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22

The thing to worry about most is poor performance at school, only because that has the possibility of really cutting off her options in the future. One question you might ask yourself is why she isn't interested in other things. Rather than complain--which clearly isn't helping--do what you can to start a dialog. What is she getting out of facebook? Do her ...


21

Oh gosh. You want your son to be motivated by rewards, rather by the intrinsic value of something? (Basically, your child has a stronger sense of dignity than he has an interest in whatever rewards you are offering. I'd be thanking my lucky stars.) Besides, What happens when he is an adult? How will he keep his room clean if no one is there to give him ...


18

You recognize already that this is a developmental issue. It takes time, work, and maturity to develop. In addition, I think what you are describing is more than an appreciation issue. It can also be about control. A five-year-old has very little control in her life - she doesn't get to choose how the money is spent, what time she goes to bed, what she ...


15

This can be a common issue in children who are very successful in almost anything: when they are motivated by success, and that success is easy to achieve, they see no reason to work hard to achieve basically the same success. The returns for additional success tend to be diminishing; being a big fish in a small pond can be very comfortable to someone ...


14

@Cara, this is not a problem with him, it's a problem with your parenting style. It sounds like you are trying to control every aspect of his life and smothering him with advice, demands, rewards, and punishments. He is confused and frustrated at not being able to control anything about his life, so he does the one thing that gives him control: he refuses to ...


13

The key here is Don't Read Books You Don't Enjoy. Peter: [reading a review of a boxing match in a hushed, storytelling way] The champ caught Smith with a savage left hook... Michael: What are you reading her? Peter: [responding to Michael in same tone] It doesn't matter what I read, it's the tone you use. She doesn't understand the words ...


11

There's a common saying among highly-successful people, which is to never be the smartest person in the room. You grow by surrounding yourself with people who challenge you to be better. Somewhat counterintuitively, if you want to be truly successful, you need to fail sometimes. If you never fail, you're not pushing your boundaries. You're playing it too ...


10

I think @deworde has the best advice to help motivate you to read stories. However, I wanted to add an answer that mentions options other than reading. Until they are about six months old, babies will rely on tone of voice and sentence patterns to help learn to understand you. The more you interact with them, the better they'll be able to learn how to ...


10

I hear your frustration! I have a 5 year old daughter who is slower than molasses waiting on Christmas. The mornings have turned into a routine for us though. She used to get up and want to watch a show on TV before getting breakfast. We quickly learned that this led to her watching her show and not eating. So we put the rule in place that she couldn't watch ...


10

I think the first step is recognizing that your desires are in conflict with your children's. You are craving some special event time, and they have been craving unstructured time. It's natural and okay to have conflicting desires with your family, just be aware the conflict exists and make a conscious choice about whose needs are going to be paramount at ...


9

First of all, why are you making him take piano? Do you feel he'll gain something from it? Is he naturally good at it, so you want to foster that in him? Are you trying to make him learn it, because that's what you feel society expects? Are you doing it because it's something you enjoy and want to pass that on to him? Additionally, why are you being his ...


9

If you want your child to understand language, you have to talk to your child. A study was done on the differing number of words per hour spoken to a child in low income, middle class, and professional families. The difference was startling. A low income child would hear 600 words per hour. A middle class child 1200. A professional class child 2100. A ...


8

Because you care about mathematical concepts and your daughter learning them, most likely she will learn them. You will point them out and talk about them. "see honey, you had one slice of banana, now, you have more slices of banana." You will be drawn to stories that contain math concepts (yes, they are out there) and games that teach mathematical ...


8

Congratulations! The first thing that comes to my mind is to treat her to something nice that you know she will appreciate. Massages, dinners, whatever it might be. In particular, in the extent that breastfeeding allows, give her as much time off (away from the baby) as you can manage. By definition she will be spending a lot of time with your daughter and ...


8

I have had some success (in an unpaid, friend of the family or parent of the child's friend kind of way) with the following approach: Stop referring to them, even inside your own head as lazy-to-think. While that is one possible explanation for them not answering, or blurting out any old number without working it out first, there are plenty of others: they ...


8

I actually assissted in a math classroom for one of my internships to become a teacher. My lead teacher pretty much handed over the control of her "resource class" (those are generally the kids that have the hardest time with math, hate it, and think they don't need it) What I did with them that worked really well, was to present them with a project that ...


8

Well I certainly identify with this one! My daughters are 3 and 6 and we get a lot of this. Not so much on school mornings but definitely on holiday mornings. It's worse in the winter because there's more coats etc to put on. I'm assuming you're already helping the 2-year-old quite a lot, and only expecting them to do really simple things by/for themselves? ...


7

First of all, keep in mind that many if not most children are not really developmentally ready for formal academics until age 7 or so. I don't know where you're located, but here in the U.S., recent academic standards are set mostly by politicians, and don't always line up very well with early childhood research. It used to be that schools didn't even ...


7

Being a parent, who happens to be a piano teacher, who happens to also teach my 2 daughters piano..... I would find out why he doesn't want to practice. Is there something he'd rather be doing at that time? Have him help you come up with a time that works for him. One of my students practices before breakfast-seems early to me-but, it's what works out ...


7

The main reason she's on Facebook and Tumblr is to interact with her friends. How often do you have people over, or take her to visit her friends? Have you started teaching her to drive? Does she have any extracurricular activities where she gets to see friends? Also, complaining isn't going to improve her grades. Just make her associate you with annoying ...


7

I can speak from experience as someone who has had multiple talents, but is lazy: I do things because I enjoy them. I, for example, rarely did anything with my clarinet for the sake of becoming a better clarinetist. The music we were going to perform? I played it because I enjoyed playing it. I never really practiced for an abstract sense of becoming ...


6

This may seem counterintuitive, but babies and small children will do the best at math if they are told stories and learn to tell stories themselves. O'Neille et al. (below) found that storytelling is an essential precursor for the development of logical thinking. This makes sense when you think about the fact that storytelling is ingrained in centuries of ...


6

The following things motivate my 8-year old boy to practice the piano (Not in any particular order): The love of a song. The possibility to impress on his peers (I guess girls, but he would never admit it). The posibility of me learning a piece, or part of a piece faster or better than him. What I'll do when he gets stuck and demotivated is try to learn ...


6

What kind of practice are you trying? One of the key components of techniques like the Suzuki method is to have one parent sit down with the child during practice sessions. The point is that the child will want to do it if the parent shows some interest in the child's activity. If you just tell then to practice, turn on an egg timer, and then walk away ...


6

Wow! does that sound familiar! As a former Middle school teacher I can tell you I had a least a couple of these kids every year. A specialist I know you don't want to throw meds at it - so please know I'm not including this information for that purpose. ADD and ADHD shows up a little differently in girls and what you describe actually describes what I ...


6

Even if you are speaking their native language children don't understand all of what is being understood, especially if they are very young. Children enjoy the act of listening and looking at the pictures, and being with their parent. Don't worry about the comprehension, that will come in time. Your motivation is simply the enjoyment of reading a story with ...


6

From my personal experience (mother of two college-age boys, former elementary school and pre-school teacher, current librarian) and many, many years of professional reading... Preliminary thoughts Kids develop differently. If you had not had the Harry Potter experience with your older child, you would probably be less worried about your younger child. ...


6

While I personally have a number of issues with Kohn's book, I do agree that "do-this-and-you-get-that" is a poor system, fraught with problems. The stance that we are taking with my son (who is still only two, but its never too early to start expecting participation) is that chores are things that just need to get done, and that we expect him to do those ...


6

Chrys' Answer covers most of the ground I was going to, but one suggestion might be gamification. From what you've said, some children see no value in going beyond basic maths, and while you might be able to convince them that those jobs they plan for require maths (good luck being a householder who can't balance a monthly budget), that's not always valid, ...


5

No bribes! If you reward your kids for an activity then the activity becomes an obstacle, something to be overcome to get what they want. By definition an obstacle is something to be overcome, avoided, etc. My son, also 8, just started piano lessons. He asked for them which helps, but he has to practice every day for 10 minutes. We're not too strict on ...



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