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41

Kids, even well after toddler years, tend to enjoy a hike in different ways than adults. We like taking our three out for walks in the woods, and have done so from infancy (some great baby pictures of Daddy carrying daughter in a sling!). One possibility is that shorter outings will improve her outlook. Having small expectations was the hardest transition ...


22

The problem isn't "family", it's "meeting". Meetings without an announced agenda are generally a Bad Thing in business, and not much better in a family. And anything called a "meeting" is an immediate turn-off. Heck, I don't know what you think a "family meeting" is, so I would be nervous about attending!


21

I checked with my girlfriend, who is a baby-wearing consultant, and she says running with a baby in a baby-backpack or sling is a bad idea. Babies do not have the muscular strength to absorb the impact shocks from running and it can cause them serious injury, no matter how tightly you wrap the baby up. While walking long distance is fine and older ...


20

From the sounds of it you have kind of set her up to not see "family meetings" in a positive light. First, it sounds like family meetings aren't a common occurrence at you house. In your daughters mind this might translate into thoughts of "Ok, something serious is coming." Serious means something she will have to deal with, usually because it will be ...


18

If you don't have family meetings very often, my guess is the previous two were announcing the divorce and the remarriage, even if they weren't called a family meeting. Aside from that, it's probably mostly a result of her not enjoying the anticipation, which is much more fun for the person in the know than it is for others. Next time, it's probably better ...


17

First of all, my advice is that you should avoid television and computers for now. He's too young to really benefit from it, and these things can train him to become even more impatient and shorten his attention span. I think this related question has several useful answers for you: How can I keep a 14 month old busy at some activity for longer than 3 ...


13

At three or four years old we had this same issue with our oldest daughter. She would get used to me carrying her during the hardest parts of the hike, or when she got tired. Our solution was that I would put her back on her feet when we came across trail markings, and she could only ask for me to pick her back up after two more trail markings have passed. ...


12

First off, what you're describing is common even for families with similar attitudes. Young children have a tough time dealing with changes, and having to sleep in an unusual bed or sleeping arrangement is hard. Your baby will probably have trouble even if the two kids were perfectly normal: it's the change in habits that does it. I certainly would expect ...


10

We've got two working adults and three kids — we're very familiar with the scheduling challenges this causes. (Once your daughter starts having extracurricular activities, things will only get more hectic!) First off, if you want the whole family to be eating the same meal at the same time, a snack on the way home for your daughter is pretty critical to ...


9

This is a tough situation. I can't possibly know a reliable solution to your problem, but I have a few ideas. Consider what I write and try to adapt it to your situation. It is possible that whatever is happening at your house has deeper origins that you think. Your mother being mad at you may be just a sign of a deeper problem with your parents' ...


8

Cycling is a sport the whole family can do together. It grows with the family too. Initially, younger ones can be attached to an adult bike in a seat or with a bike pup. Later they become independent. Soccer is another sport everyone can play with minimal equipment.


8

This is one of those things that if you get creative about, you can almost always find a way for them to help. For example, my 3yo wanted to help move a heavy couch a few weeks back. Of course, having him actually stand near the couch itself was dangerous, so I told him that he could stand behind me, put his hand on my back, and help push me as I walked ...


8

Keep in mind, your nieces' routines are being disrupted as well, and their behavior isn't quite normal in this situation either. We were in similar situations when our children were younger. What happened with us was no one was very happy with the situation, but no one wanted to admit they didn't want to fill every possible waking moment with family ...


7

I know I'm repeating myself here, but LEGO is such an awesome toy. For ages under 5, there's LEGO Duplo which are basically just bigger blocks that can't be swallowed. I'm building stuff with my nearly-2-year-old and it's still fun although I'm 37! Just stacking and creating all kinds of silly constructions. My son will mostly tear them apart but also ...


7

I have a 5 year old boy and a 2 year old daughter. Finding something they can play together can be challenging, especially because my 2 year old doesn't have a lot of the fine motor control required for many of the things that my 5 year old takes for granted. Its also important to note, that developmentally a 2 year old will not necessarily play with others. ...


7

From about age 4 and up, my top recommendation is martial arts study. In addition to being a great work-out, it teaches a useful skill and instills confidence, a sense of responsibility, and many other great traits. From birth up, swimming is another great, active way to spend time together. There's something to do in the pool at any age, and it's a great ...


6

Our son started really getting into certain types of building toys around that age, wooden trains/tracks, duplos, and megablocks. Megablocks are easier to put together than duplos if you child is not dexterous enough for duplos yet. Spend as much time as you can doing physical (for him) things too, take walks together, or take a soft ball outside and show ...


6

If I were in her shoes, I would probably be wondering why do we have to have a "meeting"?! In fact, I find it hard to reconcile the two words together: "family" and "meeting". I am not commenting on your particular family, just expanding on the concept of the "family meeting". Families are supposed to have some cohesion and togetherness by default in ...


6

Could it be that those "few hours walk in the woods" exceeded her range (both in physical endurance and attention span) pretty much from the get-go, so you ended up always carrying her towards the end of the hike? (I got kids age 12 and 8 who get bored of a "hike" in much less than "a few hours". They can run around the playground, and do visits to the ...


6

I had the same problem with my four year old and was surprised that just letting her pick out a new colorful pair of running sneakers to "go super fast" was all it took to get her going much further without me carrying her. Maybe I just lucked out, buy you might try making a big deal out of a new shoe purchase. Another idea is grab another kid to go with ...


5

It sounds like the other parents are disregarding your interests and concerns in favor of their own preferred style and interests. Your examples of their statements are anything but respectful or considerate. I could accept that for an afternoon visit, but I'd not be happy with that arrangement during a multi-day family get-together. It's not about your ...


5

Maybe I can approach the question in a broader sense. In suburban America we have built a community that does not meet our needs. To get anywhere we have to drive. For children, schools are out of walking distance, friends from school can be further than that, and parents don't trust children to bicycle on neighborhood roads. We spend so much time driving ...


5

Your comment "define us with the word family" may be one of valid reasons. If she doesn't fully define you with the word 'family', then even the symbolic act of explicitly structuring and naming various things as 'family something' is confrontational - it can easily be emotionally felt as pushing her to openly accept the definition you want (contradicting ...


5

My first guess is she is expecting the worst. When people have good news they tend to tell it to you immediately. When they have bad news they call family meetings. My second guess is that she thinks you want something from her. If you didn't she wouldn't need to be there. Now no matter how trivial you think your request is you have to remember she is 13. ...


4

Bocce or bowls, similar sports whose popularity depend on where you live, are pretty intuitive even for children. This may not be a good idea if you're trying to use this to replace your scheduled exercise routine, though!


4

You can request a meeting with them at their mother's house or somewhere else they love. And it is not at all as difficult as you imagine. Do not stop yourself; let them feel that you truly love them, tell them something you never told them. Most of all make them feel that no matter what happens, you will be there for them. (Note: My father is not very ...


4

As well as the other good suggestions already made, I would like to add one: don't have too many different toys out at all the same time. If a toddler catches sight of something out of the corner of their eye, it will be "ooh, shiny" and they'll be off to that and forget what they were just doing! If you want to persist with the same toy for a bit longer, ...


4

We started running with our lil one at 10 weeks from the advice we received from her pediatrician. We picked up a used Ironman BOB with the non-steering front wheel and lower center of gravity compared to the newer models. The biggest concern, we were advised to focus on, was making sure her (your gender may vary :) head was very very very well supported ...


4

How about giving her a small amount of food that doesn't need preperation as soon as she gets home? Enough food for her to be less hungry, but not that much that she's really full? That way you or your husband can prepare the main dish as soon as you're home, and she can eat with you? Or ask the daycare if it is possible to give her some fruit between ...


4

Great question, we have the same problem. What we came up so far: Singing songs, playing games ("I spy with my little eye") etc. Simply telling her that she is too heavy to be carried. Promise a reward if she manages it without carrying.



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