New answers tagged

1

Find something they want to do, which will challenge them. Something that will require planning, etc. to be successful at. I suggest you find something s/he wants to do that has lots of challenging levels so that they can seek their own level and have a more challenging level to work on. Games work best for this (it's a primary principle of "engagement" ...


2

Tl/Dr: The solution is best found in areas far away from the homework, like sports and martial arts. In those parts of life, your girlfriend's son may be able to find the opportunity to build the skills you want him to apply towards homework. Please forgive the length of the prose. Writing clearly is a skill I'm trying to develop, and I don't want to rush ...


2

The original poster mentioned in the comments that the teenager is "very much" a perfectionist. Here is a possible scenario: The boy is happy to do a task that he can do perfectly. But there are several reasons that he might not be able to do a task perfectly: He might not know how to do the task perfectly. He might not have a way of judging ...


1

I think I know your son's problem. You see, he knows perfectly well that he ought to do his homework earlier, but whenever he tries, he suddenly decides it's time to watch three hours of video game speed runs on Youtube, or reorganize his email inbox, or check the refrigerator to see if there's anything new in there since the last time he checked 10 minutes ...


1

Many of the answers seem to assume that the kid is getting to the point where he is having difficulty in school. However, you say that his grades are still very good. I'd suggest that another possibility is that he still finds things very easy, and procrastinates because he finds the work boring and knows he can do it at the last minute and still get by. ...


1

What is he doing when he is not studying? I have a gifted teen and I find he gets trapped by computer games. Since he is an older teen, I talk with him about his daily schedule and setting a time that he will start work by each day. Routines help procrastinators a lot as it takes less effort if you have habits in place. Ideally these can be triggered by ...


2

If I were the gifted kid, none of these would work. Solutions out there look like you either kind of force him to do some work(by managing his time), or just tell him how bad it is to be disorganised. First one will make him angry(and if you're not his father, this can affect your relationship with him); second one will just not work. Here's what I would do....


10

A lot of recent studies have linked procrastination with a poor ability to deal with "negative" emotions and impulsiveness. It's not poor planning or bad time-management; it's avoidance; it's an emotional defense mechanism. The fact that this teen is gifted probably has nothing to do with it, except that he'll probably be able to "get away with it" and ...


6

Maybe he's bored? No educational system is a one-size-fits-all. In fact, I don't think it truly fits anybody perfectly. It is a shame a gifted child has to waste their time perceiving school as the solitary path to a normal, happy, and productive life. In my experience, I always did best in school and elsewhere in life's commitments when I paired it with ...


16

Gifted kids have problems with approaching work in a disciplined manner because they don't experience a benefit in doing so. If you give a "normal" kid a "normal" math test, their level of preparation largely determines the outcome. This is a lesson they learn over and over in school. If you give a "gifted" kid a "normal" math test (and most gifted ones, ...


3

Procrastination is not a problem limited to teenagers. This may be exacerbated if he finds the intellectual or problem solving aspect of the work easy and feeling like going through the process of getting it done is a fairly pointless chore. Here there is a difference between him understanding the material set and going through the process of explaining to ...


6

As a former 'gifted teen', I figured I'd weigh in. In my (personal, biased) experience, the procrastination is the real problem here rather than an increase in the difficulty of tasks. So how do you break a procrastinator out of their habits? Encourage him to keep a planner/calendar for his deadlines and consult it daily. Try to get him to estimate the ...


7

An aspect no one seems to have covered: Let him fail at something, once. I was in that situation. Coasted easily for a long time, could not deal with real difficult stuff once I got to it. In my case, until I failed seriously, I wouldn't accept that I had to work hard. The more parents would try to help/guide, the least I'd learn the lesson. Marks below ...


8

I would comment but I don't have the rep for it, so this is getting posted as an answer. I just want to back up what Paul Johnson and Jeff Clark have said already. They're exactly right. I'm only 20 so I can probably give you a good perspective on what he's going through. I was "gifted" in school and always coasted along, but then senior year of high ...


4

Hear it from others Obviously, teenagers are typically deaf to wisdom from their parental figures. I suggest setting up situations for this young man to speak with gifted adults working in challenging fields that may interest him. Invite such individuals to dinner, and/or arrange for him (not you!) to set up an “informational interview” with such persons ...


2

Cognitive dissonance In a nutshell it was explained in some article, as, "sour grapes" from Aesop's fables. The fox couldnt reach the grapes by jumping for them, so gave up, "...they are probably sour anyway." For background, see this Google scholar search on "cognitive dissonance in gifted children". The particularly enlightning article was from a few ...


36

I would like to supplement Paul's answer a little by abstracting a little bit. The reason gifted children may have this behavior is because the adults near them praise them for how smart they are, not for tackling a difficult task they have trouble doing--even if they failed. Mainly because most of the time in early life they do not fail :) At the moment, I ...


55

Sounds like a common problem for gifted children: they finally reach a level where sitting back and coasting isn't enough, and having to actually put in some effort comes as a serious shock. Often the more gifted the child the worse this is, because greater talents merely put off the evil day and the resulting flameout is all the worse. At least this is ...



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