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14

When you play with him at home, say to him, I can play with you for 10 minutes, but then I have to run to put dinner in the oven and will be right back. At the end of 10 minutes, say I am going to put dinner in the oven and then I will be right back, how about you make superman fly over the tower of blocks (or whatever you are playing) while I am gone and ...


14

Where I am from it is really considered taboo. Where my wife is from, on the other hand, it's completely normal and quite logical. I think the key is to understand why (on a case by case basis) the adult-child does not want to move out. It is perfectly normal for people to have room mates in almost any culture, and perhaps his preferred room mates are his ...


11

I'm approaching this from the "what could possibly go wrong?" side of the matter, as I think a child getting into trouble on the way to school is unlikely. Traffic safety. A nine-year-old should already know how to cross a street safely. You can practice it with them and watch how they do it, both on foot and by bike. Getting lost. Once again, a ...


11

To teach children how to call for help appropriately, the first thing I would do is share with them the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" (which you have already mentioned). But you want to encourage, not discourage, your child to ask for assistance. Getting my kids ready to stay home alone has meant practicing what needs to be done in an emergency or if ...


9

Ah, the arrogance of youth. I remember going through a similar phase. My parents seemed like idiots when I was in high school. They just didn't get it. But as I got older, they got smarter. I have some thoughts ... Parents need to be clear about the difference between being a parent and being a friend. When the choice must be made, choose parent. ...


9

As Erin's answer mentioned, there are different types of learners, with different strengths. It was focused on the book-based learning - I will try to give a broader perspective. Hope you will find some useful bits in it :-) There are different types of intelligence, according to Howard Gardner. And traditional schools only focus on visual and verbal ...


8

The next time he does that, remove him from the situation (eg leave the classroom and go into the hall; leave the hall and go outside; whatever.) As a parent, nobody will challenge you doing this; just say "Excuse us for a moment," and to the child say "Come out here with me for a moment." When you get out of earshot of everyone, stay calm and say: That ...


7

Your rules are not too difficult for a 7-year-old to remember and follow on her own. When I was that age, I was allowed to go visit my friend who lived down the road, but my mom's rules were explicit. You have permission to go to X person's house. You are NOT to be anywhere else and you are to be home by X time. If I find out otherwise, you are in ...


7

First off check that it is possible, I know some airplanes have rules about minimum ages for unaccompanied minors, so you may want to check. Also, don't assume you can take them to and pick them up from the gate - I know some airports do not issue gate passes any more. Check with the airports. If you can't you may have to purchase an unaccompanied minor ...


5

It's understandable that the situation frustrates you, especially when it's rubbed in by external events like the dance/bowling events you mention. One thought I have about this is that in many situations, you really are in the father role, so it should not matter if you're the actual father or not: In the case of those school events, there's no direct ...


5

Playing on his own a bit can increase his independence (or perhaps his desire to do so signals he's already pretty independent?) -- either way it's not a bad thing. It sounds like he's getting plenty of social interaction :) As for "how much" solo play is good and how much is too much, it depends entirely on the personality of the child. As long as he's ...


5

Experiment. Every child is different in this regard. Some kids need their hands held when they are young (though they should grow out of it as they get older, unless there's a problem afoot). As a child, I actually performed worse when I had homework "help" -- intellectual boredom from work that was far too easy for me plus motor and RSI issues that ...


5

This can vary widely by region: Some cities are downright murderous and can only be traversed by car, others are very safe. Here are the factors that I can think of, in no particular order: How long is the trip? (three minutes at a child's pace, or twenty minutes by car) What are the roads like? (bike lanes > pavement > dirt road) How much traffic is ...


5

It's very dependant on culture, I would imagine. Though there is a point where you cross over from boy living with mother to mother living with son. I would say, as a mess of vaguely Western culture that I am, that once they're at the age when they have a proper job, they should want their independence and start the process of moving out. Where I live, ...


4

The only real factor, besides your own potential anxiety, is whether you believe he can take care of himself - including handling problems that may come up. To help decide, I would suggest quizzing him on possible scenarios. Maybe use some role play. For instance - You've taken a wrong turn and don't recognize the street, what do you do? (Approach a ...


4

Beyond finding out if it is legally an option to leave your child alone (regardless of the time span) I think there are a few things that need to be considered before leaving a child alone regardless of the age that happens. Do you live in a relatively safe location and is there a nearby neighbor that your child can turn to for assistance in case of an ...


3

Seems to me that it mostly should be up to your daughter to follow these rules on her own, if she can. Unless one of the other parents is explicitly tasked with watching the group (as opposed to all of you watching sporadically from indoors), it doesn't sound like you're really "passing the baton" so to speak. Keeping in view of your house is certainly ...


3

I have tried the simple direction "go play on your own" combined with praise when my son is found to be playing on his own. The results are mixed and the effort is ongoing. This article inspired me to work on my son's independence and might help you too. The title may not charm you but there are some interesting points made. Why French Parents Are Superior


3

It's very context and child dependent. My son is much more outgoing and focused than my daughter, so she's more likely to need some time to figure out what she's doing after graduation. If my kids finish college and I can see that they have a plan going forward for their life, then I'll be more lenient about letting them stay home. If it looks like they ...


3

Lucky you! Any child who learns to play on their own is exhibiting a secure attachment to their parent, and he is probably using you as a secure base, which means he'll explore or play on his own and every so often glance at you to make sure you're still there and approving of his activities. I don't know of any hard and fast rules about amounts of time, ...


3

Here's a good research based article on the importance of supervised play: http://www.parentingscience.com/preschool-social-skills.html In short, kids play better when parents model different social skills. Too much time with peers can actually undermine behavior. But 8 months is really young. My understanding of the research is that until about age 3, ...


3

Firstly: politely requesting help and a oiding misunderstanding with other parents. Your request is totally reasonable, but sometimes people are hyperaware where children are concerned. One approach is to tell the other parents how happy you are that the children are friends. Then say that you're trying to get your child to follow some rules which are X, ...


3

Let me see if I understand this. You're the 16 year old's big brother (didn't say how old). Mum didn't set boundaries with her, so she was doing poorly at school, but you didn't really say if she had difficulty with good relationships with guys, or mention of drugs, illegal activity or other. She's moving in with you and your partner, but you're worried ...


3

I think your children may be too young to fly unaccompanied so it is best to check that first. I flew several times unaccompanied as a child, but generally before security restrictions prevented people going to the gate. My experience as a younger child was that I was always escorted (walked, driven on a cart, or a series of carts / cars if changing ...


2

Apart from the obvious issue of a child's responsibility level, distance and location would be important factors for me. I walked from school from around 9 years old or so, but it was only 0.5Km, in a quiet village with good pavements (sidewalks). Riding a bike would personally make me very nervous as the chance of more serious accidents is much higher, ...


2

My brother and I are a good example case. I went right to college and got married (so I moved myself out of the house). Otherwise, I would have gotten a job and been expected to find my own place to live. My brother was having more trouble academically, so he is living with my parents while he goes to community college, and is taking things slower. He is ...


2

Benefit: Teaching or letting a child play on its own seems absolutely fine to me, certainly nothing to try to avoid. As you say, it teaches independence and also creativity. Risks: As long as the child doesn't turn into a hermit who always wants to be alone, I'm sure it's beneficial. Since you also engage in play with him and he enjoys that, I don't see a ...


2

Perhaps focusing on how you and your child communicate in closer proximity is a good place to begin practicing this skill. When in sight of your child, do not respond to crying but instead move into his line of sight. Then coach him with questions, or modeling the words you feel he should be saying quietly, until he says them himself. Then respond promptly ...


2

Based on what you're describing, it sounds very similar to issues I have had with my children. In particular, I have had this issue with my 3yo who is the middle child out of 5. The crying and lack of communication sometimes persists, but we have systematically improved the situation. I think the key thing is for you to introduce structure. It sounds like ...


2

Our daughters are 7 and 5,5. Both have already been left home alone a couple of times for ~10 minutes at most, and survived :-) We usually make sure they are engaged in watching some cartoon DVD or drawing, to minimize risks. (The risk we are most aware of is finding a complete mess of a household upon getting home ;-) Sounds like your daughter could start ...



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