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47

Since you're not thrilled about the depiction of violence in the book, but are reluctant to have your child singled out as different, maybe you could read it with him and discuss the violence and brutality. Use this as a teaching situation, where you can listen to his interpretation of the violent themes in the book and add in your own two cents.


30

I'm an autistic adult, the parent of an autistic adult, and a teacher of autistic children. The reason your daughter laughs when you're really angry with her is because your anger is frightening her. This might seem counter-intuitive to the neurotypical mind, until one considers that neurotypical laughter is frequently in response to someone being hurt, ...


28

You might consider that children are affected by violence differently than adults, especially violence in books. Their imagination isn't as horrible as ours. A lot of what makes the book impactful to adults will go right over a child's head, due to their inexperience and lack of maturity. If you've ever reread a book as an adult that you first read as a ...


15

(Warning: Spoilers) Whereas the Hunger Games is a violent book, it is probably one of the few that shows the consequences of that violence. The death of Rue, the moral dilemma of kill-or-be-killed and the sacrifice of Katniss taking her sister's place all offer something for a child to learn. Even the death of foxface (I forget the character's name) was a ...


14

I remember reading Lord of the Rings when I was 11. It opened my eyes to a whole world of wonderful literature that was genuinely interesting. Books with war and violence evoke strong emotions. While I agree that not every child is necessarily ready for dealing with those emotions at that age, I would say that it's up to parents and teachers to support ...


14

Stephen King wrote a description about this once. "You're one of those people that, when King Laugh knocks, you can't keep the door closed." I'm the same way: laughter overwhelms me at sometimes very inappropriate times, and especially when I'm emotionally overwrought or very fatigued. It's apparently fairly common with folks on the autism spectrum. And ...


11

It depends on the kid actually. Many kids will "play" even as toddlers and in elementary school and just experiment with the different sensations that happen in that area of the body. However, most kids hit puberty and start masturbating with an actual result sometime during the Middle-School years or between 11 and 15. Of course there are exceptions that ...


11

Obviously, the first decision is to determine if the individual child is ready or not for the book in any one form of reading it - alone, with a teacher and class, and/or with a parent. That really is a personal and individual decision as the answer for any given child will depend upon that child's particular sensitivities, reading abilities and moral ...


10

Sounds to me, like you and your daughter had a very healthy and honest conversation - and trust me when I say, those are the kind that work. I worked with adolescents for ten years as a health and science teacher as well as was advisor to a class of about 20 eighth grade kids each year. Considering the fact that I had around 100 kids each year I taught, ...


10

Laughter is a big emotional response. My son does this to me too. (And my body is also wired to laugh inappropriately in extremely high-tension situations, so I can relate on that level too.) Now the weird part and the part I don't understand is that she claims she cannot control the laughter. She says that she doesn't want to laugh but she can't help ...


10

Call the police. Call child protective social services. Edit: Some people may be confused about how the chold is getting access to these men. A ten year old child is not within eyesight all day. The parents may be as protective as they can be but they are no there all the time. Grooming creates a psychologically very strong bond between the abuser and ...


8

Speaking as a former teen-aged geek, here's a few things that have worked for (and on me - thanks Mom and Dad! :) ) Organized sports are kinda hit-and-miss for a geek (esp. if it's not their interest). Teen years are rough to start with. And some people don't get "runner's high", so they lose the reinforcement that keeps some of those solo sports going. ...


7

Teenagers? I've masturbated for as long as I can remember, probably since age 3 even though I didn't know what it was - it just felt good. As the years passed I learned what it was and just kept on going. Always in private, but at some point my awkward mom asked me to not stain the bedding. I complied and there hasn't been a word since.


7

This sort of thing is really common. My 8 year old has been training at half marathon distance (walking, jogging and running) for 6 months now. Her idea - she's raising money for a charity helping one of her friends. My eldest two have been doing triathlons since the age of 9 or so, and again, all their own idea. They were given the option of full training ...


7

I don't think your older son really has a choice in being okay with it or not. If the friend and the younger child want to be friends, hang out, and do stuff together, your son can either tag along and be cool with it or find another friend. Your older son is not in possession of this friend. He's not a toy that he can refuse to let his younger brother ...


6

This varies dramatically from kid to kid. Some discover it as toddlers and never forget, others not until well into their teens. Because the libido spikes around puberty, this is the most common time to start regular masturbation (usually as a tween), especially for boys. A lot of young women don't start masturbating regularly until a bit later due to a ...


6

While unemployment stress may be contributing, don't blame a rebellious phase entirely on that- your daughter is in the prime rebellion years, you would probably be facing some of these challenges anyway. My suggestion is to drop the angry face and immediately put on a sad face, and say seriously, it's not nice to laugh at people who are having problems. ...


6

It sounds like you're generally taking the right tack on this - explaining your reasoning calmly. You don't give a lot of other details, so some of these may be what you're already doing, but here's what I'd do. What you might want to do as the next step, if you're not already doing this, is let your child know when, or under what conditions, she will be ...


5

There is an element of this that is a natural part of growing up. Kids mature at different ages and when they start maturing socially and a different rate from friends it can create strain. What one girl considers fun, the other will no longer think is fun because it is something "younger kids" do. The more mature one, may be more interested in boys and ...


5

Violence is unfortunately a factor of life. It does no good to hide your child from life. I am a member of both Amnesty International and the Campaign against the arms trade (CAAT). My daughter (now 13) has been on a number of demonstrations with me and has done since she was 8. A much better approach is to accept the reality of life but read the book with ...


5

It is funny that you've posted this because my seven year old daughter freaks when her dad takes of his shirt or she sees men shirtless even though we have always had a very open policy about nudity in our house. I don't know that this answer will work for you and we are only just beginning to think about these types of questions at our house, but we've ...


5

As a former nerdy kid, I'd say that group sports, with their tendency to be full of cliques and popularity contests, were very hard for me. I've always been more at ease with biking, hiking and cross-country skiing - activities that did not depend so much on skill, that were pretty much individual in nature, and that weren't overly competitive. Many geeks I ...


5

And then when I start to look noticeably angry and start to raise my voice, she laughs at me. I have Asperger's, and this is something I have dealt with all my life. I initially noticed this when I was young: I would find myself involuntarily laughing when in situations where I was either subjected to physical pain (such as burns or blunt trauma), ...


4

There's a whole lot of worse things he could be doing. Like drugs. Vandalism. Getting into trouble. The things you've listed as things he enjoys are completely harmless. So let him do them as he wants, and allow him to freely continue to discover who he is. What if your son does turn out to be gay? Would you rather him feel judged and alone and ...


4

I disagree with removing hockey. Why? I remember being in the exact same situation and how it affected me as a person. When I was that age, I had one thing: music. It was my passion. At 13 I was writing Manilow-like music (it was 1978) on our horrible piano and I was playing trumpet and french horn at school. Meantime, my grades in Civics, Math, etc, ...


4

In the UK we let kids of all ages go trick or treating - when young a parent will accompany them but only to the end of driveways etc, and as they get older they will head out in groups with their peers. Typically they need to sing, tell a joke, or otherwise entertain the householder in order to get a treat of some kind, but there is certainly no culture of ...


4

My kids aren't old enough for this situation yet, but I like how my parents handled it. Part of the problem is the child needs the skills to stand up to an authority figure, in this case a peer with a forceful personality. You also have the dilemma that you want them to make good choices, but you also want them to feel free to tell you about difficult ...


4

I started "pullin it" just to see what it would feel like at 11. At about 12 and a half, I started doing it until ejaculation, and doing it a lot. Don't talk to him about it. I'm 13 and thank god my parents haven't found out/talked to me about it. Just let him google stuff when he has a problem. It's worked for me. Source I'm 13 years old


4

I wouldn't worry about it until it comes up. Lots of people, especially people who don't drink or who don't drink much, feel they have to 'normalize' alcohol to their children. But many, many people don't drink. Although some aspects of adult society make us think we have to justify the decision not to drink. in fact there is no justification needed for not ...



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