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55

What you should not do is to simply talk badly about a favourite story of his. What you could do instead is put the story into perspective - and don't do this with this fairy tale alone, but with as many as possible. If you do this as an "early start to literary studies" you might actually do him a favour. Topics to cover could be: Core message or ...


25

Is there any possible harm, if I tell my kid now about the hidden meaning of Cinderella? To a certain extent the "hidden meaning" you describe is a somewhat dystopian outlook on relationships. In general, it's considered unnecessary that a 10-year-old know the "cold hard truth" about everything. I don't think most people make decisions in their adult ...


20

Your kid doesn't understand the difference between this and any other toy because he's sane. It is a toy and almost completely incapable of hurting anyone. He probably has a dozen things in his backpack more dangerous than this toy. It is the adults in the situation that are screwed up, not the kid. He's not supposed to bring toys to school, so his ...


15

Here is another option: use a 'run bike' to help your child learn balance. This makes it easier to know when they are ready. A run bike (aka 'balance bike') is essentially a bicycle with no pedals. There is a good New York Times article about balance bikes. Unlike a tricycle, a balance bike teaches balance, which is really the limiting factor for children ...


12

There potentially could be harmful outcomes of going into detail that is ahead of a ten-year-old's comprehension/experience/understanding: At that age, children are still children, and despite the media trying to persuade us otherwise, the world is a very safe place for the majority of people, and relationships, while rarely perfect are generally positive. ...


12

Unless your child took the gun to school in order to threaten someone with it, or has thought about or talked about hurting someone with a real gun, I don't see why this isn't 'just about bringing a toy to school.' You might be scared, reasonably or unreasonably depending on the school and the circumstances, about someone such as a police officer mistakenly ...


11

I don't know your son, but I think if you started in on this kind of analysis of a fairy tale with him, within about 30 seconds he'd be saying, "Dad, can I go watch TV now?" I had plenty of times with my kids when we'd watch a cartoon or read a book and I'd make some comment about implications or interpretation that resemble the sort of things you say here. ...


10

Personally, the best I've seen is to ask question. This process can also be done after the kid see a t.v. show or a movie. Even after playing in the playground. What did you think about this person? Do you think that person was mean when they did this? Why do you think they did that? What would you do if it happen to you? It also makes it more engaging ...


8

Turn the roles around: let the child lead you through the train system. You can intervene if needed, otherwise just enjoy the ride. After a few of these, are you convinced? If yes, fine. If no, repeat. :-) Test periodically to make sure no bad habits are sneaking in.


8

I think this is something that is done gradually. Thinking back to when I was a kid (my daughter is still too young for public transit), my dad used to take me with him ever weekend into town on the underground. He taught me how to read the maps, and understand changing trains. At some point he started letting me plan the route to our destination and say ...


8

1) The other kid. Talk to your son. Make sure you listen to what he says and acknowledge it. His feelings of hurt, anger, and confusion are real. The aim here is to allow your son to come to the realization that he doesn't want to spend time with this other boy because the other boy causes upset. 2) Removing an iPad for 25 minutes is just as effective ...


6

I doubt there is any definitive literature out there on this, so answers will be somewhat subjective. I think the maturity of the child is the primary factor in this kind of decision. Barring laws against it and extreme weather of any kind: Within reach (as in, you prop open the door and sit within a few feet while they finish a nap or pretend to drive the ...


6

My theory is, when a kid needs it, they will get one. What does needing a cell phone entail? They must be in some kind of a situation that requires it. This can include driving, frequent after school activities, school projects, etc. But if they pretty much just go to school and family activities, then there isn't as much of a need.


6

Punishment I agree with the school that he has had enough punishment and it should be time to move on at least in regard to punishing consequences - If he describes his experience with this at the school as an "ordeal" then, the interviews with the police, psychologist etc. were dramatic and disturbing to him and he has definitely got the message that ...


6

First of all, you must check your country's laws. In Poland it's illegal to leave children without supervision when they're under 7 years old (there are several exceptions though). You should allow your kids to go out alone as soon as possible, but not sooner than they're ready:) And if and only if you are ready for that. I think it is important for the ...


5

Well, that really depends on your parenting philosophy. You may decide that as a parent, it is your duty to shield her from all the bad happening out there in the world for as long as possible. You may also decide that you can't protect your daughter forever, and that instead it is your role to guide her while she explores whatever she encounters in her ...


5

Our own thoughts regarding this: when our son is old enough to go to and from school on his own, at which point we'd want him to have one. We've tentatively put this at 12 (but we've reserved the right to push that out further :). He is 8 at the moment and has been asking for a cellphone for about a year.


5

This actually depends entirely on your culture, and your child. In many cultures, kids are kept very segregated from the deceased. In others, they may be a core part of the family group at an open casket wake. And in others, they may help care for the body as it lies in rest prior to being buried etc. I have taken my kids to funerals of their ...


4

In my opinion (and I work in a school) bullying is the 'go to' word today. Any thing and Every thing is considered bullying. Disciplining your child and correcting the behavior is not bullying. How to discipline appropriately is probably a separate question.


4

You could also treat this as a chance to understand literature. Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast are medieval mutations of the ancient legend of Psyche and Cupid, in which the heroine (Psyche) has a much more active role. Cinderella's conflict with her step mother was a medieval update of Psyche's struggle against the jealous Venus to win the hand of ...


4

For a funeral, basically the same rules as for other social events apply. So answer the following questions and decide accordingly: Can the child do what is expected of him? Would the child be able to behave in a way that would be considered appropriate or would the situation demand some action (or non-action) from the child that would be too much, e.g. ...


3

Children need fairy tales. They need simple moral instructions that convey the advantages of moral behavior in ways that are meaningful to them. They deal with universal problems that preoccupy children's minds, and for this reason are interesting to them (and adults as well). Fairy tales teach that if one does not shy away from, but instead meets ...


3

Ideally, when they are old enough to raise enough money, on their own, for buying the phone and paying of the monthly plans. This will change with the child's lifestyle and community though. A cellphone is a useful way to keep track of where your kids are, and is incredibly useful in emergencies. If you're living in a highly urban area and your children ...


3

"How old" can't be said in a numerical answer, but rather in terms of maturity. Above all though, if there's no real need for a phone, the child shouldn't have one. Parents must decide case-by-case, depending on how they thnk the kids will use the newfangled technology. Is the child mature enough to use it in time of need, and not just to gossip with ...


2

In the UK the laws don't really specify, but there is a great deal of emphasis on the child's capability. For example, we let our 10 and 12 year old cycle to the shop by themselves (about a mile away) but we wouldn't leave them alone in a car for that length of time or at that distance - the risk profile is different. When they were babies, if they fell ...


2

This can be interpreted as a form of: "The Garden of Eden - Tree of Knowledge of Good & Evil" In addition to the answer provided by @Little Ms Whoops, I'd like to contribute some points to think about, perhaps helping you to form your own reason. There are definitely different views on this subject. It's your freedom to decide, and the different ...


1

I'm not sure which Cinderella story you're referring to. In most of the common versions of the story the stepmother only started treating Cinderella badly after her father died. I think you're seriously overthinking this. Don't bother mentioning anything about it. Your son will not use this story as a model for his life. Having said that, there are ...



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