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1

Turn the question around. Why should I study so hard when you hold a college degree, work hard all your life and see what happened to you? "What did happen to me, exactly? I lost that job, sure. But look around you, see this house? If I hadn't gone to college, I would have never had that job in the first place. I'd be an assistant manager at a fast ...


1

Losing a job is gaining life. Even if you are a college degree holder, worked hard forever, and raised your kids to believe that college is the way to go, a loss of a job just means a chance to move onto something fresh. Possibly better, depending on the perspective. Plus, how much worse would things have been had he never got a degree and got the job he ...


1

Daring to kick father XXX in the pants in an attempt to try to assist in rising above the humiliation: Is father XXX now forever crippled and broken, never again to dare reach for greatness? Or is father XXX just currently jobless and humiliated for a spell while busily learning from this lesson how to become a stronger better person, and then forging a ...


5

"If I were not educated, we would not have all the things we currently have. Sure, today I don't have a job - but if I had not had a job for the last X years can you imagine where we would be and what kind of life we would be living?" "This joblessness is a bump in the road. Lots of people don't have jobs. Half of them don't have degrees - but I do. ...


10

The son could be helped with examining whether he actually thinks that it's true that higher education is useless, or just that this argument happens to fit with his current desire to not do the work. The way you do that depends on the child's age. If he is indeed interested in whether education makes a difference, perhaps show/discuss some data (if he's ...


1

There are a lot of answers already. Most (all?) of them are good. But there's one important piece of this that none of them address: how do you feel about your situation? It sounds to me from the wording of your question like you have some lingering doubts about your own life choices. You need to sort that out or you will lack credibility when attempting to ...


6

The way I handled this situation worked really well for me, perhaps it would for you... I explained that a job is just a job, and sometimes jobs suck, sometimes they are great, and sometimes both for different people. But in job loss, there is a great deal that is NOT lost. You lose your particular income arrangement and role in whatever operation you ...


4

The son is not asking a "rational" question. This is his feeling talking. Feelings need to be understood, feeling need help to convert to words. This is not a question to be answerd with logic. The son is saying "I have a bunch of weird feeling going on, I don't know how to express myself! Help!". Try to understand him, empatise with him and give words to ...


36

First and foremost, that logic is not sound. The argument boils down to "bad things happen no matter what, so why should I try?" To give an analogous example, I can take meticulous care of my car and it could run for 10+ years. But all that care will not put a magic ward around my car to protect it from a storm causing a flood or knocking a tree on to ...


1

Why not advise your son to learn a trade? Tell him that once you have a trade, no one can take that away from you. You will always be able to work.


14

It is unlikely the son concluded this after a calm and rational examination of his options, but rather was reacting in the heat of the moment. Establish in subsequent discussions that the son's logic isn't particularly sound. Advanced education provides a lot of opportunities. It does not guarantee permanent success (as the father has found), but it opens ...


21

Could tell him it is the difference between having a chance and having no chance. People can work hard and do all the right things and still end up unemployed with a low standard of life, but on the whole it happens a lot less to educated hard working people than uneducated layabouts. Also there is more to education than just getting a job, it is far easier ...


1

I had mommy thumb too and ended up going to an orthopedist for help. Here's what he told me, which worked almost immediately... When picking up your child, don't hook your hands under the arms. Instead, grasp his/her torso and squeeze in. This transfers the strain from your thumb (where the tendon is strained), to the entire hand and your forearm. It also ...


0

I am divorced, but we managed not to make it traumatic for our daughter at all. We bought a book together for the last time. I would recommend it to you, but unfortunately it's in German and I don't know an equivalent book in English. ("Gl├╝ckliche Scheidungskinder", literally "Happy divorce children", by Swiss paediatrician Remo Largo.) Some things I ...


2

I agree with the previous answers in that you may not k ow the whole story (based on your short question), but I disagree that it's ever ok to tell a child they have no reason to cry. A child doesn't understand the difference between "this doesn't warrant such an emotional response" and "you're not allowed to cry over this". I always cringe when I hear ...


-1

It's a two-year-old question, but a couple of thoughts: I don't see anything categorically wrong with a parent crying in front of a child ... but I think you need to be careful that you do not burden a child with adult concerns. If grandpa just died, I think it's quite appropriate for parent and child to cry together. We can't hide the fact that grandpa ...


4

I certainly agree that it is wrong to tell a child (or an adult, for that matter) that the only legitimate reason to cry is if they have suffered physical injury. On the other hand, your brief account above doesn't necessarily tell the whole story. I don't know if you know the whole story. Did you just overhear a snippet of a conversation in passing? Or ...


9

There's a difference between an emotion and its expression. Crying in children is a social signal, "I need someone urgently to fix my problem." Parents who tell their children not to cry about something aren't telling them it's not okay to feel that emotion, they are telling them, "This is not something that requires the urgent degree of other people's ...



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