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22

The problem isn't "family", it's "meeting". Meetings without an announced agenda are generally a Bad Thing in business, and not much better in a family. And anything called a "meeting" is an immediate turn-off. Heck, I don't know what you think a "family meeting" is, so I would be nervous about attending!


20

From the sounds of it you have kind of set her up to not see "family meetings" in a positive light. First, it sounds like family meetings aren't a common occurrence at you house. In your daughters mind this might translate into thoughts of "Ok, something serious is coming." Serious means something she will have to deal with, usually because it will be ...


18

If you don't have family meetings very often, my guess is the previous two were announcing the divorce and the remarriage, even if they weren't called a family meeting. Aside from that, it's probably mostly a result of her not enjoying the anticipation, which is much more fun for the person in the know than it is for others. Next time, it's probably better ...


6

If I were in her shoes, I would probably be wondering why do we have to have a "meeting"?! In fact, I find it hard to reconcile the two words together: "family" and "meeting". I am not commenting on your particular family, just expanding on the concept of the "family meeting". Families are supposed to have some cohesion and togetherness by default in ...


5

Your comment "define us with the word family" may be one of valid reasons. If she doesn't fully define you with the word 'family', then even the symbolic act of explicitly structuring and naming various things as 'family something' is confrontational - it can easily be emotionally felt as pushing her to openly accept the definition you want (contradicting ...


5

My first guess is she is expecting the worst. When people have good news they tend to tell it to you immediately. When they have bad news they call family meetings. My second guess is that she thinks you want something from her. If you didn't she wouldn't need to be there. Now no matter how trivial you think your request is you have to remember she is 13. ...


1

The plain fact is that almost no one does this without either strong ideological motivation (i.e. the Kibbutz system), or severe financial necessity (orphanages) or both (Romanian orphanages), which --to me --suggests that it's probably a very bad idea. With that said, the closest you'll find is a probably an elite private boarding school. If you want to ...


1

I don't think play dates are important. I think family time is. I think kids will ask for them when they're ready whether it's 5 or 10 years old. A loving family carries kids into emotional health and maturity. Friends are good for an independence of sorts and sometimes great fulfillment but kids need mature role modelling. Most kids I see fight a lot ...



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