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3

Please forgive my posting anonymously, but I think I might be in a unique position to answer this. Without going into too many gory details about my family history, my mother found out she was married to A Very Bad Man and, immediately, left him, taking my sister, her three-year-old daughter, with her. I was born later, in her second marriage, and growing ...


1

Honestly, get a restraining order using the letters that covers both your own house and your mother's. These letters demonstrate risk and possibly intent, and he should be (for his own sake as well as the safety of your children) restrained from being within (say): 500m of the children's usual residence 500m of the children's school(s) 500m of the location ...


2

Some very good answers here, but I thought I had some value to add. My ex-wife's father was a serial molester and we took great care that he never interacted with our daughter. Before talking to the kids, explain very clearly the situation to all adults involved. Make a policy and write it down. (Understand the legal rules as well, and incorporate those.) ...


7

What a horrible dilemma! As I see it, your problem comprises three distinct elements: Your mother has little or no sense of what reasonable boundaries consist of. She also lies when it suits her purposes, and for some reason has prioritized her relationship with her son over the safety of her grandchildren Your uncle has even less sense of boundaries than ...


9

I would provide much less information to your children than you have listed here. It would go something like this. Uncle Joe has a problem in his head and he hurts people on purpose. Not just people, but children like you. I won't allow him near you in case he decides to hurt you. (Optionally: it's a very small chance, but even a small chance is too ...


3

The clear answer is illness. Even a 9 yr old understands sickness. This sickness is one that can cause harm to others because ability for self-control is damaged. Until the illness can be cured, it's simply too dangerous for the person to be around. The idea of illness in others can be very important in these circumstances. It's especially important as ...


11

To me, the most complicated part of this is explaining a) why you don't want to forgive, or trust (or both) your uncle, and b) why you don't trust your mother's judgement on the matter enough to allow her to see your son. (Not that I'm questioning either element - you know the situation - but explaining the above to your child.) Presumably your child has ...



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