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1

I understand how you are feeling. I had an absent mother and father who divorced when I was young, and left me with my grandmother. I was not clothed, fed, helped with homework, or supported in any way by them. My grandma did the best she could, but she was poor and had cancer. I worked and put myself through college and graduate school. I now have my ...


1

First and foremost, with proper love and support, I'd suggest that children are very good at dealing with change -- though of course they may prefer not to have to deal with such change. At this point whether or not to divorce may be a choice but in an unhappy marriage things have a way of changing such that one party or the other will eventually force the ...


2

I'll share two related experiences. I was brought up by tiger parents, or chronically disapproving parents in a different cultural framework. In some respects it was torture but no pain, no gain. If this hadn't happened I may have grown up a more 'normal' person and I may have been happier but I probably would have been less successful. Is the added success ...


2

I'm a "tiger parent" to one of my daughters, but not to the other one. Here's my take. My oldest daughter does multiplication and division since age 3, she's now eight and does simple calculus. She loves science, especially physics, and since she knew that science would tell her how fast she must ride her bicycle before jumping the curve in order to have ...


8

So how should I communicate with those [who push their children to their limits]? You talk to them the way you would talk to any other parent. Respect their decisions and parenting style, try to learn from them, and share your concerns about their children with them. Try to avoid placing blame on the parents or their parenting style, that will often ...


9

I tried talking to them but most of them are not open-minded You're being equally, if not more, closed minded. You have your method of parenting and see it as better as theirs. It's not your place to tell other how to raise their children. Let them be. They don't walk up to you telling you to place your child in large numbers of extracurriculars, do ...


0

It can be hard to follow and keep up with university's studies and a work at the same time. Stastistics show that students with a job are far more likely to drop or fail than students that do not need to work for a living. A middle ground would maybe to tell your son to work during the vacations, after the exams and before the next school year. During ...


16

Assuming your opinion is the only right one is not really a sign of open-mindedness. There's no way you can say with certainty what way is better and, most likely, the best way actually lies somewhere in between - leaving some freedom and forcing some extracurriculars. Your children do go to school, don't they? They would have even more childhood if they ...


53

To rephrase the question you're saying you have a conflicting view with other parents on how their children should be raised and feel it's your place to pass judgement upon them or to change their ways somehow. It is not your place to do either, don't even try. Talk to them about how happy your child is, ask them about decisions they've made and look for ...


0

Making our teen daughter watch documentaries showcasing other peoples hardship, tragedies and/or lifestyle helped my daughter stop cutting. Also I was able to share my experiences with attempted suicide. This seemed to also be important. They need to see a larger world than the one they get from American pop culture. "On the way to School" is a good one ...


3

In addition to the other answers I want to recommend you to get counseling for yourself and your husband too. As a person with mental issues I experienced that my problems were hard to accept/understand for my mother and the people around me. They didn't know how to handle me and they hurt me without noticing (and how could they know). The problem is that ...


3

In addition to some of the good ideas already offered it occurs to me that there could be something wrong or damaging going on in her life that is not visible to you. In any case, if there is something that she is unable to deal with and unable to share there will be no amount of grounding and punishment that will make things better. Perhaps switch things ...


-2

Instead of grounding her, why not start following her around or have a kid in the neighborhood keeping an eye out what she is really doing when cutting school. Or find a mentor for her someone she can look up too and not share their private conversations with you, because to a kid trust is very important, and when kids can confide in someone in their life ...


1

Since you seem to be well off (by British standards) you could do an attic conversion or similar and make a self-contained flat for him. Then he would have to start looking after himself. You could slowly work up to charging the standard rent for your area, expecting him to pay his own bills and so on. Surely if your kid is not working at uni this will ...


2

I was reading some of the (much) earlier posts and something someone said about social anxiety struck a chord with me. This really reminds me of my situation years ago - before I had a clue what social anxiety was and how it affected my life. Social Anxiety (for me, at least) is an error in the triggering of fight-or-flight response. Normally this kicks in ...



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