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30

Consider the possibility of a learning disability, ADHD, or other obstacle that's interfering with his ability to either learn the material or express his knowledge. The issue may be a lot bigger than struggling with homework, and it's common for such children to see themselves as stupid or dumb — they know they're behind their classmates, and this leads to ...


19

This sounds like fairly common behavior for a boy that age. In fact, it sounds an awful lot like me at around 13-14. It may just be that he is testing boundaries, or it may be that he genuinely has an issue with doing his homework. The first step I'd suggest is finding out why he hasn't been doing his homework. Is he bored? Is it too tough? Does he ...


14

I had similar issues when I was growing up. Let's break this down. Your son is affable and well-liked by his teachers - so it's not a behavioral issue. With increases in homework, it's possible that your son is getting stressed by his increased workload. John's mention of forgetting terms and shortcuts over the summer months is also probable. Help him by ...


13

There is a very simple reason why you should not do your son's homework: The results of homework assignments show the teachers whether what he taught was understood. Think of the following scenario: Teacher teaches subject A. Homework covers subject A. Most homework is returned mainly correct. ->Teacher assumes it to be understood and moves on to ...


12

I am retired now and have had two distinct successful careers. However I went through a lot of problems educationally. For several years (under the age of 9) I was short-sighted but undiagnosed. Whenever there was a school sight test I would go close to the chart and memorise it so that when it was my turn, I could pass. During class I would regularly ...


11

Don't waste your time trying to get her to be self-reliant right now when she hasn't already formed the correct habits for accomplishing her work. You're primary goal is to sit down with her each and every night and help her establish a system of discipline and organization. Help her learn how to study and learn. If you don't know how to help her, find ...


10

According to ADDitude Magazine, there are multiple things that one can do to help children with ADD write things. In the classroom: Set up a note system. Start small and build skills. Demonstrate essay-writing. Give writing prompts. Encourage colourful descriptions. Explain the writing process. Allow enough time. Don't grade early work. ...


9

I disagree with removing hockey. Why? I remember being in the exact same situation and how it affected me as a person. When I was that age, I had one thing: music. It was my passion. At 13 I was writing Manilow-like music (it was 1978) on our horrible piano and I was playing trumpet and french horn at school. Meantime, my grades in Civics, Math, etc, ...


9

I agree with the points in Stephie's answer. The first step is to stop doing his assignment for him: not only is it cheating, he simply isn't learning. The entire purpose of schoolwork, whether at school or at home, is to educate him through practice. However, that does not mean completely disconnect from his homework. Especially if you have always been ...


8

It's a difficult problem because you can lead a horse to water, but can't make him drink. Every child is different, but we've found the following to help our son: Give him what he wants, but put conditions on it. We have a quiet, distraction-free area upstairs for our son to do school work, but he really hates being alone. We let him stay downstairs ...


7

Besides all the points mentioned about stress, a child-teacher-relation and others, I would like to mention another: boredom. As a child I never did any homework, unless it was absolutely necessary (like I had to give a class presentation or something). Reason was there wasn't any challenge in it. I do not want to say this is the case with your child, but ...


7

What to do depends on why she isn't getting it done. Most kids won't walk up to you and say "this is too hard" or "this teacher and I don't get along so I find doing work for him/her stressful" or "I'm worried about this bully and I can't concentrate" or "you and dad fighting all the time has me too stressed to work" or "I'm having low-grade migraines" or ...


7

By any chance do you normally praise him for being smart when he succeeds at something? http://www.parentingscience.com/praise-and-intelligence.html http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-secret-to-raising-smart-kids1/ In my opinion the 2 articles above go a little beyond what the evidence supports in their claims but certain types of praise can ...


6

Wow! does that sound familiar! As a former Middle school teacher I can tell you I had a least a couple of these kids every year. A specialist I know you don't want to throw meds at it - so please know I'm not including this information for that purpose. ADD and ADHD shows up a little differently in girls and what you describe actually describes what I ...


6

You should praise effort and not intelligence. Children praised on intelligence are afraid of failure. But if you praise them on effort they are more likely to try and stick with it. http://trickistokeepbreathing.wordpress.com/2011/04/26/praise-effort-not-ability/


6

Hence in effect the homework is more for the parents, who are supposed to do the schools job and teach their child to write letters. That's not that far off base. For young kids, homework is very much about parent/child interaction. What would be the consequences if we just ignored (part of) her homework regularly? That's a question for you to ...


5

There is research on the benefits of gaming, and the parents should read it. If the child doesn't know about it, he can do some research and supply it to the parents. If the son can calmly and politely explain his reasoning for wanting to play games, and demonstrate that he's done the research into why gaming can be good, then he may change his parents' ...


5

What kind of homework is it? Any kind of homework, or is it math? What you wrote reminded me of this blog: http://mathwithbaddrawings.com/2013/04/25/were-all-bad-at-math-1-i-feel-stupid-too/ - the frustration, the procrastination, the excuses, the avoidance... though this doesn't have to be restricted to math, math is just a very typical example. Changing ...


5

Gamify it! Work with your son to determine levels and rewards. Since he gets stuck on the more difficult problems, maybe you could tie them to "stuck it out and solved four problems for level one, six for level two,..." etc. Having him help you determine the levels and rewards will give him a lot more buy-in on the process and hopefully will give him ...


5

My guess is that he might be feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work that he needs to do. He feels that theres so much there is no possible way to do it all (at least not correctly, not step by step - not the "slow" way) in the time he has remaining. Thats why working until bed time provides him with a sense of relief. He is able to tell himself that he ...


4

I had a classroom devoted to severe ADHD cases for three years. This is how I thought about it and handled things for many of my kids. This is also the basics of the techniques I am using with my own daughter that is going to be evaluated shortly and has been struggling significantly with writing done in the "traditional way." Since switching to some ...


4

It sounds like he is already experiencing the natural consequences of not having play time, which I think is appropriate, but I would also investigate why he's not able to finish the work in class in the first place. Is he easily distracted, overwhelmed, over-stimulated, confused, etc? Could you ask the teacher, observe him, ask him? I'm happy to provide ...


4

You should always encourage her first, offer the help she needs or other incentives, but be strict about it to. Homework should come first, if she can't get her homework done then start taking away her fun things. Just like being an adult, you do what you have to do (work) so you can do what you want to do. If you get slack on your job and get fired you ...


4

I'm assuming in this answer that she is in a state primary school rather than a private school. The purpose of the homework at this age / stage is much more about keeping the parents engaged with the child's learning - they're not expecting the child to be able to complete these tasks unassisted. The reason they feel the need to do this is because too ...


4

If the homework is being assigned at the start of school, it may be that the assignments are more intended as assessments, rather than actual lessons at this point. Particularly at age 4, it seems unreasonable to expect every child to be able to properly form letters and identify words starting with that letter without a significant amount of ...


4

From a college teachers perspective: It might be a combination of the things mentioned here. I'll add some things that haven't been mentioned though. I would try getting him a tutor if you can afford one. It might be that he has already decided that you can't help him. So it might be helpful for him to open up to someone else first. One thing that a ...


3

Kudos to you for helping him stay on track. While he may seem put off by it, it is probably actually good encouragement by itself with him knowing that you are there just in case. There have already been some great suggestions in terms of rewards for advancement. I agree with that but I would also add make sure the reward meets the quality of the ...


3

Based on the information in the question, there are a few approaches I would consider taking: Continue providing the "quiet environment" to work in, and gradually wean yourselves away from staying with her and helping the entire time. Specifically, remove yourself from her work area for increasing amounts of time, with the idea that eventually she's ...


3

Nobody else has touched on this, and as an American, I'm not sure how it translates to European educational systems, but isn't 7 a late start? In my experience, this is a problem that I had with my kids when they were about 5, in kindergarten. I don't think it's a problem problem, but you may find yourself dealing with some age issues later on... an 18 yo ...



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