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54

She goes to my mom and dad if I yell at her or if I say "No." Then I get in trouble. But that's not the point. Actually, that is the point. Especially considering: I don't want her to hate me like my mother and I hate one another It sounds like your parents aren't letting you be your daughter's parent. This is a major problem. You need to sit ...


34

Well, I'm not keen on the idea that there is one set of activities which are suitable for girls and a different set of activities which are suitable for boys. I try to give my daughters the idea that they can be engineers, scientists, astronauts or dragon-tamers (ok, maybe lion-tamers) if they want to be when they grow up, and not limit their options to ...


33

First off, your interaction with your toddler is totally common (I would say it's borderline universal, actually). Toddlers that age love to push boundaries. I would say two things - the first is, don't sweat it so much. If your kid only eats crap, let it happen. They're seriously not going to be a 20 year old who only eats chicken nuggets. Hitting and ...


29

I think that there are some people you should be comfortable with, comfortable enough to pass gas in their general vicinity and not have to apologize. And the closest family should certainly be such people. At home, when I'm not alone, I try to do it in the toilet, though I don't feel bad or ashamed to let one go when my wife or LO is near. Seriously, ...


24

In particular, we are wondering about the benefits of dolls. Helps develop coordination, motor skills, social skills, and imagination. Allows the child to act out different roles. Dressing, grooming, feeding skills are reinforced with doll play. Coordination when carefully carrying the doll, rocking, or pushing in a stroller. Helps add to the ...


17

From what you describe, it sounds like you're making a huge and sensible effort to be a good parent. I think you would do well in a situation where you are not overruled. But it's clear from your description that your parents are overruling your parenting decisions, and this is the thing that causes you the most grief. This is what you should work on -- ...


16

Cook! Every kid should learn how. Start with pancakes (not a mix . . . make it from scratch!) If she's on the high side of four and you have an electric griddle, she could probably flip them with practice and you right there. Every time you repair something have her assist. My youngest daughter could replace a doorknob/lock set when she was seven because ...


14

Giving a doll to a child who would obviously love it isn't reinforcing a stereotype. Giving a doll to a girl who you know doesn't like dolls is. That's an important distinction. What you should worry about is avoiding letting her love of dolls blind you to her other interests and talents which you might also support. My 5 year-old daughter loves dolls, ...


13

We mostly only ask one of our children to stop crying, and that's because he will literally keep going for hours if we don't. Most children get it out of their systems in a couple minutes and move on, at least for crying about something that happened in the past and is done, not an ongoing condition like being tired or sick. At a certain point, crying ...


12

Assuming you're not your granddaughters legal guardian, remember that your granddaughter is not your daughter. When a parent (read: any legal guardian) is present, knows what is going on and has okayed it, you are not to interfere. The only exceptions are when she is (in danger of) hurting herself, or hurting you or something of yours. If those ...


12

From what I've heard from friends and acquaintances, it's pretty normal that a kid going to some kind of organized childcare (kindergarten, school, whatever) for the first time will get ill more often than usual; the reasoning behind this is that due to the many kids in one place, it's also easier to get viruses transmitted. The immune system of a kid who ...


12

I encourage my kids to excuse themselves when they pass gas. (Obviously the best-case scenario is that they are able to release it in the bathroom instead, but things happen.) I have a few goals with this: acknowledging that there's going to be a brief bad smell in the room, accepting responsibility for it, and begging pardon for inflicting it on the other ...


11

First of all, your daughter's behavior is perfectly normal for her age. I don't know if that thought is terrifying or comforting. They are basically hardwired to seek out the adult of least resistance. The usual way for households to survive that stage is by all adults getting on the same page, which is sometimes easier said than done. Your parents don't ...


11

She should try to leave the room or the crowd if you're trying to avoid impropriety. A toilet is unnecessary when simply away from prying olfactory senses would do. Now to the meat of the issue: Stating that it is wrong or bad for a child, teen, or adult to pass gas is the same as stating it is wrong for them to sneeze or cough in public. If society as a ...


10

Who is homeless, your daughter or her girlfriend? Is your granddaughter homeless? Do you have any reason to assume you granddaughter is in any danger other than your personal distaste of her choice of her mother's companion? Because if you don't have any reason to suspect abuse, all you'll be doing is saddling your daughter with a false accusation and ...


10

My seven year-old only differentiates time out to about a week. He understands longer time intervals, but just doesn't care. To him, if it's not until next week, it may as well be next year. My four year-old often still says "tomorrow" when she means "sometime in the future." However, if I press her, she will admit she didn't mean tomorrow tomorrow, she ...


9

Although your son's behaviour might be strange to some people, it seems perfectly fine. Some children are daydreamers and your son seems to be one too. He lives in his own world and thoughts, so he just stands there and stares into open space. He forgets about the lunch and other activities, because they are not important to him or because he dreamed while ...


9

I am a game developer, and probably guilty of over-exposing my two daughters to video games. I make an attempt to limit the amount of time they get with digital devices, but introduced them both to touch devices at a young age. (At least we don't have a TV in the house! I'm more against exposure to mass media advertising than screens per-se.) My older ...


9

Your question needs some clarification but here's my answer. What is the reason that you think you need to call CPS? You mention finding out that your daughter is gay from her daughter. Is the issue that she is gay? You also imply that she is a neo-nazi, homeless and a drug addict. She was these things before and you didn't feel the need to intercede. ...


9

Toddlers this age (and younger) bite. That's just a fact. Most of them outgrow it fairly unceremoniously. They bite for a number of reasons, three of which are 1) reaction, 2) attention, and 3) frustration. Usually this frustration stems from not being able to "use their words" to adequately express their frustration. To combat this, show him all the time ...


8

Back when I was a student teacher, my supervising teacher taught me a valuable thing about child psychology: kids (these were elementary-school kids) tend to focus on one person as the authority figure. If I was teaching a lesson at the front of the room but my supervising teacher was still watching in the back, as far as the kids were concerned, he was ...


8

Sounds like he's a social kid with a lot of energy. How often does he go out to see other kids? How often does he get outside? My almost-three year old does play with toys, but he's honestly happier 'bouncing around' or outdoors. Kids are unique, and some tend more towards imaginative play with toys, while some tend towards social play. Overall, it ...


8

It's a horrible experience having to drag a child kicking and screaming out of a place, but it's sometimes the right thing to do and unavoidable. When children get tired and overstimulated sometimes the best thing to do is get them somewhere quit where they can calm down. At 3 years old children pass the point of being able to reason with them pretty ...


8

I used to teach swimming lessons, and I found the easiest way to teach a young child swimming was to compare it to things. Glides weren't "front glides", they were "rocket ship glides", and so we'd put on our space suits and the blast off. I'd tell them the jets went behind them so they'd figure out how to kick. Back glides are spiderman glides, because you ...


8

Buy a bunch of different coloured paper for colage work. Use old paper for papier mache. Explain that ripping up stuff for this is fine, but ripping up other things is not fine, and might be naughty and might have consequences. Explain that she needs to ask before ripping up anything that is not in the craft bucket.


8

I would suggest that you focus on separating why the child is misbehaving: Wanting to do something contraindicated Directly challenging authority/boundaries Wildness/out of control behavior The three kinds of misbehavior are very different in why the child is doing the action(s), and that drives how you discipline them. It sounds like your older child ...


7

Being four is really different between kids and your guesses as to the cause of your niece's sensitivity are probably all accurate to some degree some of the time. The main thing is that she have people around her to guide her (with principles like Karl Bielfeldt offers) and with love. Her sesnitive side just means she will receive your corrections and ...


7

Your Mom thinks she loves you but she needs to win! She treats it like a contest. She has many hidden ways of manipulating you and she is hitting you, too. Now she is winning the contest of being a parent to your daughter. All in the name of love, because she doesn't see that the goal of raising a child is to raise an independent strong person. You ...


7

As @Joe commented, there could really be lots of reasons for that behavior. It could be a combination of reasons. And in order to handle it the right way (as opposed to achieving a temporary deceiving quiet), the root causes are better be exposed. There are some root causes. Let's try to narrow it down. Does your child have no discipline whatsoever? You ...


7

There are any number of conditions that might describe your granddaughter's behaviour but none that would be helped by the school's actions. It is seems quite common for children to have low level issues that remain hidden until they reach school. These can be managed if diagnosed correctly, even if the diagnosis is simply that the child is a bit young and ...



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