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34

I'm an autistic adult, the parent of an autistic adult, and a teacher of autistic children. The reason your daughter laughs when you're really angry with her is because your anger is frightening her. This might seem counter-intuitive to the neurotypical mind, until one considers that neurotypical laughter is frequently in response to someone being hurt, ...


14

Stephen King wrote a description about this once. "You're one of those people that, when King Laugh knocks, you can't keep the door closed." I'm the same way: laughter overwhelms me at sometimes very inappropriate times, and especially when I'm emotionally overwrought or very fatigued. It's apparently fairly common with folks on the autism spectrum. And ...


11

Call the police. Call child protective social services. Edit: Some people may be confused about how the chold is getting access to these men. A ten year old child is not within eyesight all day. The parents may be as protective as they can be but they are no there all the time. Grooming creates a psychologically very strong bond between the abuser and ...


11

There are online 'parents of encopresis' support groups. A quick googling came up with several. Interacting with other parents in this situation may help you, and might give you ideas on what to ask your child's doctors. When encopresis is this entrenched, you need a multidisciplinary specialist approach: if she has never been hospitalized, she should be, ...


10

Laughter is a big emotional response. My son does this to me too. (And my body is also wired to laugh inappropriately in extremely high-tension situations, so I can relate on that level too.) Now the weird part and the part I don't understand is that she claims she cannot control the laughter. She says that she doesn't want to laugh but she can't help ...


9

Speaking as a former teen-aged geek, here's a few things that have worked for (and on me - thanks Mom and Dad! :) ) Organized sports are kinda hit-and-miss for a geek (esp. if it's not their interest). Teen years are rough to start with. And some people don't get "runner's high", so they lose the reinforcement that keeps some of those solo sports going. ...


8

I don't think your older son really has a choice in being okay with it or not. If the friend and the younger child want to be friends, hang out, and do stuff together, your son can either tag along and be cool with it or find another friend. Your older son is not in possession of this friend. He's not a toy that he can refuse to let his younger brother ...


7

This sort of thing is really common. My 8 year old has been training at half marathon distance (walking, jogging and running) for 6 months now. Her idea - she's raising money for a charity helping one of her friends. My eldest two have been doing triathlons since the age of 9 or so, and again, all their own idea. They were given the option of full training ...


6

This varies dramatically from kid to kid. Some discover it as toddlers and never forget, others not until well into their teens. Because the libido spikes around puberty, this is the most common time to start regular masturbation (usually as a tween), especially for boys. A lot of young women don't start masturbating regularly until a bit later due to a ...


6

While unemployment stress may be contributing, don't blame a rebellious phase entirely on that- your daughter is in the prime rebellion years, you would probably be facing some of these challenges anyway. My suggestion is to drop the angry face and immediately put on a sad face, and say seriously, it's not nice to laugh at people who are having problems. ...


6

It sounds like you're generally taking the right tack on this - explaining your reasoning calmly. You don't give a lot of other details, so some of these may be what you're already doing, but here's what I'd do. What you might want to do as the next step, if you're not already doing this, is let your child know when, or under what conditions, she will be ...


6

Nobody hits in my household. No spanking, no violence, ever. If violence is unacceptable always, you have to jump on that behavior instantly, every time with a consequence. If violence is only sometimes unacceptable, when and where it's acceptable is a difficult thing to teach.


6

Looks like there is a lot of jealousy going on which has not been resolved for a long time. I suggest reading Siblings Without Rivalry. It addresses different scenarios and gives suggestion on what to do in different situation, including the ones you described above. Meanwhile I suggest: Don't react to your daughter complains the way your husband ...


5

You have provided a lot of useful information in your question, so I hope I am able to help. First, he "believes I don't do anything for him" -- I doubt this is what he believes. It is what he says, absolutely, but let's look at what he is saying. He is calling you lazy (and I presume other things). Children do not make such statements unless they have ...


5

And then when I start to look noticeably angry and start to raise my voice, she laughs at me. I have Asperger's, and this is something I have dealt with all my life. I initially noticed this when I was young: I would find myself involuntarily laughing when in situations where I was either subjected to physical pain (such as burns or blunt trauma), ...


5

As a former nerdy kid, I'd say that group sports, with their tendency to be full of cliques and popularity contests, were very hard for me. I've always been more at ease with biking, hiking and cross-country skiing - activities that did not depend so much on skill, that were pretty much individual in nature, and that weren't overly competitive. Many geeks I ...


5

There is an element of this that is a natural part of growing up. Kids mature at different ages and when they start maturing socially and a different rate from friends it can create strain. What one girl considers fun, the other will no longer think is fun because it is something "younger kids" do. The more mature one, may be more interested in boys and ...


4

There's a whole lot of worse things he could be doing. Like drugs. Vandalism. Getting into trouble. The things you've listed as things he enjoys are completely harmless. So let him do them as he wants, and allow him to freely continue to discover who he is. What if your son does turn out to be gay? Would you rather him feel judged and alone and ...


4

I started "pullin it" just to see what it would feel like at 11. At about 12 and a half, I started doing it until ejaculation, and doing it a lot. Don't talk to him about it. I'm 13 and thank god my parents haven't found out/talked to me about it. Just let him google stuff when he has a problem. It's worked for me. Source I'm 13 years old


4

I wouldn't worry about it until it comes up. Lots of people, especially people who don't drink or who don't drink much, feel they have to 'normalize' alcohol to their children. But many, many people don't drink. Although some aspects of adult society make us think we have to justify the decision not to drink. in fact there is no justification needed for not ...


4

Ha! My son is 12 and I'm right there with you. Personally I sat him down and set some limits and boundaries. (He was totally embarrassed, it was great!) I told him I'm ok with him growing up, but there will be some boundaries. Mine is looking at xxx pron so I laid out very clearly what is and is not ok for him to look at and who its ok to talk to (as far as ...


4

Has she ever flown before (post-toddler years)? If not, then that's the first step: fly. I probably fell into the category she falls into for years; I flew only twice as a child that I can remember, at 6 and 10, and so when I went off to college (far enough to have to fly each semester back and forth), I had a mild fear of flying. It only went away when ...


4

I think you can keep it focused on the image she wants to portray. Ask her: What are you saying about yourself with that look? If what she thinks she's putting out there matches what other people think, and she's okay with that, so be it. If her perceptions are off, you can gently correct them: That outfit makes you feel comfortable, but that boy ...


3

It may be bit late but I don't think anyone else has covered what I wanted to say. I have a similar problem to your daughter; when I am nervous or anxious I sometimes get a nearly irresistible urge to smile or even laugh. Of course I do try to stop myself, and can most of the time now I am an adult, but not always. I have never really understood why it ...


3

My daughter has some autistic characteristics, although she hasn't been officially diagnosed because her cerebral palsy symptoms are overwhelming. Observing anger and violence makes her laugh, the same as watching slapstick humor. My theory is that this is due to her difficulty empathizing. If you take the emotions out of the picture, someone being angry ...


3

As your goal is physical activity and he seems averse to sport, perhaps you should consider non-sport things that you could do together. Doing things as a family activity takes away the competitive element and also the need to excel or get better at something. Go camping or fishing. Go hiking. Go to nerdy conventions and scour the exhibit hall (miles of ...


3

I think age ten is perfect. Before the middle school drama sets in. I travelled to Arizona (from New England) alone to meet my grandfather there when I was 11, and it was wonderful. I mean, I had a flight attendant chaperone, but I felt so grown up without my little brother and parents. And then, it was super to have the one on one time with my grandpa. ...


3

I winced before clicking and was extremely relieved to learn that the problem is sartorial, not sexual. You need to let your son know that it's none of his darn business what clothes his sister wears. Call him on his hypocrisy and emphasize that he doesn't get to control his sister. Different households have different standards of modesty. If your son was ...


3

In this particular instance, Irene Adler only appears in two of the episodes (according to imdb), although she is mentioned more often, and if I remember correctly, only "A Scandal in Belgravia" (season 2 episode 1) had a lot of objectionable content (you can review to make sure). Personally, I would allow her to watch the other episodes, and just skip that ...


3

In the spirit of SO, I'd like to ask what have you tried ? Anyway, I am assuming that you tried to explain gently and politely and that did not work. However, if I were you, I'd try to do it like this: No one like to be mistreated. Would you like it if someone bigger and stronger did that to you for no reason at all ? Go hug your sister and say sorry to ...



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