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61

I think your instincts of jealousy are spot-on. My daughter did this starting when her little brother arrived home from the hospital, and every time she felt like he was getting more of Mama's attention, out came the verbal knives. Our fix was to schedule special one-on-one time with her when we could. And when things were just too crazy to carve very ...


39

Rest assured that science and religion are not neccessarily a contradiction. Some of the best scientists of past and present time were deeply religious - and came from different religious backgrounds. As one commenter wrote, Georges Lemaître being one relatively modern example. The question of how to connect religious beliefs and teachings and scientific ...


19

There are a couple of things going on here, and both will probably be due to attention. You said that mum finds it difficult. That means that she probably reacts slightly. This means that your daughter knows that she can say something that: Gets noticed. Gets a reaction. Brings attention. All attention, positive or negative is attention to a child. If ...


18

I personally don't think that science is inimical to faith and faith-based values. It can be a magnificent way to explore the intricacies of creation. You're probably versed in Ancient Near Eastern culture. There is nothing deceitful about a God who communicates with His people in a way they can understand, and in the ANE, that was through stories. ...


12

In addition to the previous answers, which are good, it's also important to understand that small children live in a different world than adults (one full of mysteries) and that many words have different meaning to them. When you think of your daughter's love for her mother you probably think of the kind of relation that would leave a huge sore wound if her ...


11

Science is a tool. Whether it is good or bad depends on who wields it. For all the controversy, things that allegedly conflict between science and religion rarely come up in practice. Personally, I find an evolutionary process to be a rather logical way to effect a creation for someone with infinite time and insight. Even if I didn't, I had to spend all ...


7

First of all, a certain amount of this behavior is completely normal around this age, directed toward the main disciplinarian. They start seeing your expectations as "being mean" and they retaliate. Your daughter's case is only unusual in its degree. Your mother-in-law's behavior is also only unusual in its degree. Especially with mothers who doted on ...


6

Wonderful question! If you can steer away from the dogma that the written Word is literal truth (with all the contortions you have to go through to reconcile internal inconsistencies), you can focus on the bigger picture. Science and exploration comes naturally to small children. Fill a balloon with helium and watch it float up. Plant seeds or bulbs in the ...


5

Science and religion need not be in conflict. You may be able to teach your children that science and religion both have parts to play in teaching people about life, the world, and the nature of God. There is no need for religion to teach one about the nature of molecules, nor is there need for science to teach about the nature of sin or spiritual ...


5

Heide, The person who needs to be spoken sternly to, and punished, is your mother-in-law, and the person whose job it is to clear things up with her is your husband. Now, let's focus on your daughter: Worse things will happen in adolescence. Believe me. You will need to focus all your love for your daughter into being tolerant and not taking her comments ...


4

I also have a four-year-old daughter, and she is very socially adept. She uses different techniques to get things she wants from different people, and she can be very dramatic for effect. If your daughter is at all like mine, she probably just enjoys the impact that her words are having on her mother, especially if her mom responds by trying extra hard to ...


3

Your maturity, sensitivity and common sense are very evident, and your daughter is fortunate to have such a giving and loving mom. Kudos to you. You're absolutely right: you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. So, what to do? Legally, you can't just decide to end his visitation. To do that, you have to go to court and get a ruling to ...


3

(a) Looking away when someone is scolding you is normal, for both children and adults. When someone is saying something that is embarrassing to us, we tend to look at the floor, etc. (b) Personally, I think it is unnecessarily cruel to force a child to assist in his own punishment, and teaches subservience rather than good morals and ethics. From the ...


3

"For me there has been no serious difficulty in reconciling the principles of true science with the principles of true religion, for both are concerned with the eternal verities of the universe." - Henry Eyring, chemist These words from Dr. Eyring have motivated me in my own life as I simultaneously pursue a Ph.D. in astrophysics while being very active in ...


3

It's impossible to answer because there are two sides to the question. From the child's side...with preschoolers there are so many different cries. A few examples: I want it my way. I'm tired/cranky. I'm scared. I'm sick. I'm upset (small thing). I'm upset (big thing). I don't like you/trust you. I cry because it's a habit. Since this is a ...


2

Essentially, thunder is caused by the air having to move incredibly fast because the lightning "pushes" it out of the way so quickly. (Technically, the heat of the lightning causes a compression of the surrounding air molecules which then expand outward) From that, we can develop a number of experiments or activities that illustrate these different ...


2

Does your child understand static electricity yet? If not, do you have anything to explain it with? (Rubbing sock feet on a carpet to get a little spark, for example.) If so, you can then explain that lightning is like that little spark but on a much much bigger scale, so much bigger that it's dangerous if it hits you, though a house protects you from it. ...


2

The reason people submit to authority is because it's a condition of associating with a group, to keep things harmonious and efficient. The main difference with children is they have a lot less choice over who they associate with. In other words, they usually don't have the choice to end an association with a group in lieu of submitting to its authority. ...


2

Nai's answer is head-on with helping her find out WHY she is crying. She is crying for a reason, but she may not fully know what the reason is yet. Once she understands, a lot of the pressure that made her cry may already be gone. In addition, don't just make her stop, but offer alternatives. If she cries because of frustration, helping her find out what ...


1

its important to reinforce that Every child needs atleast ONE ADULT who thinks that He or SHE is amazing and has faith in that child. As parents, when we encourage them and know them and love them, they grow in the security of that love and sometimes others' comments dont shake them as much. Spend time reinforcing when in the company of that child, that ...


1

I only met my father a handful of times, and then he died when I was 14. I admire your efforts to enable your daughter and her father to have a direct relationship. Sometimes, the more you push someone, the more they resist. Try taking a break from "listing her virtues on the phone with him like you're trying to convince him of the merits of being ...


1

At once I read this, I feel what I felt inside so long. And I want to explain you about that according to your post. I am also a daughter of my mom (who is angry almost everytime). I loved her so much. When I feel good things, I also want her to feel. When I eat good food, I want her to taste it too.. Now.. she started to refuse it, talking against every ...


1

We've had good results telling our three year old to put the hands in front of her (not really pushing but creating a physical distance between her and and aggressor) and yelling loudly "no" (mostly to alert the adults nearby).


1

While it's not 100% relevant to you (unless you have more kids :) ) - one bit of advice I think makes sense is to not relate too many changes to the newborn in a way that makes the existing kids feel less of a priority. An example: friends of ours had two boys, each with their own bedroom. Their plan was to move the boys into bunkbeds in their own room when ...


1

Well its not possible for a parent to be around a 2.5 year kid all the time. Like my son he goes to school. Since there are other kids playing around it is possible for the child attender to lose control for may be few seconds and that is enough for a push or pinch. Here neither my child is wrong neither the other child because they are learning and self ...


1

You're correct that your son "should" have more empathy at this age, certainly not in all situations, but these are basic and easily comprehensible by a 3.5 year old, especially maternal distress. Recent developments in research cast doubt on early conceptions of young children as primarily egocentric and incurring of others’ needs. Studies reviewed ...



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