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61

I think your instincts of jealousy are spot-on. My daughter did this starting when her little brother arrived home from the hospital, and every time she felt like he was getting more of Mama's attention, out came the verbal knives. Our fix was to schedule special one-on-one time with her when we could. And when things were just too crazy to carve very ...


39

Rest assured that science and religion are not neccessarily a contradiction. Some of the best scientists of past and present time were deeply religious - and came from different religious backgrounds. As one commenter wrote, Georges LemaƮtre being one relatively modern example. The question of how to connect religious beliefs and teachings and scientific ...


34

Well, I'm not keen on the idea that there is one set of activities which are suitable for girls and a different set of activities which are suitable for boys. I try to give my daughters the idea that they can be engineers, scientists, astronauts or dragon-tamers (ok, maybe lion-tamers) if they want to be when they grow up, and not limit their options to ...


29

I think that there are some people you should be comfortable with, comfortable enough to pass gas in their general vicinity and not have to apologize. And the closest family should certainly be such people. At home, when I'm not alone, I try to do it in the toilet, though I don't feel bad or ashamed to let one go when my wife or LO is near. Seriously, ...


24

In particular, we are wondering about the benefits of dolls. Helps develop coordination, motor skills, social skills, and imagination. Allows the child to act out different roles. Dressing, grooming, feeding skills are reinforced with doll play. Coordination when carefully carrying the doll, rocking, or pushing in a stroller. Helps add to the ...


19

There are a couple of things going on here, and both will probably be due to attention. You said that mum finds it difficult. That means that she probably reacts slightly. This means that your daughter knows that she can say something that: Gets noticed. Gets a reaction. Brings attention. All attention, positive or negative is attention to a child. If ...


18

I personally don't think that science is inimical to faith and faith-based values. It can be a magnificent way to explore the intricacies of creation. You're probably versed in Ancient Near Eastern culture. There is nothing deceitful about a God who communicates with His people in a way they can understand, and in the ANE, that was through stories. ...


16

Cook! Every kid should learn how. Start with pancakes (not a mix . . . make it from scratch!) If she's on the high side of four and you have an electric griddle, she could probably flip them with practice and you right there. Every time you repair something have her assist. My youngest daughter could replace a doorknob/lock set when she was seven because ...


15

It sounds like she might be scared of that particular instructor -- for whatever reason, silly or serious, I think that should be treated as valid. Ask her if she can explain what about him scares her. Swim with her yourself sometimes (not during a lesson) and try to observe particular actions in the water that scare her -- face in the water? water in her ...


14

Giving a doll to a child who would obviously love it isn't reinforcing a stereotype. Giving a doll to a girl who you know doesn't like dolls is. That's an important distinction. What you should worry about is avoiding letting her love of dolls blind you to her other interests and talents which you might also support. My 5 year-old daughter loves dolls, ...


12

From what I've heard from friends and acquaintances, it's pretty normal that a kid going to some kind of organized childcare (kindergarten, school, whatever) for the first time will get ill more often than usual; the reasoning behind this is that due to the many kids in one place, it's also easier to get viruses transmitted. The immune system of a kid who ...


12

I encourage my kids to excuse themselves when they pass gas. (Obviously the best-case scenario is that they are able to release it in the bathroom instead, but things happen.) I have a few goals with this: acknowledging that there's going to be a brief bad smell in the room, accepting responsibility for it, and begging pardon for inflicting it on the other ...


12

In addition to the previous answers, which are good, it's also important to understand that small children live in a different world than adults (one full of mysteries) and that many words have different meaning to them. When you think of your daughter's love for her mother you probably think of the kind of relation that would leave a huge sore wound if her ...


11

She should try to leave the room or the crowd if you're trying to avoid impropriety. A toilet is unnecessary when simply away from prying olfactory senses would do. Now to the meat of the issue: Stating that it is wrong or bad for a child, teen, or adult to pass gas is the same as stating it is wrong for them to sneeze or cough in public. If society as a ...


11

One way to encourage her to be a bit independent is try to engage in some less explicitly fun things together. "Well, right now Daddy needs to _____. Do you want to watch/help?" This might be: Fold some laundry. Do light yard work. Cook a meal. Tinker with the car. Write an email. Change a light bulb. Whatever stuff you do around the house that isn't ...


11

The sample behaviors you describe seem to concern different issues, not all of which I would perceive as materialistic behavior. I would suggest that you explore your feelings of discomfort to find out what is going on with you, what your values are and how you respond to the possibility that your daughter may not share them. It can be hard, I know. In the ...


11

Science is a tool. Whether it is good or bad depends on who wields it. For all the controversy, things that allegedly conflict between science and religion rarely come up in practice. Personally, I find an evolutionary process to be a rather logical way to effect a creation for someone with infinite time and insight. Even if I didn't, I had to spend all ...


10

Who is homeless, your daughter or her girlfriend? Is your granddaughter homeless? Do you have any reason to assume you granddaughter is in any danger other than your personal distaste of her choice of her mother's companion? Because if you don't have any reason to suspect abuse, all you'll be doing is saddling your daughter with a false accusation and ...


10

Although your son's behaviour might be strange to some people, it seems perfectly fine. Some children are daydreamers and your son seems to be one too. He lives in his own world and thoughts, so he just stands there and stares into open space. He forgets about the lunch and other activities, because they are not important to him or because he dreamed while ...


10

I am a game developer, and probably guilty of over-exposing my two daughters to video games. I make an attempt to limit the amount of time they get with digital devices, but introduced them both to touch devices at a young age. (At least we don't have a TV in the house! I'm more against exposure to mass media advertising than screens per-se.) My older ...


10

Buy a bunch of different coloured paper for colage work. Use old paper for papier mache. Explain that ripping up stuff for this is fine, but ripping up other things is not fine, and might be naughty and might have consequences. Explain that she needs to ask before ripping up anything that is not in the craft bucket.


10

My seven year-old only differentiates time out to about a week. He understands longer time intervals, but just doesn't care. To him, if it's not until next week, it may as well be next year. My four year-old often still says "tomorrow" when she means "sometime in the future." However, if I press her, she will admit she didn't mean tomorrow tomorrow, she ...


9

Your question needs some clarification but here's my answer. What is the reason that you think you need to call CPS? You mention finding out that your daughter is gay from her daughter. Is the issue that she is gay? You also imply that she is a neo-nazi, homeless and a drug addict. She was these things before and you didn't feel the need to intercede. ...


9

Toddlers this age (and younger) bite. That's just a fact. Most of them outgrow it fairly unceremoniously. They bite for a number of reasons, three of which are 1) reaction, 2) attention, and 3) frustration. Usually this frustration stems from not being able to "use their words" to adequately express their frustration. To combat this, show him all the time ...


9

I used to teach swimming lessons, and I found the easiest way to teach a young child swimming was to compare it to things. Glides weren't "front glides", they were "rocket ship glides", and so we'd put on our space suits and the blast off. I'd tell them the jets went behind them so they'd figure out how to kick. Back glides are spiderman glides, because you ...


8

It's a horrible experience having to drag a child kicking and screaming out of a place, but it's sometimes the right thing to do and unavoidable. When children get tired and overstimulated sometimes the best thing to do is get them somewhere quit where they can calm down. At 3 years old children pass the point of being able to reason with them pretty ...


8

I would suggest that you focus on separating why the child is misbehaving: Wanting to do something contraindicated Directly challenging authority/boundaries Wildness/out of control behavior The three kinds of misbehavior are very different in why the child is doing the action(s), and that drives how you discipline them. It sounds like your older child ...


8

I would guess your son is really asking "why aren't you together with [ex's name] anymore?" In case that's true, perhaps you can take the time to more fully explain the break-up to your son. Obviously he is young, so you'll have to tailor your explanation accordingly -- but I'd suggest giving him something more detailed than "we're not together anymore."


7

Gamification to the rescue! What if you set up a reward system where she earns new levels and rewards for only reading during appropriate times? She gets up to pee, resists opening that book and goes back to bed: new level. Does it five times in a row: another new level. At each level (N00b, Resister, Conqueror, Super-hero, etc.) she gets a new ...


7

The approach we took with our child was and is to just ask for clarification, or casually correct the word. she responds to something with "uh-huh" and I reply either "I can't understand you, can you please say yes or no?" or if I was sure of her reply, "How about yes?" I have found that making a huge big deal out of it is not especially productive.



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