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8

The ultimate goal of any punishment or discipline method ought to be discouraging a repeat of that behavior in future. It sounds like he's more focused on the part where he's done wrong and deserves punishment — not making the next leap of logic to the part where he's learning from mistakes. My daughter frequently sneaks junk food into her room late at ...


4

A totally different (and probably complementing) aproach from Ossum's Mom's brilliant answer (+1) would be to make sure that these children feel that they are important to you. That they matter to you as opposed to you being just "that funny person that stops by". That is, talk to them, listen actively and remember what they tell you. At the next visit, show ...


4

For each family, find things you do well or enjoy that the parent(s) do not, and find a fun way to bring the children into your world -- assuming they're old enough for that activity. Do you like fly fishing, but this couple does not? Take the kid(s) fly fishing. Do you like art museums but this family never seems to go to one? Take them to an art ...


3

I'm focusing on the concept of him stating "I don't deserve it" especially in an instance where the self-imposed punishment isn't directly related to the "crime" in question. So far the only punishment I impose is to send my children to their room to figure out what they did wrong and then, after a short time, to apologize to me or their sibling for what ...


3

Have you asked her why she resists bedtime so much? By 10 she should be fully capable of discussing this on an adult level. Ask her. Don't do it during bedtime, at least at first (though later on that may be necessary to get all of the details). Don't do it in an accusatory way. Just ask: "Why don't you like going to bed?" If it started recently, ...


3

This is just an opinion based on your story as well as what is going on, but it might be helpful to spend some time with her doing something you're both comfortable with. Find something you all enjoy for a few hours and have fun. During said time, ask about how they feel about math etc. or what's going on in their life. Try and feel out where their head is. ...


3

With an issue like this, I will always recommend professional counseling. Unlike other communication problems, the problems you're experiencing have a direct effect on the emotional and mental health of your children. A family therapist could help you learn to communicate with your wife about these manners, and how to handle her outbursts. Right now, your ...


2

Step 1 is talking to your wife about her behavior towards your stepdaughter, but in the light of how you can help. If you set out to give your wife a lecture, she won't listen. If you seek her out to offer your support, then you'll get somewhere. For example, with the shower situation, I see a conversation going something like this. You - "Hey, I was ...


1

As a father of three children, my advice to you would be: unless there is an unusual situation involved and you are your sister's guardian, mind your own business. It is not your responsibility to make sure your sister does her homework. Not only is it not your responsibility, you getting involved is most likely counter-productive. Also, you say she does ...


1

I can relate! I currently have a pre-teen. During your 11yo's absence, perhaps you could write friendly, chatty letters to your child during his absence (stamp or email) to keep the connection. Here are some ideas for reducing the stress, and improving your relationship: cultivate common interests. get involved in some activities that involve other ...


1

My advice only comes from other things I have read recently on this site - if I could find the exact questions again I would link them. First, I would read from a similar question for a 7-year-old. Try looking at This Answer. Communication is important because it keeps you from just shooting in the dark. You may have better luck by "counting down" until ...



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