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2

Some children ask "Why?" so they can better understand your ruling. Some are even able to then make other changes in plans having gained this information. It sounds like this fits your child. Others ask "Why?" so they have something to argue with. Most of them do so with simple "no we won't" kind of argument, nothing sophisticated. The first time you meet ...


4

At this young age, I'd continue to allow him to be kind and friends with the boy. It's not the other boys fault that the mom is being the way she is. I'd also maybe set up play dates of your own with other children so that your child may make some new friends and encourage him to widen his circle as he enters school. It's pretty horrible that that woman is ...


1

I would reiterate that it's your household and if he would like to be invited back, he needs to respect any time that you say "No, not right now", no matter what the reason is. I hope that your back gets to feeling better. That's a tough injury to have.


2

This is a tough situation because we hate to see our children upset, but we don't want to meddle, either. I would ask your son how he feels about the situation, then maybe model with him some things that he can say to them to tell him how he feels when they are leaving him out. It sounds like the children are using him as just a "stand-in" when they are ...


1

This may feel a little succinct, but our job is to teach our children how to deal with adult life, not protect them from life. The only way you should get involved is to teach him how to talk to his friends and tell them how he feels. How to communicate back and fourth. You never know, it could be a misunderstanding :) EDIT: The goal here is to teach ...


1

I really feel for you. It must be devastating to see your son going through this. I have a 10-yr-old son and he has gone through a situation like this in the past, too. In our case, I talked to his teacher at his school and asked her to keep an eye on them and tell me if she witnessed something. (I got the OK from my son before I spoke with her.) This ...


1

The basic problem is that a twin brother or sister makes for an infinitely better and especially easier friend than all of those strange and unpredictable kids with their unfamiliar habits and ways of expressing themselves. Single kids about that age have a strong drive to belong and thus are prompted to undergo the learning process of being social and ...


-1

Never knowingly expose your child to a person who is abusive, no matter how 'good-hearted' or 'unknowing.' Because my parents believed in 'forgiveness,' this happened to me repeatedly with a certain family friend as a child, who (all good-hearted, friendless, and unknowing) later sexually assaulted me, and this continues to affect me negatively as an adult.


3

This may seem late but I hope it adds help to what you have been told already. From what you are saying, Joe's mum is not putting enough effort to discipline her son. Your children need your maximum support and also you need to train them to do the following in the most responsible way; They must learn to support each other. How? If one hurts your brother ...


-1

What will you do if "Joe" will seriously hurt your kids, like poke with something in an eye? Don't make your kids meet him, there is no reason for that. If "Joe" will be unhappy, it is good for him - because unhappiness makes you think about your own behavior.


1

Does Joe want to come to your daughter's birthday? (I guess so). Then, not being able to attend because he attacked your son should teach him a valuable lesson. Depending on you, your son and your daughter wishes, you may be willing to finally allow him if he apologises, promises he's going to be nice to the other children (specially during the party), etc. ...


4

As I see it, the heart of your dilemma is that: You want your children to be safe, and feel safe You want your children to understand the value of compassion, and want to model that behavior by showing compassion to Joe, as you believe Joe is not intentionally a bully or violent. I applaud you for both of these goals. Most parents get #1 intuitively. ...


1

Everyone has different opinions on what should or should not be done, but your primary focus needs to be on your kids. With all things "relationship", I try to remember that "I can not control others, only my self, " and that "We perceive only what we can perceive." Essentially, you can't demand that the other party (kid or parent) do anything, all you can ...


1

A few weeks ago, Joe hit my son in the park and hurt him pretty bad Does that mean hospitalization? Was he sore for a few days after? This statement is really difficult to analyze because it is vague to the point of me not understanding just what happened. I'm not necessarily seeking to extend things by having you provide more answers, but I'm saying ...


1

Seriously. It's important not to be wishy-washy about this. For me, the situation is clear: this boy is dangerous to both physical and emotional health of your kids. Stay away from this family altogether until they get their act together. We are (were) his only friends. As a family, we are compassionate and forgiving. By being these people's friends ...


2

I back the sensible answer of a having a chat with the mother and gently but firmly suggest that play dates are barred until she does something about Joe behaviour. Yet, I would say you should invite him to the party if your daughter wants him. The party is a social experience much like school, where people you don't want to confront will be present. This ...


2

"Joe hit my daughter twice" ... "A few weeks ago, Joe hit my son in the park and hurt him pretty bad." 1) What can I tell the mom about Joe and my daughter having a play date (without me? of course not)? My instinct is to say when he gets professional help, we can try again, but that seems too pushy. I'd say follow your instinct. It's not pushy ...


17

Don't invite Joe to the birthday. He won't have your daughter's full attention, and he'll get upset. This will be setting him up to fail, and that's not what Joe needs. (Nor is it what Joe's victim will need.) If you want to do something special, invite Joe and his mom out to dinner for your daughter's birthday.


5

This is a tricky one indeed. Although I feel sorry for "Joe", I can feel the anxiety this is building up for you. His mom is clearly in denial- and I'm not sure what transpires behind close doors in their house, but am a firm believer in nurture over nature. From Joe's perspective, it may be as simple as a case of jealousy - your daughter is his only ...


3

This boils down to how much your daughter is willing to endure to try to be this boy's friend. Is she afraid of being hurt herself? Is this stressful for her? How does she feel about the situation? The real determining factor is whether she is going to be better off doing this (feeling good about helping a friend) than she is going to be worse off (stress, ...


25

Your kids' need to feel safe is more important than this other kid's need to have friends, and you need to tell the other mother that.


70

I'm not a professional, but my view is that you don't have any relationship whatsoever with a person who has harmed your children unless the wish for a relationship comes entirely from the child who was harmed, with no prompting or encouragement. Doing so delivers to your child a message that they're expected to accept abuse and allow abusive people to ...


38

How you act in this situation depends a lot on how much you and your daughter want to see this friendship continue. Make sure to evaluate this from the perspective of how it affects your children, not Joe. I know this might come off as a bit heartless, but Joe isn't your responsibility. Your children are. As such you need to worry about what is best for ...



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