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27

The simple answer, although I suspect it is the answer you don't want to hear, is that you need to limit your son's exposure to your friend's daughter, and make sure that the interactions are supervised (by you, not just your friend!). I have to admit I'm not familiar with the "Conscious and Peaceful Parenting Approach", but this has all the earmarks of ...


15

My daughter is 16 months (the "terrible twos" begin in the second year of life, remember) and we've always been conscious about discouraging, politely but firmly, any behaviors that cause physical injury. She may not understand all of the words we say, but a firm "no" is pretty well-ingrained as a signal that she's about to get plunked in her crib for 15 ...


11

At some point, in the myriad parenting books, articles, and magazines my wife and I read, somebody said that the best way to discipline a child under 2 is to do the following: get down on the ground grab their arms and hold them down to the sides of their body keep them at a distance and look them in the eyes and say "NO biting" (or whatever) sternly and ...


11

Your friend is being inconsistent. Her daughter doesn't like having her hand restrained? Does she think perhaps your son enjoys being hit? Talk about "violates bodily boundaries"! It's true that toddlers will naturally hit and bite. One of the roles of a parent is to intervene and to teach other ways of expressing feelings. Without that help, a toddler can ...


7

My view is that it is my responsibility to protect and to teach my child. I have been in the situation you've described, faced with the results of the rather permissive parenting style of your friend. I stopped the younger child hitting my son, saying out loud that hitting is wrong and saying to my child that to respond with violence is also wrong. ...


7

I agree with Beofett. This particular parenting style seems to be the latest fad among some groups of parents--one of my sisters-in-law happens to be one of those parents. She makes excuses for her sons' behaviors explaining them as "developmentally appropriate" and making little to no attempt to discipline her kids even when their behavior is obviously ...


7

It sounds like the situation (and your daughter) are suffering for lack of consistent, appropriate discipline and an understanding of the cause of your daughter's behavior. First, get a discipline plan in place. You, your spouse, the nanny, and anyone else involved in your child's upbringing must stick to it or it won't work. It should go something like ...


3

The mum of this child blames my son such as stating that he should learn to assert and defend himself. (...) This is why I suggested to my son that he should gently hold the girl’s hand and firmly say “NO”/“STOP”. My friend is not happy with this and has told him to stop it as this then violates her daughter’s bodily boundaries (...) Then what on ...


3

My son (just turned 5) was like that, and he eventually grew out of it. We took a couple different approaches. On the punishment side, we'd go with time-out, or isolation in his room; we felt that giving him a lot of interaction for his bad behavior would just be rewarding it. (He has two older sisters, so it didn't particularly surprise us that he would ...


3

I'm not sure that at your daughter's age, she is totally capable of controlling herself or even understanding what an apology is. She does know or can feel the intense emotions that come during and after hitting. I would let her know that hitting isn't allowed and that you won't let her hurt another child. Move her away if need be and watch for signs that ...


3

Absolutely you should punish your daughter! Hitting, pushing, and other aggressive behavior is not permitted. Some negative consequence must be applied when she acts out in this way. I suggest that you put her in timeout, and if the conflict is about something, take the something away from your daughter and give it to the other child. As you have ...


2

Luckily for me my daughter (2.5 years old by now) is far from such behaviour but I'll share what I would do in such a situation. First hit just say "No" firmly and explain that what he's doing hurts. Toddlers understand much more than we think. If he's doing it again, grab him and move him away from his sister/mother for example to his room or just any ...


2

Like you said, avoid exemplifying the unwanted behavior as much as you can. Try to have arguments and disagreements in a civilized tone, with positive body language in trying to persuade the other party to your point of view. Don't make him apologize too much. Cut back on the emphasis of make-ups and "taking damage" from outbursts. In my opinion too much ...


2

If it's caused by frustration, then a likely source of that is trouble verbalizing those feelings. Scoldings and time outs (or whatever discipline tactics you've standardized on) are definitely appropriate, and should be enforced reasonably consistently with this. However, they don't address the source cause and thus as you point out are unlikely to ...


2

The key to effective discipline is consistency. Whatever you choose to do, react that way every time. Luckily we haven't had too much trouble with hitting, but that's because we nipped it in the bud immediately. Time outs often don't work, in my opinion, for hitting. When our children hit or pushed, we would grab their hand and very sternly say "no!" It ...


1

Almost all kids go through a phase like that, although it's longer for some than for others. We used time outs for our children, but we had to be consistent every single time, we had to recognize their triggers and catch them in the "wind up" if at all possible, and we had to teach them alternate ways to express their frustration. In other words, don't ...


1

Our 20-month-old has started doing the same thing. USUALLY we can determine the cause (wants a marker that his sister has, for example), but as he's too young to verbalize it very well we've been doing a few things that seem to help. Redirect: if we see an impending meltdown or hit coming, we redirect to a new toy/activity/anything to distract him. His ...


1

Patience, patience, and more patience. It sounds to me like you have a wonderful child and are doing everything you can. Stopping him as soon as you see the behavior and explaining to him that it is wrong with as much patience and love as you can muster with time-outs when necessary are the right thing to do in my opinion. You can try to give him some ...



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