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38

It seems to me that being shouted at is likely to make any child cry, particularly by an older child. Shouting is not nice, and intimidating particularly from an older child. Door knocking i've not seen before, but if door knocking includes fairly loud knocking, it could also be a bit disturbing. More likely to me, he's concerned about some change when ...


24

It is important to recognize that even though we, as adults, know that there are no such things as ghosts, to the child they are real. And no amount of logic will convince them otherwise. You have to accept, for a while, that what they think is real, is actually real, and then you can deal with making it not scary. So rather than trying to reverse their ...


21

We had exactly the same situation with our daughter, until very recently (she is three years old now). The best recommendation I can give you is: Patience.. Patience.. Patience... We were always firm about washing her hair regularly, even though she protested quite strongly. On the other hand, we always told her before, that we would wash her hair today ...


21

That particular irrational fear is common. Take her fears seriously, because they're real to her. Explaining that they are unfounded doesn't work, nor does smiling at or dismissing her fears. If you're reassuring and comforting, she'll learn one more reason to trust you with her feelings (really important) and that it's okay to feel afraid. Then you can work ...


19

(What is it with toddlers and hot air balloons? Mine can't stand them either -- I think the floating blows his mind... what's holding it up in the air?!?) We frame the holiday in terms of playing pretend: "you get to dress-up and pretend you are something else!" I try to only have mildly scary things around, and also teach him it can be fun to be a little ...


17

Being brave is not the absence of fear, it is doing the right thing even though you are afraid. Fear is good, it is based off of natural preservation instincts and can warn of danger. You need to teach him about the things that are more important than self preservation: Teach him about principles and standing for them, Teach him about chivalry, teach him ...


16

With my 22-month-old son, the complete opposite approach works best. If I take water in a pitcher and shout: "Wooooo SPLASH!" as I let it all fall on his head, he laughs and asks for more. If I try to do it slowly and patiently, he complains. In general, I find that adding sound effects to the activities he dislikes helps a lot (such as going "bzzzz CLIP! ...


14

What I have found most effective is to teach them a coping mechanism, something active to do so they don't feel helpless, and give them plenty of time to employ it. For example: Okay, some water is coming. Close your eyes and mouth tightly so it won't get in! Kids often cry because they're scared of water getting in their mouth, which sort of creates ...


13

Small traumas are a part of life, and learning to accept that is part of growing up. Some thoughts: Talk about it. When discussing the incident use calming language: It was an accident, and sometimes accidents happen. One time I had an accident (describe briefly) and I hurt my leg (or whatever). It scared me, but then after a while I didn't really think ...


12

I think her reaction is not unusual. Her safe space was violated, and it takes a while for it to start feeling safe again. My parents had similar reactions when their home was broken into: startling at shadows and sudden sounds, fitful sleep, and some apprehension when entering the house. It goes away slowly. My gut reaction is to offer as much comfort as ...


11

Something happened. What, nobody knows except him. Probably he is now reminded of this when you give him a bath, and he starts screaming. If you now force him to have a bath even though he is screaming, this will just keep on making it worse. For every bath you give him while he is screaming, the association between horror and bathing will be stronger. ...


10

We cured the same problem in my daughter, INSTANTLY, with a cheap pair of swimming goggles. I showed her what they were, what they are for - she pressed them to her face, and that was it. no going back! The same pair got her used to jumping in a swimming pool, and to learn to swim. Now she's nine years old, and an experienced scuba diver!


9

These kind of stories are meant to scare children - the child collector from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the wicked witch, Grimm fairy tales, Doctor Who - we have a rich history of scary stories for kids. The problem isn't the being scared - it's actually a good healthy part of growing up. The thing to do is not try to persuade your child that they shouldn't ...


9

Poor little guy. Try searching for information on "childhood fears" and "night terrors", those are the usual terms used. Here's one set of basic recommendations: General Guidelines for Any Age When your child is afraid -- whether at age 5 or 15 -- remember to approach the fears with respect. Chansky suggests following these basic guidelines: ...


8

I have a few ideas based on personal experience; the main focus is dealing with it as a gradual change, and keeping in mind that all children are different, so something that works for one child may not work in this case. Keep in mind that if she's that afraid at 5, the process may take a while - it needs to be done at her pace, not yours. Get her a ...


8

I remember hating swim classes as a child - I never did learn to swim properly, though I can tread water and get across a pool (which I eventually taught myself). I have never enjoyed it. When my kids were 4 and 5, we moved to a townhouse with a community pool. We went down there every day, usually twice a day, just to play. My kids taught themselves to ...


7

If you are religious, you can tell her that God is stronger than any ghost, and he will protect her. This is from the point of view of a Christian, but might work for other religions too. Tell her that she can pray for God to protect her, and he will, and the ghosts can't get to her. This allows her to believe what her mother told her, but also gives her ...


7

I have dealt with this fear as a babysitter and this always works. Kids never cry when I wash their hair. First get or make some bath puppets. Puppets make a great distraction and kids would rather have the puppets washing a rinsing their hair. Buy a unbreakable mirror. At lunch or anytime way before bathtime show your son the puppets have them talk to him ...


7

I've known quite a few kids that just wanted to hold on to something while they fell asleep. Having a cozy, or something to regularly cuddle with is also completely normal and acceptable at this age as well. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion it means he is fearful, its just a part of how he sleeps. Do you have a favorite pillow you always sleep better ...


7

There are a couple of stumbling blocks you may be encountering, but first, I'd just like to say, many children have to be taught how to either reign in their over-developed sense of everyone bowing to their needs and whims, or they need to be taught how to speak up for themselves. When these two extremes are balanced, it can be referred to as self-advocacy. ...


7

This might sound like a total cliche, but have you tried to get him to participate in extracurricular activities? Our daughter, a bit younger than your son, has really started to show more confidence in herself since she started tae kwon do. It sounds like he could use the balance a different atmosphere and environment, not to mention a different set of ...


7

One of the key elements of a parenting course I attended was to introduce the accidents/dangers in controlled environment. (ofcourse it was with respect to fire, sharp things etc, but could be tried here). You need to understand what part of the accidents the child is remembering. The gunshot or breaking of glass with no apparent reason (to her). If it ...


7

All fears are rational, but the reactions to those fears are more or less extreme. When she expresses fear about the crosswalk you acknowledge her fear. Listen to her. When you comment you accept her fear as real. Her: "Cars were zooming through that crossing today!" You good: "It is annoying isn't it. They don't realise what it is like for pedestrians" ...


7

I think this depends on the child. For my older son (also 3, and recently went through a Ghosts stage), who's fairly intelligent and straightforward, I would approach this intellectually. I would certainly not be inconsistent about it, whatever you do. If you're alternating "playing zombie" with "zombies aren't real", you're going to confuse him; while ...


6

I have to agree with Rory. I am 31 years old and I cannot watch horror films (seriously, the last horror film I watched was Thirteen Ghosts which many horror enthusiasts assure me is one of the absolute worst horror films ever made, but after I watched that movie I swore off of them altogether because I didn't sleep for days--and I was probably 25 when I ...


6

Ask her what she is afraid of, and then listen. Many kids are afraid of drowning, getting burned, being cold, not being able to see when the water is streaming at their eyes, not being able to hear if water is in their ears, the feeling of water in or on their nose or ears. Sometime it's the temperature and sometimes, it's the pressure. It may be something ...


6

Is there a nice way to tell them? I'm not quite sure I know what you mean by "a nice way". If you mean, a way that they won't be upset or won't cause a scene, you might try taking them out to dinner at a very nice restaurant and breaking the news to them there after a couple glasses of fine wine. That will probably force them to keep their voices down. ...


6

Basically I remember when my daughter would be happily playing. Then I'd try to leave the room and... yeahIthinkNO. The emotions expressed ranged from "No" to "HOW DARE YOU SIR!" Remember that below 2 years, their emotions are very immediate, there's no "It's just 5 minutes", they're unhappy now. Because of this, the gap between "Worst thing ever" and "Oh ...


6

Yes, it is perfectly normal. I am over 30 and still have some chills walking at home alone in the dark of night. Children have problem separating fantasy and reality. By 11 this is almost gone, but the mileage is different for each person. Do not diminish those fears. Empathy is the keyword here. Tell him that it is ok to have fears, but we need to be brave ...


6

I think your daughter is pretty similar to my two guys. They're both somewhat limited in their 'fear' reflex, at least for most things (my older one is pretty clingy when he thinks we're going to leave him somewhere). There are basically two sides of this. On the one hand, being willing to try new things and do all sorts of physical activities is great. ...



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