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45

What you should not do is to simply talk badly about a favourite story of his. What you could do instead is put the story into perspective - and don't do this with this fairy tale alone, but with as many as possible. If you do this as an "early start to literary studies" you might actually do him a favour. Topics to cover could be: Core message or ...


24

Is there any possible harm, if I tell my kid now about the hidden meaning of Cinderella? To a certain extent the "hidden meaning" you describe is a somewhat dystopian outlook on relationships. In general, it's considered unnecessary that a 10-year-old know the "cold hard truth" about everything. I don't think most people make decisions in their adult ...


15

This can be a common issue in children who are very successful in almost anything: when they are motivated by success, and that success is easy to achieve, they see no reason to work hard to achieve basically the same success. The returns for additional success tend to be diminishing; being a big fish in a small pond can be very comfortable to someone ...


11

There's a common saying among highly-successful people, which is to never be the smartest person in the room. You grow by surrounding yourself with people who challenge you to be better. Somewhat counterintuitively, if you want to be truly successful, you need to fail sometimes. If you never fail, you're not pushing your boundaries. You're playing it too ...


10

There potentially could be harmful outcomes of going into detail that is ahead of a ten-year-old's comprehension/experience/understanding: At that age, children are still children, and despite the media trying to persuade us otherwise, the world is a very safe place for the majority of people, and relationships, while rarely perfect are generally positive. ...


10

Personally, the best I've seen is to ask question. This process can also be done after the kid see a t.v. show or a movie. Even after playing in the playground. What did you think about this person? Do you think that person was mean when they did this? Why do you think they did that? What would you do if it happen to you? It also makes it more engaging ...


9

I don't know your son, but I think if you started in on this kind of analysis of a fairy tale with him, within about 30 seconds he'd be saying, "Dad, can I go watch TV now?" I had plenty of times with my kids when we'd watch a cartoon or read a book and I'd make some comment about implications or interpretation that resemble the sort of things you say here. ...


7

I can speak from experience as someone who has had multiple talents, but is lazy: I do things because I enjoy them. I, for example, rarely did anything with my clarinet for the sake of becoming a better clarinetist. The music we were going to perform? I played it because I enjoyed playing it. I never really practiced for an abstract sense of becoming ...


6

In your question, you say that he's damaged a phone, 2 tablets then lost another tablet. You must have replaced these so he knows that it doesn't matter what happens to his things, he'll get new ones. Equally, you ask him to find out about his grades, he doesn't and you go ahead and do it for him. Again, he knows he doesn't have to do anything because ...


4

You could also treat this as a chance to understand literature. Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast are medieval mutations of the ancient legend of Psyche and Cupid, in which the heroine (Psyche) has a much more active role. Cinderella's conflict with her step mother was a medieval update of Psyche's struggle against the jealous Venus to win the hand of ...


3

Most of the advice before me is good advice. Here is my 2 cents. As a father with two high school dancers that have danced since age 3 - one daughter just shows up. The other daughter practices before dance class and then practices after dance class. The daughter that just shows up - she's tired of dance and does not want to dance after high school. ...


3

Get rid of the video games for the summer. That's what I did. He only gets his games between 8 pm and 10 am, after that they are gone. Sign him up for camping where there are no electrical devices allowed. If he keeps being allowed in video games he will continue sitting in his room, playing them. Since I did that he got into basketball, and going ...


3

Children need fairy tales. They need simple moral instructions that convey the advantages of moral behavior in ways that are meaningful to them. They deal with universal problems that preoccupy children's minds, and for this reason are interesting to them (and adults as well). Fairy tales teach that if one does not shy away from, but instead meets ...


2

At first, have you asked your daughter if she wants to attend a boarding school? If you haven't, consider letting her change a school again. Choose one she would be able to attend without moving away from you. If she's so sad, it will make no good for her, and especially for her health. Boarding schooling is good, but at this age it isn't necessary. Well ...


2

Leave him with his interpretation he will be fine. I see it as someone trying to escape a desperate situation, the Prince being a hero who will take her away from it all into a life of luxury and happiness.


2

You might look into whether he has some ADHD going on. The complaints you have about him sound a lot like my mother's complaints. I was always losing things, forgetting things. I would come home from playing all day and my Mom would say "Francine, where are your shoes?" Then it would come back to me that at some point in the day I had been wearing shoes. ...


1

Okay, you say you're punishing him, but what exactly for, and why? Psychologically a reward system would be better than a punishment system - say for every day he looks after his next tablet he gets +1 point, and 10 minutes of games. Every week if he asks his teacher about his grades (not sure why this should be his focus at 11 years old), he gets +2 ...


1

You are trying to go in at the deep end with the internal scissors. Start out simpler: Ask them to think about something they would only tell their very best friend about. Then have them imagine everyone knowing all of a sudden. Because that is, an a way, what is happening: you are mailing or IM'ing your best friend, and some person you don't even know can ...


1

"How do I convince my eleven-year-old to practice her dancing?" How about, don't? Let her decide for herself if she wants to invest the time practicing. You can push her, but she will resent you for it. Simply tell her that all the best dancers practice and stretch, so if she wants to be the best she should emulate them, otherwise she can just do it for ...


1

I'm not going to tell you to deliver an ultimatum, but... You are in a sense enabling the behavior. You could move her to a different studio as the other answers suggested, but if you are that concerned with your daughter going through the motions you could simply stop supporting her in doing so. Even if you are so financially well-off that the money is ...



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