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15

There is nothing wrong with his mind. The first time I fell in love was before my 4th birthday. I fell in love all the time in the following years, both with girls I hadn't previously known and with girls I had known for some time. There is nothing wrong with him telling you about this experience, either. On the contrary. The only thing that slightly ...


14

First off, you will argue. That's normal; that's part of being in a relationship, as I'm sure you've figured out. Having a child will only add stress to the relationship, so that means you will have arguments. Especially when you go on car trips together (close quarters for extended periods), visit relatives, etc. Here's the thing: The way that you argue ...


9

Firstly, I would say there's a huge difference between having a fight and having a debate. A debate sounds like something healthy. I would avoid raised voices and name calling. Avoid throwing things and slamming doors. Avoid saying things that you are going to regret. Anything that can be construed in anyway as violent, whether verbally or physically, ...


8

I don't know if there's scientific evidence about developmental benefits but it's a certainly good bonding opportunity for you to do at home. I wouldn't take my baby to somebody else and pay them to massage my baby... this is not a burdensome chore or a highly skilled activity. Google "baby massage techniques"


8

I have no idea what any kind of "best" action could possibly be. What I would want to make sure of is that no matter what interaction I have with my kids about the death of their other parent I want to be clear what is happening inside me (and deal with that) from what is happening inside them (and help them deal with that). They are two different aspects of ...


8

I am not an expert, but would like to supply some resources that you might find helpful at the website of the American Association of Suicidology. It has: a Suicide Loss Survivors page with a lot of great resources on it. links to support groups in each State (not sure if you are in the States) a monthly newsletter (which may help you feel not so alone ...


7

I would start out by handling primary-schooler tantrums the same way as toddler tantrums -- basically, don't let his tantrums succeed. Immediate and natural consequence. Deny him whatever it was he threw the tantrum over, end your current activity, abort your planned activity, or whatever else is appropriate. Don't give in, ever. A tantrum never wins. He ...


6

One thing I’ve heard suggested is that if an argument starts in the child’s presence, it should also be resolved in his or her presence (i.e.: if you get into an argument, don’t take it to another room to spare the child). The reasoning is that the child won’t understand that the argument was resolved, so his or her tension remains. You also lose the ...


6

Regarding your specific questions (motor skills and emotional development): The only evidence I could find that supported the idea of an improvement in motor skills were studies that showed an increase in weight for premature babies that received therapeutic massage versus premature babies who did not receive therapeutic massage. There were repeated ...


6

My daughter had problems with shutting down and crying especially if she got something wrong or failed at something. When she was 8, I enrolled her in a local kung fu afterschool program (combo child care/martial arts class). The master taught them pride in themselves via real achievement and didn't take any crap (where to be fair, this behavior falls in ...


5

When my oldest was having trouble being dropped at daycare, I moved the decision for how long I would stick around at dropoff onto her. (She was about 3 iirc.) We didn't have a traumatic experience like yours complicating things, but I think this might help for you. I simply told her that each morning I would stay until she told me to go. The immediate ...


5

Bless her little heart; what a scary thing to go through. And bless y'all's hearts too; this sounds absolutely horrible to have gone through. Have you looked into therapy? Sounds like something that a professional who has dealt with grief and trauma issues might have some insights in handling.


5

You could try connecting with him. Often, parenting isn't about seeking obedience, it is about building connection. Children will follow leaders they trust and respect, and feel trusted and respected by. Just like the rest of us. And, yes, you are right, not all children are the same. He is an individual with his own triggers, sensitivities, etc, as well as ...


5

When the behavior that you are displaying begins either one of you can say, we need to table this until after the baby goes to sleep. Then be sure to pick it up at that time to get it out of your system. It is good to practice this now, as when the child gets older it becomes even more important. And if you do end up fighting infront of a child, be sure ...


5

Short answer: tell the the truth Long answer: My father went to jail... twice for the same offence, one time for a short period, 6 months in which my mom told us nothing, and one time for 2 years, and my mother spoke openly about it towards me and my older sister, we also visited regularly and my dad always had writings to give to us or nice drawings. ...


4

Your boy is perfectly normal and reminds me of myself at his age. I constantly was "falling in love" but looking back, I was attracted to or enjoyed being around that person. I can also see now that I look back that I was looking up to my own parents and siblings relationships. Wanting to be like them and have what they have. I also, can see TV being an ...


4

First of all, I am sorry for your loss. Even tho it was a while ago, that doesn't change the value of the loss. I am an analytical parent. I ask questions and try to figure out why my kid did whatever they did. Sure they tell me they were hollering at their sibling because they did X, but the underlying reason is sometimes much stronger but goes ...


4

Few studies have been done on this topic, and mostly the papers written on it have emphasized the destructive consequences of not telling children the whole truth promptly after death. Mostly those studies were done in the 60s and 70s, at a time when it was quite common not to tell children, and the damage done includes distorted mourning processes and ...


3

My son just turned 5 and we've had a few not-so-close family members die (nothing as closely related as a great-grandmother) and some pets. My son first started mentioning "death" around age 3 1/2 or 4 probably and I was a little surprised at how much he understood about death in general (that it means that the person or animal has left and won't be ...


3

You may be confusing happiness or satisfaction with emotional health, the two are not the same things. Emotional health is another name for mental health, where good is simply the absence of a disorder. What you are really asking is if teaching your child sign language is likely to prevent your child from having mental health problems, the answer to which is ...


3

Awww. This is so sweet. There is nothing to get worry about it, they are just kids. My son was in love for the first time at age 4 in Pre-K. He came home one day and told me, mom I like 2 girls, can I have 2 girlfriends? I say not, you must choose one. But of course I worry a little bit, I thought about myself, then and ask my husband if he felt in love ...


3

Start by explaining to her that who she is and what she does are not the same thing. Just because two people are fire fighters, for example, does not mean they are the same people. They can think and act very differently, like very different things, and generally behave very differently when they aren't working. Once the concepts of "who you are" and ...


2

The important thing is not spending time with baby through massage but the massage itself is important for baby's motor skills development. Spending time with baby is of-course important and there are many different ways for this. But that is a separate topic, it should not be intermingled with massage. In India it is a regular practice to give massage to ...


2

I think your little boy is OK! :) but I don't want to call this feeling "love". Probably, your boy thinks that those little girls are pretty, kind and he is attracted by them. He is little and little children are always interested to world around them and to people different from them. Our society is full of false "love". Our society countinuously tells ...


2

This is one of those eternals - children have various phases when they worry about things: I know I was deeply concerned about nuclear war between 1979 and 1985) but those phases pass. One of my kids (the 9 year old) worries about getting a good job when older Reassurance is important here, along with encouragement. In your specific case, I think you ...


2

I'm so sorry for your loss Skippy. It looks like you already have some wonderful advice, and it looks as though some time has passed as well. I do not have experience with this kind of loss, but I have known a large number of adolescents that were adopted and had feelings of abandonment and the sense of inadiquacy that goes with it for some, so I thought ...


2

If she's blessed with advanced intellect, she'll be also blessed with wits to deal with any issue! That's what I think. Many kids are advanced but then over the period of time, they become otherwise okay. She's intelligent and mature as you say and thus I believe that she will take it positively if you make her understand the system that everything happens ...


2

I think your daughter is simply working incomplete information -- she has analytical ability beyond her age, but the insufficient information to base her analysis on. Ask her questions -- a lot. "Why do people need to pick a career", "How long does it take to learn". This will help you understand where the knowledge gaps are so you can fill them in. Use ...


1

It's worth considering that your child may simply be doing it to get attention. You have 4 kids, so he has competition for attention, he knows that if he acts crushed he'll get dad all to himself for awhile. It's also possible that he is crushed of course. Either way my answer would be to stop trying to console him. If he's doing it for attention he's ...


1

Bless her! What a horrible thing for her to have to go through! It's understandable that at this age she might not be able to properly articulate all her fears and confusion. While I think that the primary cause of her angst is certainly your incident last year, I wonder if she isn't also suffering from some bullying or teasing at school as well. If ...



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