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47

What you should not do is to simply talk badly about a favourite story of his. What you could do instead is put the story into perspective - and don't do this with this fairy tale alone, but with as many as possible. If you do this as an "early start to literary studies" you might actually do him a favour. Topics to cover could be: Core message or ...


24

Is there any possible harm, if I tell my kid now about the hidden meaning of Cinderella? To a certain extent the "hidden meaning" you describe is a somewhat dystopian outlook on relationships. In general, it's considered unnecessary that a 10-year-old know the "cold hard truth" about everything. I don't think most people make decisions in their adult ...


23

At some point in your child's life they will do things not because you tell them to, but because they are the right thing to do. For example, a 40 year old pays their bills because in this society we pay our bills, not because their mother called and reminded them to pay their bills. As a parent, one of your tasks is to escort your child from the toddler ...


22

First off, in terms of helping the child learn: Many/most schools have computer clubs. Encourage the child to inquire from other students, or ask the school professionals yourself. This will place the child with his peers developmentally, which is the biggest encouragement you can give. Talk to a computer teacher in the school if one exists. They may agree ...


18

I meet people at local meetups. Where I live there are about three Python meetups a month. My experiences have been great: excellent programmers who just like to talk shop. While you will likely meet others at your skill level, you won't meet people at your age level. It will mostly be older people (e.g. college age or higher), but if the goal is to talk ...


15

This can be a common issue in children who are very successful in almost anything: when they are motivated by success, and that success is easy to achieve, they see no reason to work hard to achieve basically the same success. The returns for additional success tend to be diminishing; being a big fish in a small pond can be very comfortable to someone ...


13

I'm 15, and I had this same problem about a year ago. There's an awesome community called HS Hackers on Facebook. To call it lifechanging would be a gross understatement. Hackathons are the best way to meet other talented (and often young) programmers. Hackathons are basically coding marathons. The best event to go to would be a CodeDay. It's a 24 hour ...


12

A couple of things to add to user3143's excellent answer: Tools. Tools are not a substitute for experience or knowledge, but every craftsman/woman appreciates good tools, and they are something that you as a non-programming parent can help with. Some of the best are free, but if the kid wants an IDE, library, program, etc that costs any reasonable amount of ...


11

Call the police. Call child protective social services. Edit: Some people may be confused about how the chold is getting access to these men. A ten year old child is not within eyesight all day. The parents may be as protective as they can be but they are no there all the time. Grooming creates a psychologically very strong bond between the abuser and ...


11

There are online 'parents of encopresis' support groups. A quick googling came up with several. Interacting with other parents in this situation may help you, and might give you ideas on what to ask your child's doctors. When encopresis is this entrenched, you need a multidisciplinary specialist approach: if she has never been hospitalized, she should be, ...


11

There's a common saying among highly-successful people, which is to never be the smartest person in the room. You grow by surrounding yourself with people who challenge you to be better. Somewhat counterintuitively, if you want to be truly successful, you need to fail sometimes. If you never fail, you're not pushing your boundaries. You're playing it too ...


10

There potentially could be harmful outcomes of going into detail that is ahead of a ten-year-old's comprehension/experience/understanding: At that age, children are still children, and despite the media trying to persuade us otherwise, the world is a very safe place for the majority of people, and relationships, while rarely perfect are generally positive. ...


10

Personally, the best I've seen is to ask question. This process can also be done after the kid see a t.v. show or a movie. Even after playing in the playground. What did you think about this person? Do you think that person was mean when they did this? Why do you think they did that? What would you do if it happen to you? It also makes it more engaging ...


9

I don't think your older son really has a choice in being okay with it or not. If the friend and the younger child want to be friends, hang out, and do stuff together, your son can either tag along and be cool with it or find another friend. Your older son is not in possession of this friend. He's not a toy that he can refuse to let his younger brother ...


9

I do not want to say that you are out-of-luck, but you are pretty much out-of-luck. The issue is that most people around your age do not know those languages. In fact, most people around your age likely do not even know what most of them are. If you asked most 14-year olds what Vim or LaTeX is, many of them would have no clue at all. Some might know what ...


9

I don't know your son, but I think if you started in on this kind of analysis of a fairy tale with him, within about 30 seconds he'd be saying, "Dad, can I go watch TV now?" I had plenty of times with my kids when we'd watch a cartoon or read a book and I'd make some comment about implications or interpretation that resemble the sort of things you say here. ...


8

Go to a hackerspace. They are everywhere in the world, and they are places where 'hackers' meet, in the sense of good-willing computer experts. It's mostly adults, but if you are lucky there are also some teens. There are plenty of projects to work on, such as programming software, 3D printers, soldering, etc. And other people can participate in your ...


7

This sort of thing is really common. My 8 year old has been training at half marathon distance (walking, jogging and running) for 6 months now. Her idea - she's raising money for a charity helping one of her friends. My eldest two have been doing triathlons since the age of 9 or so, and again, all their own idea. They were given the option of full training ...


7

I'm currently one year below your age, and I've been programming since I was eight years old. I currently hold knowledge in PHP, HTML, CSS, JavaScript, jQuery and Java mainly although I have little knowledge in other languages, too. Being in your position, it's not usual that you find somebody who is our age with our knowledge levels. Usually, I find ...


7

I can speak from experience as someone who has had multiple talents, but is lazy: I do things because I enjoy them. I, for example, rarely did anything with my clarinet for the sake of becoming a better clarinetist. The music we were going to perform? I played it because I enjoyed playing it. I never really practiced for an abstract sense of becoming ...


6

Looks like there is a lot of jealousy going on which has not been resolved for a long time. I suggest reading Siblings Without Rivalry. It addresses different scenarios and gives suggestion on what to do in different situation, including the ones you described above. Meanwhile I suggest: Don't react to your daughter complains the way your husband ...


6

Nobody hits in my household. No spanking, no violence, ever. If violence is unacceptable always, you have to jump on that behavior instantly, every time with a consequence. If violence is only sometimes unacceptable, when and where it's acceptable is a difficult thing to teach.


6

It sounds like you're generally taking the right tack on this - explaining your reasoning calmly. You don't give a lot of other details, so some of these may be what you're already doing, but here's what I'd do. What you might want to do as the next step, if you're not already doing this, is let your child know when, or under what conditions, she will be ...


6

You have provided a lot of useful information in your question, so I hope I am able to help. First, he "believes I don't do anything for him" -- I doubt this is what he believes. It is what he says, absolutely, but let's look at what he is saying. He is calling you lazy (and I presume other things). Children do not make such statements unless they have ...


6

I was once in a similar position. I was a pre-teen who was eager to learn about programming and I was exhilarated by watching a computer execute commands as I instructed. I wasn't interested in web development, rather I was initially interested in quite the opposite: hacking/exploiting. Nonetheless, I believe my experience with learning to program will be ...


6

As a programmer and to some extent being 'that kid' myself I'd say that things like (cheap) embedded hardware kits such as the Raspberry Pi or Arduino are the way to go. These kits are usually quite cheap (the Pi is around $30 and is powered by a phone charger). Young programmers are not interested in getting a proper grasp of programming concepts like ...


6

Contact your local library. It is part of a library's mission to promote education, to facilitate knowledge creation, and to foster a sense of community. They run interest groups of all kinds, and if your local library is large enough, they will likely even have a tech guru of some kind on staff. If you can get a group started in the library, you have the ...


6

I don't see how boot camp will help you. Unless it is solved relationally any improvement will probably only be temporary at best and fear driven at worst. Regardless, he needs to respect you. That's a simple fact. He's clearly trying to push you away, and it's a season where you have to not reject him and just stand firm in your love for him so he knows ...


6

There are a few things we consider when kids are pushing to do certain activities. My daughter has taken ballet for years, and will be starting pre-pointe lessons soon. This sounds less frightening than motocross, but there are risks of both short-term injury and long-term foot structure damage if she doesn't practice, wear properly fitted shoes, and listen ...



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