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1

I always assumed these types of preferences were purely due to social conditioning. However from my own observation of my children (a boy and a girl, not twins) there does seem to be some distinct differences in the types of toys they've always preferred. Our daughter has always shown a strong preference for soft toys, and our son has always preferred ...


0

Dave has mentioned this a bit, but I think that there's something that can add a bit of explanation. Understanding of what's going on is always good for solving it. My experience as a scoutmaster is that boys living without strong male figures seem to do "girly things" more during childhood and even puberty. This includes children from separated families ...


2

Two short anecdotes for you: My brother loved to play with our sister's Barbie, My Little Pony and Silvanian Family toys when he was little. He isn't gay. My neighbour has a 3-year-old boy who likes to wear a Cinderella dress and pink wellington boots everywhere. Do his parents care? Not really. They obviously bought those things for him because that's ...


30

There's nothing whatsoever wrong with your son, but there is something very very wrong with his father. The best thing you can do is try to limit your sons exposure to this person. If he has these sorts of attitudes you should be able to argue that he is a danger to your sons emotional well-being and potentially have his level of access limited to only ...


4

I am glad to see this conversation and particularly to see so many advocate for a child being supported to be whoever and whatever he feels he is. When a child feels accepted, it goes a long way toward developing self-confidence. Self-confident people are better-equipped to handle life's challenges in a smart, aware way, and to use their talents to improve ...


-2

There is very little I can say that hasn't already been said. Disclosure: I don't have a son (yet, but that's another story for another day) but I have kids. My point being that if I did have a son there will inevitably come a day where he would want to play with his sisters' toys. There is a clear distinction between behavior I would define as okay for a ...


12

First of all, he's just fine. Nothing to correct here. Second, I don't think sexual orientation is a choice or something you can change. You're born with it. I see it like this. If the doll represents anything, it most likely represents his mother. He lives with her, sees her living as a woman, dressing up, putting on makeup, etc... and he's emulating ...


4

Lots of great answers here, but I notice one thing that is missing that you might care to think about. Perhaps more important than whether a child plays with dolls or toy soldiers, or whatever, is playing with the parent(s). At least with my kids, I pick what we play with based on my interests. That might sound unfair, but I know I'll play longer and ...


12

I am 53, and I have been married for 24 years with 2 sons. In my childhood I spent all my time playing with the dolls people gave my sister; I also won prizes for cookery, sewing and flower arranging - my wife has several items of clothing I have sewn for her. My sister spent all our childhood playing with the toy cars and so on people gave me: she is ...


-1

Regarding the following statement: His dad told me that he "wasn't raisin a faggot" and that he should have our son living with him so he can teach him how to be a man. I won't agree to this because he is my only child. All other issues aside, this sounds like the reason that you would not agree for the boy to live with his father is for your interests ...


61

Playing with "girl" toys at the age of five is indeed completely normal behavior for a little boy. You are correct not to worry and to allow your son to play in the way that he enjoys. It doesn't mean that he is gay, and it certainly won't "make" him gay; his sexual orientation is likely already fixed by the age of five, although he is probably still to ...


4

Re dealing with the Dad, maybe tell him that liking girly things could be an early sign of heterosexuality? It's a bit odd to think of an interest in the the opposite gender as a sign that he might be gay... An older boy who likes girls might ask a girl out or something, but a small boy who thinks girls are nice will not have such things on his mind and will ...


54

Your son is doing what he is doing in response to his own internal drives. His actions are nothing but a combination of genetics and life experience. Playing with dolls won't "turn him into a fag." He will eventually develop some level of attraction towards males and females that is determined by his genetics as well as prenatal testosterone exposure from ...


5

I would like you to mention the following points: Whether he has any male friend(s) / siblings of his age? If "Yes", then how does he behave with them? Does he like to play with them? What personal interests does he show while he is in their company? (boys' interest/girls' interests) For a 5 year old child displaying the behaviour you mentioned, I ...


11

As others have mentioned, enjoying dolls isn't particularly unusual for a little boy and does NOT mean your son will grow up to be gay. The bigger problem here is your and your son's relationship with his dad. I'm a big believer that children need positive role models of both genders --but those role models don't necessarily have to be the children's ...


33

Your son likes picking out his clothes. I can't see that as a gender-defining issue. One of my (now married) sons had such a great eye for arranging flowers in the most interesting and imaginative ways that I would sometimes send him to the garden with a pair of clippers and a free hand (something my other children didn't get (blush)! Playing with a wide ...


24

I highly doubt there is a correlation between sexual orientation and the kind of toy one plays with at five years old. I can't imagine what would cause that, anyway; 'boy toys' and 'girl toys' are social constructs mostly unrelated to biology or sexuality, but to the expected role those children will play as adults.* There is probably a correlation, ...


85

Kids like toys. My daughter plays with trucks and shovels and her toy lawn mower. My son will undoubtedly wind up playing with old toys that my daughter used to play with. This link from baby center would indicate that you, as a parent, are simply enabling your child's normal and healthy imagination and that: "playing with Barbies at age 2 or 3 isn't ...


-1

Trying to hyper control a child will not have a good outcome. Children learn by example. Whatever example you set, the child will emulate. Often the quality of a child is linked to the mother's estimation of the father. If the mother thinks poorly of the father, the child will not come out well, and vice versa. I have often observed that the best children ...


3

By not trying to be perfect You seem to believe that children come into the world as blank slates, and that in order for them to grow up right you need to model your vision of perfection. This is impossible, you are setting yourself up for failure. Even if you were somehow to achieve perfection how will your daughter learn coping skills? What will happen ...


0

During the course of history there were many attempts to create, build, invent and bring up the perfect, ideal something. Thay have all failed miserably. Focus on loving your child, try to be the best mother possible, but be prepared to being good enough. For your own sake and for your child's sake. If you do to bring up your child with the same attitude ...


-2

Do not over-think, I ask. You can guide her towards your ideals, but too strongly and she will rebel. Show her moderation and mindfulness. Lead by example and expose her to the world and equip her with as much information as you can. Do not tell her the world is sexist. Let her decide for herself. The world is what you make of it, and it may be sexist ...



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