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1

In a nutshell, she appears revulsed at not being revulsed. This is not really as much about her sexual identity (at 11, her hormonal balance is not established to a degree that would make attaching labels anything but ridiculous) as about defining her personal acceptance levels in a way compatible with that of others and with social expectations. Many ...


-2

If she's 11 then its unlikely she's gone through puberty yet and if she has then she'll be ahead of most of her peers (with whom she probably discusses such matters). What 11 year old boy or girl doesn't go through such a phase of uncertainty and come through it OK as puberty passes and hormones eventually settle? Its perfectly normal IMHO. ...


12

This is not a sexual orientation issue. It is an anxiety problem that happens to have sexual orientation as its focus. The issue here is that she is having intense anxiety about this idea, and it is interrupting her ability to cope with life. While reassurance often works as a first line treatment, it can also make things worse. If she's having to be ...


2

She is obviously confused. You could ask her why feelings of revulsion for boys and girls, makes her afraid of being gay, but not afraid of being straight? It sounds like she thinks feelings of revulsion are what she might feel if she finds out she is a lesbian. But of course it doesn't work like that. Also one can develop sexual feelings and still ...


7

Before anyone misinterprets what I say here, I have no desire to dismiss or diminish issues of sexual orientation. This is just a possibility. The validity of her orientation is not in question; her suffering is. Your daughter is suffering, regardless of her true/ultimate sexual orientation. If she is having thoughts that cause her such dismay, there may be ...


3

Two important messages: 1) She's thinking about it because she's thinking about it. It's like trying not to think of an elephant. If she just stops worrying about it her mind will move to something else. 2) But I agree that if it really "makes her sick", the thing to do is to help her deal with her feelings, not with the thoughts. If it just isn't ...


17

Ask her why she is afraid of turning out to be lesbian, and address that.


4

Tell her, if she doesn't want to be, then she's not. This is the most validating thing you can tell her. Keep telling her that. And keep telling her. "well what about how I feel thinking about girls kissing?" "Don't worry about it. If you don't want that, that's not you" doing anything else is pressuring her to diverge from what she personally ...


4

My daughter is 11 and confused. That sounds like a normal combination. She will be a rather different person when she graduates high school. Just be supportive but clear that absolutely nothing she does at 11 will matter all that much later in life. Except failing math - that will be a problem. FYI, my almost-daughter dated girls when she was 15. ...


29

Simple answer - these feelings are normal and not necessarily an indication of her sexuality, just a child's confusion and anxiety over physical intimacy. There is nothing to be concerned about, nothing special you or your daughter needs to do. Just let time reveal her sexuality. When it happens, she'll know it and if she believes that there's nothing ...



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