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11

This sounds like fairly common behavior for a boy that age. In fact, it sounds an awful lot like me at around 13-14. It may just be that he is testing boundaries, or it may be that he genuinely has an issue with doing his homework. The first step I'd suggest is finding out why he hasn't been doing his homework. Is he bored? Is it too tough? Does he ...


10

Don't waste your time trying to get her to be self-reliant right now when she hasn't already formed the correct habits for accomplishing her work. You're primary goal is to sit down with her each and every night and help her establish a system of discipline and organization. Help her learn how to study and learn. If you don't know how to help her, find ...


9

According to ADDitude Magazine, there are multiple things that one can do to help children with ADD write things. In the classroom: Set up a note system. Start small and build skills. Demonstrate essay-writing. Give writing prompts. Encourage colourful descriptions. Explain the writing process. Allow enough time. Don't grade early work. ...


8

It's a difficult problem because you can lead a horse to water, but can't make him drink. Every child is different, but we've found the following to help our son: Give him what he wants, but put conditions on it. We have a quiet, distraction-free area upstairs for our son to do school work, but he really hates being alone. We let him stay downstairs ...


7

What to do depends on why she isn't getting it done. Most kids won't walk up to you and say "this is too hard" or "this teacher and I don't get along so I find doing work for him/her stressful" or "I'm worried about this bully and I can't concentrate" or "you and dad fighting all the time has me too stressed to work" or "I'm having low-grade migraines" or ...


7

Besides all the points mentioned about stress, a child-teacher-relation and others, I would like to mention another: boredom. As a child I never did any homework, unless it was absolutely necessary (like I had to give a class presentation or something). Reason was there wasn't any challenge in it. I do not want to say this is the case with your child, but ...


5

Wow! does that sound familiar! As a former Middle school teacher I can tell you I had a least a couple of these kids every year. A specialist I know you don't want to throw meds at it - so please know I'm not including this information for that purpose. ADD and ADHD shows up a little differently in girls and what you describe actually describes what I ...


5

Hence in effect the homework is more for the parents, who are supposed to do the schools job and teach their child to write letters. That's not that far off base. For young kids, homework is very much about parent/child interaction. What would be the consequences if we just ignored (part of) her homework regularly? That's a question for you to ...


5

What kind of homework is it? Any kind of homework, or is it math? What you wrote reminded me of this blog: http://mathwithbaddrawings.com/2013/04/25/were-all-bad-at-math-1-i-feel-stupid-too/ - the frustration, the procrastination, the excuses, the avoidance... though this doesn't have to be restricted to math, math is just a very typical example. Changing ...


5

Gamify it! Work with your son to determine levels and rewards. Since he gets stuck on the more difficult problems, maybe you could tie them to "stuck it out and solved four problems for level one, six for level two,..." etc. Having him help you determine the levels and rewards will give him a lot more buy-in on the process and hopefully will give him ...


4

From a college teachers perspective: It might be a combination of the things mentioned here. I'll add some things that haven't been mentioned though. I would try getting him a tutor if you can afford one. It might be that he has already decided that you can't help him. So it might be helpful for him to open up to someone else first. One thing that a ...


4

I'm assuming in this answer that she is in a state primary school rather than a private school. The purpose of the homework at this age / stage is much more about keeping the parents engaged with the child's learning - they're not expecting the child to be able to complete these tasks unassisted. The reason they feel the need to do this is because too ...


4

If the homework is being assigned at the start of school, it may be that the assignments are more intended as assessments, rather than actual lessons at this point. Particularly at age 4, it seems unreasonable to expect every child to be able to properly form letters and identify words starting with that letter without a significant amount of ...


4

I disagree with removing hockey. Why? I remember being in the exact same situation and how it affected me as a person. When I was that age, I had one thing: music. It was my passion. At 13 I was writing Manilow-like music (it was 1978) on our horrible piano and I was playing trumpet and french horn at school. Meantime, my grades in Civics, Math, etc, ...


4

It sounds like he is already experiencing the natural consequences of not having play time, which I think is appropriate, but I would also investigate why he's not able to finish the work in class in the first place. Is he easily distracted, overwhelmed, over-stimulated, confused, etc? Could you ask the teacher, observe him, ask him? I'm happy to provide ...


4

You should always encourage her first, offer the help she needs or other incentives, but be strict about it to. Homework should come first, if she can't get her homework done then start taking away her fun things. Just like being an adult, you do what you have to do (work) so you can do what you want to do. If you get slack on your job and get fired you ...


4

You should praise effort and not intelligence. Children praised on intelligence are afraid of failure. But if you praise them on effort they are more likely to try and stick with it. http://trickistokeepbreathing.wordpress.com/2011/04/26/praise-effort-not-ability/


3

Some techniques that have worked with our 8 year old girl, with an ADHD diagnosis, to make the writing process easier. And when the writing is easier, the effort to get her to do it is also easier. Using ruled paper - it helps when she has boundaries for writing. A weighted writing wrist band and a pencil holder - helps with legibility. Writing in short ...


3

One other thing. It is possible sometimes to make a game out of certain things, like spelling tennis. Things like, can she spell a word before having to catch a ball you bounce pass to her? Sometimes this kind of activity can shake it up a little and remove some of the stress associated with homework and let her know that learning can be fun and doesn't ...


3

Yes and no. I'm not going to link the study because I can't find it right now, but the general consensus I've found when looking into this matter is that there can be some temporary strain, especially associated with computer usage (14+ hours a day) or reading in low light, but that in general it all sorts itself out after a night's sleep. I have seen no ...


3

As a child (2nd-3rd grade), I had similar issues (was a huge procrastinator and would often avoid doing my homework however I could even though it was easy and could be done quickly). The solution my parents came to was a reward program. Basically, my parents printed off from the computer fake money (they called it "Michael Dollars" - as that's my name). ...


3

Kudos to you for helping him stay on track. While he may seem put off by it, it is probably actually good encouragement by itself with him knowing that you are there just in case. There have already been some great suggestions in terms of rewards for advancement. I agree with that but I would also add make sure the reward meets the quality of the ...


3

Based on the information in the question, there are a few approaches I would consider taking: Continue providing the "quiet environment" to work in, and gradually wean yourselves away from staying with her and helping the entire time. Specifically, remove yourself from her work area for increasing amounts of time, with the idea that eventually she's ...


2

If punishments are not working, switch things around and offer rewards for doing the right thing. If she completes the task, she gets X reward. If she completes it quickly, she gets something better. If it's not done at all, then the standard punishments will be applied. For example... If you tidy your room, you can stay up a little later tonight. If ...


2

Nobody else has touched on this, and as an American, I'm not sure how it translates to European educational systems, but isn't 7 a late start? In my experience, this is a problem that I had with my kids when they were about 5, in kindergarten. I don't think it's a problem problem, but you may find yourself dealing with some age issues later on... an 18 yo ...


2

Based on your answer to the question I asked above, I suggest speeding up the fun stuff going away then, at least until homework is done. My parents did that to me at about 4th grade or so (when I hit in retrospect the worst teacher I'd ever had, and gave up caring about schoolwork). School was my "job", and hard work at it was what earned the fun things to ...


2

I had a classroom devoted to severe ADHD cases for three years. This is how I thought about it and handled things for many of my kids. This is also the basics of the techniques I am using with my own daughter that is going to be evaluated shortly and has been struggling significantly with writing done in the "traditional way." Since switching to some ...


1

First, I would stop talking about ADD. It is what it is. All you do by talking about it is prime everyone for failure. I am not saying it doesn't exist, or that it isn't relevant. I am saying that nothing can be done about it, so move on. As much as folks would like to think otherwise, and as much as some are trying to legislate otherwise, the world isn't ...



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