Tag Info

Hot answers tagged

26

Take him to a psychologist. Not because he has a disorder, but because he is highly intelligent and both you and he need to learn how to deal with this gift. Your son needs peers who share his intelligence. I don't know where you live, but any psychologist worth the name knows of local organizations that help highly intelligent children socialize with other ...


20

First of all, recognize there is a difference between having a favorite, and engaging in favoritism. I think having a favorite is somewhat unavoidable, unless your children all happen to have personalities that mesh equally well with yours. When having a favorite becomes problematic is when you let it affect your words and actions toward your children. ...


12

Actually there are theories that contradict what you guys are saying. None of you are citing any sources for your theories. For instance: children might exaggerate their plight since you won't listen to minor gripes. Telling a tired, hungry and upset kid to speak in its normal voice... well, hasn't worked for me. Do you guys want to know what has worked? ...


12

The short answer is that there is absolutely no way to accurately quantify the extent of influence parenting has on children. There are just too many variables. Genetics, birth order, familial influences outside of parents (siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, etc.), geographic/regional, educational, and peer interactions all play a part. ...


10

I hate this answer, but: it depends. Mathematics alone won't do anything. In your observation you are correlating mathematics skills with personal behaviour. What you can't see is whether math made them who they are or who they are makes it easy for them to understand math. Focusing on becoming very good at something is character building. Encouraging your ...


9

Show him Star Trek, the original series (Kirk, Spock, McCoy & c.). From episode 1 on. Seriously, if there's a simple way to communicate optimism, inclusion, love for science and empathy for other beings, it is this sci-fi show. Brilliant as he is, he will surely appreciate the ongoing debate between rationality (Spock) and passion (McCoy), and the ...


7

Life is, indeed, meaningless. There's nothing wrong with your kid. I was just like him - I had zero friends and didn't like talking to anyone. Then I gradually began to become more social, and now, in my mid-thirties, I have friends begging to hang out with me every single day of the week. Life is wonderful - but yeah, still meaningless overall. Don't ...


7

If John is not using "Rob Smith" and is instead using "Rob Ford" it doesn't seem like it would be much of an issue. No one will ask the adult Robert Smith , "Hey are you also that author Rob Ford?" Also if the novels become really big and John has book signings he wouldn't be spoken to using the psudoname he would still be called John Smith if he was ...


7

Why do some parents have a favorite (or least favorite) child? One possible answer would be that there are parents who want to see a version of themselves in their children - or what they would like to have been. The children that match that view are favored, those who don't are less favored. Imagine a major league football player who has a son who ...


6

Oh my GOD! Your son is terrific. He is 1 in a million. Don't push him for anything(at least for now). First delve into his mind and "study" all the things he thinks. If you want to have conversation with him, you are gonna have get into his mindset. First of all, believe what he said is true then question him seriously about the statements and their ...


6

Some people object to older cartoons as being politically incorrect, violent etc, but I agree with you that the classics contained useful messages about good and evil, right and wrong. That said, many modern cartoons also bring a good message, so I would suggest allowing them to see cartoons from any era but just check age appropriateness.


6

If you replace "mathematics" with "hard science" or "engineering" then I think I see where you're going with this. Much like the first answer, I believe that logical thinking and a good understanding of how things work make it easier to be organized -- but it doesn't help with personal character per se. You could be a math genius, or a fantastic engineer, ...


6

About personal character not so much, learning maths won't change who you are. However it will help with logical thinking and problem solving throughout your live, thus it will help with confidence in solving tasks/activities. The good thing about math is passion. With my experience math helped me in this way. Having a passion to solve something gives you ...


5

One of the possible reasons is fear. You are a psychologist, I am probably telling you nothing new with this sentence :) but here is an example of how it can work: My aunt has two children younger than me. The boy is two years older than the girl. My aunt and uncle were always afraid that the older boy might start bullying his defenseless little sister. As ...


5

That is a part of it. When children know that, when they whine, they get what they want, they'll use their new tool. To discourage it, you have to show them that whining doesn't get them what they want: Ignore minor whining - Basic Pavlovian behavior modification; reward good behavior, ignore bad behavior. If they're whining about general "the world isn't ...


5

The natural consequence of teasing/arguing/fighting with your sibling is that you are teasing/arguing/fighting with your sibling, and this means that one or both of you are unhappy or hurt. The instigating sibling is also teaching the other what they think is an acceptable way to interact with siblings. Therefore, they can expect the other sibling to use the ...


4

Her problem was very much my problem when I was younger and it still comes out a bit today when I am not careful. Carnegie's book was a fundamental assist for me - I studied it, memorized much of it, and lived it. Coupling that knowledge with some anaylsis of humans helped me reach a much more balanced view. I had become so bent on humans not wanting to ...


4

As with any TV show, you should pick and choose. In my opinion, modern cartoons like "Jane and the Dragon" and "Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks" offer a lot more than Bugs Bunny. My 4-year old loves cartoons like "Shaun the Sheep" and "Fireman Sam". On the other side, I find cartoons like "Ben 10" tedious and violent so we tend to avoid those.


4

Congratulations - your son has discovered nihilism at the age of nine. My question is - how would you react if an adult you knew and cared about made such a speech? Personally I'd find it an interesting conversation to have, to which I would probably disagree with their position thoroughly. My answer to the nihilist question is 'Life is to be enjoyed, and ...


3

I think part of it depends on how old you are, and if you're any good at writing. If you're really good (able to make a ton of money from your writing), you want the real Rob to get his share of the money in return for your theft of his name. So you want to protect the book(s) for as long as possible. If you're old and expect to die soon, a pseudonym will ...


3

I think the causation is flipped. In my experience, getting very good at anything, but especially at something abstract like math, is difficult. People who overcome initial difficulties to become good at something generally do so because they have a strong character. A few do so because their parents essentially force them to (music lessons come to mind), ...


3

Consistency is also an important part of this: both parents have to stick to the same line, denying the opportunity for the child to say, "But Mom lets me do this!" (regardless of its truth). My wife says "I can't understand when you use that voice," and the kids generally drop into a normal tone immediately. (If you say "I can't hear you when you talk like ...


3

You have an astonishingly bright child for 9 years old. In fact, he appears to be so bright, that my response is not one that I would tell a "normal" 9 year old, but rather one that I would tell to an intelligent adult who can make up their own mind. I went through a similar phase myself, except I only came across it in my late 20s, rather than at 9. I ...


3

I agree with the sentiment of @monsto's answer, although saying parents contribute 100% to a child's outcome is an exaggeration. Answering a question like "why was child A successful and child B unsuccessul, despite having the same parents?" is very difficult and context-specific. There are so many factors at play. Parenting style definitely has a huge ...


3

Answering the topic question: How much of an effect does parenting style have on a child? My answer: 100%. That is to say that 100% of parenting style has an effect, not that parenting style determines 100% of personality. Answering the question at the end of the text: Is there any evidence that the parenting makes a big difference on who the child ...


3

I read this book when it came out The NURTURE ASSUMPTION: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do It makes the case that the environmental contribution to personality is mostly from peers, not parents (except in pathologically bad cases like abuse). One simple example is accent -- children tend to have the accents of their peers, not their parents. You'd ...


3

I see two main questions here: "Should I let my kids watch the older cartoons I grew up with?" (what you consider "quality cartoons") "Should I control what my kids watch?" Personally, I see no problem with sharing the cartoons of your childhood with your children. I, too, watched Tom and Jerry as a kid. Through the 20/20 vision of hindsight, I see ...


2

I don't know how much it builds character, but it provides one with an alternative (and perhaps even refined) way of thinking about problems (and perhaps even, the world). It never hurts to have different ways of thinking about problems. I would also like to add that learning how to write computer programs provides one with another way of thinking about ...


1

It looks like he came to a reasonable conclusion provided all the information available to him. I am a little alarmed by your statements He spends most of his time alone outside in a forest and the only time I speak with him is when he comes for dinner, breakfast and lunch. When he's home, he rarely talks to me other than on eating occasions. ...


1

I agree with pulp_fiction's answer - this kid is just a very introverted individual. Don't panic. Try to offer him lots of opportunities to socialize, but do it on his terms. He like science and math? What about clubs or camps. Take him to a meetup at the Smithsonian. Another question is does he like to game? He kind of sounds like a gamer. Try taking ...



Only top voted, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible