Tag Info

Hot answers tagged

52

First, I think it is worth noting that gender identity and gender roles are not the same as sexual orientation--liking girly things is not the same as being gay. As far as your specific issues go, I agree with Rhea that these are not big signs that your son is experimenting with an alternate gender identity. Hanging out with girls, using female avatars in ...


51

Since you're not thrilled about the depiction of violence in the book, but are reluctant to have your child singled out as different, maybe you could read it with him and discuss the violence and brutality. Use this as a teaching situation, where you can listen to his interpretation of the violent themes in the book and add in your own two cents.


50

What you should not do is to simply talk badly about a favourite story of his. What you could do instead is put the story into perspective - and don't do this with this fairy tale alone, but with as many as possible. If you do this as an "early start to literary studies" you might actually do him a favour. Topics to cover could be: Core message or ...


46

I'm an autistic adult, the parent of an autistic adult, and a teacher of autistic children. The reason your daughter laughs when you're really angry with her is because your anger is frightening her. This might seem counter-intuitive to the neurotypical mind, until one considers that neurotypical laughter is frequently in response to someone being hurt, ...


30

You might consider that children are affected by violence differently than adults, especially violence in books. Their imagination isn't as horrible as ours. A lot of what makes the book impactful to adults will go right over a child's head, due to their inexperience and lack of maturity. If you've ever reread a book as an adult that you first read as a ...


29

I think my input on this matter should be quite useful, as I'm currently 17 (on the verge of 18, but that's irrelevant), and have done some drinking over the past year or so. My parents have no idea, or at least I assume they don't, and I don't intend for them to find out anytime soon, as I know I'll be punished to some extent. My father is an alcoholic, and ...


25

Is there any possible harm, if I tell my kid now about the hidden meaning of Cinderella? To a certain extent the "hidden meaning" you describe is a somewhat dystopian outlook on relationships. In general, it's considered unnecessary that a 10-year-old know the "cold hard truth" about everything. I don't think most people make decisions in their adult ...


23

First off, in terms of helping the child learn: Many/most schools have computer clubs. Encourage the child to inquire from other students, or ask the school professionals yourself. This will place the child with his peers developmentally, which is the biggest encouragement you can give. Talk to a computer teacher in the school if one exists. They may agree ...


22

My first answer comes from the addiction treatment, and says this: Don't bring the enemy into your home. That is to say, don't have sweets and junk in the house, or buy them for the children when outside. Opportunity is necessary for any crime. The second answer goes to motive. If the child is full and satisfied, she'll eat less junk. A nutritionist I know ...


22

At some point in your child's life they will do things not because you tell them to, but because they are the right thing to do. For example, a 40 year old pays their bills because in this society we pay our bills, not because their mother called and reminded them to pay their bills. As a parent, one of your tasks is to escort your child from the toddler ...


20

If you have 3 rooms for the children, then give each their own room, but with one condition that when guests sleep over, they must give up one room for the guests. That room should be the 20-year-old's because she's the only one not using it full-time in the first place. She's also the only legally adult person whom you are not obliged to house. Do not ...


19

Adolescent behaviour (the official term for teenage years) can start as young as 10, so I wouldn't worry that this is more than that, especially as that's going to be enough to deal with over the next 6-15 years (yes, it'll happily keep going into the mid-late 20's). There are millions of lines of text on how to deal with teenage misbehaviour, from the ...


19

This sounds like fairly common behavior for a boy that age. In fact, it sounds an awful lot like me at around 13-14. It may just be that he is testing boundaries, or it may be that he genuinely has an issue with doing his homework. The first step I'd suggest is finding out why he hasn't been doing his homework. Is he bored? Is it too tough? Does he ...


18

Here is a slightly different answer: "If you don't teach your children how to drink responsibly and how to effectively deal with alcohol, who will?" Assuming a mostly US audience (it's quite different in other countries that I lived in): Alcohol is illegal for anyone under 21. Providing alcohol to teenagers or enabling teenage drinking may get you into ...


18

I meet people at local meetups. Where I live there are about three Python meetups a month. My experiences have been great: excellent programmers who just like to talk shop. While you will likely meet others at your skill level, you won't meet people at your age level. It will mostly be older people (e.g. college age or higher), but if the goal is to talk ...


16

If he is 12 then it is a PERFECT time to have the sex talks with him. When my boy was 4 he walked in on us in the middle of the night, should have still been asleep. He is now 12 and still remembers but he doesn't seem to be any more or less interested or disturbed about that subject matter than other kids his age. He talks about it as if it was mater of ...


16

From my experience growing up bilingual, the problem won't be that your kids don't want you to speak the "foreign" language, but that they will refuse to speak the "foreign" language. (The fact that you will do uncool things is a given: you're the parent, anything you do is by definition uncool.) The only way to counteract this is to build up a good ...


15

I remember reading Lord of the Rings when I was 11. It opened my eyes to a whole world of wonderful literature that was genuinely interesting. Books with war and violence evoke strong emotions. While I agree that not every child is necessarily ready for dealing with those emotions at that age, I would say that it's up to parents and teachers to support ...


15

(Warning: Spoilers) Whereas the Hunger Games is a violent book, it is probably one of the few that shows the consequences of that violence. The death of Rue, the moral dilemma of kill-or-be-killed and the sacrifice of Katniss taking her sister's place all offer something for a child to learn. Even the death of foxface (I forget the character's name) was a ...


15

This can be a common issue in children who are very successful in almost anything: when they are motivated by success, and that success is easy to achieve, they see no reason to work hard to achieve basically the same success. The returns for additional success tend to be diminishing; being a big fish in a small pond can be very comfortable to someone ...


14

No. Based on personal experience, I'm going to answer no because it's a matter of family style. My family also had a liquor cabinet and it was not even high up so even a kid could reach it. But we were never tempted. We knew that liquor is adult stuff, and at some point we'd been offered something that tasted horrible. We just weren't interested. We ...


14

Some straight people have feminine tendencies like Cross Dressing and it could be a case of your son exploring an identity, or your son could be gay. Either way is a different lifestyle choice that will make his life more difficult. In every society in the world being gay is a negative and will expose gay people to ridicule at best and death at worst ...


14

Stephen King wrote a description about this once. "You're one of those people that, when King Laugh knocks, you can't keep the door closed." I'm the same way: laughter overwhelms me at sometimes very inappropriate times, and especially when I'm emotionally overwrought or very fatigued. It's apparently fairly common with folks on the autism spectrum. And ...


13

YES! Not only is it reasonable, it is IMHO parental malpractice not to limit video games, the internet, and telephone usage. Clearly, the video games have tremendous value to him. Among other things, that gives you powerful leverage! Use it well. My practice with video games, movies, texting, and any other similar amusement was: A daily limit is ...


13

Every family will need to decide the age for wearing make-up for themselves. It seems that marketers target, younger and younger children with beauty/make-up toys and products including glamour make-up dolls, "play" make-up and glamor photo shoots for very young children, and glamor magazines for preteens. Perhaps rather than set a precise age, parents ...


13

Are you paying rent to your mother? If you are paying rent, you should ask for a reduced rent since you are no longer getting your own room. Is there a basement? Another room on the main floor - something like an office or a den? Consider moving to one of these rooms. If you are not paying rent, you are unfortunately going to have to abide by her rules. ...


13

I'm 15, and I had this same problem about a year ago. There's an awesome community called HS Hackers on Facebook. To call it lifechanging would be a gross understatement. Hackathons are the best way to meet other talented (and often young) programmers. Hackathons are basically coding marathons. The best event to go to would be a CodeDay. It's a 24 hour ...


12

It depends on the privileges they have. Sometimes, giving them extra chores is appropriate (say, if they've broken something and you want them to make restitution.) Many times, though, you'll want to take something away from them. Anything short of food, clothing, and the roof over their heads is fair game-- depending on the severity of their rule ...


12

Sounds to me, like you and your daughter had a very healthy and honest conversation - and trust me when I say, those are the kind that work. I worked with adolescents for ten years as a health and science teacher as well as was advisor to a class of about 20 eighth grade kids each year. Considering the fact that I had around 100 kids each year I taught, ...


12

There potentially could be harmful outcomes of going into detail that is ahead of a ten-year-old's comprehension/experience/understanding: At that age, children are still children, and despite the media trying to persuade us otherwise, the world is a very safe place for the majority of people, and relationships, while rarely perfect are generally positive. ...



Only top voted, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible