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0

She promised to take him fishing on my week day without first checking with me. After I said that I had plans with him on that day (during my time that the consent order we have in place says), she told me that I had to tell him that I'm cancelling his plans to go fishing. And yes, after researching about PAS, I know that's a classic start. Optimal play ...


0

Unfortunately in this kind of battle, the mother will usually win. If you want to maintain a relationship with your little boy, you might simply have to work on being as nice as you can to his mum.


2

Put the weight on the heel of your hand and higher. I actually learned this from a personal trainer. He had me doing dumbbell curls and when the weight got higher, my wrists hurt all the time. So he asked me to instead of grabbing the weight, 'balance' it on the heel of my hand and hold it there with my fingertips (applies to hand facing up). It took a ...


0

I don't see the fail. He stomped on a car window and cracked it, and you got angry at him and took him down. As a child, he will do stupid dangerous things from time to time. It's within your remit as a parent to get angry. You're also human, you're not a stimulus response machine, you have emotions and this is acceptable. You do need to make sure your ...


2

I really agree completely with Kraami and Atif Abdul-Rahman. Adding few points of mine. Firstly I would like to say that I too am sailing in the same boat as of yours. I have a 2 year old son. I too had the same issues as you do but over a period of time I tried various things and got adjusted upto certain level. Below points based on my own learnings ...


5

Kramii nailed it and I have a confession to make. My first daughter 5 years back became the reason I truly started to learn how to organize my life. From a person with a lot of personal space yet not much of achievement, I became a person who had no personal space and far lesser time due to fatherhood yet with a lot of achievement and successful years. ...


5

You write that your day used to be very planned and organized, and that you had time for workouts, meditation, reading books and other stuff. In addition, your question was migrated here from Personal Productivity.SE. My first guess would be that you didn't have much slack built into your routine. Might that be right? I am all for improving your ...


10

These things help me: Time. Things get easier again when your kids get bigger. They'll never go back to the way they were... but they will get easier. Keep telling yourself that. It might even be true. Acceptance. You've got less time for you, work, etc. and that's just they way it is. Learn to see the time you invest in your child as more valuable than ...


1

The problems you describe are pretty normal for couples who have children. Brace yourself -- they get worse as you get more of them. It's a new lifestyle which you sooner or later will be accustomed to. What you can do to improve the situation is to be even more strict about keeping everything in order, including your calendar and to do-list, because ...


4

Michael Broughton wrote a phenomenal answer. I'll echo the general response that you should not be sheltering your children from the unhappy parts of life. Children grow by facing and overcoming challenges, not coddling. That all said, there is are two key things that I would draw out of these responses: First, it is of the utmost importance that you are ...


1

I grew up with a wonderful mother and Stepfather. I was very angry for a long time because I didn't know my father. They tried to protect me from the truth and when I was young I never appreciated that. As an adult I married (badly the first time) and I wound up having to keep the children clear from their father's life. He wasn't a terrible person, he ...


2

IMO, if a 12 year old child wants to talk to their father you have no right to prevent this, so if things happened the way you wrote, you did the right thing. However, I do question why your son would be upset and angry when calling his dad. Of course, from your POV he certainly had every right to be so. But maybe things would have gone different if he had ...


23

As the step-dad to a great 17-year old whose father walked away when he was 4, yes you did the right thing. And I'd go one step further and say that you should defend the grandparents who have, for years, only been hearing one side of the story and so probably were being told by the sperm-donor that it was you blocking visitation. It's a shame that there is ...


14

It was the right thing to do. Imagine what could've happened if you "protected" you children more. They would only have your word against a father they might have imagined you removed from their lives. Now they know for sure who he is and they got to learn it on their own. You may have some short-termed trouble and feel bad, but in the long run - you did ...


40

I think you did right. Yes, this is a tough experience to be rejected like this when you are twelve, but if you really never bad-mouthed their father and still have the records of his (non-)visits, you did everything you could. If you kept him from contacting his paternal family, I firmly believe that this would have lead to some "mystified" image of how ...


2

Children can learn about and accept the different "roles" of mom at home and at work/church group/sports team/.... There are scores of dads coaching their children's teams, there are parents (or even siblings - much more potential for conflict and less emotional maturity involved!) leading church groups, boy scouts, dance classes, orchestras... There are ...


8

She is very beautiful girl and I do not trust the kids out there... Why do you distrust a 6 year old boy? A 13 year old boy, certainly. But a 6 year old? I would suggest that you examine carefully your fears and test them against reality. A 6 year old boy is as innocent as a 6 year old girl. Of course, if she's especially pretty, both boys and girls ...


3

It is good to hear you want to help your wife. I have 4 children aged 3 and under plus 2 older so I understand. If you and your wife have family that could help out in any way whilst you are at work then let them help don't feel guilty as the adjusting period won't last for long. If you take lunch to work prepare it yourself, the same with breakfast and ...



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