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268

Firstly, I have to admit that while reading your question I was wondering if you're being serious. For me (as a hopeful future father with the same questions in mind), your solutions sound shocking and I would certainly advise against them. To reflect on some points... 1) "no TV ever, no movies, no pop music, no magazines" Does this also mean no friends? ...


50

Wow! Well, it sounds as though you want to be the perfect family, and the perfect parents. And it's easy to understand why. Who wouldn't want the best of everything for their children? I have a couple of general comments, I hope you'll find them useful. Oh and before I forget, congratulations on your soon-to-arrive new addition to the family! :) So... ...


45

We homeschool our kids, so perhaps I can provide a unique perspective. A lot of the other answers seem to be primarily worried about friends. People sparked friendships for millenia before television and public education, and they can do so today. It's hard to see when your own childhood friendships formed at school over common pop culture interests, but ...


35

While I think your intentions are good, I think that some of what you are doing will actually have negative effects. Dolls are a perfectly healthy toy - both my son and my daughters played with them. They also all played with toy shops, aeroplanes, racing cars, horses etc. My point is: they are toys. Whether they have any gender affiliation in your family ...


31

In my experience, people see what they want to see in movies. For example, there was a brouhaha about Frozen promoting a gay agenda. If you actually examine the plots, the messages of princess movies are overwhelmingly that wealth and good looks are not enough. Snow White and the witch were both very beautiful, but one was vain and one was modest and ...


30

I agree that there may be an issue here - ie, some Disney movies perpetuate gender stereotypes, gender roles, and other things that aren't good things to perpetuate. However, I feel like this is similar to the censorship debate, in that simply not letting your kid watch them is not the right answer. Your kid will be exposed to similar issues whether or not ...


27

You lack one key: To be wonderful, to be amazing, to be successful, she must not be locked in this overwhelming strategy. Sadly, you are contributing to "this sexist world". It seems the motivation behind her future micro-managed life is that she is female, and as such will require much more "equipment" in order to survive. This is false. Your daughter ...


18

My daughter is about to turn 11, and I have similar hopes for her. Each of the paragraphs below is a category that her father and I have found to be influences on her in some way, and ways we try to approach them. Provide positive examples. This needs to be both men and women, of course: women who embody the values and confidence you hope for her to have, ...


13

I think you're overthinking this a bit. It's great for brainstorming, but don't let little things like whether or not she gets to play with dolls distract you from your primary laudable goal of raising an amazing daughter. For instance, why wouldn't an intelligent and happy child be able to enjoy and possibly even benefit from a bit of TV? What's so ...


8

On top of the great answer from bmgh1985 (and I'd particularly second their recommendations of 'Something Special' and 'Balamory') here are some more suggestions: In the Night Garden: Very safe, very gentle stories for real littlies which sometimes star female characters, sometimes male (and sometimes ones where you can't tell). The DVDs have a special ...


8

I think we are spoiled in the UK as we have some great programming available. If you can find them, here are some to watch out for: Balamory - Lead is a scottish lady and there are diverse characters included from other races and also disabled characters (another thing i like about our shows). Something Special - there is one main guy in it but he works ...


7

While you should definitely vet the content of movies you let your child watch, Disney movies are perhaps the least problematic in this regard. Let's look at a few Disney movies with these Princess characters. I'm going to limit it to the previous century to avoid an incredibly unweildy list problem. Snow White Here right off the bat we do have a ...


7

I like what you are hoping to do. However, be very careful with how you approach raising your child in this manner! I was raised much like this... For the first 13 years of my life. There are numerous opportunities that I missed, chances to do things that would have been very helpful to me now. Also, once your daughter leaves her seclusion (and trust me, she ...


5

I'd like to take your post and translate it into a list of one-word goals for qualities you'd like your daughter to have, let me know if I seem to have missed anything or misinterpreted: Confidence Perseverance Individuality Happy Intelligent Knowledgeable Ambitious Your goals for your daughter sound very well-thought out. You clearly want the best for ...


5

There's a whole lot of worse things he could be doing. Like drugs. Vandalism. Getting into trouble. The things you've listed as things he enjoys are completely harmless. So let him do them as he wants, and allow him to freely continue to discover who he is. What if your son does turn out to be gay? Would you rather him feel judged and alone and ...


5

Some other options that might be worth taking a look at: Sid the Science Kid is more inclusive than some of the other PBS options. While the characters are Muppets, they've also got recognizable ethnicity. Ni Hao, Kai-Lan or Dora the Explorer from Nick Jr. -- while each has a non-white, female protagonist, there aren't a whole lot of other human characters ...


4

In addition to the answers already given, I'd also add My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Almost all the main characters are female, yet the plot lines are not all stereotypical girly-girly things. (My 4-year-old son likes it almost as much as my 5-year-old daughter.) Cupcakes and butterflies are balanced with action and adventure. The ponies are all ...


3

Just wanted to note: If you say completely NO to any kind of useless media like TV, films, actual books,... and you do only home schooling it will be pretty hard for your daugther to find friends. What should they talk about? Most kids speak about the lastest film, music, TV, internet memes, social networks or school events. Your daughter will not be able ...


3

By not trying to be perfect You seem to believe that children come into the world as blank slates, and that in order for them to grow up right you need to model your vision of perfection. This is impossible, you are setting yourself up for failure. Even if you were somehow to achieve perfection how will your daughter learn coping skills? What will happen ...


2

First, let me just say that your English is very good, especially for it being your third language. You are clearly very well-educated and talented in your own right, and you want to give your daughter the best possible chance you can for a good and happy life in the future. Please, please for goodness sake do not try to control every aspect of her life. ...


2

First off, I want to clarify that I'm not 100% sure how to pick a show that doesn't have gender stereotypes, if the "hero" of the show can't be a certain gender. In the question, it was outline that "Super Why" was not a good fit, because the hero is a male and the sidekicks are female. Thus, I'm assuming that a show with a female hero and male sidekicks is ...


2

Yes According to a paper published in Hormones and Behavior by Janice M. Hassett, Erin R. Siebert, and Kim Wallen (citations elided): Toy play is one of the most robust human behavioral sex differences, showing moderate to very large effect sizes. [Boys] interact more with masculine-type toys than do girls, and girls interact more with feminine-type ...


1

It's a bit early for a 1 year old (early for my 2 year old, too), but I think Peg + Cat from PBS kids is great. The lead is female, and it's all about math. My son loves it, even though the math concepts are beyond his reach. I'd say many of the shows on PBS kids (you can find it on the web and on misc portable devices + streaming boxes) keep away from ...


1

Peppa Pig is definitely a strong female character :) She is always showing Daddy Pig who's boss. You can watch these on YouTube (usually some adverts though). It's based on very simple, normal, every day life situations such as going on picnics or going to the supermarket. There are a variety of "grown up" characters that are both male and female and have ...


1

Bubble Guppies: six half-human, half-guppies, each with own characteristics, go to a school and learn about things. No special characteristics (gender, skin color, hair color etc.) is even mentioned, and all have different roles in each episode.


1

My advice applies to every parent of a son in the free world: Your son will not grow up to be normal, but the good news is: He will grow up to be your son. Only in the non-free parts of the world do people not grow up like themselves, but according to 'the norm' - which is what 'normal' means.



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