Tag Info

New answers tagged

1

Speaking as a person from an extended family whose religion is different from my own, I think you have to decide whether you want to bring out into the forefront the fact that you have "strayed from the faith". In my case, my family is Catholic and I'm Protestant. Our cases are similar; Catholics don't believe anyone is going to heaven unless they are ...


2

A great way not to offend religious attendees would be to adopt a religion yourself, preferably one that isn't culturally compatible with theirs. This might help others refrain from procuring gifts of their own religion, whilst not offending them all the same: My wife and I would like to thank you for attending. We would like to use this opportunity to ...


5

"No religious gifts thanks!" I don't know what your friends are like, but I think many religious people would not be offended by knowing your preferences.


8

The title of your post "How can I..." asks a slightly different question from the content, "should we say..." I will answer the latter. In a word, no. You should not mention it. Look at your fundamental motivation. You want to avoid causing your friends and family to waste money. That is an admirable desire, but how your extended family does or doesn't ...


3

Hmm, if you have to have things for a baby, I would recommend a gift list for the baby, along with the following : Donations to baby college fund A donation to a hospital of gifts for newborns and moms in need. All gift-givers can either get gifts from the gift list , or even donate to the fund, since the child would want to get to a good college one ...


4

Possibly something along the lines of: Gift are welcome, but not necessary. If you do wish to bring a gift, please consider something from our Baby Shower Registry or a contribution to the baby college fund.


3

Money to start the college fund is a simple gesture that crosses all of the boundaries and leaves everyone unoffended. Not to mention, it is always the perfect size, regardless of who and where it comes from.


39

As the other answers suggested, it's very likely that whatever you put will come of as weird. Still, it's an honest and reasonable sentiment, so it's kind of frustrating that it can't be expressed as such. Here's my best effort (to be placed in relatively small print at the bottom of the invitation): Gifts are welcome, but not necessary. If you would like ...


8

If you have a registry, I assume that you will simply not include religious items on it. If people mostly buy from the registry, problem solved. I think it would be rude to say you don't want a certain type of gift, whether that is religious or whatever. Like if you said, "Please, no orange shirts, because I hate the color orange", I think that would be ...


21

I personally don't think it's polite to invite people to a celebration while telling them how they should and shouldn't gift you. While I am not an atheist, I would still be somewhat taken aback by that kind of announcement on an invitation. The gifts at celebrations are certainly appreciated, and baby showers in particular are supposed to be oriented ...


24

I don't think you can really tactfully put it on the invitation. In fact, many would say the invitation shouldn't refer to gifts at all. Registries are quite often communicated by family members and not the invitation - although I find that silly, personally, and certainly would add it to mine. However, what I would typically do is ask your parents or ...


0

Initially parents say some kind of "innocent" lie to children and when children grow older parents become puzzled why children speak innocent lies to parents. For parents it's can be hard to understand that they taught their children to lie.


1

I don't think there are any consequences to having Santa in your christmas routine-but that's just my own experience. When I was young, my siblings and I all believed in santa. It never hurt any of us. In elementary school, it became sort of a 'rite of passage' in knowing wether or not Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairie, ect. were real or not. When ...


1

What would the negative effects be if you never tell them Santa exists? Of course there is the risk that your kid will tell other kids that do believe in Santa about it, but I think this could be easily handled. Could it? I didn't grow up with the myth of Santa in my house, although I did grow up in America. I found out about Santa in 1st grade. It ...


1

Lying to children about Santa Claus, or anything else, teaches them an important truth: that their parents, grandparents, or other caregivers can't be trusted, and that trust is a thing to be given only to those who have proved worthy of it. However, I preferred to let others teach this lesson. The world is full of liars, so parents don't really have to do ...


4

My own childhood experience may illustrate a way that the figure of Father Christmas (as we would call him in the UK) can be introduced to children without the necessity of telling untruths (for any value of untruth). In my family we have a tradition of leaving stockings (very large ones) at the end of the bed on Christmas Eve and then having them filled in ...


2

Before I was born my parents decided to never lie to us children about anything. The only trust in my family I have ever lost is when my grandfather was dying his memory went and I quit trusting him to take messages. I know I can trust my family completely. I value this much more than anything santa may have brought.


3

If you earnestly lie to your children about Santa, you are lieing. Don't lie to your kids. If you have a make-believe game with them about Santa, you are playing with them in the way that they are perfectly accustomed to playing all the time. Let's play trucks, lets play cowboys and indians (OK, that's not PC anymore these days), let's play ... ...


3

I have no idea of the actual magnitude of the effect of lying to offspring about Santa Claus. It's almost certainly impossible to figure, and to me the magnitude of any given lie was irrelevant. What concerned me originally, within a few months after my daughter's birth, was the simple realization that a good portion of things commonly told to children by ...


6

Don't lie to your children about Santa. Just don't. You won't destroy the "magic of christmas". Kids can have lots of fun with make-pretend without being lied to that its real. My brother and I were raised in a Christmas-lie free household. We got presents, and Easter eggs, and all the other fun parts, and we knew they came from our parents or assorted ...


8

My experience was a bit different from most. I found out, at age seven, on a bus full of other kids on the way to school the day after Christmas vacation ended. I remember a burning sense of shame, and of betrayal. Shame for being so "stupid" as to have believed a lie, and betrayal toward parents who had put me in the situation where I had half a bus full ...


5

In addition to the great answers covering how you portray Santa, I'll add something related that's worth thinking about, regardless of when you address the reality. How you handle the revelation is very important, also. Be aware of your child's personality, and be prepared for several different eventualities. If your child is a "rules" child - teacher's ...


2

Christmas is a selfless holiday where we give presents to others and don't need to mention it's from us. Being that Christmas is a Christian holiday, Christianity teaches selflessness. When Jesus died on the cross, he spoke to the Father (God.) Jesus' death was a selfless sacrifice (God's will) for the greater good of humanity, and instead of ascribing the ...


3

A dozen different answers an a dozen different opinions. I have two kids who believed in Santa until about ages 8 and 7 (younger one got hints from the older one) and all I can say is that they were just thrilled with the idea when they believed and were not disappointed at all when they found out the truth. It was more like a funny teasing. There were ...


1

From the way that you phrased your opening statement, it sounds like you feel that the revelation of the truth of Santa Claus has to be a negative thing, that feelings of betrayal and distrust are an inevitability. I think that it depends a lot upon the way your family celebrates Christmas and the level of deception. For some families, Santa Claus is the ...


2

At a high level, even though truthfulness is very important for ethics, there are certain situations where it is ethically expected, acceptable, better or necessary to intentionally deceive someone. a ruse or feint in war undercover detective work a magic trick a feint in most games or sports a disguise or costume in a play concealing a surprise party ...


33

There is no need to lie. Telling the "Jedi truth" is a different matter. I remember, back in college, turning on the TV and listening to some bible-thumper tell me that we shouldn't tell our children about Santa Claus, because we're eventually going to have to tell them that he's fake. And then...maybe Jesus is fake?!? I'm Christian, so this really got ...


35

Is lying worse than the good aspects? Aren't the negative things it brings (telling them the truth eventually) worse than the good things? No. Children experience the world differently than adults, due to their incomplete knowledge. It may, in fact, be harder for some children to understand that my daily departure from home for many hours is what ...


25

I somewhat like Pratchett's take on the question "You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable." REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE. "Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—" YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT ...


6

Part of a child's reaction upon finding out that Santa isn't real depends on how you talk about him. If you talk about him with using a lot of fantasy and whimsey and a kind of wink in your eye, they'll figure it out soon enough, because in real life, reindeer don't fly any better than pigs. If you also read other mythological stories, for example, we read ...


46

It's absolutely possible to give kids presents on Christmas without bringing Santa into the picture. (Indeed, even in families whose holiday tradition includes Santa, there are almost always presents where the tag says "From Grandma" or "From Uncle Tim", not "From Santa".) Interestingly, even if you don't tell your kids about Santa, it's possible they will ...



Top 50 recent answers are included