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First, ask yourself honestly: would you react the same way if it were a friend of the opposite gender? Or is part of your reaction based on gender and gender preference? If it is, step away from this and get hold of yourself first. She's 14 and learning about herself. She has a first crush; do you remember your first love? It seems all-encompassing at ...

I worry a bit about this statement: "It's not that I'm against that lifestyle, I just not sure that at this stage that I need to be encouraging it either." First, sexual identity is not a "style", per se. Try reversing it to see how it fits: could you just decide that, from now on, you would prefer to have sex with the same gender, and have it happen ...

I see a few issues here. First, is snooping through her iPhone. Is she aware of this? Is there an agreed upon understanding that what's on that phone is for you to look at? If not, the first issue is one of trust. A teenager with a snoopy parent is likely going to open up a lot less once they find out. So you're going to have to broach the issue carefully. ...

Being a lesbian, bisexual woman, or other is a sexual orientation, not a lifestyle. I wouldn't conclude just on the basis of what you've posted that your daughter is definitely a lesbian. However, if she is, your best bet is to be supportive-- both from the perspective of supporting her as a loving parent who wants her to be free from psychological ...

Just found out my daughter might be gay. Now what? The fact that that there may be a same gender relationship as opposed to an opposite gender relationship is totally irrelevant here as far as you are concerned. To take it further there is nothing in your OP at all to indicate that there is any sexual relationship at all. Don't confuse homosexuality ...

I see two aspects in this, summed up in these words: one one side, the son is a guest and should respect the house rules and/or the wishes of the hosts, on the other side, the parents are making a rather silly demand on their son because he is no longer legally underage and doesn't need to be supervised. In the end, the parents are the hosts, and ...

How to disagree and still come to an amicable resolution (aka Negotiating for Parents 101) Péter Török makes good points about each parent explaining the impact of certain decisions on the family. I am going to elaborate on Swati's note to pick your battles. In our house, when things become contentious, there are usually three types of dispositions on an ...

There's a lot of research about fighting in front of your children, but I couldn't find anything particular to crying. I think in general expressing emotions is a good thing. I've even found it useful at times to exaggerate my emotion to kids too young to pick up on subtle facial cues. It helps teach them to act with empathy. For example, a two year-old ...

There are a couple of issues here. Your child throwing tantrums and dealing with that has been addressed by others. Then there is the cultural issue of how the interaction between an Indian parent and child should be. I'll try to address that. I'll explain the emotions in the t-shirt issue, for example. For example, he had to wear a yellow t-shirt to ...

Fix the problems between you and your wife and everything else will fall into place. First things first. There can be no positive structured environment for the kids without a positive,healthy, respectful relationship between Mama and Daddy. and.. listen, 5 & 2 years of age may be a little early for independent conflict resolution.

The short answer is that there is absolutely no way to accurately quantify the extent of influence parenting has on children. There are just too many variables. Genetics, birth order, familial influences outside of parents (siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, etc.), geographic/regional, educational, and peer interactions all play a part. ...

As a child I always found it reassuring to know my parents were mortal and capable of sadness like me. I think something that contributed to my development was when mom and dad would explain what they were crying about when they saw my concern. It also helps children recognize for themselves when something is making them sad, and that is why they are ...

I'm not sure you do have to tell them, at least not now. What seems to be the urgent issue is this job. If you really think you can't stand doing it for a little while (I assume it's temporary?), which may look good on your CV (resumé), then you have to break it to them seriously but gently. I would suggest avoiding the theological issue if possible. These ...

First of all, the old and famous counting to 10 will probably help you control your temper. Or try saying, mommy needs a time out right now we will get back to this in a few minutes and leave the room. These are methods to both help you calm down and teach your son how to deal with upsetness. In terms of his crying, he is 8, he should know or must learn ...

It seems to me that your beliefs on tolerance toward those that are gay were contingent upon the idea that "other people" are gay and "we" ("we" being you and your children) are straight. That contingency, and therefore the true mettle of your belief, has now been called into question. If you truly believe what you say you believe, it shouldn't matter ...

I think you answered your question in your last paragraph -- you need to agree on why you're playing the game in the first place. It seems you weren't aware of your different philosophies until now - okay, there's a first time for everything. Now that you know this, you can handle it: Before you play each next game, agree what the point is. There are two ...

TL;DR Have fun together, but back off sometimes and just watch. And when you're too exhausted, just say so. I think your son is lucky to have a dad that is so engaged. You're certainly not doing a bad job of it! You just need to steal Iron Man's power source and put it in your chest. If that can't be accomplished, then you could try some of these ideas: ...

I don't know about the "frightening the child" aspect - personally I think frightening / shocking a child who tries to do something dangerous, like run into the road (eg by shouting loudly) is quite effective. But I think the thing that all your examples have in common is that the parent is appealing to an external authority (God, ghost, policeman) to be ...

In this answer, I am assuming this pregnancy will be seen as good news by your parents. My sister announced her pregnancy at Christmas Time by simply adding a stocking to the mantel that said "baby (last name)" and then the due date. When we all got up in the morning, there it was hanging there with a few of the baby items they'd already purchased in ...

First of all, try not to jump to conclusions. People make assumptions about each others' sexuality all the time based on the flimsiest of evidence - the text you found could be a joke, or could have been sent to the wrong person, for example. I wouldn't think that confronting her about this is a good idea. If she is gay or bi, she might be feeling very ...

Parents crying in front of children can serve useful purposes and can encourage teaching moments. If a loved one has passed on, or perhaps something tragic has occurred - or even just a struggle from a hard day, crying not only allows the parent the opportunity to let out some difficult emotions that they may be struggling with - but also allows the child ...

If only you could bottle and sell some of that excess energy, you'd be rich! Sometimes you just need to explain to the child that they have to play on their own for a while. They won't like it but after 5 minutes alone they'll usually find something with which to amuse themselves. The hardest part is for you to not feel guilty during those 5 minutes. ...

A very good friend of mine helped my wife and I cope when the strain of a strong-willed toddler. One of his key pieces of advice ... "Parenting is like baseball, you get lots of at bats. Keep swinging. You won't get a hit every time, and you don't have to hit a home run every time to be awesome." You will make mistakes. You will not discipline properly. ...

This is a hard one. First it depends on the age of the children. I sometimes ask my 8 year old what questions I should ask on this site, to see, from her point of view, what I need to work on as a parent (obviously a biased source). I read parenting books and evaluate their advice and then evaluate myself based on that. I have a friend who is a child ...

Let me chime in from the male side :-) My wife and I too have disagreements over various topics of child rearing. One of them actually is bedtime. I am more lenient on this, she is more watching the clock. We had numerous discussions over this, where we both presented our case and tried to understand the other's points. Part of this is cultural (I am ...

Remember that dealing with disappointment is another important life lesson parents need to teach. You don't have to be a martyr to be a good parent. If you want to spend more time with him without exhausting yourself, a few things you can try are: Just be a spectator. Tell him you need to rest for a while, but you will watch him, or at least stay in the ...

"Now what?" There is nothing special about now. Your daughter was gay yesterday, three weeks ago, and years ago. All those moments took their turn being "now". Or so you assume. What you read was another girl's message, which is evidence that the other girl is gay. Concluding that your daughter is also gay is not a valid inference. Bring it up with the ...

You say "I think I need to ensure she is aware of the complexity of such emotions and that making a commitment at this age is just too soon." As far as your daughter's emotions, they're just as complex whether they're about the same sex or the opposite sex. That's a reasonable thing for you to worry about, but it's also inevitable. At 14, she's going to ...

This isn't really a parenting question, but it's close enough and you could use some advice. You are stuck, however the reason is not ideological, but financial. Your main concern seems to be that your family will withdraw financial support, so that's what you need to tackle. Work to become financially independent by getting a job which is not dependent on ...

Do you love your children? Do you give them your time? Do you prioritize on their behalf? Do you provide for them? Do you protect them? Do you teach them right from wrong? Do you model for them the principles that you are teaching? Do you teach them humility? Do you let them fail gently and them help pick them back up? Do you encourage them? Are ...