Tag Info

Hot answers tagged

46

It's absolutely possible to give kids presents on Christmas without bringing Santa into the picture. (Indeed, even in families whose holiday tradition includes Santa, there are almost always presents where the tag says "From Grandma" or "From Uncle Tim", not "From Santa".) Interestingly, even if you don't tell your kids about Santa, it's possible they will ...


36

Is lying worse than the good aspects? Aren't the negative things it brings (telling them the truth eventually) worse than the good things? No. Children experience the world differently than adults, due to their incomplete knowledge. It may, in fact, be harder for some children to understand that my daily departure from home for many hours is what ...


33

There is no need to lie. Telling the "Jedi truth" is a different matter. I remember, back in college, turning on the TV and listening to some bible-thumper tell me that we shouldn't tell our children about Santa Claus, because we're eventually going to have to tell them that he's fake. And then...maybe Jesus is fake?!? I'm Christian, so this really got ...


25

I somewhat like Pratchett's take on the question "You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable." REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE. "Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—" YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT ...


10

I use Hallowe'en as a way to encourage artistic expression in my children. As they grow older, I continue to encourage them to dress-up and I model this by accompanying them in costume. However, as they grow older, the focus changes from them being the ones asking for candy to them creating more elaborate costumes and being chaperones for the little ones who ...


10

A little sister huh? What are you waiting for? ;) The answer to me depends on whether she's old enough to know that her expectations aren't realistic or not. If she is then I'd simply say that those aren't things that Santa is likely to be able to do and she might want to think about other things she might like to put on the list. I'd expect her to think of ...


9

Have him be with you when you write the thank you notes. Help him draw a picture or sign his name to the card, so that he can take part. That way he's giving back a little. There is joy in the giving that he may relate to. It's also good to help him understand who the people are who care about him. Some parents have a tradition with their children where ...


8

My experience was a bit different from most. I found out, at age seven, on a bus full of other kids on the way to school the day after Christmas vacation ended. I remember a burning sense of shame, and of betrayal. Shame for being so "stupid" as to have believed a lie, and betrayal toward parents who had put me in the situation where I had half a bus full ...


7

There's an age at which you just can't teach them. Social lying vs. bad lying is a really, really tough one for kids. If you are very lucky, by the time your child is 8 or 9 years old, he/she will be socially aware enough to understand that: A person gives you a gift for a desired effect (hopefully, to have done something nice, or to make the recipient ...


7

I actually believe he does exist in a way similar to that depicted in the article, "Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus." So, when my daughter asked about it at five I said, "what do you think" she said, "I think he is real." Two weeks ago when she asked at six and said, "I don't know Mom" I responded by telling her the story of St. Nicholas and fessing ...


6

Don't lie to your children about Santa. Just don't. You won't destroy the "magic of christmas". Kids can have lots of fun with make-pretend without being lied to that its real. My brother and I were raised in a Christmas-lie free household. We got presents, and Easter eggs, and all the other fun parts, and we knew they came from our parents or assorted ...


6

Part of a child's reaction upon finding out that Santa isn't real depends on how you talk about him. If you talk about him with using a lot of fantasy and whimsey and a kind of wink in your eye, they'll figure it out soon enough, because in real life, reindeer don't fly any better than pigs. If you also read other mythological stories, for example, we read ...


5

In addition to the great answers covering how you portray Santa, I'll add something related that's worth thinking about, regardless of when you address the reality. How you handle the revelation is very important, also. Be aware of your child's personality, and be prepared for several different eventualities. If your child is a "rules" child - teacher's ...


5

We had Baby Banz too, but my baby didn't like to keep them on. Evolution has a nice way of protecting baby's eyes even without sunglasses; pupils contract in bright light, preventing excess UV exposure. And babies can close their eyes if it's too bright for them, which they will do. So I wouldn't worry too much about the sunglasses, especially since you ...


5

Your child is still very young and the eyes are continuing to develop. As pointed out in the comments, keeping glasses on her can be a challenge. Whether it's a translucent cloth that's very breathable (I don't know what they are called, but think of a sunshade type cloth), sunglasses or something else, you should absolutely protect her eyes. Keep in mind ...


5

Would it be possible to go ahead and allow the other kids to go ahead and start enjoying their presents while this one set of cousins continues to open their presents? I mean, it seems ridiculous to me that one family is allowed to monopolize the time of everyone else because their parents are spoiling them rotten (ok, maybe they're not, but it certainly ...


5

Creating Santa is about making magic. When kids finally figure out there is no Santa, you can explain that they are right, Mum and Dad were just making magic for them, and now that they have figured it out, they get to be like the grown-ups and help make magic for younger children. While saddened by the realization that there is no Santa, they will be ...


4

I liked GdD's answer to this one if the problem was really a lack of understanding, but since it was actually the "high-ball technique" we woundd up just giving her two things (one from us, one from "santa") that we just knew she would enjoy. She learned, we couldn't be manipulated. Then the Easter bunny brought the puppy ;-)


4

I think that a child will make it clear that they would rather go to a Halloween party than to trick or treating. Having seen engineers and artists, and artistic engineers, creating some fantastic costumes, I don't think that there's an upper age limit on Halloween - even the dead and undead can be found at such parties. Simply put, I think your child will ...


4

Talk to the parents beforehand Preferably sometime a days or weeks in advance, not ten minutes before they're leaving, discuss your concerns with sis in law. Explain your concerns: your kids feeling jealous, bored, less appreciative of their own gifts, etc. Obviously, your goal is not to stifle your sis in law's generosity (and make sure she knows this), but ...


4

My own childhood experience may illustrate a way that the figure of Father Christmas (as we would call him in the UK) can be introduced to children without the necessity of telling untruths (for any value of untruth). In my family we have a tradition of leaving stockings (very large ones) at the end of the bed on Christmas Eve and then having them filled in ...


3

A dozen different answers an a dozen different opinions. I have two kids who believed in Santa until about ages 8 and 7 (younger one got hints from the older one) and all I can say is that they were just thrilled with the idea when they believed and were not disappointed at all when they found out the truth. It was more like a funny teasing. There were ...


3

For us, we explain that Santa is all of us. That Santa is in fact still real, but not as a tangible human, more as an emotion or a motivation in us all. So parents fill the stockings - but not exclusively, since I fill my mother's stocking and she adds things to the ones I helped to fill. And we send "stocking extras" in parcels to be added to stockings when ...


3

I have a nice simple rule of thumb: If they're old enough to do it by themselves (i.e. without an adult accompanying them) then they're too old.


3

This is a great article on how to teach children how to show appreciation and teach them ahead of time. http://familyfun.go.com/magazine/familyfun-magazine-archive/familyfun-december-january-2010/the-art-of-gratitude-807117/


3

I find myself far less concerned with the older kids trick-or-treating than the parent with an infant who clearly should not be having candy coming to the door to get their candy. I think a long as there is effort in dressing up and their are respectful, there is no problem with older kids going out. I do expect a thank you though and call kids out on it ...


3

I have no idea of the actual magnitude of the effect of lying to offspring about Santa Claus. It's almost certainly impossible to figure, and to me the magnitude of any given lie was irrelevant. What concerned me originally, within a few months after my daughter's birth, was the simple realization that a good portion of things commonly told to children by ...


3

If you earnestly lie to your children about Santa, you are lieing. Don't lie to your kids. If you have a make-believe game with them about Santa, you are playing with them in the way that they are perfectly accustomed to playing all the time. Let's play trucks, lets play cowboys and indians (OK, that's not PC anymore these days), let's play ... ...


2

My view is they are too old, when they decide they are. We get a wide range of kids, although we don't give candy away - neither my wife and I really like to encourage that sort of thing, more importantly we get a small amount of treaters due to the location of our street. Buying candy means we'd eat most of it after, so we give away small decks of playing ...


2

At a high level, even though truthfulness is very important for ethics, there are certain situations where it is ethically expected, acceptable, better or necessary to intentionally deceive someone. a ruse or feint in war undercover detective work a magic trick a feint in most games or sports a disguise or costume in a play concealing a surprise party ...



Only top voted, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible