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8

It's a difficult problem because you can lead a horse to water, but can't make him drink. Every child is different, but we've found the following to help our son: Give him what he wants, but put conditions on it. We have a quiet, distraction-free area upstairs for our son to do school work, but he really hates being alone. We let him stay downstairs ...


7

This may sound odd, but have you tried helping him less? When I was a kid, I had a very similar reaction to piano lessons. I would have trouble learning something, I would get frustrated, and my parents would come over and try to help me. Somehow, though, feeling like I was too incompetent to do it myself just made me more frustrated, which made me resist ...


5

What kind of homework is it? Any kind of homework, or is it math? What you wrote reminded me of this blog: http://mathwithbaddrawings.com/2013/04/25/were-all-bad-at-math-1-i-feel-stupid-too/ - the frustration, the procrastination, the excuses, the avoidance... though this doesn't have to be restricted to math, math is just a very typical example. Changing ...


5

Gamify it! Work with your son to determine levels and rewards. Since he gets stuck on the more difficult problems, maybe you could tie them to "stuck it out and solved four problems for level one, six for level two,..." etc. Having him help you determine the levels and rewards will give him a lot more buy-in on the process and hopefully will give him ...


5

Hence in effect the homework is more for the parents, who are supposed to do the schools job and teach their child to write letters. That's not that far off base. For young kids, homework is very much about parent/child interaction. What would be the consequences if we just ignored (part of) her homework regularly? That's a question for you to ...


4

If the homework is being assigned at the start of school, it may be that the assignments are more intended as assessments, rather than actual lessons at this point. Particularly at age 4, it seems unreasonable to expect every child to be able to properly form letters and identify words starting with that letter without a significant amount of ...


4

I disagree with removing hockey. Why? I remember being in the exact same situation and how it affected me as a person. When I was that age, I had one thing: music. It was my passion. At 13 I was writing Manilow-like music (it was 1978) on our horrible piano and I was playing trumpet and french horn at school. Meantime, my grades in Civics, Math, etc, ...


4

I'm assuming in this answer that she is in a state primary school rather than a private school. The purpose of the homework at this age / stage is much more about keeping the parents engaged with the child's learning - they're not expecting the child to be able to complete these tasks unassisted. The reason they feel the need to do this is because too ...


4

From a college teachers perspective: It might be a combination of the things mentioned here. I'll add some things that haven't been mentioned though. I would try getting him a tutor if you can afford one. It might be that he has already decided that you can't help him. So it might be helpful for him to open up to someone else first. One thing that a ...


3

Kudos to you for helping him stay on track. While he may seem put off by it, it is probably actually good encouragement by itself with him knowing that you are there just in case. There have already been some great suggestions in terms of rewards for advancement. I agree with that but I would also add make sure the reward meets the quality of the ...


3

As a child (2nd-3rd grade), I had similar issues (was a huge procrastinator and would often avoid doing my homework however I could even though it was easy and could be done quickly). The solution my parents came to was a reward program. Basically, my parents printed off from the computer fake money (they called it "Michael Dollars" - as that's my name). ...


3

Based on the information in the question, there are a few approaches I would consider taking: Continue providing the "quiet environment" to work in, and gradually wean yourselves away from staying with her and helping the entire time. Specifically, remove yourself from her work area for increasing amounts of time, with the idea that eventually she's ...


2

If punishments are not working, switch things around and offer rewards for doing the right thing. If she completes the task, she gets X reward. If she completes it quickly, she gets something better. If it's not done at all, then the standard punishments will be applied. For example... If you tidy your room, you can stay up a little later tonight. If ...



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