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41

Kids, even well after toddler years, tend to enjoy a hike in different ways than adults. We like taking our three out for walks in the woods, and have done so from infancy (some great baby pictures of Daddy carrying daughter in a sling!). One possibility is that shorter outings will improve her outlook. Having small expectations was the hardest transition ...


22

The problem isn't "family", it's "meeting". Meetings without an announced agenda are generally a Bad Thing in business, and not much better in a family. And anything called a "meeting" is an immediate turn-off. Heck, I don't know what you think a "family meeting" is, so I would be nervous about attending!


21

I checked with my girlfriend, who is a baby-wearing consultant, and she says running with a baby in a baby-backpack or sling is a bad idea. Babies do not have the muscular strength to absorb the impact shocks from running and it can cause them serious injury, no matter how tightly you wrap the baby up. While walking long distance is fine and older ...


20

From the sounds of it you have kind of set her up to not see "family meetings" in a positive light. First, it sounds like family meetings aren't a common occurrence at you house. In your daughters mind this might translate into thoughts of "Ok, something serious is coming." Serious means something she will have to deal with, usually because it will be ...


18

If you don't have family meetings very often, my guess is the previous two were announcing the divorce and the remarriage, even if they weren't called a family meeting. Aside from that, it's probably mostly a result of her not enjoying the anticipation, which is much more fun for the person in the know than it is for others. Next time, it's probably better ...


13

At three or four years old we had this same issue with our oldest daughter. She would get used to me carrying her during the hardest parts of the hike, or when she got tired. Our solution was that I would put her back on her feet when we came across trail markings, and she could only ask for me to pick her back up after two more trail markings have passed. ...


10

We've got two working adults and three kids — we're very familiar with the scheduling challenges this causes. (Once your daughter starts having extracurricular activities, things will only get more hectic!) First off, if you want the whole family to be eating the same meal at the same time, a snack on the way home for your daughter is pretty critical to ...


9

This is a tough situation. I can't possibly know a reliable solution to your problem, but I have a few ideas. Consider what I write and try to adapt it to your situation. It is possible that whatever is happening at your house has deeper origins that you think. Your mother being mad at you may be just a sign of a deeper problem with your parents' ...


6

I had the same problem with my four year old and was surprised that just letting her pick out a new colorful pair of running sneakers to "go super fast" was all it took to get her going much further without me carrying her. Maybe I just lucked out, buy you might try making a big deal out of a new shoe purchase. Another idea is grab another kid to go with ...


6

Could it be that those "few hours walk in the woods" exceeded her range (both in physical endurance and attention span) pretty much from the get-go, so you ended up always carrying her towards the end of the hike? (I got kids age 12 and 8 who get bored of a "hike" in much less than "a few hours". They can run around the playground, and do visits to the ...


6

If I were in her shoes, I would probably be wondering why do we have to have a "meeting"?! In fact, I find it hard to reconcile the two words together: "family" and "meeting". I am not commenting on your particular family, just expanding on the concept of the "family meeting". Families are supposed to have some cohesion and togetherness by default in ...


5

Your comment "define us with the word family" may be one of valid reasons. If she doesn't fully define you with the word 'family', then even the symbolic act of explicitly structuring and naming various things as 'family something' is confrontational - it can easily be emotionally felt as pushing her to openly accept the definition you want (contradicting ...


5

My first guess is she is expecting the worst. When people have good news they tend to tell it to you immediately. When they have bad news they call family meetings. My second guess is that she thinks you want something from her. If you didn't she wouldn't need to be there. Now no matter how trivial you think your request is you have to remember she is 13. ...


4

How about giving her a small amount of food that doesn't need preperation as soon as she gets home? Enough food for her to be less hungry, but not that much that she's really full? That way you or your husband can prepare the main dish as soon as you're home, and she can eat with you? Or ask the daycare if it is possible to give her some fruit between ...


4

We started running with our lil one at 10 weeks from the advice we received from her pediatrician. We picked up a used Ironman BOB with the non-steering front wheel and lower center of gravity compared to the newer models. The biggest concern, we were advised to focus on, was making sure her (your gender may vary :) head was very very very well supported ...


4

You can request a meeting with them at their mother's house or somewhere else they love. And it is not at all as difficult as you imagine. Do not stop yourself; let them feel that you truly love them, tell them something you never told them. Most of all make them feel that no matter what happens, you will be there for them. (Note: My father is not very ...


4

One trick which worked marvels for me was, saying to him: if you are tired, you can run and wait for me under that tree over there, sit down and relax. My son was often too tired to walk, but not tired enough to run to a shade under a tree where he can sit and look at me as I was walking.


4

Great question, we have the same problem. What we came up so far: Singing songs, playing games ("I spy with my little eye") etc. Simply telling her that she is too heavy to be carried. Promise a reward if she manages it without carrying.


3

In addition to Erica's detailed and excellent answer, a few notes for how we handle this (in a similar situation). Most of our meals are planned around our schedules. We have nights that one of us is home a bit earlier, and nights one of us will be home later (or both). On nights that we can be home a bit earlier, we plan dinners that might take a bit of ...


3

We have done a lot of hiking with our baby, but not trail running. While I think you could, in theory, run with a backpack, it's likely to mean a lot of jiggling for the baby. They aren't designed to be so restrictive - the shoulder straps have a few cm gap above baby's shoulders for comfort and mobility, which would mean a few cm jump each time you take ...


2

It depends on what you mean by constantly, and the exact height, the firmness of the bed, position of the child on landing, etc. Fundamentally, the most problematic thing is happening in her head. A man falling 30 feet hitting a concrete abutment will die of internal injuries, because while the outside of his body stops suddenly, the contents of the body ...


2

I don't think your desire for time with your step daughter is wrong. It's a good desire. It sounds like you get her for the weekends a lot more during the school year than during the summer, though, and it also sounds like she has a wonderful support system between you, her mom, and her maternal grandparents. First, you don't need to worry too much about ...


2

Try an alternative to carrying her the rest of the way. Instead of having her be carried the rest of the way for the hike, start taking short (15 minutes or so) breaks to let her rest for awhile, before continuing on the trail. This will mean that it will take longer for you, and you may have to shorten the full length of the trip, but it will give her ...


2

I'm not sure you can find a way to interest them in visiting you. Perhaps you could focusing on finding ways to show your interest in them. Call them on holidays or other times, ask how they are doing, if they have plans for the occasion, how education or work is going (depending on their ages) and other easy to talk about items. Maybe, if you can, ...


1

The plain fact is that almost no one does this without either strong ideological motivation (i.e. the Kibbutz system), or severe financial necessity (orphanages) or both (Romanian orphanages), which --to me --suggests that it's probably a very bad idea. With that said, the closest you'll find is a probably an elite private boarding school. If you want to ...


1

You are looking at the problem as an adult, look at this as a three year old. I walk -> I don't like it anymore -> I ask to get carried -> I like that... Simple. To break the cycle, communicate the way a three year old would. While you are walking have three year old type conversations, about colors and heaven. Don't walk, go from one place ...


1

As detailed as your question was, quite a few pertinent facts were not mentioned, but I'll do my best with what I have here. This is also long, and I hope I can help. I can tell you from experience that legally speaking, perhaps depending upon the state in which you live, your legal rights are quite limited until you are actually married, and even then they ...


1

I would say that running with a child in a baby-bagpack or sling is possibly dangerous to child's health. Our body is kept in position mainly because of our muscles, not bones themselves. If our muscles disappeared, we would be basically rag dolls with some hard parts inside. Actually, that's more or less what a newborn is. Except that the hard parts - bones ...



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