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59

This one may be a challenge - UK laws on knife carrying are not age-related (although there is an age limit on purchasing knives) but they are related to size of knife and to some extent what you are doing with it and where you are carrying it. Personally I think a Swiss Army Knife is appropriate for outdoorsy kids from an early age - whenever they can ...


56

You can't make anything clear to someone who doesn't respect your opinion. Explanations only matter if the person you're explaining to has kind of the same world view as you do. This is where boundaries come in. Clearly things are not ideal for this girl, and it's natural to want to be helpful, but in this situation, true helpfulness is often more than what ...


45

I am a scout leader from Germany. We allow children to carry pocket knives as young as 8, but only under these conditions: Children with "behavior problems" are exempt (at the discretion of their leader). If they want to have one, they are first taught the rules of using knives (it's a tool and not a weapon, never cut towards your own body, never cut ...


27

This is actually pretty common. First, lets get some things out on the table. Your talking to her. That makes you her friend, at least a little. Don't think that because you're older you can't "be friends". There need to be boundaries, obviously. But to someone that age "friend" can be anyone that listens. There are structured groups (Boys and Girls Club, ...


13

CISV - the name used to be "Children's International Summer Villages" - is a partnership organisation of UNESCO. UNESCO is a United nations organisation that promotes peace. It is very unlikely that a partner organisation of UNESCO would be a sect or a cult. Wikipedia has some information about CISV. The Wikipedia page does not list any criticism, and ...


11

Expanding from my comment: I believe it is very unlikely that she is going to change unless she later determines that she is bisexual rather than a lesbian. It is incredibly hard for someone to "come out" and tell others that they are LGBT. I have only ever told two people that I am bisexual. I have a nephew and a couple close friends who are gay men. At ...


10

Eleven is an OK age for handling a nice compact Swiss Army knife. That said, he (or she) would need to be taught and shown how to use and handle it, in just the same was as you might show him(her) how to hammer a nail (Hammers are very dangerous - just check how many gruesome TV murders use one ;-). It's important that you are happy to provide the help and ...


10

"Scratch" will allow you to create a simple videogame and get some experience with basic programming concepts. After that there are some good resources for starting Python here.


8

The ultimate goal of any punishment or discipline method ought to be discouraging a repeat of that behavior in future. It sounds like he's more focused on the part where he's done wrong and deserves punishment — not making the next leap of logic to the part where he's learning from mistakes. My daughter frequently sneaks junk food into her room late at ...


7

I have been a part of CISV for over 15 years and involved with many programmes, unfortunately not interchange but I do know several people who have participated in interchange and found it very enjoyable and rewarding. The skills I have learnt from CISV have been invaluable and I have enjoyed the rewarding activities I have been lucky enough to participate ...


7

You should talk to your Sea Cadet leader. Scouting and cadet organisations are used to dealing with both the laws and the practical safety aspects of children with knives. If I recall correctly from when my son was in Scouts, its basically illegal for him to carry it unless he is going to an event where the organisers have declared that knives are intended ...


7

Both are valid options, but reading your post carefully I'd suggest finishing the school year at the old school. A list of pro's (in somewhat random order): Finishing at his old school should give him some sense of closure - this phase ends for all the current kids next summer. So I can understand that he doesn't want to leave prematurely but (perhaps ...


7

I noticed some of the same changes in my son when he discovered the world of on-line community. Rudeness and inappropriate language is standard issue, and his on-line communication style morphs to match whoever he is interacting with. This is quite normal, I think. Kids want to fit in. They want to identify with their peers and be accepted by them, and, ...


7

As you describe the situation, I would consider Angela as possibly a traumatized child in a troubled home situation, until you learn otherwise. This is not to say that her guardians have intent to neglect Angela, but according to Angela they're old and sick and perhaps unprepared (as you wisely observe that you are not fully confident) to raise her and deal ...


6

As with any relationship issue, I would recommend not trying to change her, but to work on changing you. Work on becoming the kind of person a teen would want to open up to. First, you need to create opportunities. That means do activities together where talking is okay, but silences aren't awkward. That eliminates movies because you can't talk. ...


6

The following link from .gov.uk clearly describes the UK legislation. https://www.gov.uk/buying-carrying-knives In essence carrying a knife with a folding blade of length less than 3 inches is legal. Threatening someone with a knife of any size is, of course, illegal. Even though a small knife is legal, if your lad is stopped by the Police or by a teacher ...


6

We've gifted pocket knives to our kids as young as 7 years old. It's about the time they start scouting and other outdoor youth programs, where they would have a good environment and reason to use one. Proper training occurs over time - a one time teaching session isn't enough. Once you give them one it's best to create activities and opportunities to use ...


6

I am from Anchorage, Alaska, so I will not attempt to comment on UK law or social norms. However, I grew up with knives and think I can comment on that aspect from another perspective. Alaska is an idiosyncratic locale, and we are generally raised in a more experiential (i.e., learn not to cut yourself by accidentally cutting yourself) way. I was given my ...


6

I don't have a lot of experience with pre-teen girls, other than having been one once upon a time, but since I was asked to elaborate on my comment. I agree with your assessment that making it 'forbidden' will make it more attractive. If I were you, I would figure out what is non-negotiable to you as a parent. Homework, chores, hygiene and so forth. If ...


6

I want to offer a quick couple of points for you. Step 1 - tell her everything you wrote in your last paragraph to us. Kids are not dumb and she will most likely understand. Step 2 - don't feel bad when you tell her you cannot spend time with her. I suspect you feel bad or guilty for doing this. Telling her no is perfectly ok and after you explain step ...


5

Children with ADHD often have co-morbid (all that means is that they happen at the same time) conditions, such as OCD; up to 25% of kids with ADHD may have OCD as well. It's very commendable that you're in touch with your child about this and you are understanding and open with him. Your experience would be the same with an adult with OCD as with a child. ...


5

As a father of three children, my advice to you would be: unless there is an unusual situation involved and you are your sister's guardian, mind your own business. It is not your responsibility to make sure your sister does her homework. Not only is it not your responsibility, you getting involved is most likely counter-productive. Also, you say she does ...


5

Hm. Sorry, I don't know a name for this behaviour, but rest assured, your son is probably very much focussed on your conversation. Those seemingly distracted movements actually may help him to focus. This is a similar mechanism as doodling (random drawing) while talking on the telephone or other people absentmindedly tapping their foot. Basically an outlet ...


4

I would have no idea how to approach this with a 12-year-old, but we recently had a similar situation with a 6-year-old niece who stayed with us for an extended period of time while her mother and father battled out some custody and other issues. It is an extremely difficult situation to approach, and all I can offer is moral support and an explanation of ...


4

A totally different (and probably complementing) aproach from Ossum's Mom's brilliant answer (+1) would be to make sure that these children feel that they are important to you. That they matter to you as opposed to you being just "that funny person that stops by". That is, talk to them, listen actively and remember what they tell you. At the next visit, show ...


4

For each family, find things you do well or enjoy that the parent(s) do not, and find a fun way to bring the children into your world -- assuming they're old enough for that activity. Do you like fly fishing, but this couple does not? Take the kid(s) fly fishing. Do you like art museums but this family never seems to go to one? Take them to an art museum....


4

This is just an opinion based on your story as well as what is going on, but it might be helpful to spend some time with her doing something you're both comfortable with. Find something you all enjoy for a few hours and have fun. During said time, ask about how they feel about math etc. or what's going on in their life. Try and feel out where their head is. ...


4

It doesn't sound like the kids are doing anything age-inappropriate, or inappropriate in general. If you don't feel comfortable helping them playact "real dating" (movies, dinners, etc) then don't do it. I'd also advise you not to get hung up on whatever they want to call their time together. From what you've described, it doesn't sound much different --...


4

I have learned a lot working on my new answer to this question. I collected some literature and took some notes from them to add here. I hope this will satisfy the question. The average age of learning about ones owns the sexuality tendencies is 10, 14 for accepting the identity, talking about it with friends is 16 and 17 for talking to parents, well ...


3

Have you asked her why she resists bedtime so much? By 10 she should be fully capable of discussing this on an adult level. Ask her. Don't do it during bedtime, at least at first (though later on that may be necessary to get all of the details). Don't do it in an accusatory way. Just ask: "Why don't you like going to bed?" If it started recently, ...



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