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1

I have an adopted child, so I can relate. "Your first mother wasn't able to take care of you, so you came to live with Daddy and me." Where is her first mother? "I don't know where she is right now. But we're going to see her on Tuesday. Do you remember, we saw her last Tuesday?" Draw her family tree with her and put it on the wall. Show her a picture ...


6

When you say "She's not getting enough sleep", what do you mean by that? Is your meaning limited to "She's not getting the recommended/customary about of sleep", or is there any impact on her personality or behavior since this started? Have you talked to her to ask her if there's some reason she doesn't want to sleep? Can she explain what's going on in her ...


2

Some people naturally need less sleep, and that can manifest as early as childhood. With that said, is it possible that your daughter simply isn't getting enough exercise? I had terrible insomnia throughout childhood and learned as I got older that I require a high level of exercise throughout the week in order to sleep at nights. When my children are ...


5

Firstly, you have done a fantastic thing caring for your granddaughter. I would say use age appropriate responses as near to the truth without making it too much and only when she asks, making sure your granddaughter does not feel blame or responsibility for her mother. At 4, maybe a response could be, "your other mommy is not feeling very well and has to ...


2

I have had the sleeping issue with 2 of my children and the reasons were different. Has anything changed recently? Move? New school? Even a growth spurt? Or it could just be a phase. Keep to your routine, but see if maybe putting her to bed an hour or two later and then wake her at her usual time in the morning helps anything. Decide on a time limit on how ...


1

its important to reinforce that Every child needs atleast ONE ADULT who thinks that He or SHE is amazing and has faith in that child. As parents, when we encourage them and know them and love them, they grow in the security of that love and sometimes others' comments dont shake them as much. Spend time reinforcing when in the company of that child, that ...


7

First of all, a certain amount of this behavior is completely normal around this age, directed toward the main disciplinarian. They start seeing your expectations as "being mean" and they retaliate. Your daughter's case is only unusual in its degree. Your mother-in-law's behavior is also only unusual in its degree. Especially with mothers who doted on ...


5

Heide, The person who needs to be spoken sternly to, and punished, is your mother-in-law, and the person whose job it is to clear things up with her is your husband. Now, let's focus on your daughter: Worse things will happen in adolescence. Believe me. You will need to focus all your love for your daughter into being tolerant and not taking her comments ...


0

Take them out of that situation. It sounds like the child is being abused and you need to protect them. They are too young to protect themselves. Remove the child from their cousins and anyone else that may abuse them. Then when the child is old enough put them in a self defense course. It's not the child's fault they are being abused, it is not their ...


1

I only met my father a handful of times, and then he died when I was 14. I admire your efforts to enable your daughter and her father to have a direct relationship. Sometimes, the more you push someone, the more they resist. Try taking a break from "listing her virtues on the phone with him like you're trying to convince him of the merits of being ...


3

Your maturity, sensitivity and common sense are very evident, and your daughter is fortunate to have such a giving and loving mom. Kudos to you. You're absolutely right: you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. So, what to do? Legally, you can't just decide to end his visitation. To do that, you have to go to court and get a ruling to ...


0

You would probably not have done things this way with your child. You're in a difficult situation, though, because (I assume) you're not one of the primary caregivers. I think the best you can do is maintain open lines of communication with the parents, and build a strong relationship with your granddaughter.


-1

As hurtful as it might seem, this is perfectly normal behavior. The mum needs to just ignore it. Coming from a 4 yo, this doesn't mean anything. It's just words. Parents need to just accept that their little ones love them and need them, regardless of what they might say.


-2

I definitely agree with your basic principle: I didn't want my children to grow up to be mindless, subservient robots. I wanted them to learn to make decisions for themselves. BUT, you have to apply this principle taking the child's age and maturity into mind. I did not allow my children to "decide for themselves" whether to play in the middle of a busy ...


2

The reason people submit to authority is because it's a condition of associating with a group, to keep things harmonious and efficient. The main difference with children is they have a lot less choice over who they associate with. In other words, they usually don't have the choice to end an association with a group in lieu of submitting to its authority. ...


-1

Kids are just too funny. Say you love them. And show them the dickens film Oliver Twist. By no means show them the film with that rabid dog which gets shot at the end.


0

I agree that's far too young for anyone to be expected to defend himself, and that the problem is entirely with the older children, their parents, or both. I would talk to the other parents about the problem immediately. Then I would teach the other children to play nicely with him, and if any of them did such a violent thing as you say, I would remove the ...


0

Definitely don't write off the fact that a stay-at-home mom is taken for granted automatically by their children for being present most of the time (even if they don't think they get enough attention), and you are fascinating and "scarce" (economically speaking) simply by working and not being home all of the time. The stay-at-home mom is more constantly ...


3

It's impossible to answer because there are two sides to the question. From the child's side...with preschoolers there are so many different cries. A few examples: I want it my way. I'm tired/cranky. I'm scared. I'm sick. I'm upset (small thing). I'm upset (big thing). I don't like you/trust you. I cry because it's a habit. Since this is a ...


1

We've had good results telling our three year old to put the hands in front of her (not really pushing but creating a physical distance between her and and aggressor) and yelling loudly "no" (mostly to alert the adults nearby).


1

While it's not 100% relevant to you (unless you have more kids :) ) - one bit of advice I think makes sense is to not relate too many changes to the newborn in a way that makes the existing kids feel less of a priority. An example: friends of ours had two boys, each with their own bedroom. Their plan was to move the boys into bunkbeds in their own room when ...


1

Well its not possible for a parent to be around a 2.5 year kid all the time. Like my son he goes to school. Since there are other kids playing around it is possible for the child attender to lose control for may be few seconds and that is enough for a push or pinch. Here neither my child is wrong neither the other child because they are learning and self ...


2

Nai's answer is head-on with helping her find out WHY she is crying. She is crying for a reason, but she may not fully know what the reason is yet. Once she understands, a lot of the pressure that made her cry may already be gone. In addition, don't just make her stop, but offer alternatives. If she cries because of frustration, helping her find out what ...


-2

Being forced not-to-cry is not a good idea for 4yr old girl. Just let her cry, if her step-daddy do not allow her to do so. Pls take her in private to cry and stop when she's okay. Forcing is not good because of Throat, and Eye. She is being forced and she had to force again to her throat and eye to stop crying. Should let her cry in bathroom or outside of ...


-1

I sometimes tell my children I do not like them right now (when they have done something wrong) but that I will always love them with all my heart. That it is OK to be angry at someone (me at them, or them at me) but one must never, ever forget that we are a family and love is always there. I found that it helped them a lot to make the distinction between ...


1

At once I read this, I feel what I felt inside so long. And I want to explain you about that according to your post. I am also a daughter of my mom (who is angry almost everytime). I loved her so much. When I feel good things, I also want her to feel. When I eat good food, I want her to taste it too.. Now.. she started to refuse it, talking against every ...


4

I also have a four-year-old daughter, and she is very socially adept. She uses different techniques to get things she wants from different people, and she can be very dramatic for effect. If your daughter is at all like mine, she probably just enjoys the impact that her words are having on her mother, especially if her mom responds by trying extra hard to ...


12

In addition to the previous answers, which are good, it's also important to understand that small children live in a different world than adults (one full of mysteries) and that many words have different meaning to them. When you think of your daughter's love for her mother you probably think of the kind of relation that would leave a huge sore wound if her ...


3

(a) Looking away when someone is scolding you is normal, for both children and adults. When someone is saying something that is embarrassing to us, we tend to look at the floor, etc. (b) Personally, I think it is unnecessarily cruel to force a child to assist in his own punishment, and teaches subservience rather than good morals and ethics. From the ...


19

There are a couple of things going on here, and both will probably be due to attention. You said that mum finds it difficult. That means that she probably reacts slightly. This means that your daughter knows that she can say something that: Gets noticed. Gets a reaction. Brings attention. All attention, positive or negative is attention to a child. If ...


61

I think your instincts of jealousy are spot-on. My daughter did this starting when her little brother arrived home from the hospital, and every time she felt like he was getting more of Mama's attention, out came the verbal knives. Our fix was to schedule special one-on-one time with her when we could. And when things were just too crazy to carve very ...


-1

To me, the Jewish identity is not just about obeying the Torah verbatim. It's mostly about the community and the cultural identity. The community is very tight-knit, of course, which is one of its strengths. It seems clear to me that rote obedience to ancient prescriptions is not what most Jewish people consider fundamental to being Jewish. I went to a ...


0

Watch David Attenborrough's nature shows a family staple. We used to gather on the big bed with a computer and watch them together. There are dozens, many on Netflix. My oldest is now studying conservation biology in college. Just coincidence? Maybe . . . .


2

Essentially, thunder is caused by the air having to move incredibly fast because the lightning "pushes" it out of the way so quickly. (Technically, the heat of the lightning causes a compression of the surrounding air molecules which then expand outward) From that, we can develop a number of experiments or activities that illustrate these different ...


2

Does your child understand static electricity yet? If not, do you have anything to explain it with? (Rubbing sock feet on a carpet to get a little spark, for example.) If so, you can then explain that lightning is like that little spark but on a much much bigger scale, so much bigger that it's dangerous if it hits you, though a house protects you from it. ...


-1

Good question but, in my experience, the details don't matter -- he won't remember them any way. What he will come away with is a feeling of being "grown up" and worthy of an explanation, a belief that there's nothing magical or unknown about the event, that it's not dangerous even if it is scary, and that "Dad has it covered". He may remember some of the ...


3

"For me there has been no serious difficulty in reconciling the principles of true science with the principles of true religion, for both are concerned with the eternal verities of the universe." - Henry Eyring, chemist These words from Dr. Eyring have motivated me in my own life as I simultaneously pursue a Ph.D. in astrophysics while being very active in ...


6

Wonderful question! If you can steer away from the dogma that the written Word is literal truth (with all the contortions you have to go through to reconcile internal inconsistencies), you can focus on the bigger picture. Science and exploration comes naturally to small children. Fill a balloon with helium and watch it float up. Plant seeds or bulbs in the ...


0

It strikes me that discussion of science and religion, while seeking out different kinds of truth, need not get wrapped up in questions of certainty and belief, at least not in the first place. First, both religious faith and science involve radical kinds of doubt: faith without doubt is pretty empty (no 'leap') and science without doubt is just incoherent. ...


0

To answer the part of your question about how should you teach science and help engender a passion for science in your kids, I would suggest that focus on science as experimentation and investigation of the world we live in. What happens when we add this to that, count how long between thunder and lighting. What falls faster, a feather or a leaf. How big ...


11

Science is a tool. Whether it is good or bad depends on who wields it. For all the controversy, things that allegedly conflict between science and religion rarely come up in practice. Personally, I find an evolutionary process to be a rather logical way to effect a creation for someone with infinite time and insight. Even if I didn't, I had to spend all ...


5

Science and religion need not be in conflict. You may be able to teach your children that science and religion both have parts to play in teaching people about life, the world, and the nature of God. There is no need for religion to teach one about the nature of molecules, nor is there need for science to teach about the nature of sin or spiritual ...


18

I personally don't think that science is inimical to faith and faith-based values. It can be a magnificent way to explore the intricacies of creation. You're probably versed in Ancient Near Eastern culture. There is nothing deceitful about a God who communicates with His people in a way they can understand, and in the ANE, that was through stories. ...


39

Rest assured that science and religion are not neccessarily a contradiction. Some of the best scientists of past and present time were deeply religious - and came from different religious backgrounds. As one commenter wrote, Georges LemaƮtre being one relatively modern example. The question of how to connect religious beliefs and teachings and scientific ...



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