Tag Info

Hot answers tagged

56

This book works differently for people at different stages of their lives. The lesson for young children reading this book, I believe, is about unconditional love. Children need to know and trust that their parents will always be there for them, loving them without question, even if they need them their whole lives. You could say to your young child, "I'm ...


23

I will answer this from the point of view of, once upon a time, the child in this situation. I don't know if any of this applies to your friend's child as I don't know him, but perhaps it will for others in a similar situation if nothing else. I was the 'perfect' student as a child; always the teacher's pet, always the top of the class, always wanting ...


22

You raise them with morals by being good parents and instilling your own values upon them. Morals don't require some form of sanctioned text books.


17

Listen and sympathize with the child. "Oh dear. That doesn't sound good. I bet you felt bad afterwards". Then discuss the situation. Ask why the child thinks the teacher did that, what the child can do in future. This is supportive and encouraging the child to develp their own strategies. You can mention the fact that sometimes people make mistakes. You ...


15

The lesson in The Giving Tree is not from the tree's point of view. It is from the boy's. The reader will more immediately identify with the boy, after all (if a child, in particular) - and so the lesson is to be aware of people giving to you, and be grateful for it, rather than continually demanding. The boy doesn't feel happy, after all, until the end - ...


13

I think the only difference teaching morals as a non-religious parent is that you explain the reason FOR the moral, too. Religious parents may or may not. You don't just do onto your neighbor as you'ld have him do to you. You do it so everybody stays happy and nobody cries. It doesn't have to be just "because Jesus said so" or "it's written in...". ...


12

The short answer is that there is absolutely no way to accurately quantify the extent of influence parenting has on children. There are just too many variables. Genetics, birth order, familial influences outside of parents (siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, etc.), geographic/regional, educational, and peer interactions all play a part. ...


9

I think one of the main benefits of religion is that it gives you an external framework to help determine what is the right course of action that isn't susceptible to your own personal whims and changing desires. This can be attained by other means if you are not religious. I am Catholic but I also tend to go by a coda loosely based on deontology and ...


9

I would address the accuracy of the name calling first. Was he shushing the noisy people, or announcing loudly that they should shush in order to get a teacher's attention? What was his true motivation? If it was simply to tell them what is right, I would say something like "the teacher was mistaken (it happens) and thought you were trying to get them in ...


9

First, my recommendation would be the toy goes away. Just because it was paid for doesn't mean it isn't stealing; she stole from you instead of the store. Keeping the toy implies that the offense wasn't all THAT severe. The problem with punishment here is that the time frame between the offense and the punishment might be kind of long for it to really ...


7

It sounds like you are having difficulty because you were raised in a religion that used scripture to support moral learning, and now having turned away from religion—but not necessarily your values—you feel you need an equivalent in order to teach your children appropriate behavior. It may help you to think of religion in a more secular form: religion ...


7

This is something Alice (who is quite a bit younger), as well as a number of students (who were also, mostly middle school students) I have had have struggled with. Let me preface this by saying, I know Beofett is asking with a friend in mind, I am going to write this as if I am speaking directly to the parent just for the sake of simplicity. Kids do ...


6

Kids are very good at putting their own spin on the situation and I feel there are a few things that seem out of place... One of the things children need to learn is when it is appropriate to help and what help is appropriate. As someone who deals with a large group of children regularly myself I can tell you the noise of one or more children trying to 'be ...


6

The Giving Tree, like any creative fiction, is open to interpretation. That's the beauty of it. People have interpreted it as you did, and even as satire--not a children's book at all. Some think the tree is God. You see what I mean? It sounds like your son enjoys it, but you're looking for someone to refute your own adult interpretation of it. The problem ...


5

In my mind, it's not really about religion or beliefs; it's about values and you surely have values regardless of what you (not) believe in. I am not religious and I don't use a book or a spokesperson to tell me what is right and wrong, and why. I have a "gut feeling," an inner sense that directs me. Most of this is totally obvious and straightforward to ...


5

I think the first step is to find out why they made the decision to cheat. This isn't to justify the decision, but rather better understand what drove them to this (e.g. laziness, desperation, peer pressure, etc.) so that you can tailor your response. I feel that an older sibling shares a (small) portion of the parental responsibility: they have the ...


5

Much of what the Dalai Lama has written provides wonderful guidelines for living and for being a human being, without tying into any particular religion (even his own). His new book Beyond Religion: Ethics for a Whole World proposes a secular ethics which aims to go beyond religion (or be independent of it). I also found his The Art of Happiness very ...


5

Use the world as your classroom. Model the behaviour you want your children to emulate. When you see someone who needs help, and the kids are with you, help the person and then explain to your kids what you saw and why you decided to help. When you see a situation where intervening might be more negative than not stepping in, explain that to your kids. ...


5

I think this book describes the relationship between mother nature and humans, and quite accurately too. We use the earth in exactly that way. We mine oil, harvest lumber, drive cars, just use, use, use, often without giving the source a second thought. And the earth simply allows us to take. I do not think it models human-human relationships at all, and ...


3

Start with the golden rule and take it from there. Pretty much everything comes down to explaining the effects of the childs actions on others, or dealing with the emotional effects of others actions on the child. Essentially you are finding it hard to do this without reference to religious text as it normally takes the form of "do X or suffer the ...


3

I think non-religious households teach morals in much more understandable way than religious households. Religion says - you do x because god/scripture/prophet/whoever says you must, and if you don't you will be punished after death. Some of the rules may actually be unethical or immoral by other religions - which can cause problems. Lack of religion ...


3

I read this book when it came out The NURTURE ASSUMPTION: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do It makes the case that the environmental contribution to personality is mostly from peers, not parents (except in pathologically bad cases like abuse). One simple example is accent -- children tend to have the accents of their peers, not their parents. You'd ...


3

I agree with the sentiment of @monsto's answer, although saying parents contribute 100% to a child's outcome is an exaggeration. Answering a question like "why was child A successful and child B unsuccessul, despite having the same parents?" is very difficult and context-specific. There are so many factors at play. Parenting style definitely has a huge ...


3

Answering the topic question: How much of an effect does parenting style have on a child? My answer: 100%. That is to say that 100% of parenting style has an effect, not that parenting style determines 100% of personality. Answering the question at the end of the text: Is there any evidence that the parenting makes a big difference on who the child ...


3

If one's younger sibling asks you to cheat, then your responsibility as an older sibling is to tell them no, and explain why cheating is wrong. If the older sibling is aiding the younger sibling in cheating, then the older is responsible for aiding the younger in avoiding consequences for not studying in classes. The older sibling's role would end when ...


3

Taking the whole account with a grain of salt, that is, assuming what you have related to be generally accurate, I have an opinion which is only that, an opinion from experience raising wonderfully successful children. here are the relevant factors: A child's responsibility while in school is to learn what he's taught and to interact with others according ...


3

First, I will answer you direct question: No, there is no upside to talking to young children about racial or ethnic groups. Now, why do I say such a thing? Because I believe the question is flawed by its very nature. Let me elaborate. I have blue yes. You have brown. Should I talk to a young child about differences in eye color? I have red hair. You ...


2

The older sibling is not responsible for the younger siblings decision to cheat. Lets say the younger had asked some one else - absolutely not the older child's fault. However, the older sibling is responsible for "aiding" in cheating if he/she decides to go ahead and help. Assuming the elder just wanted to help the younger and went ahead and gave the ...


2

This is a problem that I've faced as well. While it is simple enough to say that if you yourself encourage good morals, your kids will model good morals, it is also important to have the support of a community behind you. If nothing else, you will be competing against communities when your children are older. My wife and I decided to join the local ...


2

There are a few things going on here, and a lot of it has to do with rules and intention. If no one was being hurt by the activities of the other children, then the idea that he will learn to "pretend not to notice when he sees someone who needs help" simply by being called a tattletale is absurd. Further, if the teacher is right there, giving ...



Only top voted, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible