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49

What you should not do is to simply talk badly about a favourite story of his. What you could do instead is put the story into perspective - and don't do this with this fairy tale alone, but with as many as possible. If you do this as an "early start to literary studies" you might actually do him a favour. Topics to cover could be: Core message or ...


24

Is there any possible harm, if I tell my kid now about the hidden meaning of Cinderella? To a certain extent the "hidden meaning" you describe is a somewhat dystopian outlook on relationships. In general, it's considered unnecessary that a 10-year-old know the "cold hard truth" about everything. I don't think most people make decisions in their adult ...


15

Here is another option: use a 'run bike' to help your child learn balance. This makes it easier to know when they are ready. A run bike (aka 'balance bike') is essentially a bicycle with no pedals. There is a good New York Times article about balance bikes. Unlike a tricycle, a balance bike teaches balance, which is really the limiting factor for children ...


12

My opinion is to wait for the child to ask for it. Fear of pain shouldn't be a motivation to decide it for them. Yes, it hurts a little but you can explain that to them. In the end they have to make the decision. This subject touches on the human right to bodily integrity. I don't want to sound "heavy" and I understand that an earring is relatively harmless ...


11

There potentially could be harmful outcomes of going into detail that is ahead of a ten-year-old's comprehension/experience/understanding: At that age, children are still children, and despite the media trying to persuade us otherwise, the world is a very safe place for the majority of people, and relationships, while rarely perfect are generally positive. ...


11

Your kid doesn't understand the difference between this and any other toy because he's sane. It is a toy and almost completely incapable of hurting anyone. He probably has a dozen things in his backpack more dangerous than this toy. It is the adults in the situation that are screwed up, not the kid. He's not supposed to bring toys to school, so his ...


10

Personally, the best I've seen is to ask question. This process can also be done after the kid see a t.v. show or a movie. Even after playing in the playground. What did you think about this person? Do you think that person was mean when they did this? Why do you think they did that? What would you do if it happen to you? It also makes it more engaging ...


10

I don't know your son, but I think if you started in on this kind of analysis of a fairy tale with him, within about 30 seconds he'd be saying, "Dad, can I go watch TV now?" I had plenty of times with my kids when we'd watch a cartoon or read a book and I'd make some comment about implications or interpretation that resemble the sort of things you say here. ...


8

My opinion is to wait until the child itself expresses a desire for this. I'm surprised to see infants with piercings because I feel that the parents make a cosmetic choice that does nothing for the child, but you propose a reason why they might do that (too young to fear the pain) that is new to me. Whether that is valid is for each parent to decide. I ...


8

Turn the roles around: let the child lead you through the train system. You can intervene if needed, otherwise just enjoy the ride. After a few of these, are you convinced? If yes, fine. If no, repeat. :-) Test periodically to make sure no bad habits are sneaking in.


8

I think this is something that is done gradually. Thinking back to when I was a kid (my daughter is still too young for public transit), my dad used to take me with him ever weekend into town on the underground. He taught me how to read the maps, and understand changing trains. At some point he started letting me plan the route to our destination and say ...


8

Unless your child took the gun to school in order to threaten someone with it, or has thought about or talked about hurting someone with a real gun, I don't see why this isn't 'just about bringing a toy to school.' You might be scared, reasonably or unreasonably depending on the school and the circumstances, about someone such as a police officer mistakenly ...


6

Punishment I agree with the school that he has had enough punishment and it should be time to move on at least in regard to punishing consequences - If he describes his experience with this at the school as an "ordeal" then, the interviews with the police, psychologist etc. were dramatic and disturbing to him and he has definitely got the message that ...


6

1) the other kid. Talk to your son. Make sure you listen to what he says, and acknowledge it. His feelings of hurt ad anger and confusion are real. The aim here is to allow tour son to come to the realisation that he doesn't want to spend time with this other boy because the other boy causes upset. 2) removing an iPad for 25 minutes is just as effective ...


6

My theory is, when a kid needs it, they will get one. What does needing a cell phone entail? They must be in some kind of a situation that requires it. This can include driving, frequent after school activities, school projects, etc. But if they pretty much just go to school and family activities, then there isn't as much of a need.


6

First of all, you must check your country's laws. In Poland it's illegal to leave children without supervision when they're under 7 years old (there are several exceptions though). You should allow your kids to go out alone as soon as possible, but not sooner than they're ready:) And if and only if you are ready for that. I think it is important for the ...


6

I doubt there is any definitive literature out there on this, so answers will be somewhat subjective. I think the maturity of the child is the primary factor in this kind of decision. Barring laws against it and extreme weather of any kind: Within reach (as in, you prop open the door and sit within a few feet while they finish a nap or pretend to drive the ...


5

Our own thoughts regarding this: when our son is old enough to go to and from school on his own, at which point we'd want him to have one. We've tentatively put this at 12 (but we've reserved the right to push that out further :). He is 8 at the moment and has been asking for a cellphone for about a year.


5

Well, that really depends on your parenting philosophy. You may decide that as a parent, it is your duty to shield her from all the bad happening out there in the world for as long as possible. You may also decide that you can't protect your daughter forever, and that instead it is your role to guide her while she explores whatever she encounters in her ...


4

In my opinion (and I work in a school) bullying is the 'go to' word today. Any thing and Every thing is considered bullying. Disciplining your child and correcting the behavior is not bullying. How to discipline appropriately is probably a separate question.


4

You could also treat this as a chance to understand literature. Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast are medieval mutations of the ancient legend of Psyche and Cupid, in which the heroine (Psyche) has a much more active role. Cinderella's conflict with her step mother was a medieval update of Psyche's struggle against the jealous Venus to win the hand of ...


3

We did not pierce our baby girl's ears. Human rights debates aside, there are some hygiene issues that I think deserve consideration. I was allergic to nickel. Still am to an extent. But when I got my ears pierced at the age of 7, it was because I really wanted them to be pierced. That's why I was willing to put up with itching, weeping, swollen, hot, ...


3

Ideally, when they are old enough to raise enough money, on their own, for buying the phone and paying of the monthly plans. This will change with the child's lifestyle and community though. A cellphone is a useful way to keep track of where your kids are, and is incredibly useful in emergencies. If you're living in a highly urban area and your children ...


3

Our 19 year old daughter's ears were pierced when she was an infant, and Grandma gave her a nice pair of earrings. Then there were pictures taken with my wife, her mother, her grandmother, and her daughter all similarly dressed with the similar earrings. I guess I am a human rights violator. I will book flights to the Hague for my wife and I. Beyond ...


3

"How old" can't be said in a numerical answer, but rather in terms of maturity. Above all though, if there's no real need for a phone, the child shouldn't have one. Parents must decide case-by-case, depending on how they thnk the kids will use the newfangled technology. Is the child mature enough to use it in time of need, and not just to gossip with ...


3

I really wanted my ears pierced, but my parents said I had to wait until I was 10 years old. Their reasoning was that I had to be sure I wanted it done and mature enough to keep them clean. On my tenth birthday my parents took me to the salon and I got my hair and nails done and then went to get my ears pierced. They made a big deal about how grown up I ...


3

Children need fairy tales. They need simple moral instructions that convey the advantages of moral behavior in ways that are meaningful to them. They deal with universal problems that preoccupy children's minds, and for this reason are interesting to them (and adults as well). Fairy tales teach that if one does not shy away from, but instead meets ...


2

I agree with Remko that piercing an infant's ears violates their right to their own body since they cannot consent. And I would discourage others from making any sort of body modification to their child without his or her consent unless there is a medical necessity. My own opinion is that a child should not be permitted to modify his or her own body until ...



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