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58

This one may be a challenge - UK laws on knife carrying are not age-related (although there is an age limit on purchasing knives) but they are related to size of knife and to some extent what you are doing with it and where you are carrying it. Personally I think a Swiss Army Knife is appropriate for outdoorsy kids from an early age - whenever they can ...


54

What you should not do is to simply talk badly about a favourite story of his. What you could do instead is put the story into perspective - and don't do this with this fairy tale alone, but with as many as possible. If you do this as an "early start to literary studies" you might actually do him a favour. Topics to cover could be: Core message or ...


45

I am a scout leader from Germany. We allow children to carry pocket knives as young as 8, but only under these conditions: Children with "behavior problems" are exempt (at the discretion of their leader). If they want to have one, they are first taught the rules of using knives (it's a tool and not a weapon, never cut towards your own body, never cut ...


25

Is there any possible harm, if I tell my kid now about the hidden meaning of Cinderella? To a certain extent the "hidden meaning" you describe is a somewhat dystopian outlook on relationships. In general, it's considered unnecessary that a 10-year-old know the "cold hard truth" about everything. I don't think most people make decisions in their adult ...


13

CISV - the name used to be "Children's International Summer Villages" - is a partnership organisation of UNESCO. UNESCO is a United nations organisation that promotes peace. It is very unlikely that a partner organisation of UNESCO would be a sect or a cult. Wikipedia has some information about CISV. The Wikipedia page does not list any criticism, and ...


12

There potentially could be harmful outcomes of going into detail that is ahead of a ten-year-old's comprehension/experience/understanding: At that age, children are still children, and despite the media trying to persuade us otherwise, the world is a very safe place for the majority of people, and relationships, while rarely perfect are generally positive. ...


11

I don't know your son, but I think if you started in on this kind of analysis of a fairy tale with him, within about 30 seconds he'd be saying, "Dad, can I go watch TV now?" I had plenty of times with my kids when we'd watch a cartoon or read a book and I'd make some comment about implications or interpretation that resemble the sort of things you say here. ...


11

Expanding from my comment: I believe it is very unlikely that she is going to change unless she later determines that she is bisexual rather than a lesbian. It is incredibly hard for someone to "come out" and tell others that they are LGBT. I have only ever told two people that I am bisexual. I have a nephew and a couple close friends who are gay men. At ...


10

Personally, the best I've seen is to ask question. This process can also be done after the kid see a t.v. show or a movie. Even after playing in the playground. What did you think about this person? Do you think that person was mean when they did this? Why do you think they did that? What would you do if it happen to you? It also makes it more engaging ...


10

Eleven is an OK age for handling a nice compact Swiss Army knife. That said, he (or she) would need to be taught and shown how to use and handle it, in just the same was as you might show him(her) how to hammer a nail (Hammers are very dangerous - just check how many gruesome TV murders use one ;-). It's important that you are happy to provide the help and ...


8

The ultimate goal of any punishment or discipline method ought to be discouraging a repeat of that behavior in future. It sounds like he's more focused on the part where he's done wrong and deserves punishment — not making the next leap of logic to the part where he's learning from mistakes. My daughter frequently sneaks junk food into her room late at ...


8

In your question, you say that he's damaged a phone, 2 tablets then lost another tablet. You must have replaced these so he knows that it doesn't matter what happens to his things, he'll get new ones. Equally, you ask him to find out about his grades, he doesn't and you go ahead and do it for him. Again, he knows he doesn't have to do anything because ...


7

I have been a part of CISV for over 15 years and involved with many programmes, unfortunately not interchange but I do know several people who have participated in interchange and found it very enjoyable and rewarding. The skills I have learnt from CISV have been invaluable and I have enjoyed the rewarding activities I have been lucky enough to participate ...


7

You should talk to your Sea Cadet leader. Scouting and cadet organisations are used to dealing with both the laws and the practical safety aspects of children with knives. If I recall correctly from when my son was in Scouts, its basically illegal for him to carry it unless he is going to an event where the organisers have declared that knives are intended ...


7

Both are valid options, but reading your post carefully I'd suggest finishing the school year at the old school. A list of pro's (in somewhat random order): Finishing at his old school should give him some sense of closure - this phase ends for all the current kids next summer. So I can understand that he doesn't want to leave prematurely but (perhaps ...


7

I noticed some of the same changes in my son when he discovered the world of on-line community. Rudeness and inappropriate language is standard issue, and his on-line communication style morphs to match whoever he is interacting with. This is quite normal, I think. Kids want to fit in. They want to identify with their peers and be accepted by them, and, ...


6

As with any relationship issue, I would recommend not trying to change her, but to work on changing you. Work on becoming the kind of person a teen would want to open up to. First, you need to create opportunities. That means do activities together where talking is okay, but silences aren't awkward. That eliminates movies because you can't talk. ...


6

The following link from .gov.uk clearly describes the UK legislation. https://www.gov.uk/buying-carrying-knives In essence carrying a knife with a folding blade of length less than 3 inches is legal. Threatening someone with a knife of any size is, of course, illegal. Even though a small knife is legal, if your lad is stopped by the Police or by a teacher ...


6

We've gifted pocket knives to our kids as young as 7 years old. It's about the time they start scouting and other outdoor youth programs, where they would have a good environment and reason to use one. Proper training occurs over time - a one time teaching session isn't enough. Once you give them one it's best to create activities and opportunities to use ...


6

I am from Anchorage, Alaska, so I will not attempt to comment on UK law or social norms. However, I grew up with knives and think I can comment on that aspect from another perspective. Alaska is an idiosyncratic locale, and we are generally raised in a more experiential (i.e., learn not to cut yourself by accidentally cutting yourself) way. I was given my ...


6

I don't have a lot of experience with pre-teen girls, other than having been one once upon a time, but since I was asked to elaborate on my comment. I agree with your assessment that making it 'forbidden' will make it more attractive. If I were you, I would figure out what is non-negotiable to you as a parent. Homework, chores, hygiene and so forth. If ...


5

Children with ADHD often have co-morbid (all that means is that they happen at the same time) conditions, such as OCD; up to 25% of kids with ADHD may have OCD as well. It's very commendable that you're in touch with your child about this and you are understanding and open with him. Your experience would be the same with an adult with OCD as with a child. ...


5

Hm. Sorry, I don't know a name for this behaviour, but rest assured, your son is probably very much focussed on your conversation. Those seemingly distracted movements actually may help him to focus. This is a similar mechanism as doodling (random drawing) while talking on the telephone or other people absentmindedly tapping their foot. Basically an outlet ...


4

You might look into whether he has some ADHD going on. The complaints you have about him sound a lot like my mother's complaints. I was always losing things, forgetting things. I would come home from playing all day and my Mom would say "Francine, where are your shoes?" Then it would come back to me that at some point in the day I had been wearing shoes. ...


4

I would have no idea how to approach this with a 12-year-old, but we recently had a similar situation with a 6-year-old niece who stayed with us for an extended period of time while her mother and father battled out some custody and other issues. It is an extremely difficult situation to approach, and all I can offer is moral support and an explanation of ...


4

A totally different (and probably complementing) aproach from Ossum's Mom's brilliant answer (+1) would be to make sure that these children feel that they are important to you. That they matter to you as opposed to you being just "that funny person that stops by". That is, talk to them, listen actively and remember what they tell you. At the next visit, show ...


4

For each family, find things you do well or enjoy that the parent(s) do not, and find a fun way to bring the children into your world -- assuming they're old enough for that activity. Do you like fly fishing, but this couple does not? Take the kid(s) fly fishing. Do you like art museums but this family never seems to go to one? Take them to an art ...


4

You could also treat this as a chance to understand literature. Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast are medieval mutations of the ancient legend of Psyche and Cupid, in which the heroine (Psyche) has a much more active role. Cinderella's conflict with her step mother was a medieval update of Psyche's struggle against the jealous Venus to win the hand of ...


4

I'm 17 years old, and it was about 4 years ago when I developed this problem. I laugh for just about everything. I laugh when I'm happy, when I think of something funny, when I'm nervous, embarrassed, and when I'm getting yelled at! I hate that I laugh when my parents are yelling at me, I really do! I know that it only further pisses my parents off ...


4

It doesn't sound like the kids are doing anything age-inappropriate, or inappropriate in general. If you don't feel comfortable helping them playact "real dating" (movies, dinners, etc) then don't do it. I'd also advise you not to get hung up on whatever they want to call their time together. From what you've described, it doesn't sound much different ...



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