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17

You are dealing with two issues here: stool toileting refusal and the associated constipation. Constipation: Your doctor is probably recommending an enema because an impaction is preventing defecation at this point. I have an acquaintance who has had success in this same situation using a commercial suppository that is administered by eyedropper – you ...


10

Three ideas (one you might not like, but if it works...): Make sure he goes to the bathroom just before bed. Did wonders for our daughter. Try some higher-absorbency pullups. Since he's almost 6, maybe move to GoodNights or something similar for older kids with bladder control issues. You might just be overloading the capacity of the diaper. If you can ...


10

Potty training is so fun with kids. It's one step forward, two steps back, three steps forward, a shuffle to the side... In short, this sounds like one of the usual stops along the route towards full potty training. I don't see that you're doing anything wrong. Have you tried to talk with her about it? I don't know how verbal she is; my daughter was VERY ...


9

I hate to say this (and I SWEAR it's not a pun) but it depends. For our daughter, pull-ups were more of a hassle than they were worth. She treated them like a diaper and was not interested in going into big-kid undies until we took them away and replaced them with training panties (the thick kind that can be soiled without causing a level 4 hazmat ...


8

I would suggest you make a routine with your child to go to toilet more often, even if he/she says it's not needed. Often just sitting there makes it happen and creates a nice feeling of relief. This way the whole subject will receive less importance which is often the source of the problem taking so long time to disappear.


8

As Valkyrie said, no child goes to college in diapers. Don't put too much pressure on yourself or her as that tends to make things worse. If she has an accident, just gently remind her that pee pee and poop go in the potty--which she knows all ready, but you know how often you have to remind kids about stuff! Then find a way that she can help you clean up ...


8

Since toddlers (and babies) have been (and still are in various other cultures) potty trained this young and younger, apparently without a problem, The missing word here is some - some toddlers have been potty trained this young. Every child is different. Potty training combines two completely different developmental aspects: Physiological - ...


6

Is he able to articulate at all why he's scared to poop? (Our daughter was afraid of what happened to the poop after it was flushed. Once she groked that she was good to go.) Finding the reason for his fear will probably go a long way towards you finding a solution for this problem. Maybe try the book It Hurts When I Poop. Did wonders for my nephew with ...


5

I agree with this other answer here and that's exactly what we are doing with our own daugther and this is obviously helping As for the original question: How to tell if a 4 year-old child deliberately postpones urinating until the last possible moment From long time of observing our daughter, she has the same behavior as adults who hold their ...


5

We just had the exact same problem (the first we'd know was some brown marks on rug in the bathroom). For us, we were able resolve it with a reward chart with a star whenever he told us he'd been and, importantly, told us before he sat down somewhere! Once he'd managed five in a row he got a small treat. Lots of praise when he did tell us and didn't sit ...


4

She might have some sort of fear or concern about going potty that she's unable to verbalize; talk to her. A lot. Maybe she's scared it will hurt, maybe the unknown is bothering her, maybe she's afraid that once she's not wearing diapers/pullups any longer, she'll embarrass herself? There are books that we used that helped quite a bit too: Everyone Poops ...


4

Generally speaking, I believe intrinsic motivation is always stronger and more lasting than extrinsic, and entails fewer risks (e.g. feeling entitled to rewards for routine tasks). Extrinsic vs. intrinsic motivation is touched upon in Why should children be rewarded for good behaviour? and How do I deal with a child that refuses to do a chore or task? ...


4

As the parent to a withholder (from 6 months to 2.5 years!) you have my sympathy, but I must stress to you that it's vital that you completely back off the pressure right now. She absolutely has to be 100% comfortable pooing first and foremost - and as inconvenient as it is if that is in her pants, THAT is where she needs to poo. Holding poo in can cause ...


3

My 3rd child was really stubborn, I ended up getting a large shoe box and filling it with dollar store toys as a reward treasure box. It did work eventually! All kids are different as far as their response to rewards. if your child suffers from anxiety, then rewards can be a trigger for anxiety.


3

Don't know how verbal he is, but have you sat him down and quizzed him about why he doesn't want to use the potty? I mean, as in throw out different possibilities (some serious, some silly) and see what he responds to? He may know why he's reluctant to use the potty, but unable to sufficiently verbalize it for y'all. We had a different issue with our ...


3

Have you thought of just taking a break? Some kids are gung-ho from the start, some go in fits and spurts. Maybe yours is indeed stressed from training and daycare and just needs some down time. Try going back to diapers for a week or two, or until he settles down and indicates he's ready to try again.


3

She's not quite ready. Keep her in a nappy for the next few months. Do keep the potty around and encourage her to sit on it, and get used to it, but keep the nappies on for now. My toddler was the same. We were convinced that by some trick we'd make her understand the peeing thing. She didn't... then one day she just got it. I don't think it was anything we ...


2

My boy was much like that. But NEVER move back steps as that is basically telling him it's okay to give up. As the "wait" can be a bit boring, give him a book or have a poster up in the toilet for him to stare at while he does his biz. Even a really cool printed toilet paper. Provide a reward. Not sure if you condone Chocolate, but if you don't then use cars ...


2

Have you tried to let him walk around the house naked? That way he can see and feel when he's missing on the floor (when that happens, simply say - "oh, you peed on the floor, next time you can do it in the potty", clean it and don't make a fuss), being naked at home also means he'll be naked while sitting on the potty. I think the best time for this ...


2

I got lucky when it came to potty training. All I had to do was ask her and she did it. Wow! Other tasks weren't so easy, though. I don't recall what it was I was try to teach her, but this is what I did and what I hope will help you by my sharing it. First, I would recommend not calling it "an accident". The reason being is that we all naturally want ...


2

From my understanding (also in progress!), the point of the extrinsic motivations, whatever they are, is to help get past the initial difficulties - for a chemist, think "activation energy". You want getting on the potty to be a comfortable, familiar experience, with positive associations. So you provide an M&M or a sticker. That allows the child to ...


2

To @Valkyrie's excellent suggestions, I would add that mastering toileting is your child's "job," and at this age you might consider making him part of the clean-up process. If the sheets are wet in the morning, he has to help pull them, he helps wash them, he helps put them back on the bed. By making him responsible for these daytime activities, he may ...


2

My younger son struggled with night-time wetting until he was 14. In his younger years, we weren't too worried about it; I had several friends who assured me he would grow out of it. He was a VERY heavy sleeper, and even if I went in to wake him for a bathroom break in the middle of the night, he didn't really wake up. I actually stopped doing that after I ...


2

I did the same with my boy once. We have a Mickey Mouse phone with a demo button and it starts moving and making sounds. I was holding my boy and made a jerking movement, to surprise him or so with a mind set of "oh geez, what is this all the sudden"... What was I thinking, so stupid... I instantly made him afraid. And it didn't go away by just putting the ...


2

I'd like to begin by welcoming you to the community and reassuring you that, yes, this is normal. Many people are under the assumption that potty-training is something you do once and then it is done, but with most kids it doesn't really work that way. They have to learn the basics about how to use the potty. Then they have to learn their body signals, ...


2

The initial goal should be simply using the potty. This creates a strong positive connection to the desired behavior, that is easy for the child to comprehend. I'd also recommend the reward be some sort of short, focused time with the parent - can be a game of patty cake, reading them a very short book. It's both relatively "free" and they can never eat too ...


1

The most important thing is that you let go of frustration. Let go of your expectations. It puts performance anxiety on your boy, and that will lessen the likelihood that he will notify you when its time to go to the bathroom/potty. When you take his diaper of, put him every now and then on the potty. Make it a routine, before going to bed, after he woke ...


1

It is common at this age for kids to be so engaged in their play, they deliberately hold it until something more boring comes along. Then, they forget they need to go until it is too late. (I taught preschool, and had the class of kids that were having accidents or were "in training" (they called me the potty wizard I mostly had 2's and 3's but had an ...


1

At the request of the OP I have added this as an answer and deleted the comment. I would like offer an alternative to the maxi pad suggestion: try wool long underwear. I have a heavy wetter (not toilet trained yet, but still...) and I had the same laundry issue as you. And it isn't easy changing crib sheets either, so I feel your pain. Anyway, you can find ...


1

In daycare, kids see another kids using the potty. I guess that helps. Our kids also started using the potty more often in daycare. We also offered M&M's for poops in the potty. However, our boy wasn't comfortable pooping in the potty. We bought a toilet seat reducer (that we called "little zero" in portuguese) and after seeing that we also used the ...



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