My oldest boy's bio-dad had no interest in being a parent. They have met, but not until my boy was 16. I facilitated that. ...


13

I'm a parent governor in a UK primary school, with a daughter just started reception and another daughter higher up the school, who was reading before she started reception (so I've been in a similar situation). I've been a school governor for about 4 years so I have a pretty good idea how British primary schools work. We're in England; from your profile ...


12

It may have a poor cultural connection where ever you are, but no one has yet suggested: skateboarding. Not scootering or some other watered down variation, but the unforgiving plank with wheels. It's creative, very difficult and takes an exceptionally phenomenal amount of physical fitness[1] as well as technicality, balance and precision. Moreover all it ...


12

Things that worked for us: Give the child a little time to relax after school, get a snack, etc. They may be more willing to talk after some down time. Ask specific questions. For example, instead of "What did you do today?", which has a long list of items to recite, try something like "What was the best thing that happened today?" Still requires more ...


12

We moved with three kids ages 1-4 from Germany (your name sounds German, so this may be relevant). We were lucky enough to find a pre-school program that was for kids whose first language was neither English, Spanish or Portuguese (large Brazilian population). It worked great and within a year or so the kids were perfectly bilingual for their age. Kid #2 ...


11

You have my sympathy. Having one child with encopresis is awful. I can't really imagine accurately what it's like to have two children with this problem. Parents of children with idiopathic constipation often blame themselves and their toilet training problems (which were often present). First a quick reassurance: a rectal examination finding stool in the ...


11

You are not expected to love your new graddaughter the same as your first one. But you are expected to love her for what she is: a beautiful loving child (your own words). That means she is an individual that has a right to be seen as such. She is not an incumberance or a distraction that comes between your first grandchild and you, but an addition. ...


10

say "let's find out together". Then collect some different magnets, some magnetic and non magnetic items, something the magnetism can be transferred to (screw driver or pin). Some type of compass building items would be nice too. Metal shaving would be nice for showing the magnetic field. Then do experiments, when possible have your child guess the outcome ...


10

If he's afraid of not being the best at everything, I'd teach him about specialization. Point out how silly it would be if we had doctors building roads and bridges, or firemen teaching classes at school, or chefs playing baseball on TV! (Wait for him to laugh at the mental image.) People have things that they're good at, and things that they're not good ...


10

My daughter went through this, and it took a few years until she was old enough to articulate what made her sad about the old photos and stories. While we were all reminiscing and fawning over her cutest, most-precious photos and the priceless moments of days gone by, what she was hearing was that she was no longer so "baby cute" and how we missed having ...


9

In some ways this might be considered a healthier reaction than punching other things. It shows that she is trying to control herself, but she doesn't know how. My son had anger issues and it helped when we got him one of those inflatable punching buddies. We made sure he understood that it was absolutely okay for him to punch it as much and as hard as he ...


9

Have you considered Capoeira? It's a cross between dance and martial arts that involves quite a bit of playful acrobatics and falling. Here are a couple samples from YouTube, which give a flavor of the sport: Adult Performance and Children's Competition. Your son is blessed to have a dad who looks for an activity in which he can express who he is!


9

They live in another state and do not come to see me. While your son and his daughter have had time to bond with your new granddaughter, you have not. Of course your granddaughter is much (more) beloved by you. But you have an opportunity to show your son that you love him by loving and accepting the people he loves. Also, doing anything less will put ...


8

Your son sounds totally normal. He has his group of friends and one of them is a better friend than the others. Personally, I have my friends and then I have some friends who are closer than others. I would be willing to bet you do too. So that part is totally normal. The fact that he gets upset when he can't go play with this friend seems normal too. ...


8

This could very well be related to the work of Carol Dweck. While her work is fascinating and nuanced, the TL;DR is that children praised for intelligence restrict themselves to endeavors the think are likely to succeed, shying away from any activities they might be less than a stellar success at (citing the same fears as your colleague's son). Children ...


8

I'm just going to throw this out there. You say that he enjoys your reading to him. It reminds me of how I got my kids to start reading. My husband and I read to our kids daily and at also at bedtime, so stories were important to them. But they would only read short storybooks. For each, I would find books I thought they would like. I would read the first ...


7

Disclaimer I have seen some rough stuff. That means that part of this letter is written essentially speaking to those other people that I knew. The things that I'm going to say are good for them. I hope you are not as lost as they were. It will make the suggestions even more effective. If you happen to be less damaged/lost then some of the content of ...


7

It breaks my heart to hear how badly things have gone between you and your ex-wife--this has no doubt been a VERY difficult time for your daughter (and you). Even an amicable separation is hard on kids, due to (at the very least) a significant reduction in the time they spend with their parents. Let's face it: even if the time is spent with each parent ...


7

There are two parts to this, what you can do with your stepson and what you can do with his father. With Your Stepson First, I would explain to him (like you have been doing) that his biological father loves him and cares for him and that his father is part of your son's family. For better or worse, we don't get to pick our biological family members. And ...



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