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13

Assuming that you are not spending beyond your means, I'd be inclined to bluntly explain how you can afford the things you do (e.g. putting away a little each paycheck to save up for big purchases, budgeting your income with certain portions earmarked for the types of purchases she comments on, simply making enough above your regular expenses to be able to ...


12

It is never too late to teach your kid where money comes from and what it is worth. Since he is a student, his opportunities to earn will be somewhat restricted. Here is what I would do I would tell him that I don't want to have to evaluate individual requests like "Can I have a car?" or "Can I have $100 to go out for the evening?" Instead I want to ...


9

At 19, don't be too sure the mindset he presents to you regarding material entitlement is one he actually believes in. He may simply being trying to manipulate you into giving him what he wants. It sounds like he pushes for these things because it works (at least sometimes). Even if you haven't ever given in to his requests for money, fancy clothes, or ...


9

Your mother-in-law is crossing boundaries. The best way to establish boundaries is to answer with few words (your script) and try not to veer from them. Try a genuine "Thanks for the input, Mom" or "Thanks for worrying about us" or just a "Hmmmm." This acknowledges that she is trying to be helpful without defending your position or assigning any value to her ...


9

When we were newlyweds, my wife also had trouble spending savings. Her parents had drummed into her over and over the importance of saving, but never taught her when it was okay to spend or not. I think that's because they are somewhat impulsive spenders themselves, and feel guilty themselves, so they project that onto their children. What we did was ...


8

Whether it causes resentment or not depends on how much say the child has in the matter. Kids often borrow their older sibling's clothing on their own. A lot of handing down happens even without parental intervention, as one child starts to grow out of something, they are more and more willing to lend it to their younger sibling, until it ends up de facto ...


8

"I'm so sorry to have to ask this, but we don't have enough money to live on. Can you help us out financially?" If this is embarrassing, chalk it up as the price to be paid for not having raised the kids to be able to talk about finances in a straightforward manner. Just as with sex, finances are a topic that you MUST educate your kids about as they are ...


7

I am a parent who employs a nanny for child caregiving purposes. I believe we pay our nanny a fair market wage, but if she wanted a raise I would want her to ask for a time to sit down with my husband and I (her joint employers) in person other than a time she was scheduled to work. I would want her to have a reasoned explanation why she deserved a raise. ...


4

I know my answer is tardy but I'm going to set this out here anyway. We have a mother in law who always makes uncomfortable comments about things we've purchased, And then . . . These comments especially seem to upset my wife, who has guilt issues, who had to deal with this growing up and never wants to spend money on anything. So... based on ...


4

First and foremost, your parents are the only parents you have, and they will always be your parents. It can be easy at times to forget this, particularly while you are angry at them, but underneath it all, they're your family, and you (almost certainly) love them. Being angry/disappointed/frustrated with someone is not mutually exclusive with loving them. ...


3

19 years old ! This "kid" really needs a reality check. Some suggestions - Try to find out why he needs more. To impress girls, to fit in with the rich crowd etc. ? If those are the reasons behind his behavior, then explain why he should not spend money on those things. Tell him to get a job as short-term experiment and see how money does not literally ...


2

Let me guess: whenever you try to talk sense, the conversation QUICKLY winds up elsewhere... either about his 'friends', or it degenerates into arguing about nothing, or any number of things, but it winds up ending on a subject other than what you started on. If this is the case, then it is willful ignorance on his part. In other words, some part of him ...


2

I was the middle one of five kids - and I loved getting hand me downs from my elder brother. (Not so much from my elder sister...) With my group of friends, my eldest is the eldest of all the kids so he almost never gets hand me downs or cast offs, whereas the others get items from siblings, friends etc - and the good quality clothes might go round 3 or 4 ...


2

The first thing to do is to take a deep breath. This is a situation with a lot of emotional ties pulling your girlfriend in many different directions. There are a lot of relationships involved so at some point, so tread lightly. That said... Consider where you want you, your girlfriend and her daughter to be in two year's time. That's your short term ...


1

Can she find another woman in the same situations who she TRUSTS? Through some church group maybe? One of them can watch the kids, one can work and pay her half? Two kids are really easier to take care of at that age than only one, they keep each other entertained. Or they can both get part-time jobs and watch the others kids when they're not working?


1

In our house the adults also had hand me downs. For example, our bed belonged to another family member who was getting a smaller one. The trampoline the kids played on belonged to their cousins first. The dressers in our room are the ones one of us used as a child. In that context, it seems perfectly normal for a child to be using something that someone ...



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