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44

Don't bring a gift; don't call and ask This is an opportunity to teach your son three very important lessons: 1. Your beliefs are not more important than their beliefs. While it may be tempting to give the gift anyway, or try to persuade them to accept the gift, that really isn't respecting their beliefs. If you give the gift, you're forcing your belief ...


36

I would suggest handing the gift over privately before or after the party. That way you don't make other parents feel bad that they didn't bring a gift, or feel like you are sucking up, or whatever weird social dynamics can result when one person brings a present and everyone else doesn't. Don't expect to be around when the cousin opens the present since it ...


17

Re: compromise. The gift recipient's parents are giving the gift of the party to all the attendees. It is natural in society to reciprocate in some way for gifts received, so points to your son for showing a sense of appreciation. Perhaps you could contact the parents of the child and see if there is another way you son could contribute to the party such ...


14

I think it is unlikely that she actually believes in Santa, it's possible that she's using Santa as a way to express her feelings indirectly. By saying Santa is not giving her the presents she wants she avoids talking about it in a confrontation with you. My 11 most kids have figured out that Santa is their parents, you'll probably find the ones maintaining ...


13

If the parents are generally okay with gifts, and just don't want them at the party, I would recommend telling him to give the gift at another time entirely, and not making it a 'birthday gift'. The cousin's parents made it clear a birthday gift is not desired, so don't give one. Instead, give it to him at another time - a week later, something like that - ...


9

I know I am probably a bit late on the uptake here - responding the day after Christmas - however, I felt I had a slightly different take on this one than the answers already offered. I am inclined to agree with GdD in that I suspect your daughter either knows and is using St. Nick as a way to manipulate - or at least she is suspicious and is saying the ...


9

I think there are a couple of important points here: My son (3) likes to give presents. (...) We recently received an invitation to a cousin's 5th birthday. The invitation says "No gifts please!".   This child's parents have specified "no gifts" for other events, as well (previous birthdays, family holiday celebrations, etc.), but the boy still ...


8

If the other parents have requested 'no presents' then you should respect their wishes. Even if you give a gift before the party it is still going to cause problems, when guests subsequently compare with each other at school. Since your child is keen to be generous and give gifts, why not suggest that he gives a gift to a needy child via you rlocal ...


7

Our approach with the tooth fairy was always to explain that if the tooth fairy had a lot of kids in one night, you might get less, and sometimes you would get skipped altogether until the next night (this because we could never remember how much we gave the time before, and sometimes we would forget altogether!). You could try that approach - "Some years ...


7

This is an opportunity to begin to teach your son about honoring the wishes of others. If your son gives a gift, he is not giving what the receiver wants (the receiver having specifically asked for "no gifts"), he is instead giving what HE wants. This is a little bit abstract for a 3-year-old, though, so I would try something like: "I love how you love to ...


6

Many other answers focus upon the assumption that the "no gifts" rule is to prevent public competition. However, I would ask the parents directly and explain the situation. There could be other reasons, any of which could provide good options. For instance, both of my daughters have had a bad habit of leaving small pieces of toys (rubber bands, plastic ...


6

I don't understand the problem. Since when has the "wants" of a 3 year old guest been more important than the house rules? Take the opportunity of teaching your son the importance of respect and compromise. The "no presents please" comment should not be ignored, and the only compromise that needs to take place is on the side of the child - the party hosts ...


6

you're in charge of allowing or not your kid to play with that present. accept it and say thanks, then at home, talk to your kid about why you don't think it's a good idea for him/her to play with that toy and say you're gonna save it for when he/she is old enough to play with it. end of story :-)


4

It depends on the social maturity of the child, as well as with the game. If the child is very social and will likely be playing the game with a lot of -different- people, then I would say yes. If child is able to express themselves in a very unique and personal way, then again yes. But if the child is going to be playing the game with the same couple ...


4

I have exactly the same problem here. My 5-year old daughter. Toys are cheaper today. Kids parties in Brazil look like some pretty big events. I let her open all the gifts in the same day. She can't play with them all and most of the time she forgets what toys she has. No kid can deal with that amount of toys. At the same time, I've talked to her that she ...


3

You absolutely must honor the "No Gifts!" request. You can tell your son that he will give a gift to charity instead of to that child; or you can buy the gift and "forget" to take it and give it to someone else at another time.


2

I think that its really lovely of your son to be so generous definitely encourage this!, but also be respectful of the parents wish (this is a wish that they have given for the party, to disobey would be disrespectful towards them however I think it would be fine to drop over a a little earlier (maybe before or after to give a gift then) its just a ...


2

There are few quandaries or challenges in education, they are mostly AGLO moments (AGLO = Another Great Learning Opportunity). This is not a challenge, it is an opportunity to teach your child three very important principles: Boundaries - Respect boundaries, there is no "small" or "large" when it comes to another persons boundaries, our own take is not ...


1

I would say no compromise and no gift. I am myself a mother who always mentions "no gift please", and I find it a bit annoying when parents do allow their child to bring in a present. The idea is that my children receive way too many presents anyway and they don't need any more, and I don't want the invited children to compete and the invited parents to ...


1

It's good that your son is so generous. But I would say don't bring a gift this time. Your son can learn something new and important from this experience. Not bringing a gift can teach him that giving material things to others is not the only way to contribute. In fact, there are situations in which simply being a source of comfort to others is far more ...


1

Do not give a gift It's great that you're raising your son to be generous, and it's to his credit to want to give gifts however in this case you've been specifically asked not to bring a gift. If you let him give a gift anyway or try and ring and arrange a way around it you are teaching him that it is okay to override other people's wishes with what he ...


1

There may be many reasons behind the no gifts rule. Possibly the child has an allergy to something (plasticisers?) and the parents have to throw away 90% of gifts which causes them all pain. Maybe they are afraid of cheap toys which might have poisoned paint. As a strong rule respect their wishes unless you have their permission to do otherwise. As a ...


1

I see no reason you can't give a game that requires multiple participants to a birthday child. Just because birthday child will have to find someone to play the game with them for it to be fun in no way takes away from the present being for them. I remember as a kid having some games that were mine (twister) and my sister had some games that were hers ...


1

The easiest way is to look at the recommended ages on the boxes. Although different kids are different, those recommended ages work for the majority of children, and take both safety and development into account. However, after age two or so you also really need to ask the parents. Kids very quickly develop strong likes and dislikes where toys are ...



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